View Full Version : iPHone Apple Geniuses are not who they say they are!

Jul 14, 2010, 02:45 PM
Before you read this: Please donít judge me. Iím just sharing my story because everyone else is.

WowÖ okay, I wasnít sure if I should mention this on this forum, but here goes...

First of all, Ė just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isnít about her. I guess thatís messed up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dadís family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

I donít want to go into too many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didnít make it for me- but I thought she was so beautiful that I watched it twice. I probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy crap went down and I had to leave home. (My dadís family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).

SoooÖ I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.

My friend and I went to go pick her up. Looking back on it now, itís pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get herÖ and it wasnít a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasnít like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasnít sisterly.

After we left, we all went to crash with my Sisterís friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. Heís a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.

Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. Iím not saying that Iím proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.

My friend and my sister never hooked up I donít think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.

Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apartÖ and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time Ė like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini Iíve ever seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.

A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I canít say I was actually surprised. They had taken a while to hit it off, but eventually it just happened. But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was this one time we were at a party and my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

Jul 14, 2010, 02:47 PM

Jul 14, 2010, 02:49 PM

Sleazy E
Jul 14, 2010, 02:51 PM
probably the best post I have read on this forum. :D

Jul 14, 2010, 02:51 PM
Did I mistakenly click the Jerry Springer forum?

Jul 14, 2010, 02:52 PM
Didn't read any of it, was it good guys?

Jul 14, 2010, 02:53 PM

Please attach pics or it didn't happen.


Sleazy E
Jul 14, 2010, 02:53 PM
Didn't read any of it, was it good guys?

if you were ever a star wars fan, yes :). if not, it is still interesting.

Jul 14, 2010, 02:54 PM
I read too many of these exact same stories on the Android forums. Are you sure you posted in the right place?

Jul 14, 2010, 02:54 PM
Best thread EVER (well, at least this week). I was hooked from start to finish, and loved the ending. Sure beats the iPhone 4 tear train going on laterly.

Jul 14, 2010, 02:56 PM
This is too funny.

Jul 14, 2010, 02:56 PM
....then your father said "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air"

Jul 14, 2010, 02:57 PM
this is old

Knowlege Bomb
Jul 14, 2010, 02:58 PM
Edge-of-your-seat thriller!

Five stars.

Jul 14, 2010, 02:58 PM
Good lord. Mods, please move this to the Wasteland, where it belongs.

Jul 14, 2010, 02:58 PM
I just spit Coke all over my monitor:D. People in the office are thinking I am crazy from laughing so hard.

Jul 14, 2010, 02:58 PM

Jul 14, 2010, 02:59 PM
Well I am an idiot - I JUST got the story. Lol. Didn't read the last line.

Jul 14, 2010, 02:59 PM
Too lazy too read, can someone give me the Cliff Notes version?

Jul 14, 2010, 03:00 PM
Cool story, bro

Jul 14, 2010, 03:00 PM
Good story. Star Wars rules. Does this have anything to do with Apple?

Jul 14, 2010, 03:00 PM
Hilarious! :D

Jul 14, 2010, 03:01 PM
pics or didnt happen

Jul 14, 2010, 03:05 PM
This just made my day. best troll post ever.

Jul 14, 2010, 03:05 PM
Too lazy too read, can someone give me the Cliff Notes version?

Try sparknotes.com brah

Jul 14, 2010, 03:06 PM
was it because he was having an affair with an iPhone 4?

the 3GS must have been understandably felt rejected and angry.

But they are sisters so no problem.

Jul 14, 2010, 03:07 PM
That was great! Too bad I've read the exact same story on about half a dozen other forums. I guess I should start reposting it as well.

Cool Story, Brah!

Jul 14, 2010, 03:08 PM
oldie but a goodie.

nice thread, will read again.