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View Full Version : Tiger pays $750,000,000


obeygiant
Jul 1, 2010, 11:36 AM
wwtdd (http://www.wwtdd.com/2010/06/elin-nordegren-is-about-to-make-750000000-part-2/)
It looked like a typo last week when it was reported that Tiger Woods would have to pay out 750 million dollars in a divorce settlement to Elin Nordegren, because are you god damn kidding me. But no, according to the Sun it’s right, because that’s what it cost for Tiger to buy Elins silence, even after his death.

ELIN NORDEGREN, 30, gets the biggest payout ever seen in a celebrity divorce.
“The price of the huge sum is her silence: no interviews, tell-all books, or TV appearances about this for the rest of her life - even if Tiger dies first - or she’ll lose the lot.”
A pal said: “Tiger’s main fear is her telling her story after he’s rebuilt his reputation, sending him back to the gutter.”

The article also says Tiger is not allowed to have any of his whores I mean girlfriends near his kids, ever, or at least until he marries one of them.

Under the no-girlfriends deal, only married women not romantically linked to Tiger will be allowed around the children - plus female members of staff known to Elin.

Wow women really are evil. So basically Elin has arranged for the kids to think their dad is gay now, and Tiger spent 750,000,000 dollars as part of the deal. I’m not so sure he really thought this through.

That a lot of... DOH! Only I heard (http://www.forbes.com/2009/05/06/richest-black-americans-busienss-billionaires-richest-black-americans.html) Tiger's net worth is only $600 mil.

Bonch
Jul 1, 2010, 11:55 AM
Oh well maybe she'll blow it all and jump start the world economy.

Consultant
Jul 1, 2010, 04:38 PM
If it had been me, I would have said "***** the reputation, I have hundreds of millions of dollars that I can now spend on chicks, who cares what the old bag tells to the media."
Cheers,

Ahmed

Well, he gets money from sponsorships and that depends on his reputation.

But yeah, signing ALL his money away does not make sense, unless he really cares for his kids.

rdowns
Jul 1, 2010, 05:08 PM
She obviously knows things that haven't been made public. This buys her silence. Speculation has been steroid use or gay affairs.

dukebound85
Jul 1, 2010, 05:09 PM
holy ****!!

elpmas
Jul 1, 2010, 05:17 PM
lol. this is bs. -_-

CorvusCamenarum
Jul 1, 2010, 06:35 PM
I'm forced to wonder exactly what she did to "deserve" that much of his present and future earnings (other than beat the tar out of him with a 7 iron). Yes, he broke the marriage contract and should be penalized for that, but this seems...excessive.

jav6454
Jul 1, 2010, 06:39 PM
Wow, just wow. The guy was left in the ruin after this payout.

I bet this is her face after the pay out terms were signed:

tigres
Jul 1, 2010, 06:39 PM
Gluttony.
Excessive
Ridiculous-

And one hell of a bad lawyer. Or good depending on which side.

jav6454
Jul 1, 2010, 06:45 PM
Gluttony.
Excessive
Ridiculous-

And one hell of a bad lawyer. Or good depending on which side.

Imagine the payout for that lawyer on her side.

obeygiant
Jul 1, 2010, 06:55 PM
Imagine the payout for that lawyer on her side.

Its probably not just a lawyer, but a firm. I think the legal fees are up to 40% of the sum awarded.

dukebound85
Jul 1, 2010, 06:58 PM
Its probably not just a lawyer, but a firm. I think the legal fees are up to 40% of the sum awarded.

holy ****!!!

jav6454
Jul 1, 2010, 07:01 PM
holy ****!!!

I just **** my pants

Consultant
Jul 1, 2010, 07:38 PM
I just **** my pants

Jizz in your pants?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY

QCassidy352
Jul 1, 2010, 09:30 PM
I didn't know he even had $750M. It's staggering that she could get that much. What could she possibly know that's worth that much?

Bonch
Jul 2, 2010, 12:31 AM
The dude was a necrophiliac. Seriously. Read between the lines. I'd want it kept secret. That, and all the murders.

Judge not my fellow mac enthusiasts. We all have our dark secrets.

rhett7660
Jul 2, 2010, 12:38 AM
I just **** my pants

Jizz in your pants?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY

Classic...... That is a hell of a lot of money. Good lord. Any bets she gets a better deal and says screw the money... he use to do the ...............

Abstract
Jul 2, 2010, 03:24 AM
She knows too much about his obsessions and infidelities. The stories involving the midget contortionists, capes, yo-yos, spiked paddles, Carrot-Top DVDs, and dead unicorns would ruin his career.

iBlue
Jul 2, 2010, 03:30 AM
That's the most expensive silence I've ever, uh, heard of.

ucfgrad93
Jul 2, 2010, 09:47 AM
I'm forced to wonder exactly what she did to "deserve" that much of his present and future earnings (other than beat the tar out of him with a 7 iron). Yes, he broke the marriage contract and should be penalized for that, but this seems...excessive.

Agreed. She must know some pretty embarrassing things about him to get this sort of payoff.

arkitect
Jul 2, 2010, 09:49 AM
Well she certainly picked the right law firm…

She gets most (if not all) of his money and gets to keep his balls in her handbag.

Impressive.

vespagirl
Jul 2, 2010, 10:00 AM
At this point, does anyone really care what dark secrets he may have? The man is mortal just like the rest of us...how utterly shocking. If it means that much to him and he pays it, shame on him. He could very easily tell her to go pound sand and who cares if she leaks his secrets. It'll all be yesterday's news soon enough and he should know that by now.

Melrose
Jul 2, 2010, 10:44 AM
"Women are evil"? How about "He was married, he shouldn't have slept around" ?

She knows too much about his obsessions and infidelities. The stories involving the midget contortionists, capes, yo-yos, spiked paddles, Carrot-Top DVDs, and dead unicorns would ruin his career.

I lold at Carrot Top. :D

Consultant
Jul 2, 2010, 10:51 AM
Maybe it includes a phrase in which she has to "roll play".

Otherwise it's not worth that much.

=p

dXTC
Jul 2, 2010, 11:34 AM
She knows too much about his obsessions and infidelities. The stories involving the midget contortionists, capes, yo-yos, spiked paddles, Carrot-Top DVDs, and dead unicorns would ruin his career.

Like Melrose, I also laughed at Carrot Top.

DylanLikesPorn
Jul 2, 2010, 11:41 AM
If I was Tiger, I'd bang every girl I ever wanted and not give a rat's ass. The unfortunate thing from this massive payout is the girls, that we know of, he slept with are ugly, back alley, trashy-looking. His money and fame could have bought better looking sluts. That's the real shame.

kernkraft
Jul 2, 2010, 11:46 AM
$750 million should be enough to fund an iPhone 4 recall.

I suppose, if Apple doesn't want to pay for it, a cheated wife and secret-keeper is just as good.

184550
Jul 2, 2010, 12:45 PM
I think I read somewhere that his estimated worth in 2009 was $800 million and that he was expected to become a billionaire sometime in 2010 or 2011. Obviously that won't be happening now.

DylanLikesPorn
Jul 2, 2010, 12:49 PM
The lesson to learn from this Tiger fiasco is: never marry a Swedish model.

dmr727
Jul 2, 2010, 12:52 PM
It'll all going to come out anyway. Tiger should just save his money and establish a bad boy image.

Abstract
Jul 2, 2010, 01:16 PM
I lold at Carrot Top. :D

NO!! That's what he wants!!! :(

blitzkrieg79
Jul 2, 2010, 01:21 PM
Tiger got exactly what he deserved. Next time dude will think twice before opening his zipper. $750 mil may sound like a lot but I am more than sure percentage wise he will be just fine.

kernkraft
Jul 2, 2010, 01:23 PM
I think I read somewhere that his estimated worth in 2009 was $800 million and that he was expected to become a billionaire sometime in 2010 or 2011. Obviously that won't be happening now.

Unless he marries his soon-to-be ex-wife. She's loaded!

dmr727
Jul 2, 2010, 01:24 PM
Tiger got exactly what he deserved. Next time dude will think twice before opening his zipper.

No, next time he'll think twice about getting married. A guy like him isn't going to suddenly stop chasing women.

obeygiant
Jul 2, 2010, 01:27 PM
After legal fees and taxes she may only end up with a cool $250 mil. She's going to have to learn to live like a peasant! :eek:

Lord Blackadder
Jul 2, 2010, 02:25 PM
This is truly disgusting on a number of levels. Sickening.

CorvusCamenarum
Jul 2, 2010, 03:50 PM
Agreed. She must know some pretty embarrassing things about him to get this sort of payoff.

Had she played an actual part in Tiger acquiring his money, brand, etc., then it would be a different story. I just don't get the rationale behind awarding her a cut of his *future* money when she had sod all to do with the building of the nest egg.

rdowns
Jul 2, 2010, 04:47 PM
Tiger's also paying to keep her from moving to Sweden with the kids. Not that he can be much of a father with his line of work.

jav6454
Jul 2, 2010, 06:12 PM
After legal fees and taxes she may only end up with a cool $250 mil. She's going to have to learn to live like a peasant! :eek:

Dear Lord, since hwen is having $250M in the bank = being a peasant?

Supa_Fly
Jul 2, 2010, 06:29 PM
Well she certainly picked the right law firmÖ

She gets most (if not all) of his money and gets to keep his balls in her handbag.

Impressive.

Nothing impressive about that. Power over somebody's freedom (in either way, shape or form) is an EVIL gesture and goal. Only to wrought in the next dimension. Either way she'll cave, tell all in a book that makes nearly enough, his reputation will drop ~ there goes ALL the woman (especially if he's impotent or cut) and then what is he really left but tainted goals acheived.

To be honest I really think that ppl really want to be worshipped as if its their ticket to everlasting life via Ascension.

danpass
Jul 2, 2010, 06:33 PM
I wonder if she would write something that would be published after HER death.

No longer any room for penalties (since I doubt he'd penalize his kids)

OttawaGuy
Jul 2, 2010, 06:44 PM
I'd quit golf, tell the world to kiss my ass and refuse to pay this excessive amount.

That-Is-Bull
Jul 2, 2010, 09:30 PM
Dear Lord, since hwen is having $250M in the bank = being a peasant?

Dear Lord, could the sarcasm be any more obvious?

highres
Jul 2, 2010, 09:37 PM
No he did not.

http://blogs.forbes.com/sportsmoney/2010/07/tiger-woods-divorce-settlement-not-750-million/

JavierP
Jul 3, 2010, 11:40 AM
This happened to him because of his lazyness. Do a better casting next time Tiger. If you want to **** everything that creates shadows and have a family, marry a liberal (in bed) swedish blonde and bring the "ladies" home.

Melrose
Jul 3, 2010, 12:11 PM
NO!! That's what he wants!!! :(

It is oddly more funny to laugh the at the mention of Carrot Top than to actually laugh at Carrot Top. There is a subtle difference.

ARF900
Jul 3, 2010, 12:17 PM
She obviously knows things that haven't been made public. This buys her silence. Speculation has been steroid use or gay affairs.

This.

renewed
Jul 3, 2010, 02:26 PM
I didn't know he even had $750M. It's staggering that she could get that much. What could she possibly know that's worth that much?

Net worth is $900 million. (http://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-athletes/tiger-woods-net-worth/)

CorvusCamenarum
Jul 3, 2010, 04:49 PM
Nothing impressive about that. Power over somebody's freedom (in either way, shape or form) is an EVIL gesture and goal. Only to wrought in the next dimension. Either way she'll cave, tell all in a book that makes nearly enough, his reputation will drop ~ there goes ALL the woman (especially if he's impotent or cut) and then what is he really left but tainted goals acheived.
Unfortunately, it happens all the time in family courts all over the Western world. There was a case in Canada not too long ago involving the state possibly confiscating the headstone of a terminally ill man to help satisfy his outlandish alimony bill.

MrSmith
Jul 4, 2010, 11:22 AM
She never married him for his money in the first place. Honestly.

Jaro65
Jul 5, 2010, 04:55 PM
She never married him for his money in the first place. Honestly.

Even if she didn't, the final outcome says it all.

instaxgirl
Jul 5, 2010, 05:13 PM
Good for her.

750 million might just cover her complete and utter public humiliation.

niuniu
Jul 5, 2010, 05:16 PM
I heard it was only 10 million, and she has to shut her yapper for it.

yg17
Jul 5, 2010, 05:37 PM
Good for her.

750 million might just cover her complete and utter public humiliation.

It's his money. He made it. With the exception of child support, I don't understand why she deserves a dime of it.

iBlue
Jul 6, 2010, 01:21 AM
It's his money. He made it. With the exception of child support, I don't understand why she deserves a dime of it.

I don't know about deserves but lifetime silence is expensive. Ethical or not she could make a fortune selling his dirty secrets and that is the single biggest reason for such a substantial payout. Lets not forget that he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place if he were not such a pig.

These celebs can cry "sex addiction" all they like but I think almost all of it is a load of bollocks. They're just rich pricks who thought they could get away with it and flounder when they're found out.

mags631
Jul 7, 2010, 09:57 AM
It's his money. He made it. With the exception of child support, I don't understand why she deserves a dime of it.

She deserves whatever premium Tiger is willing to pay for her silence, which apparently is a lot...

Melrose
Jul 7, 2010, 10:37 AM
She deserves whatever premium Tiger is willing to pay for her silence, which apparently is a lot...

She has his sex tape.

dmr727
Jul 7, 2010, 10:50 AM
She has his sex tape.

That's why I think he needs to go in the complete opposite direction and do the bad boy thing. He should develop an "F you guys, I'm Tiger Woods. I do what I want!" attitude, work on getting his game back, then sleep with Phil Michelson's wife.

He'd be hated, but hated with an extra three quarter B in the bank. We already know the guy is a sleaze, so he might as well just embrace it.

yg17
Jul 7, 2010, 10:57 AM
That's why I think he needs to go in the complete opposite direction and do the bad boy thing. He should develop an "F you guys, I'm Tiger Woods. I do what I want!" attitude, work on getting his game back, then sleep with Phil Michelson's wife.

He'd be hated, but hated with an extra three quarter B in the bank. We already know the guy is a sleaze, so he might as well just embrace it.

He should become the real Happy Gilmore.

jav6454
Jul 7, 2010, 11:00 AM
Dear Lord, could the sarcasm be any more obvious?

oops:D

obeygiant
Jul 7, 2010, 11:09 AM
He should become the real Happy Gilmore.

"You little son of a bitch ball! Why you don't you just go HOME? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE ASS, BALL!" -- Happy Gilmore


LOL

Melrose
Jul 7, 2010, 12:21 PM
That's why I think he needs to go in the complete opposite direction and do the bad boy thing. He should develop an "F you guys, I'm Tiger Woods. I do what I want!" attitude, work on getting his game back, then sleep with Phil Michelson's wife.

He'd be hated, but hated with an extra three quarter B in the bank. We already know the guy is a sleaze, so he might as well just embrace it.

Any profit he makes in the future depends on his image; Golf ain't exactly the place for "bad boys", but I do see your point to a degree. However, as sleazy as he may be, he's still trying to cultivate the squeaky image, and if he keeps it up long enough it'll work.

Look at Eliot Spitzer, for crying out loud. Guy gets a call girl, not once, not twice, but who knows how many times and now he's on primetime TV. Tiger should call him up and say "yo, Eliot, how you do it?"

Troon
Jul 7, 2010, 12:28 PM
Itís been well known in Golf circles for years that he messes about and his wife knew.

In the UK he had been screwing around with a female sports TV presenter called Kirsty Gallacher for years.

At the open at Royal Troon in 2004 he had a stand up row with his wife(then his GF i think) about her in the main part of the club house. I witnessed it believe it or not and it was very embarrassing to say the least.

I am NOT saying what he did is right in any way or form but it seems to me and my friends that she was happy for him to carry on behind her back but once it was apparent that it was going to go public she decided to use him as a golf ball.

mac88
Jul 7, 2010, 02:10 PM
$750,000,000 for silence! Is this real? For that much I would not speak a word about it. That sum alone says more than she ever could. Good luck!

obeygiant
Mar 29, 2011, 09:41 AM
http://i55.tinypic.com/2r6z4ur.jpg

MacNut
Mar 29, 2011, 10:59 AM
^^ heh that is classic.

Judging by his golf game the last year I think he needs some more skanky booty.

Lord Blackadder
Mar 29, 2011, 12:41 PM
I don't know about deserves but lifetime silence is expensive. Ethical or not she could make a fortune selling his dirty secrets and that is the single biggest reason for such a substantial payout. Lets not forget that he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place if he were not such a pig.

I don't think there is any doubt that Woods obviously did some inexcusable things. His willingness to pay out that kind of money implies Charlie Sheen-levels of out-of-control behavior.

The numbers involved in the whole affair are pretty disgusting - in the end both of them are extremely wealthy people and will live out there lives surrounded by opulent luxury. One is an extremely talented golfer, flush with endorsements, whose squeaky-clean image turned out to be a massive lie. The other is a nanny who married into a huge fortune, discovered the man was a huge pig and walked away with the kids, house and a nine-figure payout on the condition she keep quiet. There are no heroes in this story.

carlgo
Mar 29, 2011, 06:05 PM
His gorgeous and educated wife chose a glum and odd rich and famous guy over millions of better and happier men who are not rich and famous.

She stayed with him despite knowing what was going on.

Seems like a financial deal to me.

He is a glum and odd guy who was able to acquire a very hot and talented wife because he is rich and famous.

His girlfriends willingly dated a glum and odd married guy. What are the chances they had a good time with him? They were acquiring a trophy and hoping for a payout as well, nothing more.

So, everyone got what they wanted going into these relationships, and possibly they all got what they deserved, eh?

I only feel sorry for the kids.

iJohnHenry
Mar 29, 2011, 06:56 PM
His gorgeous and educated wife chose a glum and odd rich and famous guy over millions of better and happier men who are not rich and famous.

She stayed with him despite knowing what was going on.

Seems like a financial deal to me.

He is a glum and odd guy who was able to acquire a very hot and talented wife because he is rich and famous.

His girlfriends willingly dated a glum and odd married guy. What are the chances they had a good time with him? They were acquiring a trophy and hoping for a payout as well, nothing more.

So, everyone got what they wanted going into these relationships, and possibly they all got what they deserved, eh?

I only feel sorry for the kids.

An outstanding post, NOT.

You need to talk with Jesper Parnevik. He will dispel your delusion that she was just your run-of-the-mill gold-digger.

Jesper introduced them to each other, as she was a close personal friend of his family.

Now he hates his guts.

WillEH
Mar 29, 2011, 07:01 PM
The Sun, a laughing stock of a newspaper here in the UK.

http://blogs.forbes.com/sportsmoney/2010/07/01/tiger-woods-divorce-settlement-not-750-million/

Apple OC
Mar 29, 2011, 07:08 PM
her new Ocean front house ... plus she will only get @ 100 million

darkplanets
Mar 29, 2011, 07:23 PM
What annoys me is that she didn't earn any of this money....

There's divorces, and then there's unfair payment. Being a housewife, or whatever the hell she did, does not account to $750mil of income, that much I can guarantee.

He probably would have been better off to let it all off his chest when he was in the gutter, and have nothing hanging over his head. Then he could tell his wife to f-off.

EDIT: Regardless of the sum... I doubt she deserves $300 mil +

iJohnHenry
Mar 29, 2011, 08:02 PM
EDIT: Regardless of the sum... I doubt she deserves $300 mil +

I chose to consider it punitive damages, for the ***** that ****er has put her too.

:mad:

Lord Blackadder
Mar 29, 2011, 08:22 PM
EDIT: Regardless of the sum... I doubt she deserves $300 mil +

I don't think anybody deserves $300 million, or whatever nine-figure sum it is. Considering how many battered women recieve no compensation at all, it's hard to see this as justice. If anything it just demonstrates that some people are fantastically wealthy.

obeygiant
Mar 29, 2011, 08:24 PM
The thread title is a little old now.

But $300 mil? ****** $500,000 would just about solve all my cash problems.

iAlan
Mar 30, 2011, 06:44 AM
I'm guessing it will be along the lines of an 'allowance' of $15 million per year for the remainder of her life (let's say another 50 years) to account for the $750,000,000. Remembering that this would also include allimony as she has the kids. But still a heap load of money...

DiamondGCoupe
Mar 31, 2011, 01:34 AM
She'll turn up missing one of these days.. :D

RedTomato
Mar 31, 2011, 07:18 PM
Forbes took this story from the Sun - the favourite toilet cleaner of the UK.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/usa/3035261/Tiger-Woods-banned-from-letting-girlfriends-near-kids-in-divorce-deal.html

Another notable Sun front page:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b5/Freddiehamster.jpg/220px-Freddiehamster.jpg

Need I say more?

iJohnHenry
Mar 31, 2011, 07:24 PM
Need I say more?

Is "hamster" a peculiar English euphemism?? :p