"That's so gay" and "No homo", what do you think?

[Zombie Acorn]

Sorry, didn't realize you were. But just because you are willing to use yourself as an example of "stupid", that doesn't make it right to describe your boyfriend that way. Or girlfriend, if you are a girl.

But you're all grown up now, right?

Its not like its part of my regular vocabulary, when my friends and I are doing other immature things such as getting drunk at a bar I am not really worried about saying "thats gay".

You seemed to not believe there was anyway that this term could enter someones vocab without them knowing what it means, I just gave you a way (and a very popular show that most people have watched).

[Badandy]

Wow, I leave for a few hours and return to this? :eek:

Really folks? Context is NOT the discussion, this is about right and wrong. Regardless of your upbringing there comes a time to think for yourself. I will admit I have said derogatory things in my past but as you grow and mature you begin to learn to live and let live and not pass judgement on others.

You know calling something gay is not a "happy or merry" adjective. You know, somewhere deep down, that it isn't right. It doesn't matter if your current company accepts your "slang". I think the "that's retarded" comment is just as offensive. How do you know that person doesn't have a mental challenged child at home. Would that comment make you look like an intelligent person? No. Same with the "that's gay" comment, how do you know they don't have a gay sibling or whatever. It's not right, and you know it, so knock it off.


You see what I bolded? There's a disconnect going on.

If I want to say "that's gay" or "that's retarded" to my close friends who know me, know my intent, and who I know do not find it offensive, I will. I will not say anything of the sort in front of people I don't know well because I don't know how they'd react to it. I wouldn't even test it out or have to think about not using it, it just wouldn't be in my vocabulary unless I'm talking to my close friends.

[Zombie Acorn]

You see what I bolded? There's a disconnect going on.

If I want to say "that's gay" or "that's retarded" to my close friends who know me, know my intent, and who I know do not find it offensive, I will. I will not say anything of the sort in front of people I don't know well because I don't know how they'd react to it. I wouldn't even test it out or have to think about not using it, it just wouldn't be in my vocabulary unless I'm talking to my close friends.

Now that you point that out I don't think I have ever used the term except when around friends either.

[TwinCities Dan]

You see what I bolded? There's a disconnect going on.

I do, and that's what puzzles me. Read the first two again.

You see what I bolded? There's a disconnect going on. If I want to say "that's gay" or "that's retarded" to my close friends who know me, know my intent, and who I know do not find it offensive, I will. I will not say anything of the sort in front of people I don't know well because I don't know how they'd react to it. I wouldn't even test it out or have to think about not using it, it just wouldn't be in my vocabulary unless I'm talking to my close friends.

Why do you alter your behavior based on your company? You must admit that behavior is wrong if you wouldn't do it publicly.

Now that you point that out I don't think I have ever used the term except when around friends either.

Therein lies the fuel for this fire...

[Zombie Acorn]

Therein lies the fuel for this fire...

Not really, its more of a casual term to say anyways. I have a whole different vocabulary when with friends than I do in public or with strangers.

[hulugu]

I developed a website for an organization for mentally ill children to help with donations, I still say "thats retarded".

Well, I've got to ask why? Of course, retard can be a verb and thus is a synonym for slow down, impede, etc., but you're using it as a synonym for stupid. So, why not dense, foolish, idiotic, fatuous, harebrained, wooden-headed, half-assed, etc?

Is it because the word is descriptive or because you're a bit lazy in your speech?

Its not like its part of my regular vocabulary, when my friends and I are doing other immature things such as getting drunk at a bar I am not really worried about saying "thats gay".

Here's a new drinking game: every time someone says "that's gay" they have to buy the next round.

[Zombie Acorn]

Well, I've got to ask why? Of course, retard can be a verb and thus is a synonym for slow down, impede, etc., but you're using it as a synonym for stupid. So, why not dense, foolish, idiotic, fatuous, harebrained, wooden-headed, half-assed, etc?

Is it because the word is descriptive or because you're a bit lazy in your speech?

I don't choose my casual speech because I honestly don't care that much. So I guess I would go with the later. "Thats dumb" "Thats gay" "Thats stupid" "Thats retarded" all register as the same effect in my brain. I am not thinking about gay people or retarded people when I use them either.


Here's a new drinking game: every time someone says "that's gay" they have to buy the next round.

Id have to buy a round for losing a round.

[bruinsrme]

Why do you alter your behavior based on your company? You must admit that behavior is wrong if you wouldn't do it publicly.



.

Would you rip a fart in the middle of a meeting with a client or boss and say damn thats gonna have some hang time and expect laughter.

Would you do that with your friends and would they laugh?

[hulugu]

....Id have to buy a round for losing a round.

Are you saying you can't learn?

Reminds me of a friend of mine, an ex-Marine who had to install a 'swearing jar' once he realized that his daughter was quickly learning daddy's facility with cursing, swearing, etc.

Once, I helped him install a garbage disposal and things went pear-shaped. After three trips to the hardware store, a busted wrench, lots of water in the kitchen, my friend said "******* it," took a $50 from his wallet and then proceeded to swear so much that I turned purple from laughing so hard.

He now has an interesting tic, where he might have swore, he just says "wow." His daughter, now five, does it too.

Another friend is trying to avoid saying "that sucks" and so now says "that's not awesome," which is actually more fun because it contains a bit of sarcasm in her complaint.

[Badandy]

Why do you alter your behavior based on your company?

Because everyone does.

[bruinsrme]

Id have to buy a round for losing a round.

I got the second round covered.

[thegoldenmackid]

I developed a website for an organization for mentally ill children to help with donations, I still say "thats retarded".

Does that make it right?

[LethalWolfe]

Really folks? Context is NOT the discussion, this is about right and wrong.
Gotta disagree. Context is very important especially when it comes to what is right and what is wrong. Is there a difference between Michael Richards screaming "******, ******, ******" on stage and Lenny Bruce's iconic "Are There Any ******s Here Tonight?" bit? Of course. Is there a difference between breaking someone's nose in a bar fight and breaking someone's nose in a UFC fight? Of course. One is assault and the other is a sport.

Why do you alter your behavior based on your company? You must admit that behavior is wrong if you wouldn't do it publicly.
My friend's parents when thru a nasty divorce so when I'm around my friend's mom I make it a point not to speak about her ex-husband because it upsets her. Does that make talking about my friend's dad wrong? Or does it just mean I alter my behavior because I'm thoughtful to my friend's mom's feelings?


Lethal

[Axl Rose]

I say all these "offensive" words with my friends all the time, i don't say them in public so much because people get butthurt over it.

[skunk]

Why do gay people feel they have a lock on the acronym HOMO.Homo is the Latin for "man" ("homo sapiens") and hom(e)os is the Greek for "the same" ("homosexual", "homeopathy", "homogeneous"). Disingenuous is the English for pretending you don't know which version is being used.

There is such a word HOMOSAPIEN. Prove to me that isn't what I implied.There is no such word as HOMOSAPIEN.

[dukebound85]

I call BS on that. Do you really expect us to believe you had arbitrarily chosen a term from the 50s, meaning happy and carefree, to become a negative slangadjective? No, I think you knew it was a term referring to people who were different than you.

Edit: Full disclosure, I was probably just as insensitive as a kid myself, but I grew out of it, and wouldn't think to try and defend it now.

you can call BS all you want...I happen to know my case a little more than you

and yea, a thread here isnt going to alter my behavior and i think people over react to a word that is used for a different context and a different purpose

[xlii]

The word "gay" has been hijacked and today has only one meaning. I enjoy listening to old time radio on the internet and if you listen to shows from the 30s, 40s, & 50s the word "gay" is sometimes used... and it stands out in the show to our ears because it recalls what it's meaning used to be.

Examples:

"Let's go to the party, the old gang will be there, we'll have a gay time."

"Don't be sad, lighten up, be gay."

[.Andy]

These are delicious and a bit of an institution in australia.

http://i27.tinypic.com/20p8yex.jpg

[arkitect]

These are delicious and a bit of an institution in australia.

And let's not forget the great Gaytours… ah sixties Britain. :D

http://www.thevinylrestingplaceradio.com/vrpr_images_small/gaytours.gif

[skunk]

Let's not forget these people either. Still around, and doing good business.

184357

[leekohler]

I don't choose my casual speech because I honestly don't care that much. So I guess I would go with the later. "Thats dumb" "Thats gay" "Thats stupid" "Thats retarded" all register as the same effect in my brain. I am not thinking about gay people or retarded people when I use them either.

Both of those things are quite obvious.

im not making the link Lee, you are

It would be one thing gowing up calling people fa*s and then learning its an insult as it is directed at people

calling something gay does not mean i am refeering to homosexuals. You are making that connection and then getting offended by it. I am not using that word directed at anyone so how can it be offensive.

really, how can a word be offensive if it is NOT directed at a person

our whole language relies on context

without context, words are merely noises we make. it is us that make the links to words and what they mean in the way they are used. context is everthing

I've said it before and I'll say it again- habit and ignorance don't excuse this. You're using a word that describes a group of people. You're also taking that word and using it to refer to anything you find distasteful (BTW- that definition is NOT in the dictionary), and that's what's ofensive. Whether it's an object or a person is irrelevant. You're using the word in a negative manner. That's lazy at best, offensive at worst and you damn well know it. Like I said before, if you don't mind me thinking less of you for using it, then by all means keep on using it. Because bottom line is- there are a million other ways to get your point across. If you can't think of a better way to call something or someone stupid, then I reserve the right to make up my mind about your intelligence.

Oh- and if words are just words, then why aren't you calling people "f**s"? You don't really mean they're homosexual, right?

[solvs]

I developed a website for an organization for mentally ill children to help with donations, I still say "thats retarded".
I use the term "retarded monkey", but sparingly, and only when I think someone is actually acting like a mentally disabled simian.

I also do and have done work with the physically and mentally challenged, but unlike that pusillanimous piffle pusher Carlos Mencia, won't even try to pretend to use that to justify it.

Would you do that with your friends and would they laugh?
My friends don't think that's funny.

I say all these "offensive" words with my friends all the time, i don't say them in public so much because people get butthurt over it.
Say that around my neighborhood and your butt certainly would hurt.

Do I win for most offensive gay rape joke? How about another. I saw something that I was trying to describe as overly stereotypically effeminate, not as bad (don't get the whole gay=bad thing) and said "wow, that was so gay MY ass hurt", at which one of my gay friends laughed so hard I thought he was going to plotz. Gay does not = bad. Gay = homosexual. Or happy.

Such as (if I were British): that queer (weird) tosser (*idiom, in context) gave me a fag (cigarette) and I was so gay (happy) I tossed his salad (made him a healthy lunch) covered with some gaysauce (tasty liquid, in this case salad dressing). He was tekish, though he thought my computer was winex (bad operating system and software), laughed at my purple parrot (a parrot that's mostly purplish), and that I'm too anal (place is too clean). So we laid some bricks, he lifted my shirt (to get the bug[ger] off), played with my jazzcasket (place I put my jazz albums), and we decided to trade some fur, have a looli[pop], and have a slap and tickle (?). I was so chapped afterwards I poinked him right in his mohair with a squirrel I named Camille Lovelace. Look it up. That was actually pretty offensive. Kinda surprised I didn't get bleeped.



Seriously though, my younger Sis does that, says gay when she means bad. Drives me nuts, though admittedly mostly because it's grammatically incorrect. Gay means happy, keep trying to tell her that, doesn't make sense the way she puts it. Plus, she's a model (no, you can't see her pics, you perverts), so if she uses it around the wrong people, she's going to wind up with messed up hair and/or makeup.

(I am so gonna get letters about that last part, aren't I)

[blackfox]

This thread is pretty weird to me.

First of all, I have no idea what "no homo" is supposed to mean. Is it a retort of some kind? Isn't there supposed to be a comma?...

As for "that's so gay" - I haven't heard that phrase for over a decade - and even then, I wasn't generally a fan of those who chose to employ the phrase to begin with.

While I am admittedly not gay, and perhaps not able to empathize - I tend to think that the person using these phrases insults him/herself more than the intended receiver.

[solvs]

Oh- and if words are just words, then why aren't you calling people "f**s"?
I was trying to think up a joke about bundles of sticks and cigarettes, but nothing's coming. I don't know, something about fire, or flames. Fantastic Four, Fantastic Four... nope, I got nothing. Sorry.

Also still have no idea what "no homo" means. I mean, is it like "no fat chicks"? Cuz, I kinda like fat chicks. I call them Rubenesque.

[arkitect]

Such as (if I were British): that queer (weird) tosser (*idiom, in context) gave me a fag (cigarette) and I was so gay (happy) I tossed his salad (made him a healthy lunch) covered with some gaysauce (tasty liquid, in this case salad dressing). He was tekish, though he thought my computer was winex (bad operating system and software), laughed at my purple parrot (a parrot that's mostly purplish), and that I'm too anal (place is too clean). So he lifted my shirt (to get the bug[ger] off), played with my jazzcasket (place I put my jazz albums), and we decided to trade some fur, have a looli[pop], and have a slap and tickle (?). I was so chapped afterwards I poinked him right in his mohair with a squirrel I named Camille Lovelace.

How bona to vada your eek…

[uberamd]

If my math is correct, currently about 73% of those that voted believe it is ok to use at least one of those phrases in conversation. Yet a majority of posts I see here are saying not to use it, so clearly those that think it is ok to use are a silent majority.

This is an interesting thread because we get a lot of insight from the homosexual community. And since I don't want to create a new thread, I am going to ask here. Why do so many homosexual males I come across at coffee shops, on my college campus, etc have high voices? Just curious, it never made sense to me.

[leekohler]

If my math is correct, currently about 73% of those that voted believe it is ok to use at least one of those phrases in conversation. Yet a majority of posts I see here are saying not to use it, so clearly those that think it is ok to use are a silent majority.

This is an interesting thread because we get a lot of insight from the homosexual community. And since I don't want to create a new thread, I am going to ask here. Why do so many homosexual males I come across at coffee shops, on my college campus, etc have high voices? Just curious, it never made sense to me.

Those are the ones you can easily recognize. The other ones, you can't pick out so easily. Plus, you're stereotyping. High voices mean nothing.

For example, I'm gay and my brother is straight. I lift weights, am athletic and have a baritone, somewhat raspy voice. My brother is skinny and has a tenor voice and sings in a choir with an orchestra in his spare time. People who've never met us, but have been told that one of us is gay, always assume my brother is the gay one when they finally do meet us. This happens a lot. You shouldn't make assumptions based on someone's manner.

[uberamd]

Those are the ones you can easily recognize. The other ones, you can't pick out so easily. Plus, you're stereotyping. High voices mean nothing.

For example, I'm gay and my brother is straight. I lift weights, am athletic and have a baritone, somewhat raspy voice. My brother is skinny and has a tenor voice and sings in a choir with an orchestra in his spare time. People who've never met us, but have been told that one of us is gay, always assume my brother is the gay one when they finally do meet us. This happens a lot. You shouldn't make assumptions based on someone's manner.

Perhaps you should quit being so quick to jump on everyones back and re-read my post. I know these people are gay. They have told me (in classes during the introduce yourself time on the first day), or my friends know them. I am not stereotyping, I know for a fact that they are gay and I want to know why they have a high voice. It sounds unnatural, and its not like its a 1 time thing, I have come across it a lot so its not just a fluke, there must be a reason. Would you settle down already and quit assuming the worst in everyone?

[leekohler]

Perhaps you should quit being so quick to jump on everyones back and re-read my post. I know these people are gay. They have told me (in classes during the introduce yourself time on the first day), or my friends know them. I am not stereotyping, I know for a fact that they are gay and I want to know why they have a high voice. It sounds unnatural, and its not like its a 1 time thing, I have come across it a lot so its not just a fluke, there must be a reason. Would you settle down already and quit assuming the worst in everyone?

First of all, I wasn't jumping on your back. I thought I was merely explaining the situation. The gay men you're referring to are the ones who are readily visible. The other ones you don't notice because, well, they act just like every other guy. Neither person is a majority in the gay community, believe me. It's simply that you are only able to pick out these guys more easily. They're more open about it.

[uberamd]

First of all, I wasn't jumping on your back. I thought I was merely explaining the situation. The gay men you're referring to are the ones who are readily visible. The other ones you don't notice because, well, they act just like every other guy. Neither person is a majority in the gay community, believe me. It's simply that you are only able to pick out these guys more easily. They're more open about it.

So then they force their voice to be like that to identify as being gay?

[leekohler]

So then they force their voice to be like that to identify as being gay?

No- I think it's just the way they are. It's part of their personalities. Hey- I've made the same mistake. I've assumed several straight guys were gay because well, they "act" gay. For example, I have a really difficult time when I'm in LA figuring out who is and who isn't. All the guys seem gay out there, but they most certainly aren't. I found out the hard way a few times.

Oh- and I think think effeminate guys are just as attractive as any other guy. Ain't nothin' wrong with a nelly queen. :)

[Badandy]

For example, I have a really difficult time when I'm in LA figuring out who is and who isn't.

Thanks, Lee.

<-----;)
(Pretend I listed my location as Los Angeles, which it is, under my join date. The arrow then makes sense.)



uberamd: He wasn't jumping on your back, it was a normal response that wasn't harsh in the slightest. What's wrong?

[arkitect]

Why do so many homosexual males I come across at coffee shops, on my college campus, etc have high voices?

I guess anyone in the US who doesn't sound like Don LaFontaine must be suspect.

:rolleyes:

[leekohler]

Thanks, Lee.

<-----;)
(Pretend I listed my location as Los Angeles, which it is, under my join date. The arrow then makes sense.)

Haha! Well- I'm serious! My gaydar goes haywire when I'm out there. I can't tell who's what. :)



uberamd: He wasn't jumping on your back, it was a normal response that wasn't harsh in the slightest. What's wrong?

That's what I thought. I didn't think I was being harsh at all. He asked a question and I tried to answer it the best I could.

[uberamd]

I guess anyone in the US who doesn't sound like Don LaFontaine must be suspect.

:rolleyes:

No, thats not the case. But again I find it very hard to believe that high pitched voice is natural.

And lee, you said I was stereotyping and just making assumptions, which I wasn't. You were making assumptions about me.

[Rt&Dzine]

It's all just light sophomoric humor to my mind.


A lot of you are in high school and it's the trendy thing to say "that's so gay" and call people retards. But it's creepy when adults use those terms.

[leekohler]

No, thats not the case. But again I find it very hard to believe that high pitched voice is natural.

And lee, you said I was stereotyping and just making assumptions, which I wasn't. You were making assumptions about me.

Did you, or did you not say this?

Why do so many homosexual males I come across at coffee shops, on my college campus, etc have high voices?

And I simply explained to you that the reason for that is because those guys are easy to spot. You come across plenty more gay guys who you don't recognize as gay, because they aren't as easy to spot and don't tell you. So, you are indeed stereotyping gay men as having high voices, simply based on your own personal experience. "Stereotype" doesn't mean I'm calling you a bigot.

A similar comparable question would be, "Why do so many African Americans talk ghetto?" Does that make sense?

[uberamd]

A similar comparable question would be, "Why do so many African Americans talk ghetto?" Does that make sense?

Trust me, thats on my list of things to figure out before I die. Its right up there with "Why do some guys think insanely tight jeans are good looking?" and "Why do people buy the ugly Scion XB (http://needwanthave.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/newscion.jpg)?". :)

[leekohler]

Trust me, thats on my list of things to figure out before I die. Its right up there with "Why do some guys think insanely tight jeans are good looking?" and "Why do people buy the ugly Scion XB (http://needwanthave.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/newscion.jpg)?". :)

So is it more clear now? ;)

A lot of you are in high school and it's the trendy thing to say "that's so gay" and call people retards. But it's creepy when adults use those terms.

It most certainly is.

[uberamd]

It most certainly is.

Unless the person who says it has a mullet. The mullet excuses all bad behavior.

[leekohler]

Unless the person who says it has a mullet. The mullet excuses all bad behavior.

Well- we also make certain assumptions about the intelligence of the person with the mullet. ;)

[bobber205]

If my math is correct, currently about 73% of those that voted believe it is ok to use at least one of those phrases in conversation. Yet a majority of posts I see here are saying not to use it, so clearly those that think it is ok to use are a silent majority.

This is an interesting thread because we get a lot of insight from the homosexual community. And since I don't want to create a new thread, I am going to ask here. Why do so many homosexual males I come across at coffee shops, on my college campus, etc have high voices? Just curious, it never made sense to me.


This thread is gay.

;)

[cocky jeremy]

Would you say the N word in front of a black person you didn't know (assuming you are not black)? Would you say "that's gay" in front of someone who you know is gay but don't know on a personal level? Would you say "that's retarded" in front of someone who is actually mentally retarded?

Yeah, why not? It what I'm saying doesn't have anything to do with actually being gay, or retarded or black.. what does it hurt? The best way to make these words mean less, is to use them in ways unrelated to how they're normally used. If everyone starts using "n-----" in ways that are totally unrelated to being black, it takes away from the racist meaning behind it. People are ALWAYS going to use these words.. so just work at making them mean something less offensive, and it's working for the good.

[Zombie Acorn]

Did you, or did you not say this?



And I simply explained to you that the reason for that is because those guys are easy to spot. You come across plenty more gay guys who you don't recognize as gay, because they aren't as easy to spot and don't tell you. So, you are indeed stereotyping gay men as having high voices, simply based on your own personal experience. "Stereotype" doesn't mean I'm calling you a bigot.

A similar comparable question would be, "Why do so many African Americans talk ghetto?" Does that make sense?

Why do some gay people change their voices when they "come out"?

[LizKat]

Yeah, why not? It what I'm saying doesn't have anything to do with actually being gay, or retarded or black.. what does it hurt? The best way to make these words mean less, is to use them in ways unrelated to how they're normally used. If everyone starts using "n-----" in ways that are totally unrelated to being black, it takes away from the racist meaning behind it. People are ALWAYS going to use these words.. so just work at making them mean something less offensive, and it's working for the good.

No sale. What you are saying reminds me a whole lot of the philosophy of Squealer in "Animal Farm."

[bruinsrme]

A similar comparable question would be, "Why do so many African Americans talk ghetto?" Does that make sense?

No since ghetto is refering to a dialect.

[Zombie Acorn]

Yeah, why not? It what I'm saying doesn't have anything to do with actually being gay, or retarded or black.. what does it hurt? The best way to make these words mean less, is to use them in ways unrelated to how they're normally used. If everyone starts using "n-----" in ways that are totally unrelated to being black, it takes away from the racist meaning behind it. People are ALWAYS going to use these words.. so just work at making them mean something less offensive, and it's working for the good.

Have you ever seen clerks 2?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6OselVRTsM (Has some harsh language.)

This clip reminds me of this thread so much :p

[Badandy]

Yeah, why not? It what I'm saying doesn't have anything to do with actually being gay, or retarded or black.. what does it hurt? The best way to make these words mean less, is to use them in ways unrelated to how they're normally used. If everyone starts using "n-----" in ways that are totally unrelated to being black, it takes away from the racist meaning behind it. People are ALWAYS going to use these words.. so just work at making them mean something less offensive, and it's working for the good.

No dice. There is no way you would say the N word to a black person you're not acquainted with. I just don't believe it.

[brad.c]

Obviously some people doubt the power of words to hurt, at least, when it comes to the feelings of another person.

Before using a potentially offensive word or phrase, ask yourself the question: what if the person who may be offended was larger than you, armed and irritable? If you have the slightest hesitation over the risk to your own skin, then maybe you should rethink what you were going to say.

[leekohler]

Why do some gay people change their voices when they "come out"?

Oh please. I don't know of anyone who's done that. If you do, maybe they're just trying to fit in with a particular group of gay people. Why does it matter to you anyway? Does it scare you? Does it offend you? :confused:

No since ghetto is refering to a dialect.

Really? It's only confined to one particular area of the country? Since when?

[uberamd]

Oh please. I don't know of anyone who's done that. If you do, maybe they're just trying to fit in with a particular group of gay people. Why does it matter to you anyway? Does it scare you? Does it offend you? :confused:


First of all, you seem to keep denying that at least a percentage of the gay community has higher, more feminine sounding voices. I know I am not the only one who has witnessed this, and it doesn't sound natural. People are curious as to why they do this.

Curiosity doesn't mean we are scared, or offended. It matters no differently than if someone asked "why is the sky blue?" or "how does a computer work?" We want to know, and it has nothing to do with anything you mentioned, it is simply trying to get informed.

[opinioncircle]

I voted for "they're both fine" and I think this poll actually reflects what type of society we're living in.
I understand civil rights movements and all but people should just lighten up a little bit. Even though it isn't about sexuality, at work every time we're told that we're doing this or that well enough, the manager says "no offense"...Are you kidding me? Time to lighten up and accept what/who you do/are...
I don't believe it is insecurity or even homophobic to say these things...

[Unspoken Demise]

That's so gay. I can't believe this thread is still alive. No homo.

[Rt&Dzine]

First of all, you seem to keep denying that at least a percentage of the gay community has higher, more feminine sounding voices. I know I am not the only one who has witnessed this, and it doesn't sound natural. People are curious as to why they do this.

Curiosity doesn't mean we are scared, or offended. It matters no differently than if someone asked "why is the sky blue?" or "how does a computer work?" We want to know, and it has nothing to do with anything you mentioned, it is simply trying to get informed.

If you're so curious and it's not offensive, then why don't you ask them face-to-face when you hear their high pitched voices?

[Cleverboy]

A lot of you are in high school and it's the trendy thing to say "that's so gay" and call people retards. But it's creepy when adults use those terms. I'd agree on "so gay" and calling people "retard". I don't think "no homo" is creepy, its just silly... like a 60 year old saying something is "totally radical" or "cool". I could see a lot of people using it scatter shot though. These are the people who heard someone else say it, thought it was funny, and tried to use it themselves to horrible effect.

~ CB

[uberamd]

If you're so curious and it's not offensive, then why don't you ask them face-to-face when you hear their high pitched voices?

Because I would rather not offend *that* person. I am not offended by it, but I don't want to offend anyone who may be sensitive to it.

[leekohler]

First of all, you seem to keep denying that at least a percentage of the gay community has higher, more feminine sounding voices. I know I am not the only one who has witnessed this, and it doesn't sound natural. People are curious as to why they do this.

Umm... excuse me? Where did I deny this? I acknowledged it in my very first response to you. And did you ever stop to think that maybe their voices sound natural to them? If it sounds strange to you, maybe it's you who's judging it as "unnatural".

Curiosity doesn't mean we are scared, or offended. It matters no differently than if someone asked "why is the sky blue?" or "how does a computer work?" We want to know, and it has nothing to do with anything you mentioned, it is simply trying to get informed.

Then ask them yourself, because your accusations of me supposedly denying the existence of "higher, more feminine sounding voices" in the some of the gay community is really starting to p*** me off. I never denied it, but I don't seem to be able to satisfy your curiosity. I've given you every possible explanation I can think of.

Because I would rather not offend *that* person. I am not offended by it, but I don't want to offend anyone who may be sensitive to it.

You seem to be able to ask people here about it without being worried about who you might offend. Why not people you actually know? Why don't you go straight to the horse's mouth?

[michael.lauden]

this form is so gay

[Zombie Acorn]

Oh please. I don't know of anyone who's done that. If you do, maybe they're just trying to fit in with a particular group of gay people. Why does it matter to you anyway? Does it scare you? Does it offend you? :confused:


No, just seems a bit weird. And yes I did know a kid who "came out" during college and then changed his voice. I didn't know if it was a common phenomena or not because a lot (not all) of gay people speak the same way and its not really a regional influenced speak.

[leekohler]

No, just seems a bit weird. And yes I did know a kid who "came out" during college and then changed his voice. I didn't know if it was a common phenomena or not because a lot (not all) of gay people speak the same way and its not really a regional influenced speak.

Well then, ask him. Like I said, I suspect that it was conformity thing for him.

[Zombie Acorn]

Well then, ask him. Like I said, I suspect that it was conformity thing for him.

Probably be offensive to someone who I know actually changed his voice. I figured someone who hadn't would be able to tell.

[leekohler]

Probably be offensive to someone who I know actually changed his voice. I figured someone who hadn't would be able to tell.

Let me see if I have this right- You're not concerned about offending anyone here, but you are in real life? And like I said, I've given every explanation I can think of. If you really want to know, ask him. My explanations don't seem adequate for anyone here.

[Unspoken Demise]

Let me see if I have this right- You're not concerned about offending anyone here, but you are in real life? And like I said, I've given every explanation I can think of. If you really want to know, ask him. My explanations don't seem adequate for anyone here.

You're explanations of gay culture have always been a source of insight and understanding whenever I ask you a question.

:)

[leekohler]

You're explanations of gay culture have always been a source of insight and understanding whenever I ask you a question.

:)

At least they are for somebody. Thanks.

[Badandy]

Well then, ask him. Like I said, I suspect that it was conformity thing for him.

This is correct.

[uberamd]

Let me see if I have this right- You're not concerned about offending anyone here, but you are in real life? And like I said, I've given every explanation I can think of. If you really want to know, ask him. My explanations don't seem adequate for anyone here.

Uh, yeah? This is no different than when people from the GLBT came into one of my classes for a Q and A. We didn't know any of them, but we could ask them anything we wanted. However there was no time to get to this as our class was stuck on asking about lesbians and short hair.

And I didn't feel the answer was adequate because you stated that you know nobody like that, and that it might be to identify with being gay. Well, I am still curious. So why does that identify with being gay? This isn't something they teach you in school, its a topic that is never touched on in normal conversation, etc. But I will stop asking my questions here.

Sorry I p***** you off, but come on lighten up a little. This is a forum, it was early, and I misread a post you made. Why let that get you mad?

[leekohler]

Uh, yeah? This is no different than when people from the GLBT came into one of my classes for a Q and A. We didn't know any of them, but we could ask them anything we wanted. However there was no time to get to this as our class was stuck on asking about lesbians and short hair.

And I didn't feel the answer was adequate because you stated that you know nobody like that, and that it might be to identify with being gay. Well, I am still curious. So why does that identify with being gay? This isn't something they teach you in school, its a topic that is never touched on in normal conversation, etc. But I will stop asking my questions here.

I never said I don't know any effeminate gay men. All I said was that I didn't know someone who completely changed their voice after coming out. The only thing I said after that was in response to Zombie's post about why that may be. Maybe this friend of his got in with a group of effeminate gay men and starting talking like they do. Happens all the time with all kinds of groups of people. And effeminate mannerisms and voices are not exclusive to gay men. There are plenty of straight men who are just as effeminate. I've known plenty of them.

And if you really want your question answered, I suggest you go ask an effeminate gay man. Apparently, you feel my explanations aren't good enough.

Sorry I p***** you off, but come on lighten up a little. This is a forum, it was early, and I misread a post you made. Why let that get you mad?

You didn't just misread a post, you accused me of doing something I most certainly never did. Yeah, that p***es me off.