'Many girls' abused by boyfriends

[edesignuk]

A third of teenage girls suffer sexual abuse in a relationship and a quarter experience violence at the hands of their boyfriends, a survey suggests.

Nearly 90% of 1,400 girls aged 13 to 17 had been in intimate relationships, the NSPCC and University of Bristol found.

Of these, one in six said they had been pressured into sexual intercourse and one in 16 said they had been raped. BBC (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8230844.stm).

What can you say, pretty bloody awful.

[OllyW]

Blimey e, with this story and the one about teenage girls getting pissed you are making this father of an eighteen year old girl feel a little bit worried today. :eek:

[robbieduncan]

Do you think that your other thread (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=777340) may, in some way, have something to do with this?

[edesignuk]

Blimey e, with this story and the one about teenage girls getting pissed you are making this father of an eighteen year old girl feel a little bit worried today. :eek:

Do you think that your other thread (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=777340) may, in some way, have something to do with this?Crappy huh.

I can only imagine what I'll be thinking when I'm really old.

[robbieduncan]

Crappy huh.

I can only imagine what I'll be thinking when I'm really old.

What? Like when you're 35?

[edesignuk]

What? Like when you're 35?Reeeeally old*. Fifties, sixties.

*compared to now.

[Cabbit]

Both sides are equally responsible here, and i have seen boys being put on sex offenders register for having sex with there girlfriend and she later decides she didn't like him or it didn't feel good so she dumps hims, tells daddy she he raped her to look like daddies little angel then happy sails on to the next boyfriend.

This was only 4 years ago that i was in high school, and i can still imagine that there are evil wee lassys out there like this wanting to hurt there old boyfriend forever more for forgetting to txt them or something.

Not that i am saying there are not legitimate accusations as well but most certainly not in these numbers, if that were the case then my first time with my boyfriend would be classified as rape since he was 16 and i was 15. If we were caught that would have been seen as rape here since he was a legal adult at 16 and i was a child.

[No1451]

Both sides are equally responsible here, and i have seen boys being put on sex offenders register for having sex with there girlfriend and she later decides she didn't like him or it didn't feel good so she dumps hims, tells daddy she he raped her to look like daddies little angel then happy sails on to the next boyfriend.

Now something like that WOULD lead me to violence against an ex, I have trouble believing anyone would be so conniving.

Anyways, about these stats, what qualifies as abuse in a relationship? We always see these stats and I know that I often imagine it as a quick hook to the jaw or something, likely not what is happening in *all* cases.

[iPhone 62S]

As others have said, these stats mean nothing since underage sex stupidly counts as rape here in the UK for some reason :confused:

EDIT: What's even stupider is the guy is always the one taking advantage of the girl according to the law no matter what the circumstances.

[JLUGO35]

BBC (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8230844.stm).

What can you say, pretty bloody awful.

No offense to the legit victims here but some girls bring this on themselves. I seen dozens of girls turned down a real good guy for the wanna be badass future wife beater type guys.

[BanjoBanker]

My teenage daughter dated a turd that pushed her around and never let her out of his sight. He got a little carried away once and hit her. I found out after his father called me threatening to have my son arrested for assault. It seems my son found out and had a "chat" with the boy. We did not see that boy around much after that. Fathers need to teach their sons to treat women with respect and their daughters to expect it.

[Leareth]

well when go on date the guys 'expect' at least a BJ.
and most do not take kindly to a NO.
"is only a BJ, not like its sex"
try to pressure, get drunk, or add drugs to drink.
fortunately I don't drink, my 'drink' is water out of bottle, and when you can benchpress most guys the pressure tactic tends to backfire on them.

I know some of my female friends have had sex with guys rather than try to enforce the NO, a number of guys will not take no for answer and will use physical force.

I feel that once a person is under influence of drugs or alcohol they cannot give consent , and it should be treated as a sexual violation

[ucfgrad93]

What can you say, pretty bloody awful.

No kidding, it is a very sad commentary on today's society.

[edesignuk]

I feel that once a person is under influence of drugs or alcohol they cannot give consent , and it should be treated as a sexual violationWhile it's obviously wrong to essentially dope someone with drink, you can't say that everything that happens after that is a violation. Every bloke on earth would be a sex convict if the (lucky? :p) lady woke up the next day and decided she wished she hadn't...

[sushi]

What can you say, pretty bloody awful.
Sad news.

Reeeeally old*. Fifties, sixties.
I felt a bit of a sting when I read that. :eek:

I feel that once a person is under influence of drugs or alcohol they cannot give consent , and it should be treated as a sexual violation
A bit of a slippery slope on this. What happens when someone who has been drinking has sex and then decides the day after they wish they hadn't for whatever reason?

[iBlue]

As sad and wrong as it is, it's no shocker. Volatile relationships are really common in the teen to tween age range.

well when go on date the guys 'expect' at least a BJ.
and most do not take kindly to a NO.
"is only a BJ, not like its sex"
try to pressure, get drunk, or add drugs to drink.
fortunately I don't drink, my 'drink' is water out of bottle, and when you can benchpress most guys the pressure tactic tends to backfire on them.

I know some of my female friends have had sex with guys rather than try to enforce the NO, a number of guys will not take no for answer and will use physical force.

I feel that once a person is under influence of drugs or alcohol they cannot give consent , and it should be treated as a sexual violation

That is horrible!

As for being under the influence and giving consent, that is a tricky one. People get soused and have sex. It happens. Sometimes it's much more sinister, sometimes not. Either way I don't think it's fair when (some) girls/women have what is really nothing more than regrettable sex and then try to ruin some guy's life by calling it rape. That is sick and it does a huge disservice to all rape victims and the wrongfully accused both.

[sushi]

As for being under the influence and giving consent, that is a tricky one. People get soused and have sex. It happens. Sometimes it's much more sinister, sometimes not. Either way I don't think it's fair when (some) girls/women have what is really nothing more than regrettable sex and then try to ruin some guy's life by calling it rape. That is sick and it does a huge disservice to all rape victims and the wrongfully accused both.
Well said. :)

Definitely a slippery slope.

[whooleytoo]

I feel that once a person is under influence of drugs or alcohol they cannot give consent , and it should be treated as a sexual violation

Completely unfeasible. Much of the time, one or both partners are drunk, if you made that a crime there aren't enough jails in the world to hold everyone accountable.

If someone is worried about what they might do when drunk or on drugs, they shouldn't drink or take drugs, or do so in moderation. People are responsible for their own ability/inability to consent.


As for being under the influence and giving consent, that is a tricky one. People get soused and have sex. It happens. Sometimes it's much more sinister, sometimes not. Either way I don't think it's fair when (some) girls/women have what is really nothing more than regrettable sex and then try to ruin some guy's life by calling it rape. That is sick and it does a huge disservice to all rape victims and the wrongfully accused both.

Very true. There is of course the other side too; I know someone (middle-aged married guy, with children) who goes out after midnight on Sat. nights/Sun. mornings and trawls around his town to meet drunken girls coming out of nightclubs. Charming.. :rolleyes:

[NT1440]

I wanna know why so many girls seem to be drawn to the guy that is obviously going to to something sick like that. We've all seen the girl fall head over heels for the douchebags, and suddenly its some massive shock when he turns out to be, wait for it, ...... a douchebag!

That being said, on the flipside, I can see how alot of my guy friends are just complete hunters when it comes to girls and will say/do anything to make themselves seem appealing (while not being themselves at all).

I can't really seem to blame either side here, its far too complicated.

[No1451]

I wanna know why so many girls seem to be drawn to the guy that is obviously going to to something sick like that. We've all seen the girl fall head over heels for the douchebags, and suddenly its some massive shock when he turns out to be, wait for it, ...... a douchebag!

That being said, on the flipside, I can see how alot of my guy friends are just complete hunters when it comes to girls and will say/do anything to make themselves seem appealing (while not being themselves at all).

I can't really seem to blame either side here, its far too complicated.

Yeah really, my unwillingness to do this is what seems to stand in between me and the girls.

[Heilage]

well when go on date the guys 'expect' at least a BJ.
and most do not take kindly to a NO.
"is only a BJ, not like its sex"
try to pressure, get drunk, or add drugs to drink.


Thanks for putting us all out there as pure *******s. It's well appreciated. :)

As for serious business, I have never ever, in any situation or context, from anyone I have ever mer whom I have had a discussion about dating with, heard that a BJ is expected at the end of a date.

Also, the gargantual majority of guys will take a no and leave. A good friend of mine was accused of rape after having sex with my ex-girlfriend (messed up situation, I know) because she regretted it. Maybe she shouldn't have hit on him, invited him home and slept with him then? Drunk or not, one should take responsibility for ones own actions.

[anjinha]

I wanna know why so many girls seem to be drawn to the guy that is obviously going to to something sick like that. We've all seen the girl fall head over heels for the douchebags, and suddenly its some massive shock when he turns out to be, wait for it, ...... a douchebag!

That being said, on the flipside, I can see how alot of my guy friends are just complete hunters when it comes to girls and will say/do anything to make themselves seem appealing (while not being themselves at all).

I can't really seem to blame either side here, its far too complicated.

There's a long way between a guy being a douchebag and being an abuser, they're not necessarily related.

My best friend was in a serious relationship with a guy. He was (apparently) a great guy, great boyfriend until one day, after they had been together for 4 years, he beat her up. No one saw that coming.

[McBeats]

whats it mean when a girlfriend abuses their guy? a wuss.

[Mr. lax]

No offense to the legit victims here but some girls bring this on themselves. I seen dozens of girls turned down a real good guy for the wanna be badass future wife beater type guys.

No kidding... I tell friends this all the time, they never get it

[juanm]

Both sides are equally responsible here, and i have seen boys being put on sex offenders register for having sex with there girlfriend and she later decides she didn't like him or it didn't feel good so she dumps hims, tells daddy she he raped her to look like daddies little angel then happy sails on to the next boyfriend.

That's exactly why I took the decision to hide a camera, record everything in video –with sound– and store it in my, ahem, archive.

[Eraserhead]

Both sides are equally responsible here, and i have seen boys being put on sex offenders register for having sex with there girlfriend and she later decides she didn't like him or it didn't feel good so she dumps hims, tells daddy she he raped her to look like daddies little angel then happy sails on to the next boyfriend.

Anyone who actually did that, and carried it forward to the police etc. would lose a huge amount of respect from her friends and the people around her.

Not that i am saying there are not legitimate accusations as well but most certainly not in these numbers, if that were the case then my first time with my boyfriend would be classified as rape since he was 16 and i was 15. If we were caught that would have been seen as rape here since he was a legal adult at 16 and i was a child.

I don't believe anyone counts that as rape, and other the other side, the UK government think that only about 10% of real rapes are reported, so that in the UK there are around 250'000 real rapes/year, and the UK government figures are likely to be conservative.

[sushi]

whats it mean when a girlfriend abuses their guy? a wuss.
Don't laugh. It happens.

[Tower-Union]

Now something like that WOULD lead me to violence against an ex, I have trouble believing anyone would be so conniving.

Believe it mate, a girl accused me of raping her just because I threw her out of the club one night (thank god for cameras. . .)