21 and still confused about sexual orientation

[emt1]

Yup. You read the title. I'm a guy. Any tips/advice? I really don't think I'll be able to "hook up" with anyone anytime soon... so please don't suggest that

[LVdustin]

When you look at porn...who do you look at the most? Guys or Girls?

[Sun Baked]

Personally confused?

Or failed the sex ed class confused?

[emt1]

80% guys and 20% girls. Butttt I would never want to do anything buttsex related with anyone.

6 months ago I came out of a 2 year relationship with a girl. That was my only serious relationship.

Personally confused?

Or failed the sex ed class confused?

Both ;)

[LVdustin]

Then you are psychically attracted to males, just not sexually attracted to them. You are 21 years old, this is the time where you need to go out and set the path for what you need out of another individual.

[emt1]

Then you are psychically attracted to males, just not sexually attracted to them. You are 21 years old, this is the time where you need to go out and set the path for what you need out of another individual.

gahh... if only I wasn't such a huge loser!

[dukebound85]

ill try and help out. who do you find more attractive

http://www.hollywood-celebrity-pictures.com/Celebrities/Kate-Beckinsale/Kate-Beckinsale-84.JPG or
http://msp249.photobucket.com/albums/gg214/boomer33_2007/BigHead.jpg

yes i am biased lol

[emt1]

ill try and help out. who do you find more attractive

That's a tough one :eek:

[GimmeSlack12]

gahh... if only I wasn't such a huge loser!

Aside from sexuality this sounds like a Self-Esteem issue. Got to get yourself involved in something and make you happy about you. Then you'll be confident in enjoying someone else, whether boy or girl.

[emt1]

Aside from sexuality this sounds like a Self-Esteem issue. Got to get yourself involved in something and make you happy about you. Then you'll be confident in enjoying someone else, whether boy or girl.

No no, I'm really not that bad. I like to make fun of myself but I really don't have huge self-esteem issues. Just a tad shy when it comes to approaching someone I'm interested in. Otherwise I'm not shy at all..

[dukebound85]

No no, I'm really not that bad. I like to make fun of myself but I really don't have huge self-esteem issues. Just a tad shy when it comes to approaching someone I'm interested in. Otherwise I'm not shy at all..

dude i alays get shy around the girls im interested in because i dont want to come off bad.....even though being shy may make me come off bad lol

its easy to talk to people you dont want to see naked lol

[LVdustin]

The best way to meet people is to hang out with friends and open up and be yourself and just be crazy when you meet someone you don't know and you're interested in. It's the best way, I understand you got out of a 2+ year relationship, and you think that you might be rusty at your techniques of grabbing guy/girl, but seriously, just go for it dude. And trust me, don't want it, don't force yourself, just let it happen, if it was meant to be it was meant to be, just be patient.

[emt1]

dude i alays get shy around the girls im interested in because i dont want to come off bad.....even though being shy may make me come off bad lol

its easy to talk to people you dont want to see naked lol

I am the same way about girls. I get along great with them until I'm interested...

I get along fine with guys even if I am interested, because I always assume they are straight (they usually are) and I have absolutely no chance at all.

[anjinha]

Until recently I was in the same situation as you are now. I wouldn't worry, you don't have to define yourself right now. Just go on with life and do what feels right.

I think one of the things that leads to confusion about one's sexuality is the need to have labels: gay, straight, bi... Those labels are very limiting, since it has been shown that most people aren't 100% straight or 100% gay.

[iGary]

Yup. You read the title. I'm a guy. Any tips/advice? I really don't think I'll be able to "hook up" with anyone anytime soon... so please don't suggest that

You don't have to want to participate in anal sex to be gay.

[leekohler]

You're going to have to go out and meet people. It also sounds like you may be bisexual.

[abijnk]

As somebody else suggested, don't get hung up on labels. Just worry about being comfortable in your own skin and accepting that you still have a lot to learn about yourself. You're still really young, you've got plenty of time to work it out.

[Dagless]

Meh, I didn't want any sexual stuff at all until I was 16... That messes you up a bit ;). But eventually it hit and everything feels right. I'd just ride it out. Explore both sides and see where you end up down the line.

[kainjow]

But eventually it hit and everything feels right. I'd just ride it out. Explore both sides and see where you end up down the line.

:eek: Innuendo galore ;)

[JNB]

I'll chime in with the others and suggest not worrying about "orientation." It's not like you have to register for one party or another, it's something that you'll find a "comfort zone" with others, usually more in one direction than the other, but not always. There is certainly nothing wrong with you.

Remember too, that same-sex experimentation is way more common than anyone (or at least confirmed heteros) will admit. Just because you end up wanting to try an encounter with another guy doesn't mean you're gay, or even bi, it just means you're curious.

You may find a natural affinity for one gender or the other, and it may come to you soon, or it may take years. The thing to remember is you are your own person, and free to find out what's right for you in your own way and time.

Just do it safely, please.

[n-abounds]

Well have you tried both? Or you just think you are attracted to dudes?

[coyote23]

Yup. You read the title. I'm a guy. Any tips/advice? I really don't think I'll be able to "hook up" with anyone anytime soon... so please don't suggest that

The best advice I can give is to be who you are, at the time you are being it & enjoy the ***** out of being that person....whether awkward or not, smooth or not, cool or not. The people you should really be spending time around/with will like you for who you are now. Not who you could or should be.

when I was 18-21-ish...I was confused about my sexual orientation. Then, finally, I just went ahead & slept with a guy (I also had a girlfriend) & liked it a lot. Over time, I figured that I'm bisexual - with a stronger bi-as towards cute girls...the type who happen to love both my masculine & feminine attributes. I could never really feel the sort of love for a man that I feel for women, but men are certainly fun to sleep with ;)

[Tomorrow]

I imagine this advice also applies if you're gay or bisexual:

Try not to think too hard about it. It's been my experience that I'm more relaxed and comfortable (and more "myself") when I'm not trying too hard to impress, or overthinking a situation.

Let things happen, and you'll be fine. No need to rush or force anything.

As for whether you're gay, straight, bisexual, or whatever - same thing applies. Don't worry too much about it. When something feels right, you'll know it; you'll also know if it doesn't. Just let it play out and "ride the wave," so to speak. You'll probably be much happier along the way, as well.

I wish you the best - it sounds like this is certainly a trying time for you.

[ayeying]

Not all gay people do anal sex...

[ZiggyPastorius]

You don't have to want to participate in anal sex to be gay.

?!?!?! What good is life without anal sex???

[Iscariot]

80% guys and 20% girls.

I don't think it needs to be either/or.

[Plymouthbreezer]

It's 2009. Who cares what side ya lean towards; don't worry about other's perceptions (if that was a secondary concern), any worthy humans do not judge others based on this trait.

And, just go with the flow. Where's the pressure to decide? It's your life, and however long it takes for you to decide your preference should not be put on any timetable. :)

[Capt Crunch]

With your complete disinterest in sex, perhaps you are asexual. :p

[emt1]

With your complete disinterest in sex, perhaps you are asexual. :p

Oh no, I am very much interested. Just no butt sex please and thank you. :D

[colourfastt]

Oh no, I am very much interested. Just no butt sex please and thank you. :D

Then what's the point? :D

[MultiM]

Enjoy all orientations! You don't have to settle on just one.......

[GossipGirl]

Oh no, I am very much interested. Just no butt sex please and thank you. :D

But you can't have 'sex' with a guy without having anal sex.

So basically, you like the look of a guys face, body, and his personality; more so than that of a woman, but you don't wanna have sex with him.

And with girls, you only like them sometimes - but not enough to do anything?

Maybe you're A-sexual or just not into sex, but you're bisexual, or gay.

Most confused people are, forgive me, split down the middle: either they're gay and don't want to admit it, or they're straight.. with the occasional bi chucked in for good measure.

[Capt Crunch]

But you can't have 'sex' with a guy without having anal sex.

Do you subscribe to the Bill Clinton definition of sex? He can still get head you know.

[GossipGirl]

Do you subscribe to the Bill Clinton definition of sex? He can still get head you know.

It's not penetrative sex though, you can't go through your life having head and saying "yes, I've had sex".

[Dagless]

It's not penetrative sex though, you can't go through your life having head and saying "yes, I've had sex".

So then lesbians aren't "having sex"?

[Capt Crunch]

So then lesbians aren't "having sex"?

Not without a strap-on, apparently.

[ButtUglyJeff]

Oh no, I am very much interested. Just no butt sex please and thank you. :D

Pitching or catching? ;)

[emt1]

But you can't have 'sex' with a guy without having anal sex.

So basically, you like the look of a guys face, body, and his personality; more so than that of a woman, but you don't wanna have sex with him.

And with girls, you only like them sometimes - but not enough to do anything?

Maybe you're A-sexual or just not into sex, but you're bisexual, or gay.

Most confused people are, forgive me, split down the middle: either they're gay and don't want to admit it, or they're straight.. with the occasional bi chucked in for good measure.

No no, I've had sex with girls. Love it.

[tayshon]

OMG, you are still young don't rush yourself, have fun. If you feel as though you like someone just be yourself around them and everything will fall into place.

[ecstasy]

6 months ago I came out of a 2 year relationship with a girl. That was my only serious relationship.


Well, I guess this flew over everybody's heads.

Mind my asking, but did this relationship end on a really bad note/break-up?

[Prof.]

Go have full-on sex with a guy. Then go have full-on sex with a girl.

kbai.:D

[DiamondMac]

Just be careful in any sexual activity

[emt1]

Well, I guess this flew over everybody's heads.

Mind my asking, but did this relationship end on a really bad note/break-up?

I wouldn't say that it ended on a bad note, but I didn't take it well. But I've been having attraction towards other guys since about 2004.. the summer after my freshmen year of high school.

Go have full-on sex with a guy. Then go have full-on sex with a girl.

kbai.:D

Okay! Any takers?!

[Prof.]

Okay! Any takers?!
I might be gay, but I'm no ho!

or am I? :D:p

PS - when you say no buttsecks, do you mean you don't wanna bottom or you don't wanna top or you don't wanna do it at all? o.O

[ecstasy]

I wouldn't say that it ended on a bad note, but I didn't take it well. But I've been having attraction towards other guys since about 2004.. the summer after my freshmen year of high school.

Exactly.

That has made you a bit shaky, no?

[emt1]

Exactly.

That has made you a bit shaky, no?

I don't think it really changed anything.

I might be gay, but I'm no ho!

or am I? :D:p

PS - when you say no buttsecks, do you mean you don't wanna bottom or you don't wanna top or you don't wanna do it at all? o.O

Not at all.

[Prof.]

Okay. Do you prefer guys or girls? (In a sexual way)

[skunk]

Sexual orientation can be very confusing, and it can change. Go with the flow. Whatever blows your skirt up.

[emt1]

Okay. Do you prefer guys or girls? (In a sexual way)

I think that I see more guys that I'm sexually attracted to than girls, but I don't think there is a difference in.. intensity of the attraction.. if you will

Maybe I'm just more picky about girls? Hmm..

[Prof.]

So... you're sexually attracted to guys, just not interested in full-on sex with a guy...? How do you feel about sex with a girl?

[emt1]

So... you're sexually attracted to guys, just not interested in full-on sex with a guy...? How do you feel about sex with a girl?

I'd be into it. I've done it.

[Prof.]

If you've done it with both, which do you prefer?:confused:

[emt1]

If you've done it with both, which do you prefer?:confused:

I don't knowwww

Gah. I think I just need more experience with guys.

[Prof.]

You are Bi-sexual leaning Gay.

Congrats!:D

[emt1]

You are Bi-sexual leaning Gay.

Congrats!:D

Oh. Well. Okay then... um... thanks! I'm glad we got that settled. :)

[Prof.]

I've gone thru the same routine with some of my friends. I'm a pro at this sort of thing. :p

[ecstasy]

I have friends who were bisexual.

Most of them, if not all, decided gay after a short while.

[GossipGirl]

Not without a strap-on, apparently.

So then lesbians aren't "having sex"?

To be more graphic, when lesbians have sex, usually when they climax, they're stimulating each other sex organs at the same time, whether it be with hands, or a strap on, or whatever.

They're having ''sex''.

Getting head does not constitute as having "sex".

sex |seks|
noun
1 (chiefly with reference to people) sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse

Having head is not intercourse.

The male anus has glands which are stimulated during arousal, leading to a "happy ending" - like the female equivalent, the vagina.

Putting your schlong in someones mouth is only stimulating one person, therefore, I don't think it could be classified as having sex.

Either way OP, if you love having sex with girls, yet don't love having sex with guys (you've ruled out anal) - haven't you pretty much answered your own question?

[Mord]

To be more graphic, when lesbians have sex, usually when they climax, they're stimulating each other sex organs at the same time, whether it be with hands, or a strap on, or whatever.

They're having ''sex''.

Getting head does not constitute as having "sex".

sex |seks|
noun
1 (chiefly with reference to people) sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse

Having head is not intercourse.

The male anus has glands which are stimulated during arousal, leading to a "happy ending" - like the female equivalent, the vagina.

Putting your schlong in someones mouth is only stimulating one person, therefore, I don't think it could be classified as having sex.

Either way OP, if you love having sex with girls, yet don't love having sex with guys (you've ruled out anal) - haven't you pretty much answered your own question?

That all doesn't preclude having sex without putting it up the pooper if you're a couple of guys.

to the op: try not to worry about it, i wasn't entirely sure about myself until I experimented a good deal and found out that my orientation was primarily none of the above and focused on D/S instead, I didn't have any particular sexual drive up to that point and now I'm a full blown nymphomaniac ^_^.

That all happened when I was 18-20 gradually over a couple of years and I'm still discovering things about myself and I still expect to for many years to come.

Try and ignore broad generalisations and definitions of what is and isn't sex as when it comes down to it, the only thing that matters is whether you/your partners feel fulfilled or not and as plenty of people have said tons of gay men do not like the idea of anal sex.

That said it doesn't have to be dirty, enemas can come in handy in that regard and are an enjoyable experience in on themselves imo ;)

Whatever you do try not to give a toss what others think of you, your sex life is *your* sex life not anyone else's.