Tesselator
Jul 25, 2009, 12:35 PM
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT (AWNAA)
WASHINGTON , DC (AP) - President Obama and the
US Congress are considering sweeping legislation which provides
new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With
No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation
by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or
ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess
the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role
for themselves in society," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
"We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed
and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able
to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do
a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."
The President pointed to the success of the US
Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing
opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of
postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer
of Persons of Inability.
Private sector industries with good records of
nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), home
improvement stores, The DMV also has a great
record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more
than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created,
with important-sounding titles but little real
responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance- based raises and
promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the
most unremarkable employees. The legislation
provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a
significant level of Persons of Inability in middle
positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that
agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires!
Finally, the AWNAA ACT contains tough new
measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the
Non-abled, banning discriminatory interview questions such
as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills
or experience which relate to this
job?"
`As a Non-abled Person, I can't be expected to
keep up with people who have something going for them,' said Mary Lou
Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut
twister at the GM plant in Flint , Michigan , due to her inability
to remember `righty tighty, lefty loosey.'
`This new law should be real good for people
like me,' Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions
of other untalented citizens will finally see a
light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): `As a Senator
with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that
elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every
American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each
and every American citizen, regardless of his
or her inadequacy, with some sort of job in this great nation and
a good salary with it.
http://www.usdebtclock.org/ <---- Oh Yeah! Uh-huh!
:D
WASHINGTON , DC (AP) - President Obama and the
US Congress are considering sweeping legislation which provides
new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With
No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation
by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or
ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess
the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role
for themselves in society," said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
"We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed
and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able
to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do
a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."
The President pointed to the success of the US
Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing
opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of
postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer
of Persons of Inability.
Private sector industries with good records of
nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), home
improvement stores, The DMV also has a great
record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more
than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created,
with important-sounding titles but little real
responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance- based raises and
promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the
most unremarkable employees. The legislation
provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a
significant level of Persons of Inability in middle
positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that
agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires!
Finally, the AWNAA ACT contains tough new
measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the
Non-abled, banning discriminatory interview questions such
as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills
or experience which relate to this
job?"
`As a Non-abled Person, I can't be expected to
keep up with people who have something going for them,' said Mary Lou
Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut
twister at the GM plant in Flint , Michigan , due to her inability
to remember `righty tighty, lefty loosey.'
`This new law should be real good for people
like me,' Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions
of other untalented citizens will finally see a
light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): `As a Senator
with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that
elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every
American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each
and every American citizen, regardless of his
or her inadequacy, with some sort of job in this great nation and
a good salary with it.
http://www.usdebtclock.org/ <---- Oh Yeah! Uh-huh!
:D
