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line
Aug 3, 2010, 04:54 AM
I've had a gift shop for about 6 years and have now taken it online, the logo we have has served us well so far but somehow it just doesn't seem right online.
I'm looking for constructive criticism

this is the logo:
http://shop.alon23.com/product_images/designshoplogo.png

and here it is in context (http://shop.alon23.com)

for the sake of clarity the name of the company is "alon"



MacBoobsPro
Aug 3, 2010, 05:06 AM
I've had a gift shop for about 6 years and have now taken it online, the logo we have has served us well so far but somehow it just doesn't seem right online.
I'm looking for constructive criticism

this is the logo:
http://shop.alon23.com/product_images/designshoplogo.png

and here it is in context (http://shop.alon23.com)

for the sake of clarity the name of the company is "alon"

If you need to clarify the name (which you do because I red it as Alan) then the logo doesnt work. It should be clear and concise. For the rest of the text try closing the tracking to give a more solid statement. At the moment its just words in Helvetica/Swiss.

juanm
Aug 3, 2010, 05:08 AM
Try with Comic Sans.

Honestly, maybe it's too monochrome (b&w logo, grey background...)
Also, I read it "avon"

KeithPratt
Aug 3, 2010, 06:50 AM
this is the logo

Which one? I see two logos...

Alvi
Aug 3, 2010, 06:55 AM
I read avon too, I mean I totally ignored what was written in the circle because it was too complicated to read

line
Aug 3, 2010, 07:01 AM
Which one? I see two logos...

I know Keith, that's exacly my problem. The first one (inside the circle) has been a decal on our storefront and bags for years.
However online it just doesn't read/doesn't make sense so i slapped "design shop switzerland" next to it to make it a bit clearer for browsing costumers.
I'm not certain on wether it should be part of the logo, what do you think?

here are some variations based on comments above:
https://shop.alon23.com/product_images/uploaded_images/alon_variations.png

MacBoobsPro
Aug 3, 2010, 07:20 AM
I know Keith, that's exacly my problem. The first one (inside the circle) has been a decal on our storefront and bags for years.
However online it just doesn't read/doesn't make sense so i slapped "design shop switzerland" next to it to make it a bit clearer for browsing costumers.
I'm not certain on wether it should be part of the logo, what do you think?
]

Don't align the ascender of the d with the h as it makes the d indented and looks wrong. Swiss design is all about uber clean lines and strong typography.

No2. looks like a flacid penis with two balls.

No3. Looks like two pubes.

No1. Is great!

Try using other typefaces than Helvetica. Try AvantGarde or Lubalin Graph. They will give you a nice swiss look too.

line
Aug 3, 2010, 08:24 AM
Don't align the ascender of the d with the h as it makes the d indented and looks wrong. Swiss design is all about uber clean lines and strong typography.

No2. looks like a flacid penis with two balls.

No3. Looks like two pubes.

No1. Is great!

Try using other typefaces than Helvetica. Try AvantGarde or Lubalin Graph. They will give you a nice swiss look too.

you're so right unfortunately

line
Aug 3, 2010, 08:29 AM
https://shop.alon23.com/product_images/uploaded_images/variations2.png

the shop is actually based in switzerland, so font it's not necessarily a stylistic decision.
I'll deal with colour once I'm on a decent track with typography and basic geometry )

..thanks again for all your comments.

ezkimo
Aug 3, 2010, 09:09 AM
the shop is actually based in switzerland, so font it's not necessarily a stylistic decision.


That's a curious statement. How is it not a stylistic choice? (Not trying to be an ass, just interested why you say that).

I think all of the new batch are too tightly kerned and the type for "alon" is still unreadable.

I'm also curious about the 23 in the URL. Why is it not called Alon 23 in the logo and then a tag line referencing swiss design? Thats a missed branding opportunity (to me).

V4 & V5 are not very in line with the swiss style, if you're trying stay on that boat.

line
Aug 3, 2010, 09:37 AM
That's a curious statement. How is it not a stylistic choice? (Not trying to be an ass, just interested why you say that).

I think all of the new batch are too tightly kerned and the type for "alon" is still unreadable.

I'm also curious about the 23 in the URL. Why is it not called Alon 23 in the logo and then a tag line referencing swiss design? Thats a missed branding opportunity (to me).

V4 & V5 are not very in line with the swiss style, if you're trying stay on that boat.

You're right, it is entirely stylistic. What i meant was that I wasn't going for the "nice swiss look" entirely on a whim but partly because of geographical context.

The actual logo is in fact alon23 but in six years only a handful of people have noticed it:
https://shop.alon23.com/product_images/uploaded_images/alon23.png

...I'm therefore trying to phase it out.

I agree on the kerning for the new batch and your observations on v4 and 5.
The "alon" bit is meant to represent a shop window on a small-city block so I'd appreciate any comments on how to communicate this better.

citizenzen
Aug 3, 2010, 12:04 PM
When I go to your website, your products look fun and warm.

But your logo does not.

I would work at matching your logo's statement with that of your products.




Oh... and I read "avon".

If you have to keep that mark, I'd consider breaking it out of the circle.

THX1139
Aug 3, 2010, 05:25 PM
The trouble is, you're trying to do too much with this and your hierarchy is wrong. The "alon" mark in itself is okay... and contrary to what other posters have said, it doesn't have to be readable UNLESS you are trying to convey it as a stand alone word mark. For example, Nike swoosh doesn't say Nike, but you see it as Nike because of how they have branded it. With your highly stylized alon type, it comes across more as a symbol than a word mark, so you might have to help it out a bit. Back to the Nike example, when they first came out with it, they added Nike text below it. Now it stands alone. You could go the same route in order to save your mark.

Here's what I would try:

I would treat "alon" as a mark (especially since you've already have it established), but I would add the text alon alongside the mark in a very readable but complementary type face. Next, I would make the "design shop" and "switzerland" more of like a tag line. So, the visual hierarchy would be... alon mark > alon name in type > tag-line. This way, the first thing people see and notice is the mark, then the name that reinforces it and finally the tag-line to say what it is.

You can set up the visual hierarchy with size, position, and contrast. They need to be visually integrated, but read separately. As you have it in your original logo, the Design Shop Switzerland reads first, when that should actually read last (unless it's the primary part of the name). You are adding your mark as an accent and then expecting people to be able to read what it is.

Let me know if you don't understand what I wrote.

ChicoWeb
Aug 3, 2010, 06:51 PM
The trouble is, you're trying to do too much with this and your hierarchy is wrong. The "alon" mark in itself is okay... and contrary to what other posters have said, it doesn't have to be readable UNLESS you are trying to convey it as a stand alone word mark. For example, Nike swoosh doesn't say Nike, but you see it as Nike because of how they have branded it. With your highly stylized alon type, it comes across more as a symbol than a word mark, so you might have to help it out a bit. Back to the Nike example, when they first came out with it, they added Nike text below it. Now it stands alone. You could go the same route in order to save your mark.

Here's what I would try:

I would treat "alon" as a mark (especially since you've already have it established), but I would add the text alon alongside the mark in a very readable but complementary type face. Next, I would make the "design shop" and "switzerland" more of like a tag line. So, the visual hierarchy would be... alon mark > alon name in type > tag-line. This way, the first thing people see and notice is the mark, then the name that reinforces it and finally the tag-line to say what it is.

You can set up the visual hierarchy with size, position, and contrast. They need to be visually integrated, but read separately. As you have it in your original logo, the Design Shop Switzerland reads first, when that should actually read last (unless it's the primary part of the name). You are adding your mark as an accent and then expecting people to be able to read what it is.

Let me know if you don't understand what I wrote.

I agree with trying to make this mark work. I think the mark by itself has some legs, however it looks very much like the droid logo. Sucks because yours was first.

ezekielrage_99
Aug 4, 2010, 07:21 PM
I think the main isssue with the logo is with regards to the readability, IHO keep the black circle but change the font.

ALON in Helvetica would be your best option, it would be clean and very easy to read also it would fit into the whole Swiss Design aspect of the site's focus.

Sander
Aug 5, 2010, 03:47 AM
That's a curious statement. How is it not a stylistic choice?

Helvetica = Switzerland.

line
Aug 5, 2010, 06:54 AM
Dear MR designers, thanks again for the time you've put into your critiques.
Based on your insights I have a couple of updates:
https://shop.alon23.com/product_images/uploaded_images/alon_bears.png

"cool hunters switzerland" is the tag line we've used at the physical shop for the last few years, I went with "design shop switzerland" to emphasize the fact that the site is not a blog..

line
Aug 5, 2010, 06:59 AM
I agree with trying to make this mark work. I think the mark by itself has some legs, however it looks very much like the droid logo. Sucks because yours was first.

While the existing alon mark may not suck too badly by itself it is completely useless to incorporate in other designs without the circle around it -which is kind of gimmicky-. And it does look quite a bit like the droid logo tho' that ain't much of a compliment).

KeithPratt
Aug 5, 2010, 09:57 AM
You're a design-oriented gift shop — 7 and 8 are industrial (and illegible), and 9, though prettier, has me coming to your shop for camping gear.

Utilitarian seems to be the done thing for shops like yours. Even if you want to do something a bit different I'd pare it way back from your designs so far.

And while making use of the '23' in your URL risks making you sound more like a wine bar, ignored, it's a bit johnsmith405 @ hotmail.com. So I'd consider incorporating it into a design like one of those quality control "inspected by" stickers. Or something.

http://www.clothinglabels.com/inspected_by/inspected.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/153/345975270_b0c317af62.jpg?v=0

line
Aug 5, 2010, 10:45 AM
You're a design-oriented gift shop 7 and 8 are industrial (and illegible), and 9, though prettier, has me coming to your shop for camping gear.

Utilitarian seems to be the done thing for shops like yours. Even if you want to do something a bit different I'd pare it way back from your designs so far.

And while making use of the '23' in your URL risks making you sound more like a wine bar, ignored, it's a bit johnsmith405 @ hotmail.com. So I'd consider incorporating it into a design like one of those quality control "inspected by" stickers. Or something.

http://www.clothinglabels.com/inspected_by/inspected.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/153/345975270_b0c317af62.jpg?v=0

Dear Keith, v7 & 8 are a reaction to THX1139's post which I find reasonable in that the 'Logo' part of the Logotype does not need to be readable, and could just be a symbol. I agree that it's a bit industrial in vein and am not sure it's what we should convey considering the products we carry.

v9 with the bears is an attempt at making the symbol more figurative and recognizable. and it's a pun on 'cool hunters' - polar bears.

I really like your idea for the quality control stickers and i'll try to incorporate it into the design of the website - if not the logo itself.

the 23 on the URL should be gone if I can get the owner to agree on a reasonable price.

I'll bring later today a variation on the bears theme without the 'switzerland' bit, which i realize is quite useless in a worldwide store...

line
Aug 5, 2010, 12:08 PM
https://shop.alon23.com/product_images/uploaded_images/alon_bears_v10.png

ezkimo
Aug 5, 2010, 02:25 PM
Helvetica = Switzerland.


So you're saying that because it's in Switzerland is must without question be set in Helvetica? Every choice is stylistic.

3lionsbecks
Aug 5, 2010, 02:39 PM
v10 thoughts

your logo with the polar bears and cool hunter tag line looks great but (IMO) it doesn't match with the store that you run.

It makes me think of a outdoor supply store logo....perhaps like Northface or Columbia might use.

Its not very Urban hip or sophisticated cool if that is the look you are going for.

I'm not trying to be critical just trying to give my opinion. I'd keep the tag line but lose the polar bears.

bluetooth
Aug 5, 2010, 05:08 PM
OP,

Futura, a sans-serif type face, is also a trendy, european font, one of my favourites tbh. Created by a German designer, it could work well with your company name, it is modern, simplistic, clean and reads well in both headline and copy. There are also several variations (medium/light/bold/condensed etc.)

THX1139
Aug 5, 2010, 05:28 PM
I suggest you take 2 steps backwards. You are trying to solve too many issues at the same time and you are "spinning your wheels". Work on your symbol/logo first and once that is locked down, you can work on type and taglines. You are doing multiple variations of semi-finished work and you don't even have a solid concept yet. Do some research on your brand message (visual and verbal), then pull out the sketchbook and do a bunch of thumbnails, because the way you are working now is not efficient.

The Polar Bears are okay... but I don't see how they relate. You really need to define your message and go from there... even if it means starting over. Or, at the minimum, pick a direction and come up with a dozen or so variations.

andalusia
Aug 5, 2010, 06:57 PM
I have to say, OP, that a lot of the logos you are coming up with are excellent! Just little niggles that need to be addressed, but you certainly have a flair for design!

bluetooth
Aug 5, 2010, 10:37 PM
I have to say, OP, that a lot of the logos you are coming up with are excellent! Just little niggles that need to be addressed, but you certainly have a flair for design!

I agree. I think you have strong elements in certain renders, it's just putting the pieces together and tweaking imo.

As one poster suggested, work on an overall concept, be it logo or strong typeface and then once that initial concept is set, add or start working on the other elements.

ie. Personally I like the type face in logo design #1, as a word mark and font (although kerning could be touched up and a bit tighter as suggested). So then perhaps add an illustrative form of design, such as stylized mountain peaks - just something winged off the top of my head that is very cliche, but the general idea is to finalize or work with one part (this example being the strong type face concept) before starting another.

a quick ie. below...say you have decided on a strong type face as your concept, try 4 or 5 different illustrations/sketches and then after rendering them, narrow them down to 2 or 3 and tweak as you narrow until you get 1 design with an illustration and a typeface you like and then finally work those around into a few variations and pick your final one/design etc. I hope this makes sense. I look forward to seeing your final concept(s).

line
Aug 9, 2010, 03:35 AM
Thank you all for your very helpful comments and compliments. they have however brought me back a couple of stages in development.
I've discussed your suggestions with the other owners and mostly they seem to agree with what you have to say.
I'll post updated sketches and final design variations later in the week.

cheers.

d//

spillproof
Aug 9, 2010, 04:23 AM
I like the quality control sticker idea and how you used it in v10.

You have some really cool stuff on your site, I with I could buy here in the US.

line
Aug 9, 2010, 04:30 AM
I like the quality control sticker idea and how you used it in v10.

You have some really cool stuff on your site, I with I could buy here in the US.

I've never tried it but i think you can, prices should be calculated in US$ at checkout and shipping is usually not very expensive...

I like the sticker too - I think i'll add it to the site regardless of the outcome of the final logo.

niuniu
Aug 9, 2010, 04:44 AM
v2 is the only design that gives me trust (because it has a premium appeal).

line
Aug 23, 2010, 10:31 AM
Thanks again to all of you who contributed opinions and honest criticism to the logos i've been posting, I tuned out for a couple of weeks to consider what you all said and also to finish designs for an extension to our house...
for this final version I went with just a typeface designed from scratch that can stand on its own as a logo and the little Calder-like eye as an abstract representation of what the company stands for [proportion - balance - interior spaces - hunting for designers - searching for objects - art gallery]
(click for large image and color variations or here (http://shop.alon23.com) to see it in context:
https://shop.alon23.com/product_images/uploaded_images/alon-standard.png (https://shop.alon23.com/product_images/uploaded_images/final-variations.png)

I'd love to hear your final comments and hope you enjoy the products.

cheers

manueld
Aug 23, 2010, 06:22 PM
Thanks again to all of you who contributed opinions and honest criticism to the logos i've been posting, I tuned out for a couple of weeks to consider what you all said and also to finish designs for an extension to our house...
for this final version I went with just a typeface designed from scratch that can stand on its own as a logo and the little Calder-like eye as an abstract representation of what the company stands for [proportion - balance - interior spaces - hunting for designers - searching for objects - art gallery]
(click for large image and color variations or here (http://shop.alon23.com) to see it in context:
https://shop.alon23.com/product_images/uploaded_images/alon-standard.png (https://shop.alon23.com/product_images/uploaded_images/final-variations.png)

I'd love to hear your final comments and hope you enjoy the products.

cheers

one quick thing on your website, you might want to update the favicon to the new mark.

zephyrnoid
Aug 23, 2010, 06:36 PM
I design and I happen to spend tons of time in CH. Your new logo is excellent and will last you a long time.
My first 'read' of it was 'Pallete'. I like geometrics like that. Did you design it?





Thanks again to all of you who contributed opinions and honest criticism to the logos i've been posting, I tuned out for a couple of weeks to consider what you all said and also to finish designs for an extension to our house...
for this final version I went with just a typeface designed from scratch that can stand on its own as a logo and the little Calder-like eye as an abstract representation of what the company stands for [proportion - balance - interior spaces - hunting for designers - searching for objects - art gallery]
(click for large image and color variations or here (http://shop.alon23.com) to see it in context:
https://shop.alon23.com/product_images/uploaded_images/alon-standard.png (https://shop.alon23.com/product_images/uploaded_images/final-variations.png)

I'd love to hear your final comments and hope you enjoy the products.

cheers

THX1139
Aug 23, 2010, 07:33 PM
You might try to unify the negative shape inside of the mark to better match the counters in the letterforms. It's a bit rounded and organic but the type counters are square and modern. Other than that, it's quite nice.

line
Aug 24, 2010, 05:49 AM
You might try to unify the negative shape inside of the mark to better match the counters in the letterforms. It's a bit rounded and organic but the type counters are square and modern. Other than that, it's quite nice.

I agree, i'll work on a variation that brings the organic (http://bit.ly/9EkPAB) closer to the counters on the typeface.