"That's so gay" and "No homo", what do you think?

[Cleverboy]

I was just making a post centered around the topic of homophobia, and thought it'd be funny to put "no homo" after a comment about how the world needs more hugs. After taking a second to Google it for "political correctness", I was surprised by the notion that anyone takes offense to "no homo". Honestly, I never thought of it as any type of serious attempt by someone not to sound "gay", but a joke on the deeply rooted fear of many heterosexual men on being mistaken for being homosexual (like the comedy routine that has a straight guy wander into a gay bar, only to realize this long after a string of misconstrued encounters).

I knew there'd been a general disdain for people using the term "gay" as meaning "stupid", "goofy", or "weak"... (I've always scowled at people who've used the term "retard" to mean "stupid", but I gave this battle up about 8 years ago.) I still think saying something is "gay" is funny... but usually when I run across it, the people I'm talking to actually mean "That comes across as very effeminate", which I'm thinking is perfectly acceptable (whether that's right or wrong). For instance, my nephew is a little overweight, yet tends to wear very tight pants in an effort to make him look skinny. He's been caught wearing wigs, has a passion for snakes and other things to drape around his neck, and at 19 has sleep overs from time to time with other boys (though to be honest, I believe they're just playing video games and hanging out). From time to time, a number of behaviors converge, and someone says, "Dude, that's so gay." He doesn't seem to mind, though it tends to take a "come on, admit it" tone than anything else.

At any rate, I read this article (http://gayteens.about.com/od/safetytips/a/no_homo.htm), and it struck me how different people, groups, societies, cultures will take things differently. So, I thought I'd ask the people on this board... "So gay" and "No Homo"... ok, not ok, depends... where do you fall?

It is just so amazing to me that a guy would be so afraid of associating himself with anything that could cast a shadow of doubt on his sexuality, that he would qualify the most innocuous phases with a disclaimer.

Aside from the obvious homophobia implicit in a no homo, the main thing that phrase says to me is that the person using it is so ill at ease with himself and his place in the world, that he needs to constantly prove his heterosexuality.

When I told my brother that in addition to the phrase, that's so gay, I had been hearing, no homo, he said, "Whoa, that one hasn't made it to my school yet." After reading this article, all I could think personally was that the writer (and perhaps the people in the class) were taking "no homo" WAY too seriously. I can't see how anyone who wasn't being self-deprecating would say "no homo" as any form of "serious" defense against being accused of being gay. It's always been an exceedingly ironic statement to me, which I'd say to gay or straight people... kind of in the same way you'd say "that's what she/he said" when you run across something that might be taken as a sexual innuendo. It's all just light sophomoric humor to my mind.

~ CB

[thegoldenmackid]

Not acceptable under any terms. My largest frustration is when someone uses one of the words and you can't figure out what they are saying. With "retard" when people used it out of context it usually means "stupid." Would you ever say "what a n____."

And yes, I report people that say "retard"/"retarded"

[dukebound85]

sorry i have no issue saying

"that's retarded"
or
"that's gay" to be the same meaning as "thats stupid"

sue me

[quagmire]

sorry i have no issue saying

"that's retarded"
or
"that's gay" to be the same meaning as "thats stupid"

sue me

+1

We shouldn't have to worry about offending people when the word is used in a different context then the reason why people get offended for......

[thegoldenmackid]

+1

We shouldn't have to worry about offending people when the word is used in a different context then the reason why people get offended for......

So if iThink the N-Word has a different meaning, it becomes okay?

[dukebound85]

So if iThink the N-Word has a different meaning, it becomes okay?

its all about the context in which words are used

comedians use the n word all the time. people make catholic jokes all the time

the only reason people should get all offended is if the words are being used in a ill manner. everyone should be able to understand the context of how the words are used and be able to deal with it accordingly

thats my opinion and i know you disagree. however, your opinion will not stop my behavior and i really don't intend to change it either

i hate all political correctness

[thegoldenmackid]

iThink jokes about Catholics and the n-word are slightly different. I don't mind gay jokes, but "that's so gay" is worthless at best, offensive most the time.

[dukebound85]

iThink jokes about Catholics and the n-word are slightly different. I don't mind gay jokes, but "that's so gay" is worthless at best, offensive most the time.

you think jokes about a specific group are less offensive than using a word that is clearly being used in a context that isnt aimed at gay people?

gay even has different definitions. a joke of catholics doesnt have that same luxery in a sense

i would think it would be flip flopped

[thegoldenmackid]

you think jokes about a specific group are less offensive than using a word that is clearly being used in a context that isnt aimed at gay people?

gay even has different definitions. a joke of catholics doesnt have that same luxery in a sense

i would think it would be flip flopped

iThink jokes are in context. I mean imagine if your segment of the population has become synonymous with the general public as "stupid" or "uncool"?

[Cleverboy]

comedians use the n word all the time. people make catholic jokes all the time
the only reason people should get all offended is if the words are being used in a ill manner. everyone should be able to understand the context of how the words are used and be able to deal with it accordingly That's funny. Reminds me of a recent news article, and an incident that happened to me. First, the news article:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/20/carolyn-maloney-uses-n-wo_n_241333.html
"I apologize for having repeated a word I find disgusting," Maloney said in a statement.

"It's no excuse but I was so caught up in relaying the story exactly as it was told to me that, in doing so, I repeated a word that should never be repeated," she said. A similar incident happened with my wife and I recently. We're both black, and we were having a house inspected by a referral from our buying agent. Both our buying agent was there (buzzing around on the phone), and the inspector was talking to us about the various things wrong with the property. As he's talking, he suddenly relates an anecdote about a black guy he knew, and in repeating what someone ELSE said, he used the N-word. Our buying agent, who is a realestate attorney, immediately became bothered and said he had to excuse himself. My wife and I were thinking "no biggie", as we could see it in the context of the inspectors' story. Afterwards, the buying agent apologized to us, and said he will likely not use the inspector again. --I thought it was interesting, I wasn't offended (it WAS a "quote" afterall, to a relevant story)... but part of me DID think it was a bit inappropriate, and could have EASILY offended people who'd had more history with the word. --For instance, with my mother. She grew up in the south and has spent her life moving past racial divisions (to this day, she can't watch Amistad without crying).

That said, I still think "no homo" and "so gay" is a completely different category than using the "n-word" or for that matter, other expletives, like calling someone a "f-ck face" or "f-ggot" or any other type of toxic waste. It doesn't MATTER how you use these words, they're toxic waste. "No homo" is short for "I'm not homosexual", and "so gay" isn't using verbotin words, its just using them out of context. I'm left simply wondering where the public consciousness is on it. It's VERY much like calling something retarded. It's a dictonary word afterall, people are just creating a new meaning in a namespace people are sensitive about (whose words can be easily and non-offensively be used in other contexts).

"No homo" to me, is like watching an episode of the Ambiguously Gay Duo (http://video.yahoo.com/watch/148996/953155). It's so over the top ridiculous, it CAN be funny... or just irksome depending on your threshold for absurdity.

~ CB

[thegoldenmackid]

You cannot draw lines. The n-word has to be as worse as f-g. If a white boy from the suburbs like me went around calling my non-black friends, "dumb negroes," it would not go over well...

[Malfoy]

sorry i have no issue saying

"that's retarded"
or
"that's gay" to be the same meaning as "thats stupid"

sue me

+1

context is key.

[obeygiant]

You cannot draw lines. The n-word has to be as worse as f-g. If a white boy from the suburbs like me went around calling my non-black friends, "dumb negroes," it would not go over well...

If you or your friend went around calling your gay friends "dumb negroes" I'd say he's..well...retarded. :D :)

[thegoldenmackid]

If you or your friend went around calling your gay friends "dumb negroes" I'd say he's..well...retarded. :D :)

Thanks. I actually smiled. But...the maturiy of MacRumors.



I understand, "I want to say what I want, it's not fair black people get the n-word..." I also understand, "context is key." I disagree with both, but, could someone enlighten me on: "No homo" is fine, "So gay" is wrong and homophobic"

[Malfoy]

You cannot draw lines. The n-word has to be as worse as f-g. If a white boy from the suburbs like me went around calling my non-black friends, "dumb negroes," it would not go over well...

but people can draw lines and they do. I'm black and can count the number of black friends I have on one hand. I live in the suburbs and most of my white friends do as well. They say 'n!gga please' and whatnot to each other and me all the time and nothing is thought of it. Now if you were to walk up to me and say 'I hate you n***r and your kind' we are probably going to have an issue.

[thegoldenmackid]

but people can draw lines and they do. I'm black and can count the number of black friends I have on one hand. I live in the suburbs and most of my white friends do as well. They say 'n!gga please' and whatnot to each other and me all the time and nothing is thought of it. Now if you were to walk up to me and say 'I hate you n***r and your kind' we are probably going to have an issue.

My point was to universal lines. If people are comfortable with calling each other then that in private that is one thing. But I doubt that your friends would like to go to Random City USA and say "n. please"

[Zombie Acorn]

One guy we used to hang around with at the bars used to say "thats gay", he was gay.

[rhsgolfer33]

I try not to use them, but a "that's so retarded" or "that's so gay" slip out sometimes. Its not intended to be derogatory and I don't really give a second thought about it, but its not as if I use the phrases commonly. I have more choice words than "retarded" or "gay" that I use when I'm angry or jesting at a friend.

[thegoldenmackid]

One guy we used to hang around with at the bars used to say "thats gay", he was gay.

Oddly black people use the n-word, so are they...?

[Malfoy]

Oddly black people use the n-word, so are they...?

I'm sure there is sarcasm there but I'm not sure how to make a sarcastic remark that acknowledges the sarcasm. :(

[dukebound85]

its all about the context

really


words are merely sounds we make lol

its the meaning behind the words that matter and that meaning is HIGHLY dependent on the scenario

[Zombie Acorn]

Oddly black people use the n-word, so are they...?

Gay isn't a derogatory name, in fact its the name widely accepted in the gay population. "Thats gay" isn't even referencing gay people anyways, just as "thats retarded" has nothing to do with retarded people.

When I say "****" I am not talking about fecal matter, when I say "****" I am not referencing intercourse.

[.Andy]

Gay isn't a derogatory name, in fact its the name widely accepted in the gay population. "Thats gay" isn't even referencing gay people anyways, just as "thats retarded" has nothing to do with retarded people.
But the etymology of both when using them in the context of this thread is most certainly derogatory. The phrases using "gay" or "retarded" as derogatory terms arose because being gay and retarded were seen as negatives. Although they might mean something different to you now.

[leekohler]

One guy we used to hang around with at the bars used to say "thats gay", he was gay.

That's funny. I'm gay and live in a big city with a huge gay population. Not one gay person I know would ever say that. When we hear straight people say it, we correct them.

When anyone says, "That's so gay", I say "Why, does it want to ******* me?" I don't care if it's someone in my office, that's what I say. That usually shuts them up. You offend me, I'll offend you right back. Turnabout's fair play, and you can expect it from me.

But the etymology of both when using them in the context of this thread is most certainly derogatory. The phrases using "gay" or "retarded" as derogatory terms arose because being gay and retarded were seen as negatives. That is how they arose. They might mean something different to you now.

Yeah- that reminds me of fools who used to say idiotic crap like, "But "n***er" can mean white trash." Uh-huh, right. :rolleyes:

[Shotgun OS]

I think both phrases are perfectly fine, and I have used "That's gay" many times. Yet, I think both phrases are lame and have about zero substance in them, so I don't know how I still say the phrase (once in a while.) I'm also one to think that there are no bad words or phrases; maybe I watch too much George Carlin.

[thegoldenmackid]

Gay isn't a derogatory name, in fact its the name widely accepted in the gay population. "Thats gay" isn't even referencing gay people anyways, just as "thats retarded" has nothing to do with retarded people.

When I say "****" I am not talking about fecal matter, when I say "****" I am not referencing intercourse.

Dont worry though, f-g was never meant to be offensive...

[leekohler]

Dont worry though, f-g was never meant to be offensive...

That's the one that'll get you kicked in the teeth from me. :mad:

[Ntombi]

Both phrases are completely unacceptable to me. As is retarded. I hate all of it. It's offensive to me, and I automatically label those who use it as ignorant or immature, or both.

I don't use "the 'n' word" either, nor do any of my friends (yes, I'm black). I have more non-black friends than black, but I wouldn't accept the usage of that word from any of them, context be damned.

[dmr727]

It's a pretty simple matter for me to control what language I use. It's not nearly as simple to control whether or not you're offended by it. Since I'm not in the business of offending or hurting people, I really don't consider it that much of a problem to change the words I use so not to offend.

[thegoldenmackid]

That's the one that'll get you kicked in the teeth from me. :mad:

Don't worry. I would only call you the n-word, as I feel there is another meaning. And Lee, since I have pointed out the obvious sarcasm, it's become socially acceptable given the context.

[hulugu]

..."Thats gay" isn't even referencing gay people anyways, just as "thats retarded" has nothing to do with retarded people.

When I say "****" I am not talking about fecal matter, when I say "****" I am not referencing intercourse.

So, what does "that's gay" mean if it's not referencing gay people? Are you trying to say that something is happy or showy? I don't buy your argument. Just as retarded means to be stupid or "delayed in progress" both are derogatory terms that were originally used the demean people. There's a great deal of talk of "retaking" words, but unlike someone who might use "n*****" or "*********" as a measure of pride or irony, you are doing neither by continuing to use the words as synonyms for ridiculous or stupid.

Furthermore, you're incorrect about both the uses of "s***" and "*******" Both words are offensive (and useful) because of their connection to feces and sexual intercourse.


But the etymology of both when using them in the context of this thread is most certainly derogatory. The phrases using "gay" or "retarded" as derogatory terms arose because being gay and retarded were seen as negatives. Although they might mean something different to you now.

Exactly. It's possible that over time the usage of both "gay" and "retarded" could become positive, but in most contexts, the words continue to be used as derogatory terms.

[Malfoy]

Do any females(or guys) in this thread who are offended by the orginal statements take offense if they hear a guy tell another guy:


You <insert some verb> like a girl?

or some variation that involves calling a man a woman in some way? I'm asking because the point of the saying is the same.

[Ntombi]

Do any females(or guys) in this thread who are offended by the orginal statements take offense if they hear a guy tell another guy:


You <insert some verb> like a girl?

or some variation that involves calling a man a woman in some way? I'm asking because the point of the saying is the same.

Yep and yep.

I'm not necessarily offended, but I definitely roll my eyes and challenge the statement, just like I do when I hear gay, retarded, etc.

[thegoldenmackid]

Do any females(or guys) in this thread who are offended by the orginal statements take offense if they hear a guy tell another guy:


You <insert some verb> like a girl?

or some variation that involves calling a man a woman in some way? I'm asking because the point of the saying is the same.

Not the nicest thing in the world, there are some double-standards though...

[mgguy]

It's curious that some words considered offensive here are spelled out in their entirety while others get bleeped out by use of asterisks or other means. Does that mean that the bleeped ones are considered more offensive? Why can't we just write the whole word out whatever it is? Playing these word censorship games just give the words more power to offend when they are used.

[hulugu]

Do any females(or guys) in this thread who are offended by the orginal statements take offense if they hear a guy tell another guy:


You <insert some verb> like a girl?

or some variation that involves calling a man a woman in some way? I'm asking because the point of the saying is the same.

I should.

Of course, I can also tell you about an incident in which something like that was said in front of a pitcher for the girl's softball team who took offense. She promptly struck out the mouthy guy, not once, not twice, but four times in a row.

Instead, we used the term "broke-winged duck" to describe someone who couldn't throw a ball.

I understand that each usage is somewhat ingrained, but each of us has to recognize that these statements are derogatory. If I coached a team and when someone failed, I'd tell them to quit being such a Malfoy I would be doing the same thing.

It's curious that some words considered offensive here are spelled out in their entirety while others get bleeped out by use of asterisks or other means. Does that mean that the bleeped ones are considered more offensive? Why can't we just write the whole word out whatever it is? Playing these word censorship games just give the words more power to offend when they are used.

It was my understanding that MR filters certain words. I tend to agree with you, but I also don't want our MR discussion to end up in a Google search for n****** or some such.

[brad.c]

Using any group of people as an adjective—be it gay, mentally handicapped, or an ethnic label, is stereotyping. And when is that ever a good idea?

And to believe it is "okay" when self-referencing is a deception. I am white, and am not the best dancer. But if I say my sub-par moves are the result of my race is not only perpetuating a false stereotype, it is also validating that stereotype as ammunition for the use of others too.

[thegoldenmackid]

Using any group of people as an adjective—be it gay, mentally handicapped, or an ethnic label, is stereotyping. And when is that ever a good idea?
I'm lost how the "gay" names are stereotyping. It seems like most of the time when using the word "gay" it's meant to replace "stupid." Clearly, homosexuals are not stupid?

It's curious that some words considered offensive here are spelled out in their entirety while others get bleeped out by use of asterisks or other means. Does that mean that the bleeped ones are considered more offensive? Why can't we just write the whole word out whatever it is? Playing these word censorship games just give the words more power to offend when they are used.

I bleeped out some of my words. Mainly the n-word and the f-word that is a derogatory name for homosexuals. The reason why I bleeped out those is because to me they have solely one meaning, a derogatory one. Words like gay and retarded have other meanings then their offensive ones. The latter means to progress backwards amongst other things. I understand that sort of supports the context argument, but it seems a little different, just a tad.

[hulugu]

I'm lost how the "gay" names are stereotyping. It seems like most of the time when using the word "gay" it's meant to replace "stupid." Clearly, homosexuals are not stupid?

Well, I've heard—and, much to my chagrin, used before I knew any better—the term 'gay' used as a synonym for any number of insults, including stupid.

The word was a replacement for silly, ridiculous, unmanly, stupid, etc.

Of course, it's not true for homosexuals, but the attitude remains in the same way that the usage of ethnic slurs does. It seeks to separate one group and then use that as group as a whipping boy for every negative association.

[spaceboots06]

People might not like saying that something is gay, but really, is that person/thing really gay? It's just another word for stupid. Are gay people stupid? Just as much as heterosexual people. Would I be offended if someone said something was so hetero? Not at all. Mainly because I identify myself as a white male, not a white straight male. A gay man might get offended if he identifies himself as a white gay male. BFD.

[thegoldenmackid]

People might not like saying that something is gay, but really, is that person/thing really gay? It's just another word for stupid. Are gay people stupid? Just as much as heterosexual people. Would I be offended if someone said something was so hetero? Not at all.

Since when does "gay" equate to stupid? How did that come about. If I went around saying "that's so Mexican" eyebrows would be raised. I fail to see why it is acceptable to associate the homosexual and mentally challenged communities with negative things.

Well, I've heard—and, much to my chagrin, used before I knew any better—the term 'gay' used as a synonym for any number of insults, including stupid.

The word was a replacement for silly, ridiculous, unmanly, stupid, etc.

Of course, it's not true for homosexuals, but the attitude remains in the same way that the usage of ethnic slurs does. It seeks to separate one group and then use that as group as a whipping boy for every negative association.

The problem I have is still, when you cannot describe what you mean and you just say "that's so gay."

For those that say it's all about context, is the following okay. After all, she is just quoting someone else.

New York Rep. Carolyn Maloney, a Democrat, apologized Monday for using the N word in a recent interview while recounting a phone call she had received.

"I apologize for having repeated a word I find disgusting," Maloney said in a statement. "It's no excuse but I was so caught up in relaying the story exactly as it was told to me that, in doing so, I repeated a word that should never be repeated."

Maloney, who is challenging Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand for the 2010 Democratic Senate nomination in New York, used the full racial slur in an interview with the Web site City Hall while taking aim at Gillibrand's record.

"I got a call from someone from Puerto Rico, said [Gillibrand] went to Puerto Rico and came out for English-only [education]. And he said, 'It was like saying n—r to a Puerto Rican,'" Maloney said. "I don't know-I don't know if that's true or not. I just called. I'm just throwing that out. All of her-well, what does she stand for?"

[spaceboots06]

Since when does "gay" equate to stupid? How did that come about. If I went around saying "that's so Mexican" eyebrows would be raised. I fail to see why it is acceptable to associate the homosexual and mentally challenged communities with negative things.

Read below.

Well, I've heard—and, much to my chagrin, used before I knew any better—the term 'gay' used as a synonym for any number of insults, including stupid.

The word was a replacement for silly, ridiculous, unmanly, stupid, etc.

Of course, it's not true for homosexuals, but the attitude remains in the same way that the usage of ethnic slurs does. It seeks to separate one group and then use that as group as a whipping boy for every negative association.

You're very quick to get on my ass about stuff.

[hulugu]

People might not like saying that something is gay, but really, is that person/thing really gay? It's just another word for stupid. Are gay people stupid? Just as much as heterosexual people. Would I be offended if someone said something was so hetero? Not at all. Mainly because I identify myself as a white male, not a white straight male. A gay man might get offended if he identifies himself as a white gay male. Whatever.

Having grown up in Tucson, I can tell you that "white boy" was a synonym for weak and unmanly, and that redheads were given special attention for being freakish and therefore defective. People will always find a way, the point is to not do it.

You're very quick to get on my ass about stuff.

I'm...sorry?

Actually, I've quoted several people, including yourself, so I don't quite understand what you're going on about.

I happen to disagree with your posts, so I'm using them as a jumping off point to circumscribe what I think about the issue. It's interesting to me because language is interesting.

[WillJS]

its all about the context in which words are used

comedians use the n word all the time. people make catholic jokes all the time

the only reason people should get all offended is if the words are being used in a ill manner. everyone should be able to understand the context of how the words are used and be able to deal with it accordingly

thats my opinion and i know you disagree. however, your opinion will not stop my behavior and i really don't intend to change it either

i hate all political correctness

I agree. I say both of those sayings regularly.. I don't mean any ill mannered feelings towards any demographic when doing so. It's just a way to vent my opinion on something.

[thegoldenmackid]

Read below.

That does not explain why "that's so Mexican" is not said? I understand the logic of bullying, but why it is okay and socially accepted befuddles my inferior left-leaning childish brain.

[spaceboots06]

That does not explain why "that's so Mexican" is not said? I understand the logic of bullying, but why it is okay and socially accepted befuddles my inferior left-leaning childish brain.

Because it's been used by teenagers for years and has grown on them. Consider it a slang term. "That's so Mexican" is not a slang term, so it's not used.

Also, if calling someone/something gay was socially accepted I would be able to say it at work. Last time I checked I wasn't.

[thegoldenmackid]

Because it's been used by teenagers for years and has grown on them. Consider it a slang term. "That's so Mexican" is not a slang term, so it's not used.

But if teenagers asks Daddy for an iPhone that doesn't go ever well. So the excuse is now, because a kid did it, it's okay? And, I don't get the sense that the users that are defending its use are all teenagers...?

[spaceboots06]

But if teenagers asks Daddy for an iPhone that doesn't go ever well. So the excuse is now, because a kid did it, it's okay? And, I don't get the sense that the users that are defending its use are all teenagers...?

1.) What kind of comparison is that? It's hard to understand.

2.) I never said it was okay. I didn't even say it was socially acceptable.

3.) I haven't met a grown adult who uses the phrase.

[thegoldenmackid]

1.) What kind of comparison is that? It's hard to understand.

2.) I never said it was okay. I didn't even say it was socially acceptable.

3.) I haven't met a grown adult who uses the phrase.
My point was that using teenagers to justify something is not exactly a common thing. It seems rather immature, most the time, actions of teenagers as a whole, especially negative ones (someone wants to explain why this is a positive, I'll listen), are frowned upon. Teenagers are constantly made fun of for being immature, naive and selfish. All of those characteristics could be used to describe what saying some derogatory terms are like.

3.) I haven't met a grown adult who uses the phrase.
And I'm a teenager on the other side of the fence.

[spaceboots06]

Interesting watch, NSFW.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6alOnuN-wCY

My point was that using teenagers to justify something is not exactly a common thing. It seems rather immature, most the time, actions of teenagers as a whole, especially negative ones (someone wants to explain why this is a positive, I'll listen), are frowned upon. Teenagers are constantly made fun of for being immature, naive and selfish. All of those characteristics could be used to describe what saying some derogatory terms are like.


And I'm a teenager on the other side of the fence.

Teenagers are immature. That's why their teenagers; it's part of growing up. There's probably a cut off age where someone stops using this term and realizes it's not appropriate and could be hurtful. My guess would be anywhere from 15 to 19 depending on how respectable of a person he/she is. That's really all there is to it.

Yes, it's not okay.

Yes, people use the term frequently.

Yes, people should stop using the term.

[thegoldenmackid]

In an effort to try to not divert from the topic, I will some up my thoughts and let someone else argue. It saddens me that rather then trying to change internally we look to justify what we do. No one needs the words "gay" or "retarded" to act as synonyms for "uncool" or "stupid" to function. No one needs the latter words at all. Why one can't challenge themselves to change is beyond me. It does not make you a better person because you might offender others, it surely doesn't make you a great person for trying to defend it. Context, humor and normality are all just excuses. I understand that it is "how things are," but maybe it's time to just "think different." I'm young and still naive. At thirteen I was using the words just like everyone else I knew, until one day I was called out. One of my peers asked me what it was that made it "homosexual," I realized then I was only making myself look "stupid." I decided to change, it took a month or so before I fully had eradicated words that I heard and saw around me constantly from my vocabulary, but it was for the better. No one will ever look at you less because you didn't call someone a homosexual, in fact, no one will probably notice. But if they do notice that you have changed, I'm not sure how you are going to lose respect.

As to the forums, it's clear this is a contested issue about whether it is correct, but, just like if you ask how we can convince daddy to buy you a new MacBook Pro because your Unibody MacBook is outdated - there are going to be plenty of users that question your maturity.

...but, who am I to judge.

[Prof.]

being gay, I've been called pretty much everything you could call a gay guy. And honestly, 90% of the time, it rolls right off my back. It doesn't offend me all that much when ppl call me a ****** or a cock sucker or anything of the sort. Mainly because... I am. :D

[spaceboots06]

Interesting watch, NSFW.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6alOnuN-wCY



Teenagers are immature. That's why their teenagers; it's part of growing up. There's probably a cut off age where someone stops using this term and realizes it's not appropriate and could be hurtful. My guess would be anywhere from 15 to 19 depending on how respectable of a person he/she is. That's really all there is to it.

Yes, it's not okay.

Yes, people use the term frequently.

Yes, people should stop using the term.

In an effort to try to not divert from the topic, I will some up my thoughts and let someone else argue. It saddens me that rather then trying to change internally we look to justify what we do. No one needs the words "gay" or "retarded" to act as synonyms for "uncool" or "stupid" to function. No one needs the latter words at all. Why one can't challenge themselves to change is beyond me. It does not make you a better person because you might offender others, it surely doesn't make you a great person for trying to defend it. Context, humor and normality are all just excuses. I understand that it is "how things are," but maybe it's time to just "think different." I'm young and still naive. At thirteen I was using the words just like everyone else I knew, until one day I was called out. One of my peers asked me what it was that made it "homosexual," I realized then I was only making myself look "stupid." I decided to change, it took a month or so before I fully had eradicated words that I heard and saw around me constantly from my vocabulary, but it was for the better. No one will ever look at you less because you didn't call someone a homosexual, in fact, no one will probably notice. But if they do notice that you have changed, I'm not sure how you are going to lose respect.

As to the forums, it's clear this is a contested issue about whether it is correct, but, just like if you ask how we can convince daddy to buy you a new MacBook Pro because your Unibody MacBook is outdated - there are going to be plenty of users that question your maturity.

That is honestly just a giant rant. What you wrote is very easy for someone to identify after spending just a short amount of time on this forum. My above post is basically future proof in terms of your future posts.

Here, I'll quote myself.

Yes, it's not okay.

Yes, people use the term frequently.

Yes, people should stop using the term.

That's all there is to it. Quite simple.

[Zombie Acorn]

That's funny. I'm gay and live in a big city with a huge gay population. Not one gay person I know would ever say that. When we hear straight people say it, we correct them.

When anyone says, "That's so gay", I say "Why, does it want to ******* me?" I don't care if it's someone in my office, that's what I say. That usually shuts them up. You offend me, I'll offend you right back. Turnabout's fair play, and you can expect it from me.



Yeah- that reminds me of fools who used to say idiotic crap like, "But "n***er" can mean white trash." Uh-huh, right. :rolleyes:

I grew up in a small city with no gay people, the term was used well before any of us knew what it even meaned in grade school. I know it wasn't intended for actual gay hate though. As for you asking "why does it want to **** me?" I would probably just laugh because it would be unexpected since I don't use the term referencing actual gays.

[iphoneftw]

This Thread is so Gay

[munkees]

This Thread is so Gay

^ funny


I have a five year old daughter, and triplet 2.5 year olds.

I have tried to not use terms like "So gay" or "retarded", so I don't teach them the bad habits. I learned these sayings in the 80's when it was not a problem, per say as it is today, we are much more language aware, and society has changed a lot, is more tolerant of peoples choices.

I don't want my kids to speak bad, grow up offending people when they really are just using terms out of context. Better to talk proper. I have to change myself first, and this is not so easy, I have noticed as I am getting older habits are harder to break.

[Peterkro]

I grew up in a small city with no gay people, the term was used well before any of us knew what it even meaned in grade school. I know it wasn't intended for actual gay hate though. As for you asking "why does it want to **** me?" I would probably just laugh because it would be unexpected since I don't use the term referencing actual gays.

A small city with no gay people, I think not.

[skunk]

I grew up in a small city with no gay peopleWas it in Iran?

[spillproof]

In my partial opinion, "that's so gay" is a gay statement to make if we go by its logic.
The other half of my opinion is that its okay to use. Yes it is spoken mostly by teens as their slang for something stupid. I don't see a real problem in that unless it is being used derogatorily. The original meaning of that term probably was meant to be derogatory, but in the majority of the context I hear it in now (below), I would say its not.

Teacher: I'm sorry, your paper is late. I have to drop it a letter grade.
Student: What? That's gay.

Officer: You kids can't skate here after 9pm
Kid: This is f*ng gay. This gay-ass town is so lame.

"No homo" is said "to rule out the homosexual context of a something said." I actually have never heard anyone say this, I've seen it at captions. Nonetheless, it is homophobic. Why would you need to say that if people already know you are strait?

I good friend of mine always said he was homophobic. Turns out he just said that so people wouldn't think he was gay himself. So now i have to ask, are you afraid of people thinking your gay or are you hiding something? However, it usually isn't the latter.

[Cleverboy]

Oddly black people use the n-word, so are they...?
Honestly, I'm mildly offended by the "black people get the n-word comments". Fine, ignore my posts... just stop asking for people to explain stuff you don't read. For the record, many black people are actively trying to STOP the n-word for everyone. I'd even say the majority. Pop culture's a bitch though. Too many people opted to "reclaim" the word creating confusion for those who like to think everyone with the same skin color thinks alike.

To review: Predictably, SOME black people use the n-word, most still find it offensive no matter who says it, but the younger generation is far more vocal about reclaiming it.

On my earlier point, bringing the n-word to this discussion is related, but falls into a different category of ettiquette. "No homo" and "so gay" aren't offensive as words (by themselves), its about interpretation... hence the interesting poll results (below). They aren't offensive or vulgar words, although they MAY be offensive as idioms that are insensitive (like calling someone a 'retard').

~ CB

[paddy]

Meh, there are so many things that can offend any one of us here for one reason or another I think it's best just to not take the people who utter such 'derogatory' comments so seriously.

[iGary]

Doesn't bother me a bit.

[Cleverboy]

In my partial opinion, "that's so gay" is a gay statement to make if we go by its logic.
The other half of my opinion is that its okay to use. Yes it is spoken mostly by teens as their slang for something stupid. I don't see a real problem in that unless it is being used derogatorily. The original meaning of that term probably was meant to be derogatory, but in the majority of the context I hear it in now (below), I would say its not.

Teacher: I'm sorry, your paper is late. I have to drop it a letter grade.
Student: What? That's gay.

Officer: You kids can't skate here after 9pm
Kid: This is f*ng gay. This gay-ass town is so lame."No homo" is said "to rule out the homosexual context of a something said." I actually have never heard anyone say this, I've seen it at captions. Nonetheless, it is homophobic. Why would you need to say that if people already know you are strait? Mm. I'm still thinking that misses the point, although I might easily be missing the point myself. I've yet to see it used to "rule out the homosexual context of something said". I usually see it as an ironic acknowledgment of the homosexual context of something. You'll usually see someone smile or laugh when they say it. Someone saying "no homo" as an actual "deterent" to anyone (especially those who did not think said instance sounded the least bit suggestive) is counter intuitive. I sware, I could see two long-time male friends hugging each other after an emotional, teary, gut-wrenching moment. They might pull back and one might grin and say "no homo", and the two would burst out laughing.

I don't think the use of "no homo" says anything about a "fear" so much as an intent to be clear about what's going on in someone's head at a potentially awkward moment. I'd even go so far as to say that sometimes there ARE homoerotic feelings that might crop up at the wrong times (as there are heterosexual emotions too). The use of "no homo" does as much to acknowledge that, as it does to dismiss it.

I had a friend once who made a tape for me, telling me that he loved me (like a brother), and that he was sorry for an unfortunate falling out we'd had over something petty. I think in some situations, it IS easy for someone to legitimately get the wrong impression (gay or straight) and dangling a sign so short, crude and dorky like "no homo" on it, sometimes makes it easier for men to relate.

That last time my nephew said, "no homo", my sister-in-law turned back to him, leveled her gaze and quiped, "You know... you can say that all day long, but its really not helping you on the subject. Those clothes are mad gay." and as usual, snickering ensued.

~ CB

[spaceboots06]

Having grown up in Tucson, I can tell you that "white boy" was a synonym for weak and unmanly, and that redheads were given special attention for being freakish and therefore defective. People will always find a way, the point is to not do it.



I'm...sorry?

Actually, I've quoted several people, including yourself, so I don't quite understand what you're going on about.

I happen to disagree with your posts, so I'm using them as a jumping off point to circumscribe what I think about the issue. It's interesting to me because language is interesting.

What I wrote before was directed to the first person I was quoting; sorry for the confusion!

[Dagless]

I've never heard the term "no homo". But I don't see how "that's so gay" could be offensive.

As Mr. Acorn said. If I say ****** I don't mean feces. If I call someone a D**K it doesn't mean they're a large penis (unless they're dressed as one :p). Some people just take things too literally.

[leekohler]

I've never heard the term "no homo". But I don't see how "that's so gay" could be offensive.

Then why does no one ever say, "That's so straight" as an insult? Think about that for a moment, and maybe the reason "That's so gay" is offensive will come to you.

[Shivetya]

I picked the last option.

I really think people look to be offended. Some seem to make a career out of it.

[arkitect]

Then why does no one ever say, "That's so straight" as an insult? Think about that for a moment, and maybe the reason "That's so gay" is offensive will come to you.

+1

What I gather from this thread is that we gay folk just have to just put up with "gay" being used as an insult.

Well I don't. It is a bloody insult.
Period.
All you apologists can go **** yourselves.

[leekohler]

+1

What I gather from this thread is that we gay folk just have to just put up with "gay" being used as an insult.

Well I don't. It is a bloody insult.
Period.
All you apologists can go **** yourselves.

You're damn right. I'm sick of this "oh, you're just being sensitive BS".

[Badandy]

+1

What I gather from this thread is that we gay folk just have to just put up with "gay" being used as an insult.

Well I don't. It is a bloody insult.
Period.
All you apologists can go **** yourselves.

I'm a little confused as to how it's insulting if the person saying it has no ill-feelings towards gay people. I understand, you don't think "gay" should be synonymous with anything stupid, but it seems to me to be just a place holder. If it's not meant to offend, don't be offended by it. I've been called "white boy", "honky", or whatever and it's fine. If the person is saying it without the intent to make me mad or disparage me, it's just not a big deal. Maybe I'm missing something.

[munkees]

Why should same sex orientated people have a monopoly on the word gay, it has other meanings: example: "happy, cheerful, joyful". So the term "that's so gay", to me could be seen as a sarcastic meaning "what a kill joy". "That's fun", said sarcastically could be used in many instances the same way as "that so gay", also "Oh joy".

now if the term is directed, so in context, referring to being "same sex oriented", then it can be determined to be offenses.

[leekohler]

I'm a little confused as to how it's insulting if the person saying it has no ill-feelings towards gay people. I understand, you don't think "gay" should be synonymous with anything stupid, but it seems to me to be just a place holder. If it's not meant to offend, don't be offended by it. I've been called "white boy", "honky", or whatever and it's fine. If the person is saying it without the intent to make me mad or disparage me, it's just not a big deal. Maybe I'm missing something.

See post #66. Think about it, and get back to me.

Why should same sex orientated people have a monopoly on the word gay, it has other meanings: example: "happy, cheerful, joyful". So the term "that's so gay", to me could be seen as a sarcastic meaning "what a kill joy". "That's fun", said sarcastically could be used in many instances the same way as "that so gay", also "Oh joy".


Yeah right. Because when used as slang, it always refers to something positive?

[emt1]

I'm not offended by either one, but if I hear someone say "that's gay", I usually assume that they are rather unintelligent and immature. Not really someone I'd want to associate with.

[Badandy]

See post #66. Think about it, and get back to me.



Yeah right. Because when used as slang, it always refers to something positive?

I read it, and even if it were used, I don't think I'd be offended. Seriously, someone can pretty much call me anything, and unless they mean it to be offensive, I just don't take it seriously. It's not worth worrying about if the person means no harm by it.

[anjinha]

I'm a little confused as to how it's insulting if the person saying it has no ill-feelings towards gay people.

Well, the expression "that's so gay" is used to replace phrases like "that's so stupid". How is that not insulting?

[munkees]

See post #66. Think about it, and get back to me.



Yeah right. Because when used as slang, it always refers to something positive?

may be the term gay should not be used for people of same sex orientation, the same sex orientated community should be using a more PC term.

same sex orientated however does sound very clinical.

[arkitect]

may be the term gay should not be used for people of same sex orientation, the same sex orientated community should be using a more PC term.

same sex orientated however does sound very clinical.

Oh, do tell… what word would make you feel more "comfortable"?
:confused:

[NT1440]

I think both phrases are extremely immature.

[Badandy]

Well, the expression "that's so gay" is used to replace phrases like "that's so stupid". How is that not insulting?

Because the person saying it likely has to intent to insult gay people. I seriously don't think many of you understand what I'm saying:

My friends can call me ANYTHING they want (no matter the origin of the term), and unless they said it for the explicit purpose to offend or upset me, I don't care. My friends call me gay sometimes, and I'm straight. That would be offensive to some straight people who might be insecure about the issue, but I know we're just clowning on each other. I wouldn't walk up to a random person on the street and use language like that though, so that's why I voted for the first option : "Depends on crowd and usage".

[iphoneftw]

Then why does no one ever say, "That's so straight" as an insult? Think about that for a moment, and maybe the reason "That's so gay" is offensive will come to you.

well no one says thats so straight because there are more straight people in the world and straight has other meaning liking the opposite gender just like thats so gay when i find something stupid or something that angers me i say thats gay/***** it
Straight also mean to be ok with how things are going

[leekohler]

I read it, and even if it were used, I don't think I'd be offended. Seriously, someone can pretty much call me anything, and unless they mean it to be offensive, I just don't take it seriously. It's not worth worrying about if the person means no harm by it.

It has nothing to do with name-calling. It has to do with referring to things in a negative manner using words that also describe a group of people. The implication is that there is something wrong with that particular group of people, therefore the object of said descriptive term "gay" is cast in a negative light. You can pretend that doesn't exist all you like, but it does.

well no one says thats so straight because there are more straight people in the world and straight has other meaning liking the opposite gender just like thats so gay when i find something stupid or something that angers me i say thats gay/***** it
STraight also mean to be ok with how things are going .

Perfect illustration of my point. "There's more of us, so we can use your terms to refer to negative things all we want and you have to shut up and take it." Nice. :rolleyes:

[anjinha]

Because the person saying it likely has to intent to insult gay people. I seriously don't think many of you understand what I'm saying:

My friends can call me ANYTHING they want (no matter the origin of the term), and unless they said it for the explicit purpose to offend or upset me, I don't care. My friends call me gay sometimes, and I'm straight. That would be offensive to some straight people who might be insecure about the issue, but I know we're just clowning on each other. I wouldn't walk up to a random person on the street and use language like that though, so that's why I voted for the first option : "Depends on crowd and usage".

The point isn't that the expression is insulting. The point is that today a lot of people still see homosexuality as something negative and gays struggle a lot with that. Expressions like that "that's so gay" helps give a negative connotation to the word "gay".

[Unspoken Demise]

I think both terms are for people who, when confronted with frustrastion and anger, cannot think of anything more intelligent/ eloquent to contribute, than an ignorant "That's gay."

[iphoneftw]

The point isn't that the expression is insulting. The point is that today a lot of people still see homosexuality as something negative and gays struggle a lot with that. Expressions like that "that's so gay" helps give a negative connotation to the word "gay".

i would never say thats gay infront of a gay person because it would most likely offend them.
but then again i dont have gay friends and probably will never have any in the future so i say thats gay as much as i want

[Badandy]

It has nothing to do with name-calling. It has to do with referring to things in a negative manner using words that also describe a group of people. The implication is that there is something wrong with that particular group of people, therefore the object of said descriptive term "gay" is cast in a negative light. You can pretend that doesn't exist all you like, but it does.

Lee, I'm all for gay rights. I voted no on prop 8, my best friend is gay, and I have nothing against gay people, but using words amongst friends that aren't meant to be offensive just isn't a big deal to me. If I do something nerdy and am called a "white boy" for it by a friend, I don't take it as "Oh man, you did something completely socially inept and geeky, just like a white person would do because white people just aren't cool". I just laugh if I conformed to that stereotype, whether that stereotype is true or not.

I wouldn't say "that's gay" with you around because I don't know you and wouldn't be that informal talking with you.

[leekohler]

Lee, I'm all for gay rights. I voted no on prop 8, my best friend is gay, and I have nothing against gay people, but using words amongst friends that aren't meant to be offensive just isn't a big deal to me. If I do something nerdy and am called a "white boy" for it by a friend, I don't take it as "Oh man, you did something completely socially inept and geeky, just like a white person would do because white people just aren't cool". I just laugh if I conformed to that stereotype, whether that stereotype is true or not.

I wouldn't say "that's gay" with you around because I don't know you and wouldn't be that informal talking with you.

I understand that, but that isn't what we're talking about. You're still missing it. I don't know how else to explain this. Can somebody help me out?

i would never say thats gay infront of a gay person because it would most likely offend them.
but then again i dont have gay friends and probably will never have any in the future so i say thats gay as much as i want

Everyone knows someone who's gay. Just because they haven't told you, doesn't mean they aren't around.

[anjinha]

Lee, I'm all for gay rights. I voted no on prop 8, my best friend is gay, and I have nothing against gay people, but using words amongst friends that aren't meant to be offensive just isn't a big deal to me. If I do something nerdy and am called a "white boy" for it by a friend, I don't take it as "Oh man, you did something completely socially inept and geeky, just like a white person would do because white people just aren't cool". I just laugh if I conformed to that stereotype, whether that stereotype is true or not.

I wouldn't say "that's gay" with you around because I don't know you and wouldn't be that informal talking with you.

Again, the point isn't that the expression is insulting. The point is that using "that's so gay" instead of a negative phrase like "that's so stupid" is casting a negative light on the word "gay".

[iphoneftw]

Perfect illustration of my point. "There's more of us, so we can use your terms to refer to negative things all we want and you have to shut up and take it." Nice. :rolleyes:
hahahha its not your term its everyones since when did you own it hahahaha
you can refer to negative things using straight but no one would take you seriously seeing as there are more straights in the world i never said you have to shutup and take it look at what your doing now fighting in a forum standing up for what you believe in

[munkees]

It has nothing to do with name-calling. It has to do with referring to things in a negative manner using words that also describe a group of people. The implication is that there is something wrong with that particular group of people, therefore the object of said descriptive term "gay" is cast in a negative light. You can pretend that doesn't exist all you like, but it does.

has to be seen the context it is referred too, if gay is meant as same sex oriented, then it is offensive. if it is meant as other, then it is not, remember gay has more than one meaning. The phase "that's so gay" has been around for a long time, I never thought of it every mean that is so homosexual, but rather "that is so lame", ie kill joy.

The term "straight", when used in the context of sexual orientation, should be offensive to same sex orientated people, seeing the other term used to be used was "bent", as to refer to same sex oriented people, which is offensive. so if one person is straight i.e. heterosexual, then other term bent must refer to homosexual.

Personally I think the term gay, should not be used to refer to people sexual orientation.

[Badandy]

Again, the point isn't that the expression is insulting. The point is that using "that's so gay" instead of a negative phrase like "that's so stupid" is casting a negative light on the word "gay".

And calling someone "white" for doing something completely socially inept or dorky is casting a negative light on "white people".

but then again i dont have gay friends and probably will never have any in the future so i say thats gay as much as i want

Great thinking. Just solid, non-prejudicial reasoning right there. Why are you even in this thread? You understand that what you just said is blatantly disciminatory, right? This has nothing to do with Lee and I arguing over whether he finds "that's gay" offensive in the way I'm describing it, what you're saying is just wrong on so many levels. You're going to dismiss all of a person's character, attributes, and qualities they can contribute to a friendship because they happen to not share your taste in women? Listen to yourself.

[NT1440]

hahahha its not your term its everyones since when did you own it hahahaha
you can refer to negative things using straight but no one would take you seriously seeing as there are more straights in the world i never said you have to shutup and take it look at what your doing now fighting in a forum standing up for what you believe in

I have to ask, how old are you exactly?:confused:

[leekohler]

hahahha its not your term its everyones since when did you own it hahahaha
you can refer to negative things using straight but no one would take you seriously seeing as there are more straights in the world i never said you have to shutup and take it look at what your doing now fighting in a forum standing up for what you believe in

What are you talking about? :confused: But again, you seem to be illustrating my point perfectly.

Badandy- this post is exactly what I'm talking about.

[arkitect]

Lee, I'm all for gay rights. I voted no on prop 8, my best friend is gay, and I have nothing against gay people, but using words amongst friends that aren't meant to be offensive just isn't a big deal to me. If I do something nerdy and am called a "white boy" for it by a friend, I don't take it as "Oh man, you did something completely socially inept and geeky, just like a white person would do because white people just aren't cool". I just laugh if I conformed to that stereotype, whether that stereotype is true or not.

I wouldn't say "that's gay" with you around because I don't know you and wouldn't be that informal talking with you.

It is not about "name calling".
For the love of god I call myself gay… there is no insult in that.
I do not get insulted if people call me gay, refer to me as gay etcetera.

What we are objecting to is the phrase:
"That is so gay"
Where "gay" is used instead of "stupid" or "dumb".

hahahha its not your term its everyones since when did you own it hahahaha
you can refer to negative things using straight but no one would take you seriously seeing as there are more straights in the world i never said you have to shutup and take it look at what your doing now fighting in a forum standing up for what you believe in
Wow. Are you for real?

[anjinha]

And calling someone "white" for doing something completely socially inept or dorky is casting a negative light on "white people".


Exactly. So I don't use words that describe a group of people to insult anyone. I think it's bad taste and immature to do that.

[munkees]

And calling someone "white" for doing something completely socially inept or dorky is casting a negative light on "white people".



Great thinking. Just solid, non-prejudicial reasoning right there.

we live in a world of double standards.

[leekohler]

It is not about "name calling".
For the love of god I call myself gay… there is no insult in that.
I do not get insulted if people call me gay, refer to me as gay etcetera.

What we are objecting to is the phrase:
"That is so gay"
Where "gay" is used instead of "stupid" or "dumb".

Why is this do difficult to understand? :confused:

[iphoneftw]

What are you talking about? :confused: But again, you seem to be illustrating my point perfectly.

Badandy- this post is exactly what I'm talking about.

hahahahahahaha you read what im talking about
no im not illustrating your point
you can say thats straight and i wont find it offensive why do gay people get offended when someone says thats gay i find it absurd how you find it offensive you have no reason to

[arkitect]

Why is this do difficult to understand? :confused:

You know… I have no idea.

I think people are just being willfully obtuse.

[Badandy]

Exactly. So I don't use words that describe a group of people to insult anyone. I think it's bad taste and immature to do that.

Are you making fun of people who were born without properly functioning taste buds? They exist, and I doubt they like the phrase you just used to mean "socially inappropriate".

you can say thats straight and i wont find it offensive why do gay people get offended when someone says thats gay i find it absurd how you find it offensive you have no reason to

They find it offensive when you use it because of your rampant homophobia and insecurity. Your thinking behind it is indeed offensive.

EDIT @ arkitect: I don't know what to say to explain myself anymore. I'm not being willfully obtuse, I can assure you of that.

[anjinha]

hahahahahahaha you read what im talking about
no im not illustrating your point
you can say thats straight and i wont find it offensive why do gay people get offended when someone says thats gay i find it absurd how you find it offensive you have no reason to

Would it kill you to use some punctuation?

[Unspoken Demise]

hahahahahahaha you read what im talking about
no im not illustrating your point
you can say thats straight and i wont find it offensive why do gay people get offended when someone says thats gay i find it absurd how you find it offensive you have no reason to

I think your ignorance is only superceded by your poor grammar and over-use of the expression "ha."
Homosexuals get angry at "thats so gay" because you use it in the way that it is "stupid" therefore saying, this stupid situation is gay. Therefore: Stupid= Gay Gay =Stupid.

Thats offensive.

[NT1440]

hahahahahahaha you read what im talking about
no im not illustrating your point
you can say thats straight and i wont find it offensive why do gay people get offended when someone says thats gay i find it absurd how you find it offensive you have no reason to

Ah the "its not offensive because I personally dont find it offensive" approach.

[munkees]

Are you making fun of people who were born without properly functioning taste buds? They exist, and I doubt they like the phrase you just used to mean "socially inappropriate".

really our whole culture is full of double speak.

[anjinha]

Are you making fun of people who were born without properly functioning taste buds? They exist, and I doubt they like the phrase you just used to mean "socially inappropriate".

People born without properly functioning taste buds are called "bad taste"? :confused:

[iphoneftw]

im done posting in this thread dont reply to any of my posts im sorry you dont understand that using thats gay and no homo isnt wrong but i respect your opinions
gay marriage is also a hoax in my opinion
but you dont see me yelling about that like you gay people who get pissed when i say thats gay

[uberamd]

sorry i have no issue saying

"that's retarded"
or
"that's gay" to be the same meaning as "thats stupid"

sue me

Same here, and a thread on Macrumors won't sway me on that. My friends all say it, I say it, its just part of conversation. Take it as you will.

[Badandy]

im done posting in this thread dont reply to any of my posts im sorry you dont understand that using thats gay and no homo isnt wrong but i respect your opinions

You don't respect anyone's opinions except your own. You don't even respect people if they happen to be gay, even if you've never met them. How the hell can anyone expect you to respect one of those people's opinions?

People born without properly functioning taste buds are called "bad taste"?

No, but it's pretty obvious you're making fun of them when you use that phrase. It's offensive.

[zioxide]

they're words

people who get offended by words need to get a life

[anjinha]

You don't respect anyone's opinions except your own. You don't even respect people if they happen to be gay. How the hell can anyone expect you to respect one of those people's opinions?



No, but it's pretty obvious you're making fun of them when you use that phrase. It's offensive.

Again, you still don't get what we're saying and you're grasping for straws with that argument...

[Unspoken Demise]

they're words

people who get offended by words need to get a life

Insightful. Thank you for your contribution.

[Badandy]

Again, you still don't get what we're saying and you're grasping for straws with that argument...

I'm not even close to grasping for straws. The point is that the language we use is riddled with words that can be offensive to some people. Using "bad taste" to describe "socially inappropriate" is offensive to people who have poorly functioning taste buds (by either injury or genetic abnormalilty)...by your logic. Did you consider it offensive? Of course not, because your intent wasn't to insult those people by equating their condition with socially inacceptable behavior.

[Unspoken Demise]

I'm not even close to grasping for straws. The point is that the language we use is riddled with words that can be offensive to some people. Using "bad taste" to describe "socially inappropriate" is offensive to people who have poorly functioning taste buds (by either injury or genetic abornamilty)...by your logic. Did you consider it offensive? Of course not, because your intent wasn't to insult those people by equating their condition with socially inacceptable behavior.
I've always taken "in poor taste" to mean "it leaves a bad taste in your mouth, like a bad after taste or a burp that burns your throat when it tastes like that burrito from 3 hours ago."

Also, the face you make when hearing something in "bad taste." That scrunchy face like "do not want!"

Straws man. You're reaching for them.

[arkitect]

I'm not even close to grasping for straws. The point is that the language we use is riddled with words that can be offensive to some people. Using "bad taste" to describe "socially inappropriate" is offensive to people who have poorly functioning taste buds (by either injury or genetic abnormalilty)...by your logic. Did you consider it offensive? Of course not, because your intent wasn't to insult those people by equating their condition with socially inacceptable behavior.

Your argument only holds water if "people who have malfunctioning tastebuds" have throughout history been persecuted and seen as being deviants and a danger to society.

Have they?
I think not.

[leekohler]

I'm not even close to grasping for straws. The point is that the language we use is riddled with words that can be offensive to some people. Using "bad taste" to describe "socially inappropriate" is offensive to people who have poorly functioning taste buds (by either injury or genetic abnormalilty)...by your logic. Did you consider it offensive? Of course not, because your intent wasn't to insult those people by equating their condition with socially inacceptable behavior.

OK- all of your examples have been kind of poor.

If someone calls you "white boy", to what would they be referring? To something stereotypical and somewhat funny about white people, right?

If I do something stereotypically gay and someone says, "That's so gay", it's no big deal. What I find offensive, is when everyone use the term "gay" to simply refer to anything they don't like or things that they find "stupid". Are gay people stereotypically stupid? No. But maybe we are something most people don't like.

That's the difference. I hope it's more clear now.

[anjinha]

I'm not even close to grasping for straws. The point is that the language we use is riddled with words that can be offensive to some people. Using "bad taste" to describe "socially inappropriate" is offensive to people who have poorly functioning taste buds (by either injury or genetic abnormalilty)...by your logic. Did you consider it offensive? Of course not, because your intent wasn't to insult those people by equating their condition with socially inacceptable behavior.

First: people with poorly functioning taste buds aren't called "bad taste", so I'm not using an expression that describes a group of people.
Second: the point isn't that using "gay" instead of "stupid" is insulting gays or calling them stupid. What it is doing is casting a negative meaning to the word "gay" and, by extension, to the gay community.

[Dagless]

Then why does no one ever say, "That's so straight" as an insult? Think about that for a moment, and maybe the reason "That's so gay" is offensive will come to you.

That's because the context is being mixed up.
(thinking back to when I was a young un) If a pink and yellow striped car, or a car with lots of stickers went by it would be referred to as "gay". It wasn't being driven by a homosexual or had nothing to do with sexuality - it was overly happy and cheesy. Using the original term for gay.

But in terms of describing people "gay" would mean homosexual, which isn't insultive either. If someone called me straight, blondie, lanky or whatever, it's a big meh from me because even though (the last one anyways) could be insultive it's descriptive.

Even though I haven't been lanky since I started working out :o

[anjinha]

That's because the context is being mixed up.
(thinking back to when I was a young un) If a pink and yellow striped car, or a car with lots of stickers went by it would be referred to as "gay". It wasn't being driven by a homosexual or had nothing to do with sexuality - it was overly happy and cheesy. Using the original term for gay.

But in terms of describing people "gay" would mean homosexual, which isn't insultive either. If someone called me straight, blondie, lanky or whatever, it's a big meh from me because even though (the last one anyways) could be insultive it's descriptive.

Even though I haven't been lanky since I started working out :o

But when people say "that's so gay" they're not being descriptive...

[Badandy]

Your argument only holds water if "people who have malfunctioning tastebuds" have throughout history been persecuted and seen as being deviants and a danger to society.



And I disagree. Most everything we say can be interpreted as offensive to some people, and the way we separate what is and isn't offensive is by trying to derive intent. If someone does not intend to insult or offend, it shouldn't be insulting or offensive. Period.

If someone calls you "white boy", to what would they be referring? To something stereotypical about white people, right?

Yes.

If I do something stereotypically gay and someone says, "That's so gay", it's no big deal. What I find offensive, is when everyone use the term "gay" to simply refer to anything they don't like or things that they find "stupid". Are gay people stereotypically stupid? No.

What if I was wearing some tight jeans and my friend called me gay? That's a stereotype about gay people--dressing flamboyantly with tight clothes. That's about equivalent to calling me white for being socially inept or uncool.

Again, I wouldn't call anything gay in front of anyone other than my close friends who know my intent and message because I don't want anyone being offended who don't know that I mean it in an inoffensive way. I do not speak this way to random people who I don't know.

[steve2112]

I don't like the terms because I prefer to come up with much better terms and insults. "That's so gay"? Please. BORING!

How about absurd, asinine, boring, corny, dumbass, foolish, *********-up idiotic, imbecilic, inane, (lots of good ones in the i section), lame, moronic, or stupid? And that's without pulling out the thesaurus. Show a little creativity with your insults, people.

[leekohler]

That's because the context is being mixed up.
(thinking back to when I was a young un) If a pink and yellow striped car, or a car with lots of stickers went by it would be referred to as "gay". It wasn't being driven by a homosexual or had nothing to do with sexuality - it was overly happy and cheesy. Using the original term for gay.

But in terms of describing people "gay" would mean homosexual, which isn't insultive either. If someone called me straight, blondie, lanky or whatever, it's a big meh from me because even though (the last one anyways) could be insultive it's descriptive.

Even though I haven't been lanky since I started working out :o

I think this might be where the differences in language usage between our two countries might be at play. ;)

[arkitect]

What if I was wearing some tight jeans and my friend called me gay? That's a stereotype about gay people--dressing flamboyantly with tight clothes.
You know, when I read stuff like that I realise how far we still have to go…
My god… do you really, really see gays like that?

I don't know what to say…

But in terms of describing people "gay" would mean homosexual, which isn't insultive either. If someone called me straight, blondie, lanky or whatever, it's a big meh from me because even though (the last one anyways) could be insultive it's descriptive.

Even though I haven't been lanky since I started working out :o

Oh no…
Surely having read through this you know by now it is not about being called gay…

It is about the phrase: "That is so gay."

I don't care if someone calls you straight.
I don't care if someone calls me gay.
What has that got to do with it? How are those insulting?

[Badandy]

Unless something new is brought into this thread, I'm done with it. Not out of frustration, but from the realization that we just think differently. I'm content enough knowing that I don't mean it to be offensive and the people I use it in front of know I don't mean it to be offensive either. Besides, if any of us met in real life, I wouldn't use it in front of you so we really don't have anything to worry about.

Cheers.

EDIT: I know, anjinhamorta, I know, it's the meaning behind it. I've explained myself, others have explained what they think. We're going in circles and we're changing no one's mind.

[anjinha]

Unless something new is brought into this thread, I'm done with it. Not out of frustration, but from the realization that we just think differently. I'm content enough knowing that I don't mean it to be offensive and the people I use it in front of know I don't mean it to be offensive either. Besides, if any of us met in real life, I wouldn't use it in front of you so we really don't have anything to worry about.

Cheers.

Again, the point isn't that the phrase "that's so gay" is insulting.

[arkitect]

Besides, if any of us met in real life, I wouldn't use it in front of you so we really don't have anything to worry about.

Cheers.

So… it is OK to insult me when I (general I, not me specifically. ;)) am not present?
:confused:

[Badandy]

So… it is OK to insult me when I (general I, not me specifically. ;)) am not present?
:confused:

I want to be done with this thread but I knew someone would bring this up.

I don't consider it an insult because my intent is not to insult or demean. I would not use it in front of you without knowing you very well because I wouldn't want you to be insulted. It's not a case of talking behind someone's back. It's respecting the fact that you may indeed find it insulting if you don't know me well.

[Zombie Acorn]

Was it in Iran?

No, there were simply no gay people in the population. The first gay person I saw was my professor in college freshman year, it didn't bother me a bit.

[leekohler]

What if I was wearing some tight jeans and my friend called me gay? That's a stereotype about gay people--dressing flamboyantly with tight clothes.

That would be funny. Again, that's not what we're talking about.

[Badandy]

That would be funny. Again, that's not what we're talking about.

Well that's what I'm talking about. Have I missed something?

[arkitect]

No, there were simply no gay people in the population. The first gay person I saw was my professor in college freshman year, it didn't bother me a bit.

You mean there were no obvious, flaming queens about, parading their otherness, while dressing flamboyantly with tight clothes :rolleyes: working in hairdressers.

Trust me hon, there were plenty about. Unless they all left that godforsaken town of yours…

Give me a name for this place… I want to visit. Desperately.

[Nugget]

Unless something new is brought into this thread, I'm done with it.

That's mighty white of you.

[leekohler]

Well that's what I'm talking about. Have I missed something?

Yes, you have. We've all been trying to explain it. I guess it's not getting through.

[arkitect]

Well that's what I'm talking about. Have I missed something?

Apparently you have.
We are talking not about being called gay.
We are talking about the phrase:
"That is gay." which is not the same thing at all as calling someone gay.

[leekohler]

No, there were simply no gay people in the population.

I always love it when I hear this. Of course there were gay people there. You just weren't aware of who they were.

[leekohler]

We are talking about the phrase:
"That is gay." which is not the same thing at all as calling someone gay.

Exactly- which is used to refer to anything people don't like. That's extremely offensive.

[Badandy]

Apparently you have.
We are talking not about being called gay.
We are talking about the phrase:
"That is gay." which is not the same thing at all as calling someone gay.

"how are these jeans?"

"that's really gay"


Look, either way. I think intent is the most important. If the person isn't trying to be mean, just don't be offended. That's really all I have to say. You can call me, or describe something to me, in the worst combination of words known to man (I don't know what they are, but you could) and I wouldn't care if there are two conditions

1) I know you
2) You don't mean it to be insulting

If someone is joking around, I think you have bigger problems to deal with.

[armoguy94]

"no homo" is such an annoying and immature term, while "that's so gay" is immature as well, it is not nearly as immature as no homo. Using no homo actually implies homophobia in your sentence, while many people just say "that's gay" using the word gay to mean "stupid," etc. and not actually against gays. People that can't express themselves without having to point out that they mean something in a non-gay way is just retarded, anyone who uses the phrase no homo needs to grow up.

[arkitect]

Exactly- which is used to refer to anything people don't like. That's extremely offensive.

Somehow I think we can try to explain this until we are blue in the face… but… :o it s never going to get through.


If someone is joking around, I think you have bigger problems to deal with.
Oh I really do give up now.

[Zombie Acorn]

I always love it when I hear this. Of course there were gay people there. You just weren't aware of who they were.

I grew up in a town of 500 people, I knew everyone in my town, most of whom were married (and old). I graduated in a class of 28 in high school, I knew everyone in my high school also (around 118 kids).

[Badandy]

Somehow I think we can try to explain this until we are blue in the face… but… :o it s never going to get through.


Oh I really do give up now.

Excellent :)

Worry about the people who are truly homophobic, not people who use a term out of habit, even if you find it offensive. We just disagree, I hope you can deal with that.

[arkitect]

I grew up in a town of 500 people, I knew everyone in my town, most of whom were married (and old). I graduated in a class of 28 in high school, I knew everyone in my high school also (around 118 kids).

You don't say… so… so… wait *breaking news here* when I become "old" I will not be gay anymore?

Wow! What a relief!
Thanks for that…

:rolleyes:

[munkees]

"no homo" is such an annoying and immature term, while "that's so gay" is immature as well, it is not nearly as immature as no homo. Using no homo actually implies homophobia in your sentence, while many people just say "that's gay" using the word gay to mean "stupid," etc. and not actually against gays. People that can't express themselves without having to point out that they mean something in a non-gay way is just retarded, anyone who uses the phrase no homo needs to grow up.

so if I am retarded, it is ok to use the term "that's gay".

[Zombie Acorn]

You don't say… so…*so… wait *breaking news here* when I become "old" I will not be gay anymore?

Wow! What a relief!
Thanks for that…

:rolleyes:

Married and old, it was a description of the populace I grew up in, no gay marriage in Kansas so they were married to a woman.

You are trying too hard to make this an anti-gay issue. It shouldn't be that hard to believe a small population didn't have a gay community or gay population in it. Its either that or they were married and hated having sex with their wives.

[leekohler]

I grew up in a town of 500 people, I knew everyone in my town, most of whom were married (and old). I graduated in a class of 28 in high school, I knew everyone in my high school also (around 118 kids).

You have any idea how many married guys are on the DL, especially in small towns? You'd be shocked, trust me.

Its either that or they were married and hated having sex with their wives.

Bingo.

[hulugu]

And I disagree. Most everything we say can be interpreted as offensive to some people, and the way we separate what is and isn't offensive is by trying to derive intent. If someone does not intend to insult or offend, it shouldn't be insulting or offensive....

If I called you a good chap and a stand-up fellow that would be offensive?

Second, intent is very difficult to establish, but among friends there's a matter of trust which can override what would, in other situations, be insulting and offensive.

[leekohler]

"how are these jeans?"

"that's really gay"


Look, either way. I think intent is the most important. If the person isn't trying to be mean, just don't be offended. That's really all I have to say. You can call me, or describe something to me, in the worst combination of words known to man (I don't know what they are, but you could) and I wouldn't care if there are two conditions

1) I know you
2) You don't mean it to be insulting

If someone is joking around, I think you have bigger problems to deal with.

You still don't get it. It's amazing to me, but you still don't get it. We aren't talking about the same thing at all.

[Badandy]

If I called you a good chap and a stand-up fellow that would be offensive?

Since you don't know what I look like, I could have a leg that was amputated. How dare you. ;)

Second, intent is very difficult to establish, but among friends there's a matter of trust which can override what would, in other situations, be insulting and offensive.

Thank you. This is why I've mentioned over and over that I wouldn't say anything like this to people other than my close friends who know my intent.

You still don't get it. It's amazing to me, but you still don't get it. We aren't talking about the same thing at all.

Yes, Lee, I get it.

"Cindy didn't text me back"
"That's gay!"

I get it. That's what you're talking about. My point still stands which you can read above in my response to hulugu. We just disagree I think. It's nothing personal.

[takao]

The point isn't that the expression is insulting. The point is that today a lot of people still see homosexuality as something negative and gays struggle a lot with that. Expressions like that "that's so gay" helps give a negative connotation to the word "gay".

if language evolution worked in this way "black" wouldn't be even remotley close to being PC for describing colored people in any western europe influenced region of the world...

100+ years ago here "der schwarze mann" (the black man) was a synonym for the Death/Grim Reaper for 99% of all people

[arkitect]

Its either that or they were married and hated having sex with their wives.

*light bulb* gone on for you yet?
;)

[leekohler]

Thank you. This is why I've mentioned over and over that I wouldn't say anything like this to people other than my close friends who know my intent.


That is fine. BUt plenty of people do say it to people they aren't very familiar with. And they use it in a very negative way. That's not OK with me.

[Badandy]

That is fine. BUt plenty of people do say it to people they aren't very familiar with. And they use it in a very negative way. That's not OK with me.

And I've come down hard on those people who do use it in a negative way in this thread, such as iphoneftw. Glad we finally understand each other.

Now I feel like I can leave the thread.

[Iscariot]

"no homo" is sooooo gay.

…

Good citizens don't use expletives. This is a PG cartoon!

[leekohler]

"no homo" is sooooo gay.

…

Good citizens don't use expletives. This is a PG cartoon!

Talk dirty to me, baby. :)

[armoguy94]

so if I am retarded, it is ok to use the term "that's gay".What? Where are you getting this from?

[Gelfin]

So I'm going to get kind of heavy late in the thread, I guess.

As some of you are aware, I grew up in the rural South. As such, when I was in single-digits of age the word "black" was often used in a derogatory manner very similar to the way "gay" is today. There were jokes and put-downs and so forth all over the schoolyard that implicitly turned on the idea that "black" was inherently undesirable. Like with all kids that age, nobody gave the least thought to what they were saying, but the latest cool or funny thing to say was the currency of the realm.

One day I was visiting a friend and repeated one of those things to him, unthinkingly, right in front of the sitter who looked after him and his sister after school. She was the sweetest little old lady in the world, and black. My friend's little sister said, "I don't get it. What does that mean?" The sitter just looked at me and said, "go ahead. Tell her what it means."

That's when the lightbulb went on, and although there are any number of things I've done that I'm not proud of, I can only hope I'll never have cause to feel more ashamed of myself than I did just then. It's something that still occasionally really bothers me, and probably will for the rest of my life.

"It's just something people say, I don't mean anything by it" is never a good enough reason to repeat something like that. You've got a responsibility to know what the things you say mean and to take ownership of them. To stubbornly insist that because you aren't thinking about what you say, other people (who cannot help thinking about it) have no business taking offense is to compound the error of not thinking to begin with.

[anjinha]

And I've come down hard on those people who do use it in a negative way in this thread, such as iphoneftw. Glad we finally understand each other.

Now I feel like I can leave the thread.

If you are using the phrase "that's so gay" when you mean "that's so stupid" you are using it in a negative way.

The problem isn't with calling people gay. As you said that can be insulting or not, depending on the intent. The problem is with giving a negative meaning to the word "gay". That should be avoided because if that becomes popular people will start to immediately think "stupid" when they hear the word "gay".

[skunk]

To stubbornly insist that because you aren't thinking about what you say, other people (who cannot help thinking about it) have no business taking offense is to compound the error of not thinking to begin with.Well said, that man.

[Badandy]

That should be avoided because if that becomes popular people will start to immediately think "stupid" when they hear the word "gay".

Not when I'm talking to my close friends. I've clearly said me using the word "gay" in that type of usage is predicated upon two facts: my non-insulting intent and the company of close friends and no one else. I'll use whatever I like in that setting, thank-you very much.

I am through with this thread. I've expressed myself and how I feel on the issue, and I've done so without being inflammatory. If you disagree with me, you disagree with me, but don't pretend for a second you've never said anything in the company of close friends that could be interpreted as insulting if said in front of people you don't know.

[anjinha]

Not when I'm talking to my close friends. I've clearly said me using the word "gay" in that type of usage is predicated upon two facts: my non-insulting intent and the company of close friends and no one else. I'll use whatever I like in that setting, thank-you very much.


You're still spreading the word "gay" as a meaning for "stupid".

And I never said you were being insulting. You apparently, again, missed this part of my post "The problem isn't with calling people gay. As you said that can be insulting or not, depending on the intent."

[Badandy]

You're still spreading the word "gay" as a meaning for "stupid".

It's like you are trying to get me to react. My close friends aren't going to think gay people are any more stupid than anyone else because someone used that phrase in their presence. They just aren't.

Please read the last paragraph of my last post again. This should not be an argument.

[Cleverboy]

"It's just something people say, I don't mean anything by it" is never a good enough reason to repeat something like that. You've got a responsibility to know what the things you say mean and to take ownership of them. To stubbornly insist that because you aren't thinking about what you say, other people (who cannot help thinking about it) have no business taking offense is to compound the error of not thinking to begin with. It's interesting that my general "check", is "would I say this in the presence of everyone and not feel ashamed?" The problem with this check, is that its only as good as my exposure to other perspectives. Hence this thread. It's been very, very enlightening.

My general feeling still, is that "no homo" is tasteless, immature, and tacky (which is fine, if that's what you're aiming for)... but can be easily mistaken for the homophobia or sexual tension it comments on (however much it resembles the lens more than the subject).

"So gay" I think, (when referring to something "stupid" or "lame", and not something actually homosexual in nature) is very derogatory, much like "retard" is for the mentally retarded (and perhaps even "cripple" for the handicapped). I'm still scratching my head over "queer", "fag", and "dyke". All of those words seem to have been "reclaimed" far more successfully than the n-word ever was, but you won't catch me using them anywhere.

My aunt's son is mentally retarded, so the "retard=stupid" comment always stuck in my head as something cruel and irritating to hear people use... but the "fight" has largely been as useless and impossible as stopping certain groups (whether through brotherhood or hatred) from using the n-word. Damon Waynes' "Handi-Man" never had me "rollin'" or doing anything but grimace and wonder why his skit was on the screen in the middle of an otherwise funny show (much like the pedophile clips that are occasionally peppered into Family Guy).

At the end of the day, it sounds like we have little choice but to do our best to be considerate to the views of others, discuss these issues in an open manner, and try not to take things too personally. Otherwise, its all a cycle of misunderstanding packaged into the curious shape of an n-dimensional manifold.

~ CB

[hulugu]

Since you don't know what I look like, I could have a leg that was amputated. How dare you. ;)

Nice, this really made me laugh. I guess if you're looking for offense, you're probably going to find it.

[killerrobot]

I have a good friend whose name is GayMarie. She's very nice and happy.

When someone says "that's so gay" - an image of her always pops into my head and I laugh. So I guess the meaning really depends on each situation and each person involved as well as their personal definitions attached to the words.

I can't say I've ever heard someone say "No homo". That just seems like an extremely weird abbreviation to me for some reason - like I'm too lazy to say homogenized. "Yeah, we're out of homo milk. I repeat no homo milk." ;)

Disclaimers:
1) I must be out of touch with today's kids.
2) I think I would take offense to someone saying "no homo"

[Cleverboy]

Nice, this really made me laugh. I guess if you're looking for offense, you're probably going to find it. Ironically, many arguments usually start with the phrase, "What's THAT supposed to mean?" --As the speaker begins down an often long and winding road toward inevitably damning comprehension. The irony is that you can respond to almost any innocuous statement with "What's THAT supposed to mean?" and immediately affect someone's tone.

I usually let my wife off the hook pretty quickly though. :)

~ CB

[leekohler]

Ironically, many arguments usually start with the phrase, "What's THAT supposed to mean?" --As the speaker begins down an often long and winding road toward inevitably damning comprehension. The irony is that you can respond to almost any innocuous statement with "What's THAT supposed to mean?" and immediately affect someone's tone.

I usually let my wife off the hook pretty quickly though. :)

~ CB

Gelfin's post on the subject at hand summed it up quite nicely though.

BTW OT- going to my first gay wedding this October. It's for two friends of mine who've been together over 10 years. I'm excited! It should be fun. It's about time they tied the knot anyway.

[brad.c]

they're words

people who get offended by words need to get a life
?? Words can make you laugh, cry, excited, scared, angry, and yes, offended.

If your words are so meaningless, then why do you have a keyboard? All you need is a mouse to click on that little red button in the upper left.

[Jeffrosproto]

"no homo" is sooooo gay.

Amazing.

[DiamondMac]

My good friend's brother is gay and hangs around us after work and whatnot. We love him and he brings his boyfriend around at times and their friends who also happen to be gay.

They use language like this at times when mocking each other but I generally just stay away with it.

My roommate my first year in college was African-American in college and he and his buddies just called each other every name in the book and they liked it. I made the mistake one night of joking about it too and well....it never was the same....I didnt even say anything bad either (not the N word, btw)

I just chalk it up to one of those things where others can say it but I can't....

And I don't care to be honest because I find EVERYONE has things that they dont mind their friends saying but if someone else says it...BOOM....attack, attack, attack

[iphoneftw]

And I've come down hard on those people who do use it in a negative way in this thread, such as iphoneftw. Glad we finally understand each other.

Now I feel like I can leave the thread.

bring up my name after i said i was done
thats so gay

[thegoldenmackid]

bring up my name after i said i was done
thats so gay

Sorry... I'm not really intelligent. What was "gay" supposed to mean in that context?

I said I was done, but that was mainly for the unnecessary pissing match between spaceboots and I was going to stop. What spaceboots said though was the easiest way to some up this thread, and probably the last thing the two of us agree on. Nor did I think this thread would on on this long.

[Badandy]

bring up my name after i said i was done
thats so gay

No, what's unacceptable is saying that you don't have any gay friends and that you won't ever. I don't know how you can be so bigoted as to dismiss a whole group of people because they are different than you in one way. Do you think that people who are attracted to a different sex than you are somehow unworthy of friendship?

That's despicable.

[Cleverboy]

My roommate my first year in college was African-American in college and he and his buddies just called each other every name in the book and they liked it. I made the mistake one night of joking about it too and well....it never was the same.... A good friend of mine calls everyone "bastard", almost like a term of endearment. "Yo, ya bastard!", "Wassup, bastard!", "Aw, you bastard." I eventually started using the term when talking to him. One day, I was talking about his little son, and I called his son a "bastard", forgetting that he wasn't married to his girl friend. Suddenly, the record skipped, and he was like... "What... did you just say?" I can't remember how I recovered, but I cleaned it up, and made a mental note. The same friend also tends to call people "cowards" in the same way, almost irrespective of any intent to paint someone in any negative light ({Hello, there.} -- "Wassup, coward.", {Oh, you shouldn't have.} -- "Aw, you're a bunch of cowards.", {See you later.} -- "Later, coward."). A co-worker picked up the habit, and related a story about how he'd subsequently called someone "coward" in a friendly way, and the guy got deeply... DEEPLY offended... even though there was no context for an insult (the word just went over like a lead balloon).

Oh, the dangers of a misfired colloquialism. Language is always fluid. Ever changing. I'm sure Kanye West's song "Gold digger", has given a lot of people of all colors pause over what rhymes with "digger", while they're driving down the street (as long as their windows are down anyway). Personally, I'm going with "playa".

Coward in training,
~ CB

[Nugget]

You've got a responsibility to know what the things you say mean and to take ownership of them. To stubbornly insist that because you aren't thinking about what you say, other people (who cannot help thinking about it) have no business taking offense is to compound the error of not thinking to begin with.

Nothing left for me to say after this. Well said, Gelfin.

[iphoneftw]

No, what's unacceptable is saying that you don't have any gay friends and that you won't ever. I don't know how you can be so bigoted as to dismiss a whole group of people because they are different than you in one way. Do you think that people who are attracted to a different sex than you are somehow unworthy of friendship?

That's despicable.
Call me a bigot if you want but atleast I'm not gay. I don't want gay friends and I don't need them. They are not unworthy there gay which is why I would not associate with them. I pity gays because think of it this way if everyone in the world was gay. There would be no more people created and the worlds population would be gone. How were you created? By 2 gays I think not seeing as that is impossible. This thread is going no were everyone here has there own opinion on the topic. There is no need to fight I hope everyone can find common ground on this

[thegoldenmackid]

Call me a bigot if you want but atleast I'm not gay. I don't want gay friends and I don't need them. They are not unworthy there gay which is why I would not associate with them. I pity gays because think of it this way if everyone in the world was gay. There would be no more people created and the worlds population would be gone. How were you created? By 2 gays I think not seeing as that is impossible. This thread is going no were everyone here has there own opinion on the topic. There is no need to fight I hope everyone can find common ground on this

And if everyone was like you, we would all be the same there would be no need for common ground...

[Badandy]

Call me a bigot if you want but atleast I'm not gay. I don't want gay friends and I don't need them. They are not unworthy there gay which is why I would not associate with them. I pity gays because think of it this way if everyone in the world was gay. There would be no more people created and the worlds population would be gone. How were you created? By 2 gays I think not seeing as that is impossible. This thread is going no were everyone here has there own opinion on the topic. There is no need to fight I hope everyone can find common ground on this

But not everyone in the world is gay; Our species will survive just fine and if you think part of the population being gay is the most likely cause for the future extinction of our species, you're off your rocker. Imagine if everyone in the world were like you: intolerant, hateful, and close-minded. Luckily, they aren't.

[thegoldenmackid]

iphoneftw reminded me of 10 Reasons Why Gay People Should Not Get Married.

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in the world.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans

[skunk]

Call me a bigot if you want but atleast I'm not gay.I'd much rather be gay than a bigot, if it comes to a choice.

[iphoneftw]

And if everyone was like you, we would all be the same there would be no need for common ground...
i dont want everyone to be like me did i ever say that? you can be gay all you want just leave me out of it. i hate when gays have pda it makes me angry but do i go huff and puff and yell? no i just continue with my life.
common ground is what keeps peace. hey be gay all you want more chicks for me
so thank you for being gay
But not everyone in the world is gay; Our species will survive just fine and if you think part of the population being gay is the most likely cause for the future extinction of our species, you're off your rocker. Imagine if everyone in the world were like you: intolerant, hateful, and close-minded. Luckily, they aren't.

well sorry if i scared you to the fact of what would be if everyone was gay luckily not everyone is just because i say i use thats gay doesnt mean i wouldnt be tolerant. i would be civil to any gay i encountered in real life i just wouldnt want to spark a friendship. i wouldnt be a jerk to them i just would be like i am to every new person i meet civil.

[iphoneftw]

iphoneftw reminded me of 10 Reasons Why Gay People Should Not Get Married.

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in the world.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans

lies
your real good at googling man
man your smart enough to come up with those all bye yourself
hahahahahhahahaha
if were gonna just have a link battle
here you go
http://www.robgagnon.net/homoPresbyTodayArticle.htm
its funny how far off topic everyone has strayed from the topic this is about whether using thats so gay and no homo is wrong or ok
if you want to start a thread about a gay marriage by all means go ahead but keep that discussion out of this thread

[thegoldenmackid]

lies
your real good at googling man
man your smart enough to come up with those all bye yourself
hahahahahhahahaha
if were gonna just have a link battle
here you go
http://www.robgagnon.net/homoPresbyTodayArticle.htm
its funny how far off topic everyone has strayed from the topic this is about whether using thats so gay and no homo is wrong or ok
if you want to start a thread about a gay marriage by all means go ahead but keep that discussion out of this thread
I'm sorry, but it was you that stated that the human race was going to die if everyone was gay. And it was you that stated that you did not want gay friends. You that stated that you didn't have gay friends. So thanks for pointing out the off-topic spirals that you started. Real intelligent.

Also, the link you sent was from a church, see the above list about why it's good that we all practice the same religion.

Also, I never claimed to think of the list all by myself, in fact my post indicated that I was reminded of it...

I really hope for a response...

[Nugget]

The Church was against mixed-race marriage, too. They lost that one as well, just like they'll lose their fight against gay civil rights.

[Gelfin]

i wouldnt be a jerk to them

You are failing.

[iphoneftw]

You are failing.

i havent met you in real life so no im not

[Gelfin]

i havent met you in real life so no im not

You're confusing MR for some kind of video game, then? You think the people in these forums are just made up?

[TwinCities Dan]

i havent met you in real life so no im not

So, its okay to disrespect people from behind your screen but not in real life, how brave! :rolleyes:

[iphoneftw]

this thread is dead and has no way to get back to life unless someone talks about the topic not gay marriage gay discrimination gay rights
please to everyone here stop straying of the topic and talk about it
if you dont have anything else to say about the topic end it
the only reason i came back is because i saw my name brought up again
im sorry you cant seem to understand how forums work
seriously by all means go start a thread about all of this
its taken up probably a good 3-4 pages of this thread
people need to lighten up about the use of thats so gay and no homo
if you have anything else productive to add to that or counter against that say something
but if you dont i wont reply anymore so let this thread die or start a new one on what you want to talk about

[Gelfin]

im sorry you cant seem to understand how forums work

I infer that you think "how forums work" has something to do with being abusive to people in ways you'd be afraid to face-to-face, without being called on it. I assure you you are mistaken.

Incidentally, if your homophobia is how you rationalize your response to the thread, then your homophobia is on-topic. You made it relevant. If you don't like it, don't bring it.

[thegoldenmackid]

read this again and understand that unless you have nothing else to add to the topic stop posting.


Did that post have anything to do with the topic? I will say again why i kept posting not about the topic. Someone brought up my name again even after i said I was done. A picture of Hitler as a "grammar nazi" is funny to me. The person that criticized my spelling are "grammar nazi's" another joke. I am perfectly able to type and use grammar. I just rush and do not spell check. Man you really cannot take a joke. You need to understand that this is the wrong thread to talk about this. Why don't you start one i think you are perfectly able to. I mean please quit going of topic. Start a new thread about about your problems with "anti-gay people"and let this one die. Seeing that no one else has anything new to say about this topic

So...in other words, by your own admission the past four or five posts of yours should not have been made because they are off-topic. But thanks for being the Himmler of staying on-topic...

[LizKat]

I regard the expression "that's so gay" as always offensive. It's a way of putting gays down, by indirection.

The context (or tone of voice) of this expression always makes it clear that what's intended is a put-down, regardless of what's under discussion: a piece of code, some gadget that suddenly reveals itself to be inoperable, someone's shirt, the suggestion by one's boss that status reports must be done by 5pm tonight, not 9am tomorrow...

"That's so gay" could translate variously into: bad, inferior, no good, stupid, tasteless, incomprehensible, irritating, or all of those and worse.

But, in choosing "gay" as the descriptor for this kind of put-down, a speaker makes it clear that he or she can't think of anything more negative to say about a negative situation or thing than that it's homosexual.

So of course it's an offensive phrase. It's offensive by design, and it's meant to derogate gays. Who says otherwise is just not being candid.

[iphoneftw]

goodbye this thread is overun with people who dont know how forums work including myself you post about the topic or else
if i have learned one thing from this thread it is dont post off topic or else it starts this and people get pissed and i need to think before i speak/type and ask myself before each post will this hurt the feelings of others even though none of your post wont sway me ill try harder not to anger you with my views and not post anymore on this thread
peace out respect to you all i can say i learned today to think before i post on forums :apple:

[Badandy]

goodbye this thread is overun with people who dont know how forums work including myself you post about the topc or else
if i have learned one thing from this thread it is dont post off topic or else it starts this and people get pissed and i need to think before i speak/type and ask myself before each post will this hurt the feelings of others
peace out respect to you all i can say i learned today to think before i post on forums :apple:

So you've learned that you shouldn't post off-topic, but you haven't learned that being so prejudiced and rude towards a group of people who have done nothing wrong to you makes you a bigoted, hateful person who is lacking in moral character?

[DiamondMac]

lies
your real good at googling man
man your smart enough to come up with those all bye yourself
hahahahahhahahaha
if were gonna just have a link battle
here you go
http://www.robgagnon.net/homoPresbyTodayArticle.htm
its funny how far off topic everyone has strayed from the topic this is about whether using thats so gay and no homo is wrong or ok
if you want to start a thread about a gay marriage by all means go ahead but keep that discussion out of this thread

You honestly sound as if you are a young high school kid who can't stand it when people have a different opinion than yours

It really is sad

[thegoldenmackid]

You honestly sound as if you are a young high-school kid who can't stand it when people have a different opinion than yours

It really is sad

Hey..don't make fun of me.

[brad.c]

You honestly sound as if you are a young high-school kid who can't stand it when people have a different opinion than yours
Yeah, that is so high school!
Hey..don't make fun of me.
Oops, sorry. :o ;)

[Zombie Acorn]

*light bulb* gone on for you yet?
;)

Not really, I don't know what makes you guys think there has to be an x number of gay population in certain areas. With gays making up a very small minority of the US and majority living on the coasts from what I see it doesn't seem unusual at all.

In fact you'd almost have to be stupid to live in rural Kansas if you were gay, actually unless you are a farmer its pretty dumb living out there (trust me). There are plenty of gay communities in the surrounding cities.

[cocky jeremy]

I say all of it. Retarded, that's so gay, the "N" word.. all of it. People need to lighten the hell up. This country is so politically correct. It's the dumbest ****, ever. Get over it. Oh no, i said a word!! Big deal.

[Badandy]

I say all of it. Retarded, that's so gay, the "N" word.. all of it. People need to lighten the hell up. This country is so politically correct. It's the dumbest ****, ever. Get over it. Oh no, i said a word!! Big deal.

Would you say the N word in front of a black person you didn't know (assuming you are not black)? Would you say "that's gay" in front of someone who you know is gay but don't know on a personal level? Would you say "that's retarded" in front of someone who is actually mentally retarded?

[Zombie Acorn]

Would you say the N word in front of a black person you didn't know (assuming you are not black)? Would you say "that's gay" in front of someone who you know is gay but don't know on a personal level? Would you say "that's retarded" in front of someone who is actually mentally retarded?

When the hell do you say the n-word to reference something else besides a black person in derogatory manner? I am not referencing a gay or retarded person on the other two examples.

Ive never seen someone point towards a gay person and say "thats gay", or a retarded person and say "thats retarded".

[DiamondMac]

Hey..don't make fun of me.

You don't sound like it :D

[NT1440]

Not really, I don't know what makes you guys think there has to be an x number of gay population in certain areas. With gays making up a very small minority of the US and majority living on the coasts from what I see it doesn't seem unusual at all.

In fact you'd almost have to be stupid to live in rural Kansas if you were gay, actually unless you are a farmer its pretty dumb living out there (trust me). There are plenty of gay communities in the surrounding cities.

Can I ask where you get this strange assumption that gays are a super small minority? And why you seem to think they only lurk in cities on the coast?

Where do you get your info on gays?:rolleyes:

[Badandy]

When the hell do you say the n-word to reference something else besides a black person in derogatory manner? I am not referencing a gay or retarded person on the other two examples.

Ive never seen someone point towards a gay person and say "thats gay", or a retarded person and say "thats retarded".

...which is why I wasn't responding to you.

[Zombie Acorn]

Can I ask where you get this strange assumption that gays are a super small minority? And why you seem to think they only lurk in cities on the coast?

Where do you get your info on gays?:rolleyes:

The last estimates I have seen were from UCLA and posted 8.8 million gay/bis in the US. That is a pretty small minority, not over 6% of the populace in any state. Also the three largest gay pop states according to wiki are cali, florida, and new york. So the reason I say gay populations are more prevalent on the coast... is because they are.

[bruinsrme]

Can I ask where you get this strange assumption that gays are a super small minority? And why you seem to think they only lurk in cities on the coast?

Where do you get your info on gays?:rolleyes:

NT
haven't you been to Provincetown?

[leekohler]

The last estimates I have seen were from UCLA and posted 8.8 million gay/bis in the US. That is a pretty small minority, not over 6% of the populace in any state. Also the three largest gay pop states according to wiki are cali, florida, and new york. So the reason I say gay populations are more prevalent on the coast... is because they are.

Those numbers rely on people telling the truth, which many people don't do.

NT
haven't you been to Provincetown?

Or Chicago? Or any small college town in the US?

[bruinsrme]

Why do gay people feel they have a lock on the acronym HOMO.

There is such a word HOMOSAPIEN. Prove to me that isn't what I implied.

if I say thats gay what does that mean to you? to me that is something that doesn't match my tastes or preference.

Those numbers rely on people telling the truth, which many people don't do.



Or Chicago? Or any small college town in the US?

Lee have you been to Provincetown on the tip of Cape Cod?

[Zombie Acorn]

Those numbers rely on people telling the truth, which many people don't do.



Or Chicago? Or any small college town in the US?

Im an atheist, I am also a minority and could say its because people don't tell the truth. I know of one other atheist in my hometown. I imagine there are more atheists on the coasts also. I don't see what this is getting to, gays don't make up a huge portion of the population, especially in rural areas in the middle of the US.

There was a x% club at my first college (I can't remember what they used for the number). So yes I am aware there are gay populations in more populous cities in my area.

[dukebound85]

i do have an issue with people telling me how i should talk if i am not being politically correct

[leekohler]

i do have an issue with people telling me how i should talk if i am not being politically correct

As long as you don't mind me talking back to you in a similar insulting manner, then by all means, go for it. And as long as you don't mind being judged by how you talk, which you are and will be, go for it.

[Macky-Mac]

....Ive never seen someone point towards a gay person and say "thats gay", or a retarded person and say "thats retarded".

well of course not.....you use it when you're insulting a friend or a not-a-friend and the point is that they're so "bad" that they're no better than a retard, or a gay, or some other "obviously" less than "regular & ok" member of society.......so using "retard" and "gay" simply reveals and reinforces how you and others place those people in society.

[Zombie Acorn]

well of course not.....you use it when you're insulting a friend or a not-a-friend and the point is that they're so "bad" that they're no better than a retard, or a gay, or some other "obviously" less than "regular & ok" member of society.......so using "retard" and "gay" simply reveals and reinforces how you and others place those people in society.

Or its just a phrase that has been used a lot and doesn't really have any meaning behind it at all.

[leekohler]

Or its just a phrase that has been used a lot and doesn't really have any meaning behind it at all.

If it has no meaning behind it, then why use it?

[Macky-Mac]

:DOr its just a phrase that has been used a lot and doesn't really have any meaning behind it at all.

not to you because you're not a retard.....or are you?:D

but obviously it does have meaning to a lot of people.....just read the responses in this thread and there's no way you can claim it doesn't have meaning to a fair number of people

[dukebound85]

As long as you don't mind me talking back to you in a similar insulting manner, then by all means, go for it. And as long as you don't mind being judged by how you talk, which you are and will be, go for it.

thats the thing, i am not even thinking about homosexuals when i say it. im using the word in a different context and that word even has different meanings. consult a dictionary if you dont believe me

[leekohler]

thats the thing, i am not even thinking about homosexuals when i say it. im using the word in a different context and that word even has different meanings. consult a dictionary if you dont believe me

Nowhere in this definition do I see anything saying "gay" is defined as a derogatory term for any and all things people may dislike.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gay

thats the thing, i am not even thinking about homosexuals when i say it. im using the word in a different context and that word even has different meanings. consult a dictionary if you dont believe me

Why not say what you really mean instead?

[Macky-Mac]

thats the thing, i am not even thinking about homosexuals when i say it. im using the word in a different context and that word even has different meanings. consult a dictionary if you dont believe me

of course it has different meanings....but are you seriously saying you aren't using it as a matter of disrespect to your friend when you use it? isn't that exactly why you're using it?

you may be joking when you say it.....but why would you pick that particular term to insult somebody if you didn't really think of it as an insult?

[LizKat]

Why derogate gays in the process of indicating distaste for something? If you don't mean to offend gays then why not just stop using the word "gay" when you mean something else?

[anjinha]

thats the thing, i am not even thinking about homosexuals when i say it. im using the word in a different context and that word even has different meanings. consult a dictionary if you dont believe me

You may use the word "gay" in a non-offensive way but you're helping to give a negative meaning to the word "gay". If an expression like that gets popular it can reach a point where "gay" means as much "stupid" as it means "homosexual".

Im an atheist, I am also a minority and could say its because people don't tell the truth. I know of one other atheist in my hometown. I imagine there are more atheists on the coasts also. I don't see what this is getting to, gays don't make up a huge portion of the population, especially in rural areas in the middle of the US.

There was a x% club at my first college (I can't remember what they used for the number). So yes I am aware there are gay populations in more populous cities in my area.

Some people don't come out as gay for a long time.

[bruinsrme]

Why derogate gays in the process of indicating distaste for something? If you don't mean to offend gays then why not just stop using the word "gay" when you mean something else?

If I say "that's gay" it is merely words. If someone is offended by overhearing my words referencing an non-human object or replying to my friend please stop listening in my conversation, that is rude.

Yep that sounds silly doesn't it.

[anjinha]

If I say "that's gay" it is merely words. If someone is offended by overhearing my words referencing an non-human object or replying to my friend please stop listening in my conversation, that is rude.

Yep that sounds silly doesn't it.

Words are hurtful.

[leekohler]

If I say "that's gay" it is merely words. If someone is offended by overhearing my words referencing an non-human object or replying to my friend please stop listening in my conversation, that is rude.

Yep that sounds silly doesn't it.

Yes, it does. Like I said, as long as you don't mind someone calling you a "dumba**" or something similar, go right ahead. It's merely words.

[dukebound85]

Words are hurtful.

sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me

lol

[leekohler]

sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me

lol

Words are what lead to sticks and stones.

[bruinsrme]

Yes, it does. Like I said, as long as you don't mind me calling you a dumba**, go right ahead. It's merely words.

Lee,
If you call me a dumba55 you are directing that at me.
If you say "that dumba55" referencing something your friend just told you in which I overhear your conversation as I am walking by, are you saying I should be offended?

[leekohler]

Lee,
If you call me a dumba55 you are directing that at me.
If you say "that dumba55" referencing something your friend just told you in which I overhear your conversation as I am walking by, are you saying I should be offended?

That's not what I was saying. People judge you on the words you use, whether you like it or not. When I hear "That's so gay" used in a derogatory manner toward an individual or object, my opinion of that person's intelligence sinks pretty fast. It's lazy at best. Sort of how when I hear people say "like" every other word. But using "that's so gay" to describe something someone doesn't like is beyond lazy, it's also offensive. You can say what you like, but I also have the freedom to judge your intelligence and character based on what you say.

[bruinsrme]

That's not what I was saying. People judge you on the words you use, whether you like it or not. When I hear "That's so gay" used in a derogatory manner toward an individual or object, my opinion of that person's intelligence sinks pretty fast. It's lazy at best. Sort of how when I hear people say "like" every other word.

Wow Lee, i never realized the sensitivity of the gay community.
Please stay away from hockey rinks, you may exhaust yourself passing judgement on the players talking smack.

I surely wouldn't say "that's gay" in a meeting with colleagues or management.
But out with the boys, sure the dialouge degreades and so on.

[dukebound85]

That's not what I was saying. People judge you on the words you use, whether you like it or not. When I hear "That's so gay" used in a derogatory manner toward an individual or object, my opinion of that person's intelligence sinks pretty fast. It's lazy at best. Sort of how when I hear people say "like" every other word. But using "that's so gay" to describe something someone doesn't like is beyond lazy, it's also offensive. You can say what you like, but I also have the freedom to judge your intelligence and character based on what you say.

How is it offensive? Surely you understand the context the word is used in

If it was aimed at you or homosexuals, its one thing buuut it isnt

[anjinha]

How is it offensive? Surely you understand the context the word is used in

If it was aimed at you or homosexuals, its one thing buuut it isnt

No, but it is giving a negative meaning to a word that is used to refer to a group of people...

[dukebound85]

No, but it is giving a negative meaning to a word that is used to refer to a group of people...

i am not implying any said link at all when i use the term

sounds like its the person hearing the word is making that link and that's their problem they need to resolve with them-self, not mine

[Macky-Mac]

How is it offensive? Surely you understand the context the word is used in

If it was aimed at you or homosexuals, its one thing buuut it isnt

lol, but it's so gay to pretend it isn't a slur :D seriously, only a retard would believe that :rolleyes:

[bruinsrme]

No, but it is giving a negative meaning to a word that is used to refer to a group of people...

So if I am in the TV section and I am talkiing with the salesperson and I make a comment "I thinkthe blacks are really poor" should a black person take offense to that?

[leekohler]

i am not implying any said link at all when i use the term


Why are you using the word then?

Wow Lee, i never realized the sensitivity of the gay community.
Please stay away from hockey rinks, you may exhaust yourself passing judgement on the players talking smack.

I surely wouldn't say "that's gay" in a meeting with colleagues or management.
But out with the boys, sure the dialouge degreades and so on.

Why do you insist on using a word that does nothing to help you make your point? If it means nothing, then why use it? Why do you think it's such a powerful insult?

And please- if you don't think I have my share of straight jock friends, you don't know much about me. I don't give them a pass on that crap either. I do call people on it. And you know what? They think twice about saying it again- at least around me. I won't put up with it.

[dukebound85]

So if I am in the TV section and I am talkiing with the salesperson and I make a comment "I thnk the the blacks are really poor" should a black person take offense to that?

but but the context is different



.....exactly the point we are making lol

Why are you using the word then?

because i grew up with my friends and i saying it. i started saying it long before i knew what a homosexual even meant

[anjinha]

i am not implying any said link at all when i use the term

sounds like its the person hearing the word is making that link and that's their problem they need to resolve with them-self, not mine

It doesn't matter. That's how most insults start. They start as normal words and evolve into insults as people start using them with a negative meaning. N***** wasn't an offensive word until people started using it in a negative way.

[bruinsrme]

but but the context is different



.....exactly the point we are making lol

But how does that black person know I am talking about a TV or and not referring to black people being poor?

[dukebound85]

It doesn't matter. That's how most insults start. They start as normal words and evolve into insults as people start using them with a negative meaning. N***** wasn't an offensive word until people started using it in a negative way.

once again, understand the importance that context plays in the meaning of a word

calling someone a n***** is in insult as its directed at an individual

saying something is gay the way i use it is never directed to people in the slightest

if i were to direct saying gay to individuals with malice, it would be an insult....the way it is used in everyday language is not directed at people
But how does that black person know I am talking about a TV or and not referring to black people being poor?

lol by the context in which it was said obviously

[Macky-Mac]

So if I am in the TV section and I am talkiing with the salesperson and I make a comment "I thinkthe blacks are really poor" should a black person take offense to that?

since most blacks aren't poor, then probably most of them would be offended that you would be saying such a thing.....but perhaps going by the reasoning you seem to be presenting I guess you're saying "I think the blacks are gay" :D

[leekohler]

because i grew up with my friends and i saying it. i started saying it long before i knew what a homosexual even meant

And now that you do know, it excuses it? I'm sorry, ignorance is not an excuse. That makes it even worse.

[dukebound85]

And now that you do know, it excuses it? I'm sorry, ignorance is not an excuse. That makes it even worse.

im not making the link Lee, you are

It would be one thing gowing up calling people fa*s and then learning its an insult as it is directed at people

calling something gay does not mean i am refeering to homosexuals. You are making that connection and then getting offended by it. I am not using that word directed at anyone so how can it be offensive.

really, how can a word be offensive if it is NOT directed at a person

our whole language relies on context

without context, words are merely noises we make. it is us that make the links to words and what they mean in the way they are used. context is everthing

[bruinsrme]

since most blacks aren't poor, then probably most of them would be offended that you would be saying such a thing.....but perhaps going by the reasoning you seem to be presenting I guess you would think it's fine to say "I think the blacks are retards" :D

but what if the person hearing it is or feels they are poor?

Not that I have checked to see if poor or not poor black people are wearing a stickers with their status, how am I to know if what I have said was taken out of context. if I see a black person should I refrain from using poor and black in the same sentence or just apologize as they walk by.

But what if I said here this one has really rich blacks.

should I only shop for tvs in an all white neighborhood?

[Macky-Mac]

...really, how can a word be offensive if it is NOT directed at a person

because you're using it as an insult.....and if you didn't believe it was insulting, you wouldn't be using it

[dukebound85]

because you're using it as an insult.....and if you didn't believe it was insulting, you wouldn't be using it

no, i am not using it as an insult as i am not directing it to anyone as an insult. the use of the word gay as i use it isnt even directed to anything human

[Macky-Mac]

no, i am not using it as an insult as i am not directing it to anyone as an insult. the use of the word gay as i use it isnt even directed to anything human

you're not using it as a negative term?

I find that very hard to believe given your posts here.

edit;

:D so when you bought your motorcycle you went into work the next day and told everybody you bought this really gay bike? And then you told everybody how you went out with your friends to celebrate and had a really gay time?

if so, then i'll believe you don't really mean "gay" as a negative insulting term

[brad.c]

because i grew up with my friends and i saying it. i started saying it long before i knew what a homosexual even meant

I call BS on that. Do you really expect us to believe you had arbitrarily chosen a term from the 50s, meaning happy and carefree, to become a negative slangadjective? No, I think you knew it was a term referring to people who were different than you.

Edit: Full disclosure, I was probably just as insensitive as a kid myself, but I grew out of it, and wouldn't think to try and defend it now.

[Jack Flash]

It's definitely not a classy slang term to use and like most things profane, implies a certain level of ignorance when used.

That told I'm not perfect and I've unfortunately found myself using the phrase before though I actively try to abstain.

I don't consider it hate speak, however.

[bruinsrme]

I call BS on that. Do you really believe you arbitrarily chose a term from the 50s, meaning happy and carefree, to become a negative adjective? No, I think you knew it was a term referring to people who were different than you.

How do you know we are not gay?

[Macky-Mac]

How do you know we are not gay?

actually, given your arguments, i suspect he probably does think you're so gay! :rolleyes:

[Zombie Acorn]

I call BS on that. Do you really expect us to believe you had arbitrarily chosen a term from the 50s, meaning happy and carefree, to become a negative slangadjective? No, I think you knew it was a term referring to people who were different than you.

Edit: Full disclosure, I was probably just as insensitive as a kid myself, but I grew out of it, and wouldn't think to try and defend it now.

Ever seen south park? It was on a lot when I was a kid.

[TwinCities Dan]

Wow, I leave for a few hours and return to this? :eek:

Really folks? Context is NOT the discussion, this is about right and wrong. Regardless of your upbringing there comes a time to think for yourself. I will admit I have said derogatory things in my past but as you grow and mature you begin to learn to live and let live and not pass judgement on others.

You know calling something gay is not a "happy or merry" adjective. You know, somewhere deep down, that it isn't right. It doesn't matter if your current company accepts your "slang". I think the "that's retarded" comment is just as offensive. How do you know that person doesn't have a mental challenged child at home. Would that comment make you look like an intelligent person? No. Same with the "that's gay" comment, how do you know they don't have a gay sibling or whatever. It's not right, and you know it, so knock it off.

I understand that in "Whitebread America" these comments may be acceptable, but sooner or later "these people" (other races, sexualities, religions, whatever) will touch your life and you will regret your judgements in the past.

We all know better than to perpetuate this nonsense, it just takes an effort to be more open-minded to be more accepting of others. That is all. :o

[Zombie Acorn]

Wow, I leave for a few hours and return to this? :eek:

Really folks? Context is NOT the discussion, this is about right and wrong. Regardless of your upbringing there comes a time to think for yourself. I will admit I have said derogatory things in my past but as you grow and mature you begin to learn to live and let live and not pass judgement on others.

You know calling something gay is not a "happy or merry" adjective. You know, somewhere deep down, that it isn't right. It doesn't matter if your current company accepts your "slang". I think the "that's retarded" comment is just as offensive. How do you know that person doesn't have a mental challenged child at home. Would that comment make you look like an intelligent person? No. Same with the "that's gay" comment, how do you know they don't have a gay sibling or whatever. It's not right, and you know it, so knock it off.

I understand that in "Whitebread America" these comments may be acceptable, but sooner or later "these people" (other races, sexualities, religions, whatever) will touch your life and you will regret your judgements in the past.

We all know better than to perpetuate this nonsense, it just takes an effort to be more open-minded to be more accepting of others. That is all. :o

I developed a website for an organization for mentally ill children to help with donations, I still say "thats retarded".

[brad.c]

How do you know we are not gay?
Sorry, didn't realize you were. But just because you are willing to use yourself as an example of "stupid", that doesn't make it right to describe your boyfriend that way. Or girlfriend, if you are a girl.
Ever seen south park? It was on a lot when I was a kid.
But you're all grown up now, right?