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mactastic
May 7, 2010, 06:51 PM
For reals: (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2977772/lack_of_caution_resulted_in_lord_jesus.html)
Lord Jesus Christ was run over as he used a crosswalk to cross the street in Northampton, Ma, according to the Washington Post. The woman who was driving the car that hit Christ has been cited for running down the man...

...

Thankfully Christ was not hurt too badly, and I am sure this is a day Cantarella will remember for a long time.

Chundles
May 7, 2010, 06:55 PM
He must have forgotten to turn the other cheek. He'd have seen the car otherwise.

.Andy
May 7, 2010, 06:55 PM
The second coming is a lot less elaborate than I had been led to believe.

RedTomato
May 7, 2010, 07:17 PM
God shoots, Jesus saves.

fotografica
May 7, 2010, 07:54 PM
Been making the rounds on the local news around here..He probably was floating a foot off the ground before he stepped off the curb..

Mugambo
May 7, 2010, 08:11 PM
Thats exactly why "He" was supposed to walk like everyone else and not float in the air.

Lord Blackadder
May 7, 2010, 08:27 PM
Odd that he needed hospital treatment, though there is no biblical evidence that healing powers can be directed upon onesself.

It appears that this man has literally taken the Lord's name in vain, in that his name is Lord Jesus Christ - but he was still injured.

weckart
May 8, 2010, 11:30 AM
Any excuse...

Jesus will survive (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLKk00OYKhU)

Renese-Williams
May 8, 2010, 02:36 PM
That's one hell of a name. :p

duncyboy
May 8, 2010, 04:20 PM
Before the night is out, one of you will crack me with a Y-reg Astra...

mactastic
May 8, 2010, 08:33 PM
That's one hell of a name. :p
I once made a business card for a man who's legal name was Shalom Dreampeace Compost. Some kind of county employee position. :p

Lord Blackadder
May 8, 2010, 09:30 PM
I once made a business card for a man who's legal name was Shalom Dreampeace Compost. Some kind of county employee position. :p

Sounds like a damned dirty hippie to me. Maybe he worked in recycling?

yg17
May 8, 2010, 09:49 PM
Was he taken to the hospital on this?

http://i44.tinypic.com/vie0pe.jpg

I'm going to hell....

Counterfit
May 9, 2010, 02:38 PM
^ Took me a second to get that. :D

God shoots, Jesus saves.


Gretzky scores on the rebound.




Jesus saves, Moses invests.

Bonch
May 10, 2010, 11:33 PM
http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e362/st33ve0/ice-cube-ak47-fishing-pole.jpg

Surely
May 10, 2010, 11:39 PM
^^^^^ He's just following the money.......


Was he taken to the hospital on this?

http://i44.tinypic.com/vie0pe.jpg

I'm going to hell....

Not if you don't believe in hell.......:D



I saw Jesus at Cedars Sinai Hospital a few weeks ago..... he was holding a cell phone and reading the bulletin board.

RawBert
May 11, 2010, 12:02 AM
Wait, that wasn't the real Jesus... Right? :confused:
He, like, just has the same name, right??? :o
I mean, why would Jesus get run over? He like, would've known it was coming.
*hits bong*

Gregg2
May 11, 2010, 09:03 AM
Not if you don't believe in hell.......:D

Ah, metaphysical subjective idealism! So, that tree doesn't make a sound, eh? ;)

TJRiver
May 12, 2010, 10:46 AM
The real question is who is Jesus using for his personal injury attorney?:p

MacBoobsPro
May 12, 2010, 10:49 AM
Has anyone seen his dad?

eawmp1
May 12, 2010, 11:00 AM
Wouldn't have happened if god had been the driver's co-pilot ;)

Renese-Williams
May 20, 2010, 02:28 PM
I once made a business card for a man who's legal name was Shalom Dreampeace Compost. Some kind of county employee position. :p

Oh wow. xD

patrick0brien
May 20, 2010, 03:08 PM
That's one hell of a name. :p

It's the end result of the mother being asked what the child's name is while she's still in labor.

mscriv
May 20, 2010, 03:39 PM
I want to know what words were used in the seconds before the accident.

Driver: Jesus Christ! Get out of the way!!!

Pedestrian/Victim: Oh my God!

Screeching tires......... CRASH!!!

Dr Kevorkian94
May 25, 2010, 04:52 PM
I hope he forgave him for she does not know what she had done.

But seriously who names there child lord Jesus Christ (exept for the real Jesus of corse) how do u go through life like that.

killerrobot
May 25, 2010, 04:58 PM
Well I'm pretty sure she could sleep with him and get all her sins absolved.

Yes I went there.

BittenApple
May 25, 2010, 05:59 PM
Did it go something like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVseBfMq_Dc)?

Sydde
May 25, 2010, 09:37 PM
Wait, that wasn't the real Jesus... Right? :confused:

Of course not, we all know that the real Jesus died on the crosswalk.

flopticalcube
May 25, 2010, 09:38 PM
Of course not, we all know that the real Jesus died on the crosswalk.
groan.....:p

RedTomato
May 26, 2010, 03:06 AM
But seriously who names there child lord Jesus Christ (exept for the real Jesus of corse) how do u go through life like that.

IIRC Jesus was his name, and Christ was a honorific given to him later by his church. 'Jesus' itself means 'God delivers (or rescues)' so it would be a relatively normal name to give to a baby in turbulent times. It's still a common name in latin catholic countries.

Dr Kevorkian94
May 27, 2010, 05:36 PM
IIRC Jesus was his name, and Christ was a honorific given to him later by his church. 'Jesus' itself means 'God delivers (or rescues)' so it would be a relatively normal name to give to a baby in turbulent times. It's still a common name in latin catholic countries.

I know that but the thing I was referring to was the lord part and the christ part. I know many people are named Jesus. But this guys full name is lord Jesus Christ.

Cheffy Dave
May 28, 2010, 08:59 AM
Has anyone seen his dad?

LMAOAWMP:D

Gasu E.
May 28, 2010, 12:08 PM
"Brittany Cantarella" LOL what a stupid name

Jaro65
May 29, 2010, 10:45 PM
The second coming is a lot less elaborate than I had been led to believe.

ROFL!