The "I don't Understand Girls" Thread.

[Abstract]

Okay, I know that the stereotype is that guys don't understand girls. Its all over television, especially crappy sitcoms where the husband is made out to look like an ignorant, lazy, stupid, uninvolving father, and the wife is made out to be a biatch. I don't know if this affects how boys and girls interact with each other later in life, slotted into these archetypes later in life, but that's not my point, really.

I just want to know if there are some things you don't understand about girls. Generally, I don't find them difficult to understand, or not as difficult as the media tends to make it out to be, but I don't understand why some girls will say things like, "Oh (insert name here), you're so nice and sweet," when they wouldn't ever date you!! Sure, you're great together, and she thinks you're nice, but noooo, she wouldn't date you! I'm not in that situation right now, but I have been in the past, and it has always made me think, "Why not give it a try!?" :confused:

[stoid]

Many, but certainly not all, girls that I know seem to exist only to get attention. That's got to be a ****ty life. Also, girls tend to change their mind more often and yet still be more stubborn than boys with their fickle decisions.

[Daveman Deluxe]

Abstract, that's the thing I probably understand least about girls as well. If I'm so nice and sweet, why not give me a chance?

Furthermore, why is it assumed by girls that just because I'm not always funny and sometimes not even friendly, that I'm not a person who needs friendship and affection and love just as much as the other guy over there? Just because I'm not outgoing and gregarious doesn't mean I don't like a hug every now and then too. :o

[Kingsnapped]

The Ladder Theory (http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html) is scripture here. It opened my eyes, made me more of a jerk-hole and helped me end frivolous chases.

Read it. Your life will change.

[jsw]

I think I can write a summary that will pretty much offend everyone even though my intent is to offend no one. No stereotypes are 100%; these are just generalities as I see them:

(1) Guys are easy to understand. We want what makes us happy/comfortable now. Food, shelter, clothing. We take the easy way. We live "now". We do not talk about relationships because either they are "OK" - meaning they exist "now", or they are over, meaning the woman has left. Relationship endings tend to catch us by surprise, as they were just fine when "now" was a few minutes before they ended. As far as sex goes: it is always great the first few times we sleep with someone, and generally more boring after that. We're wired that way. As a result, those of us who can do so often sleep with as many women as possible since it's a thrill. Of course, those guys often end up alone, but with lots of memories as they pass into their old age. The rest of us appreciate a woman who will stay with us, and tend to favor that over sleeping around. Why? Because a partner at home who will sleep with us is better than trying to find a stranger who will, and a loving relationship is a good thing, even for men. We tend to be somewhat self-centered, and we look for women who will take care of us. Rich, powerful, attractive men rarely marry and/or stay faithful because they feel little incentive to do so.

(2) Women are equally easy to understand. When young, they want the "dangerous" type, as those guys are the alpha males women want. As they grow older, they want the more stable types, since the "alpha" guys sleep with them and never call back. Women want children, so they want partners who will stick around to provide and care for the family. The state of the relationship is always on the mind of the woman. Women are more caring, more empathetic, more giving than men. They work on relationships when men don't. A loving sexual relationship is better for them than a casual fling, at least once they get a bit older. Rich, powerful, attractive women often marry and/or stay faithful because they enjoy a long-term, loving relationship - even though they don't need to.


These are stereotypes. They apply to no one 100% of the time, but apply to most people most of the time, in my limited experience.

[musicpyrite]

Girls, English, and Latin, for me, go in all the same category.

I will never understand them, no matter how hard I try, or what I do.

I realized this, and I am happier because of it. :)


Kingsnapped, thanks for the link, it looks.... interesting.....

[beatle888]

speaking from experience. if you want a serious relationship stay away from the barbie dolls. they cant see beyond themselves and are very high maintenance. they'll never love you as much as you love them. which isnt good when the person who has the upper hand (the one that doesnt have as much invested in the relationship) is selfish. im moving on to the nice girls. paris hilton types are poison.

can you tell ive just been burned :D :confused:

[jsw]

The Ladder Theory (http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html) is scripture here. It opened my eyes, made me more of a jerk-hole and helped me end frivolous chases.

Read it. Your life will change.
Very funny. Oddly true-sounding. ;)

[yellow]

"Oh (insert name here), you're so nice and sweet," when they wouldn't ever date you!!

This is a euphemism for, "you're nice but not hot/hunky/rich/smart/stupid/bad-boy enough for me to date. Later in life when I've been through all those and realized that none of them made me happy (in fact, some of them treated me like crapola), I'll find myself a nice boy and settle down. But that's a long time away. Unlucky you, you found me before I came to this realization, so you'll have to settle with falling in love/lust with me and always ending up going home alone. Maybe I'll give you a little kiss to string you along though.. sound nice? It does to me! Let's just be friends, sucker."

[jsw]

This is a euphemism for, "you're nice but not hot/hunky/rich/smart/stupid/bad-boy enough for me to date. Later in life when I've been through all those and realized that none of them made me happy (in fact, some of them treated me like crapola), I'll find myself a nice boy and settle down. But that's a long time away. Unlucky you, you found me before I came to this realization, so you'll have to settle with falling in love/lust with me and always ending up going home alone. Maybe I'll give you a little kiss to string you along though.. sound nice? It does to me! Let's just be friends, sucker."
Just to be fair, women get this same treatment from men - except that, typically, the guy won't even talk to her. Or, worse, he'll sleep with her, deny it, and never talk to her again.

[Kingsnapped]

I stayed in the same school system for all 12 years, and that made it DAMN hard to get out of the friend zone with anybody.

...oi

[yellow]

Or, worse, he'll sleep with her, deny it, and never talk to her again.

Too true. And sad.

It all boils down to emotions. I don't want to share my emotions. I want to keep them bottled up and release them only when I've had too much burbon.

[Abstract]

This is a euphemism for, "you're nice but not hot/hunky/rich/smart/stupid/bad-boy enough for me to date. Later in life when I've been through all those and realized that none of them made me happy (in fact, some of them treated me like crapola), I'll find myself a nice boy and settle down. But that's a long time away. Unlucky you, you found me before I came to this realization, so you'll have to settle with falling in love/lust with me and always ending up going home alone. Maybe I'll give you a little kiss to string you along though.. sound nice? It does to me! Let's just be friends, sucker."

Heh, oh so true. :)

I knew about the ladder theory, except a slightly different version where we all get points for certain attributes, and men only date women around their own point total. Say a guy has a score of 72 points. Such a man only has a realistic chance of dating someone within +5 or -5 points from this total, or between 67 and 77 points. Generally, I think this point system is accurate, although the fickle bunch aims way too high and never gets together with anyone. :o
Plus girls tend to hang out with other girls near their own point total, which is why hot girls will naturally hang out with each other. The hot girls who hang out mainly with lower scoring girls probably have a self-esteem issue. :p

The problem with ladder/point theory is that if men and women date or only people with comparable point totals, why bother dumping Jane for Connie at all? They're probably both around the same point total anyway! So when a friend says that you're nice and sweet, but would never really consider dating you, well since you both probably score near the same point total, why not hook up? :confused:

[Neserk]

The nice thing? Well, we are suspicious of it... it is the "too good to be true" problem.

What I don't understand about females (and I am one) is all the caddiness. Drives me nutty. I prefer to have male friends. Relationships are usually pretty straight forward with no hidden agenda, I don't worry about being gossiped about and I don't have to constantly be afraid of hurting their feelings because something didn't come out quite right. Women tend to be easily offended at nothing, imo/ime.

Good thing I'm not a lesbian because I'd never have a long term relationship.

[iJon]

"Oh (insert name here), you're so nice and sweet," when they wouldn't ever date you!! Sure, you're great together, and she thinks you're nice, but noooo, she wouldn't date you! I'm not in that situation right now, but I have been in the past, and it has always made me think, "Why not give it a try!?" :confused:
I'll answer and it's plain and simple. You have already fallen in her category of friends zone. I discussed this alot when Daveman made a thread. I answered and most people seemed to agree with me, even the ladies. women like a challenge, someone that is hard to get, things along those lines. yes you are sweet and all those things, but thats not necessarily what she wants. you guys complain that they always tell you about their jerk boyfriends and all that stuff. its not really that they like jerks. they like spontaneous, mainly confident men who know how to have a good time. these are traits that jerks usually portray, not necessarly her galpal (you) who she complains to everyday and is a "brother" to her. most men who complain about this aren't the most confident, let girls walk over them, and cater to the girls early on in when they first meet, where all romantic interests are lost. that is my opinion in a nutshell and i feel i am right, but feel free to disagree, i always love a good debate.

iJon

[Kingsnapped]

::snip::
The problem with ladder/point theory is that if men and women date or only people with comparable point totals, why bother dumping Jane for Connie at all? They're probably both around the same point total anyway! So when a friend says that you're nice and sweet, but would never really consider dating you, well since you both probably score near the same point total, why not hook up? :confused:

Because the man wants to sleep with somebody else! Jane is "conquored," and Connie is fresh meat. That's how the stereotype goes anyways.

[AmigoMac]

To make happy a woman, you need to love her, say how beautiful she is, how nice the dress passes to her, comment about her body and how wonderful is becoming everyday, open every door for her, invite her at least once a week for dinner outside, have time with her family on weekends, her mother may also come suddenly to visit you, money for her and her best friend and her little brother, listen to her about every stupid TV program she likes, repair her parents PC , worst ... her ex-boyfriend's PC, because they are only friends and it doesn't mean anything for her... and ask twice a day if she wants something for the day, ask early in the morning and at noon, her opinion changes fast and you may not miss that...

But, take care, don't give that the whole time, because she will feel a perfect and boring world where everything is given and done, then she will go away with the first "SON OF A B*TCH" who just wants to f*ck with her ...... :cool:

[mj_1903]

I think your first job is to define "girls". I have dated girls that range from the barbie doll to the ultimate Tom boy.

For instance, right now my eyes are set on a girl who does not want love, is stunningly beautiful but only cares about a beautiful mind.

Are there things I don't understand her? Well, no. She makes sense all the time, although I do have a lot of experience with women.

I think that the media does a darn good job of convincing men that women are hard to work out. Too often I header the standard "women..." and grunts of acceptance. I have never had to think that, they just make sense.

On the other hand I know I would be confusing to girls. I am fairly closed, am exceptionally stubborn and I don't really care what other people think too much. People don't get to know me well unless I let them, and I am sure that can be daunting.

[Applespider]

Our brains work differently. We women think about everything - we analyse things too much, we assume that whenever guys are quiet, they must be thinking about something, and start prodding to find out what. Meanwhile the poor bloke is sitting there just chilling out - not even thinking about 'thinking' until we ask him what's up.

Guys on the other hand assume that women are sitting chilling when we're really stressed out and want someone to ask us what's wrong.

I know a lot of women who treat their men like crap and they go panting back for more. I also know a lot of nice women who don't have menfolk (and no, that's not just because they only have a good personality) and wonder whether perhaps the 'treat like crap' is the way to go?

[Roger1]

This thread is waayy too deep for a Tuesday morning (6:45). Maybe tonight after a couple of beverages I can sit down and read it.

[yellow]

What I don't understand about females (and I am one) is all the caddiness. Drives me nutty.
I prefer to have male friends.

One of the reasons I married my wife :)

[howard]

i understand girls pretty well and because of that have been in a long lasting and a lot of times long distance relationship.

btw: the ladder theory is complete crap as far as 97% of the cases go, but it is funny to read and take lightly

[yellow]

btw: the ladder theory is complete crap as far as 97% of the cases go, but it is funny to read and take lightly

Sounds like you're a "hot/hunky/rich/smart/stupid/bad-boy"! :D

[jihad the movie]

Wet Hot American Summer really put things into perspective for me. Just check out this movie quote...

Katie: Listen, Coop. Last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this. Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and ---- his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you.


Yeah, that is pretty much where I am locked into things. All the girls who are interested in me are either not my type, or slutty. The girls I like, really like me, but are more concerned about getting porked by "super hot" guys who treat them like garbage. Bah. When will they ever learn?

[Abstract]

See, I don't like that attitude with girls. Lots of girls are that way. Its almost like they want to be with nice guys, but want to hang out with guys they feel are more fun until they get older, when they want to settle down. I have a problem with this because they use people until it suits them to go out with someone for real.

So they use one type of guy in their youth, ditch them when they're older, and go out with the other type because it's beneficial for them as a lifestyle choice. Its almost like a girl who dates a guy for money, except socially acceptable because its done so regularly. Its almost like they say, "Oh, he'll be around later when I want to settle down, so for now, I'll just enjoy myself until I need to settle down with a nice guy with a decent job."

@Yellow: You lucky mofo. :p

[broken_keyboard]

(1) Guys are easy to understand. We want what makes us happy/comfortable now. Food, shelter, clothing. We take the easy way. We live "now".

Speak for yourself dude. What you describe - living in the moment, caring only about food and shelter - is how an animal thinks, not a man. Men do things like flying to the Moon and building 100 story buildings signing 30 year contracts. I find it quite insulting what you wrote.

[Applespider]

I have a problem with this because they use people until it suits them to go out with someone for real.


Course the same thing happens in reverse with some women. They settle down with a bloke, have a few rugrats then the guy has a midlife crisis and wanders off with a 20 year old who - true to the above - is after the older man who can spoil them show em a good time with no danger of having to settle down...

You're right - all women are evil! :confused:

[yellow]

slutty

Ah.. I remember high school.. fondly.

[Frink]

iJon seems to have the right idea. From what I've seen and experienced women generally go for a spontanious, confident, funny/cocky, challenging guy. Girls don't want a wuss/suck-up for a boyfriend. i.e. always complementing them, always bringing them gifts, always trying to take them to and pay for their dinner. Yeah, it's good to do these things occasionally, but do it too often and you'll be labled as just another predictable guy. For the most part, the more predictable you become, the less attraction she feels for you.

Just for fun, try treating a woman like your bratty little sister. You'd be surprised at the results.

Here's a site on dating that I would recommend to every guy I know: www.doubleyourdating.com (not quite sure how to make the hyperlink). They have a free newsletter (and of course the "Please buy me" e-book) that I've been subscribed to for just over a year, and it's got some seriously great tips, techniques, and enlighenments on women. You have to sign up to the newsletter to get into the main site, but it's certainly worth it. You can also go to http://www.datingtechniques.com/alt/advancedseries/ where they have some free video samples.

(ok, so it automatically made the hyperlink. Yay.)

[jsw]

Speak for yourself dude. What you describe - living in the moment, caring only about food and shelter - is how an animal thinks, not a man. Men do things like flying to the Moon and building 100 story buildings signing 30 year contracts. I find it quite insulting what you wrote.
You're right. I forgot to include that men also like to play with toys and build giant phallic symbols.

Men do not, however, tend to dream of weddings, pine for children, or spend a whole lot of time working on relationships. Relationships exist primarily because of women. This is a compliment to women, not an insult.

[jayscheuerle]

Just enjoy them.

I don't have to understand how my motorcycle works in order to appreciate the ride. There's something to be said about mystique and the unknowable. Expect the unpredictable, but don't try to predict it. Realize you have no idea what's coming around the next corner. Be prepared to duck.

[broken_keyboard]

You're right. I forgot to include that men also like to play with toys and build giant phallic symbols.

A 100 storey building requires years of planning, financing, design. I guess that blasts your theory that men are creates of the "now."

Also, a space ship is not a toy. It is only the existence of real things that even makes the concept of a "toy" possible. The toy is defined in opposition to the real thing it mimics, thus the space ship is not only not a toy, it is the exact opposite of one.

[jayscheuerle]

You're right. I forgot to include that men also like to play with toys and build giant phallic symbols.


Please remember that rockets and submarines are shaped that way not to pay homage to the noble penis, but because they are functionally similar in that they must smoothly glide through either air, water or vaginas.

[gwuMACaddict]

Just enjoy them.

I don't have to understand how my motorcycle works in order to appreciate the ride. There's something to be said about mystique and the unknowable. Expect the unpredictable, but don't try to predict it. Realize you have no idea what's coming around the next corner. Be prepared to duck.


this is the most profound post in this thread yet. i dont know about anyone else, but these threads where all the computer heads come to discus women just crack me up. :D

[emw]

... but these threads where all the computer heads come to discus women just crack me up. :D

So bring it back to what we can all relate to. Macs and PCs. Will a Mac ever truly understand a PC? Probably not. Have Macs tried to understand PCs? Sure - they can talk to each other, share files, hell they've even gone so far as to attempt to emulate them, albeit a poor semblance of the original (Virtual PC).

PCs have also tried to understand Macs, although the emulation was never all that fantastic.

I will make no comments as to which gender may be comparable to the Mac.

But in the end, the OS is just different. That's not bad, it's a matter of expectations. The focus is not understanding as much as acknowledgement that differences exist, that they will always exist. If you expect that a Mac and a PC will ever completely understand each other, you'll continue to be disappointed.

But every now and then there will be those moments when things just work. You won't know why, and you'll probably never remember the system settings that got you there, but hey - sometimes you gotta take a chance.

BTW - I've managed to keep a Mac and PC networked for 8 1/2 years now...

[iJon]

See, I don't like that attitude with girls. Lots of girls are that way. Its almost like they want to be with nice guys, but want to hang out with guys they feel are more fun until they get older, when they want to settle down. I have a problem with this because they use people until it suits them to go out with someone for real.

So they use one type of guy in their youth, ditch them when they're older, and go out with the other type because it's beneficial for them as a lifestyle choice. Its almost like a girl who dates a guy for money, except socially acceptable because its done so regularly. Its almost like they say, "Oh, he'll be around later when I want to settle down, so for now, I'll just enjoy myself until I need to settle down with a nice guy with a decent job."

@Yellow: You lucky mofo. :punderstandable, but the key is not to put up with girls like this. i will give you a prime example. this year in high school i became very interested with a good friend of mine since 9th grade. she was currently dating the most worthless guy (2nd year senior, didn't even have a driver's license) but at the same time she was showing interest in me. one day she even told me online "i am the type of guy she would want to marry (usually a bad thing but can be good as well) and that she felt it may be to late and she made the wrong decision with her current bf. Now i went to her house and made her choose, she choose the loser.

now i could have been like,"you know, this is a great girl and i can wait for when she is ready." but no, i got my balls together and just said forget her, any girl who is willing to do that behind her current bf's back is not worth my time.

later that year the broke up and showed interest in me again, but i didn't give her the time of day.

pretty much all im saying is if you continue to be the nice guy you will hear that alot. but if you change your approach on some things you will have more relationships and get a chance to pick and choose what works best for you.

iJon

[Judy Season]

The nice thing? Well, we are suspicious of it... it is the "too good to be true" problem.

What I don't understand about females (and I am one) is all the caddiness. Drives me nutty. I prefer to have male friends. Relationships are usually pretty straight forward with no hidden agenda, I don't worry about being gossiped about and I don't have to constantly be afraid of hurting their feelings because something didn't come out quite right. Women tend to be easily offended at nothing, imo/ime.

Good thing I'm not a lesbian because I'd never have a long term relationship.
Quite agree! I prefer to have male friends since i entered university.Coz there're always jealous,gossip and something like among girls.
When girls say "you are nice,but...",some of them are honest and don't wanna hurt your self-esteem. Others give you a little bit hope,then you won't give up in a short term. But in fact, you add you into the second string list, and compare with other girls'.

[vraxtus]

Heh, oh so true. :)

I knew about the ladder theory, except a slightly different version where we all get points for certain attributes, and men only date women around their own point total. Say a guy has a score of 72 points. Such a man only has a realistic chance of dating someone within +5 or -5 points from this total, or between 67 and 77 points. Generally, I think this point system is accurate, although the fickle bunch aims way too high and never gets together with anyone. :o
Plus girls tend to hang out with other girls near their own point total, which is why hot girls will naturally hang out with each other. The hot girls who hang out mainly with lower scoring girls probably have a self-esteem issue. :p

The problem with ladder/point theory is that if men and women date or only people with comparable point totals, why bother dumping Jane for Connie at all? They're probably both around the same point total anyway! So when a friend says that you're nice and sweet, but would never really consider dating you, well since you both probably score near the same point total, why not hook up? :confused:



Not true at all. My gf right now is probably 20-30 points higher than me on that scale, but we're still going out.

Now here's the problem to contend to.

Men are logical beings.

Women are not.

This inherently creates problems with any type of social interaction, because men and women just don't always see eye to eye on everday issues. They may come close but just about 99.9999999% of relationships have some problem or another. If you're not... well, then that's usually the case where one party is willing to complete cede to the other, which IMO is a very stupid thing to do.

As for not understanding women... you can't understand them because you're not one. I can't understand how my high maintaintence gf always wants me to pay for more and bring her flowers and treat her out to nice nice places when 1) we are college students and 2) I don't have a job during the school year. Women, I'd say moreso than men, are much more inherently self-centered when it comes to a relationship.

[vraxtus]

So bring it back to what we can all relate to. Macs and PCs. Will a Mac ever truly understand a PC? Probably not. Have Macs tried to understand PCs? Sure - they can talk to each other, share files, hell they've even gone so far as to attempt to emulate them, albeit a poor semblance of the original (Virtual PC).

PCs have also tried to understand Macs, although the emulation was never all that fantastic.

I will make no comments as to which gender may be comparable to the Mac.

But in the end, the OS is just different. That's not bad, it's a matter of expectations. The focus is not understanding as much as acknowledgement that differences exist, that they will always exist. If you expect that a Mac and a PC will ever completely understand each other, you'll continue to be disappointed.

But every now and then there will be those moments when things just work. You won't know why, and you'll probably never remember the system settings that got you there, but hey - sometimes you gotta take a chance.

BTW - I've managed to keep a Mac and PC networked for 8 1/2 years now...


I bet you're single.

[vraxtus]

pretty much all im saying is if you continue to be the nice guy you will hear that alot. but if you change your approach on some things you will have more relationships and get a chance to pick and choose what works best for you.

iJon


I agree.

When it comes to women, the most applicable line is: nice guys always finish last.

Women like decisive, able men... not the wishy-washy-and-often-feeble-nice type guy. I'd know, I used to be one of those nice guys also :D

But I grew up... high school was not my scene. College life is about 1,000,000x better in terms of meeting women and developing your ability to talk, relate, get to know and either go out with or hook up with women.

But when it comes down to it, you can't be the quiet nerd always sitting in the corner or at the school computer's posting on this forum. If you want something, or someone, you need to go out and make it happen... no if's and's or but's... just do it.

[Raid]

Heh, I read the title and was trying to fathom why the post count was lower than 500. I see this one going as high as "the drunk thread". :)

I've got no sure fire method of understanding women, but treat them as individuals an learn accordingly. Everyone will be different... and that's most of the fun! ;)

No more boy meets girl / boy loses girl.
More like man tries to figure out what the hell went wrong!

[rainman::|:|]

Okay, okay, i know my opinion isn't valid here, but I'm giving it anyway. I have no problem understanding women or the motives for their actions. Most of my friends are female, and i relate to them in different ways, but I'm never perplexed by them. Of course, I'm not trying to sleep with them either.

My boss said to me recently, "gay guys are so lucky because you get to know what a woman is thinking". He pointed out that women treat gay guys like other women, in terms of what they'll tell them, how they act, etc. So, growing up this way, I was never regarded by women as "the enemy". I'm always the first one to know if a guy was bad in bed, if she's having a bad period, or if her mom is being a bitch. They adjust their underwires in front of me.

Point is, gentlemen, the best way to a woman's heart is to find her gay male friend :D

paul

[yellow]

Point is, gentlemen, the best way to a woman's heart is to find her gay male friend :D

LOL!!!!!

Does that mean then that I won't have to answer questions like: "What color should the new drapes be in our bedroom? Does it match our bedding?"

To which I MUST answer: "I don't give a rat's @$$. I sleep there. What do I care what color it is?"

You, sir, might be the answer to a married man's prayers! :)

[emw]

I bet you're single.

Ouch, that hurts! ;)

Luckily my wife appreciates my humor (such that it is) more than you do. Or, at least, she's put up with it for 10 years.

[vraxtus]

Ouch, that hurts! ;)

Luckily my wife appreciates my humor (such that it is) more than you do. Or, at least, she's put up with it for 10 years.

Well, there's hope for us yet! :D :p

[Kingsnapped]

I was waiting for Paul's comment here, I was just kind of afraid to ask for it. Thank you, sir.

[dethl]

Nice thread going on here :P

Anyway, my 2 cents:
I understand most girls up to the point where I realize they're being hypocritical. At college, I'm friends with a girl who decided to date a friend of mine. This was good and all, but then she started complaining that he wasn't doing X, Y, or Z. I'd just shake my head and listen. Later on, she'd say that she wants to dump him, and 24 hours later (after talking and whatnot), she's "deeply in love" with the guy again. Note that this happened probably around 5 or 6 times during their relationship (I think around 5 or 6 months). They finally did break up, and it still hasn't bode well for me....I'm caught in the middle of two friends who don't really like each other and I'm being forced to choose, not fun.

[jsw]

A 100 storey building requires years of planning, financing, design. I guess that blasts your theory that men are creates of the "now."

Also, a space ship is not a toy. It is only the existence of real things that even makes the concept of a "toy" possible. The toy is defined in opposition to the real thing it mimics, thus the space ship is not only not a toy, it is the exact opposite of one.
Good grief, man. First, I'm primarily talking about men in relationships - and I've yet to see any evidence that men, in general, tend to plan for the future of relationships beyond the "if I don't get anything for her for our anniversary, I'm toast" level of planning - and that's usually the day before the event (see malls on Xmas eve). Second, I'm reasonably familiar with what a toy is. And finally, this is all tongue-in-cheek for me.

[jsw]

Please remember that rockets and submarines are shaped that way not to pay homage to the noble penis, but because they are functionally similar in that they must smoothly glide through either air, water or vaginas.
Yeah, after getting two degrees in Aeronautical Engineering, I'm reasonably familiar with that concept. Whether or not it was intended, your post makes me laugh - in a good way. Something about the noble penis gliding through the vagina. Seems like an advertising firm's take on sex ed. ;)

[Neserk]

Of course, I'm not trying to sleep with them either.



A woman's dream come true! Especially a married woman. A guy she can be friends with that her husband won't be jealous of!

[Abstract]

Okay okay:

@Paul: So are you the gay friend, or are you pretending to be gay! I don't want to actually pretend to be gay to hook up. Why would they hook up with a gay guy, and why would I want to know if someone's having a bad period! :p

About the non-planning ahead business: Yes, men have developed skyscrapers, and that takes 30 years or so of planning or whatever # of years you mentioned, but the point is that men don't plan ahead. Saying, "I want a skyscraper built here," is still planning for the short-term, because men don't generally care about things that....say....will affect the environment. Men don't care about buying a Ford Mustang despite the fact that any new Ford is going to break down in a few years anyway. Why? Because they can have fun with the car NOW!!

Not true at all. My gf right now is probably 20-30 points higher than me on that scale, but we're still going out.

<snip>
..... I can't understand how my high maintaintence gf always wants me to pay for more and bring her flowers and treat her out to nice nice places when 1) we are college students and 2) I don't have a job during the school year. Women, I'd say moreso than men, are much more inherently self-centered when it comes to a relationship.

And you wonder why she's.........naw, I'm not even going to go there. :p

[Roger1]

Please remember that rockets and submarines are shaped that way not to pay homage to the noble penis, but because they are functionally similar in that they must smoothly glide through either air, water or vaginas.

Don't they all have something to do with thrust?? :p

[Daveman Deluxe]

I've learned that it's not such a bad position to be in when a girl won't go out with you. Nine times out of ten, I don't want to go out with her either. :p It's hard to look at it that way, but this year I finally realized that it's true. I know that it can hurt to be rejected by the girl you would love, so why would I wish that on somebody else? Besides, I think it's a good thing to have close platonic friends (if you believe that's possible). I have a couple of very close friends who are girls. Am I the "gay friend"? Yes. Does that bother me? No--that's just the way things turned out and they aren't really people I want to go out with (I used to with one of them, but I became good friends with her after I lost interest).

I've also learned that if you ARE interested in a girl, it's important to be nice, but for the love of God, DON'T be a doormat. Stand up for yourself. Make yourself clear about what you want, to an extent (the extent varies with each relationship). Be polite, but don't hang all over her and cater to her every whim and desire. If things go on for awhile, it'll be more appropriate to start spending more time and energy on her, but don't get wrapped around her finger at first. I can't explain why, and I don't think anybody else can either, but that turns a girl off. Regardless, I don't think it's healthy to invest that much early in a relationship anyway.

[Kingsnapped]

Okay okay:

@Paul: So are you the gay friend, or are you pretending to be gay! I don't want to actually pretend to be gay to hook up. Why would they hook up with a gay guy, and why would I want to know if someone's having a bad period! ::snip::

I can see it now. "Melissa, you know very well that I'm homosexual.. but around you.. I get these feelings. I don't know how to describe it. (sighs) Oh well, it's probably nothing..."

The rest writes itself!

[Neserk]

When relating to females it is best simply to treat them as equals. If you put them on a pedastal they will come to believe they belong there and you are going to end up losing yourself. If you treat them like dirt, well, that is just wrong. No one should be treated like dirt.

Think equal!

[wdlove]

I agree.

When it comes to women, the most applicable line is: nice guys always finish last.

Women like decisive, able men... not the wishy-washy-and-often-feeble-nice type guy. I'd know, I used to be one of those nice guys also :D

But I grew up... high school was not my scene. College life is about 1,000,000x better in terms of meeting women and developing your ability to talk, relate, get to know and either go out with or hook up with women.

But when it comes down to it, you can't be the quiet nerd always sitting in the corner or at the school computer's posting on this forum. If you want something, or someone, you need to go out and make it happen... no if's and's or but's... just do it.

When it comes to nice guys always finishing last, I consider myself to be a nice guy. I did real well with finding my wife. The relationship has lasted almost 32 years. I'm not the real decisive type at home.

[jsw]

When it comes to nice guys always finishing last, I consider myself to be a nice guy. I did real well with finding my wife. The relationship has lasted almost 32 years. I'm not the real decisive type at home.
Based on your posts alone, you're one of the nicest guys around. Congratulations on your marriage!

[iJon]

I've learned that it's not such a bad position to be in when a girl won't go out with you. Nine times out of ten, I don't want to go out with her either. :p It's hard to look at it that way, but this year I finally realized that it's true. I know that it can hurt to be rejected by the girl you would love, so why would I wish that on somebody else? Besides, I think it's a good thing to have close platonic friends (if you believe that's possible). I have a couple of very close friends who are girls. Am I the "gay friend"? Yes. Does that bother me? No--that's just the way things turned out and they aren't really people I want to go out with (I used to with one of them, but I became good friends with her after I lost interest).

I've also learned that if you ARE interested in a girl, it's important to be nice, but for the love of God, DON'T be a doormat. Stand up for yourself. Make yourself clear about what you want, to an extent (the extent varies with each relationship). Be polite, but don't hang all over her and cater to her every whim and desire. If things go on for awhile, it'll be more appropriate to start spending more time and energy on her, but don't get wrapped around her finger at first. I can't explain why, and I don't think anybody else can either, but that turns a girl off. Regardless, I don't think it's healthy to invest that much early in a relationship anyway.
clap clap. you got the picture daveman. i remember our good ol thread back months ago. being a gal pal to select few is ok sometimes, depends on your preference. its just from now one you want to prevent being every girls gal pal.

iJon

[vniow]

This thread confuses the living hell out of me.

[janey]

This thread confuses the living hell out of me.
agreed.

and really, whoever's whinging about human superiority, please stop. yeah that's your own opinion, but telling someone else that you're offended by something liek that is just ridiculous. nobody's debating that right now, and if you could keep it to yourself (all the comments about being offended, i mean) it would be much appreciated.

[Neserk]

agreed.

and really, whoever's whinging about human superiority, please stop. yeah that's your own opinion, but telling someone else that you're offended by something liek that is just ridiculous. nobody's debating that right now, and if you could keep it to yourself (all the comments about being offended, i mean) it would be much appreciated.


:confused:

[janey]

:confused:
someone mentioned phallic symbols and being offended that men were compared to animals and that men shouldnt because of something to do with 100 story buildings and 30 year contracts. Ugh.

[Neserk]

someone mentioned phallic symbols and being offended that men were compared to animals and that men shouldnt because of something to do with 100 story buildings and 30 year contracts. Ugh.


ahhhhhhh...

[Daveman Deluxe]

clap clap. you got the picture daveman. i remember our good ol thread back months ago. being a gal pal to select few is ok sometimes, depends on your preference. its just from now one you want to prevent being every girls gal pal.

Right. I think that what's missing in a lot of peoples' minds is that being the "gay friend" or "gal pal" or "brother" or whatever can be rewarding--it's just that if you're interested in the girl in question, it hurts a LOT. Unfortunately, I think a lot of guys tend to equate being the gal pal with being jilted. I've got news for those guys: You're not being rejected. You're being accepted by the girl in question--just in a different way than the society wants us to think is "normal". When my friendship with the girl I now consider like a sister to me was starting to go deeper, everybody thought we were going to start going out. Didn't happen. About a month ago she started dating another guy and lots of people were saying that I should forge a distance between us. I told them all to piss off. :D People don't get it when a guy and a girl really are just really good friends, and that's unfortunate. I think guys miss out on some very rewarding friendships when they fail to see that as being possible.

[Mord]

Abstract, that's the thing I probably understand least about girls as well. If I'm so nice and sweet, why not give me a chance?

Furthermore, why is it assumed by girls that just because I'm not always funny and sometimes not even friendly, that I'm not a person who needs friendship and affection and love just as much as the other guy over there? Just because I'm not outgoing and gregarious doesn't mean I don't like a hug every now and then too. :o

ditto

[Mord]

Okay, okay, i know my opinion isn't valid here, but I'm giving it anyway. I have no problem understanding women or the motives for their actions. Most of my friends are female, and i relate to them in different ways, but I'm never perplexed by them. Of course, I'm not trying to sleep with them either.

My boss said to me recently, "gay guys are so lucky because you get to know what a woman is thinking". He pointed out that women treat gay guys like other women, in terms of what they'll tell them, how they act, etc. So, growing up this way, I was never regarded by women as "the enemy". I'm always the first one to know if a guy was bad in bed, if she's having a bad period, or if her mom is being a bitch. They adjust their underwires in front of me.

Point is, gentlemen, the best way to a woman's heart is to find her gay male friend :D

paul

or become an "honorary woman" it is possible for a straight guy to have many friends who are girls who open up to them like that i would know I'm one of them, either that or I'm gay but just don't know it which i highly doubt.

[carbonmotion]

You're right. I forgot to include that men also like to play with toys and build giant phallic symbols.

Men do not, however, tend to dream of weddings, pine for children, or spend a whole lot of time working on relationships. Relationships exist primarily because of women. This is a compliment to women, not an insult.

femminist theorists would disagree.

[carbonmotion]

When relating to females it is best simply to treat them as equals. If you put them on a pedastal they will come to believe they belong there and you are going to end up losing yourself. If you treat them like dirt, well, that is just wrong. No one should be treated like dirt.

Think equal!
which, gasp, is what feminist theory is saying all along.

[Neserk]

which, gasp, is what feminist theory is saying all along.


I know! Can you believe it???? :p