hehe...another pathetic dating advice thread...

[18thTomorrow]

So.

I am a female, college freshman. And I am lonely. I have never had a boyfriend or "been in a relationship" or however you would like to say it.

In fact, I have been asked out a total of three times. The first time was by a friend...a mentally challenged friend. Awkward. The second time was by an overweight 26 year old who is bipolar and struggles with depression. And the third time was by a 42 year old.

And it's like hell, what in the world is wrong here??
By all appearances it would seem I'm extremely dateable. I'm blonde, big blue eyes, 5'3", 127 lbs, feminine. I'm musical, was honor roll all through high school, valedictorian, happy person.

It's not like I have issues with guys, either. I have lots of guy friends who I love hanging out with. I often prefer them to girls...they're just more fun. But I always end up being their friend instead of their girlfriend. I'm the one they always come to with the girl troubles. "Amy's mad at me because ___, now what do I do?" "What should I get Clarice for her birthday?" that kind of thing.

Just looking for some perspective, and whatever advice you may have
;)
cheers.

[ravenvii]

Crap, swap out the "guys" with "girls", and you get a too-typical AFC post. You, my friend, is a female version of AFC. And I thought they don't exist.

So... where you from? I could ask you out.

[broken_keyboard]

Maybe you just need to be more obvious when you like a guy. Give stronger signals and he will ask, maybe you are being too subtle.

[oldschool]

So.

I am a female, college freshman. And I am lonely. I have never had a boyfriend or "been in a relationship" or however you would like to say it.

In fact, I have been asked out a total of three times. The first time was by a friend...a mentally challenged friend. Awkward. The second time was by an overweight 26 year old who is bipolar and struggles with depression. And the third time was by a 42 year old.

And it's like hell, what in the world is wrong here??
By all appearances it would seem I'm extremely dateable. I'm blonde, big blue eyes, 5'3", 127 lbs, feminine. I'm musical, was honor roll all through high school, valedictorian, happy person.

It's not like I have issues with guys, either. I have lots of guy friends who I love hanging out with. I often prefer them to girls...they're just more fun. But I always end up being their friend instead of their girlfriend. I'm the one they always come to with the girl troubles. "Amy's mad at me because ___, now what do I do?" "What should I get Clarice for her birthday?" that kind of thing.

Just looking for some perspective, and whatever advice you may have
;)
cheers.

ask some guys out...you'd be surprised how many guys who don't ask you out are just to shy to.

[mcarnes]

Guys love it when chicks come on to them. Just don't be too serious about it. Girls that are down and serious just don't put me in the mood. Be witty and shake that *ss, I love that.

[MrMacMan]

I might be scared to approach you.

Reason being that you might be infinitely smarter then me.


Make more obvious hints and guys you are intrested in.

Obviously they aren't catching them right now, and the 3 possible dates are quite weak, but not unexpected for your situation.

Drop a few hints, wink, nod, smile -- whatever. :rolleyes: :D

[jasylonian]

i think that it all depends on what kind of person you are. there are people in the world who just want to date for dating's sake, then there are people who are constantly on the search for "the one." there are people who advocate dating around because it will shape your image of what you want in a partner. personally, i think that if you wait long enough, there will eventually come a time when you will meet someone and it will just "feel right." but then again, i'm the kind of person who watches movies and believes that kind of stuff actually happens (i even believe in "true love" *gasp*). you shouldn't have to change who you are just to get guys and you definitely shouldn't feel forced out of your element. have patience. in the grand scheme of things, odds are that good things happen every so often.

if you're in the dating for dating's sake mode; you're in college. if you drink enough coffee and get up to go to the bathroom enough, chances are a guy will ask you out. heck, if you strategically drop things in class often enough, some guy will eventually ask you out (unless you go to an all-womens' school, at which point eventually some woman will ask you out). if you go to a frat party, it becomes a likelihood. good luck.

[dotnina]

I know the feeling ... I was there a few years ago.

Keep making friends with nice guys, and making friends with their friends, and build a ring of dateable prospects. If you're really on the prowl, ask a few trusted friends if they know anyone ... there's lots of single people out there.

It's a good sign that guys come to you for advice. Everyone starts off as friends, right? ;) Anyway, don't stress about it, these things have a way of just coming together.

----
Edit: Oh sweet heavens, I just noticed you're in computer science?! Okay, I am too, and let me tell you: you will get asked out -- by whom or what is another matter. :) The school year just started, and you're a freshman. When you meet guys outside of computer science, lie and say you're a psych major. Guys seem to find the female / computer science pairing really intimidating. ;)

[iJon]

I cannot continue this thread any longer without seeing a picture ;). But seriously, I need one.

jon

[Daveman Deluxe]

Heh. You just described me, only I'm a dude. You'll probably remember my thread from the summer.

Trust me, you've got to find a way to be happy the way things are. These things often happen in unexpected places. Just be you, and somebody will probably find that he's in love with you someday. I've known so many people that started going out with folks that just started out as friends, even years after they met.

Those are all INCREDIBLY hard things to learn, and I still struggle with them.

If you're just looking to date around, go ahead and drop pencils, go to the restroom a lot, and I guarantee that will work. If you want something more serious, develop some closer friendships with some guys. Ask to go do stuff more one-on-one with them. I know one guy who would hang out with this girl occasionally, just chill out and have fun. That went on for a long time, and now they're officially together.

Just be patient. I know it's REALLY hard, but it pays off in spades in the long run.

[saabmp3]

I cannot continue this thread any longer without seeing a picture ;). But seriously, I need one.

jon

Here's an idea Arn, MacRumors dating service. Anything to get rid of those horrible TV ads for eHarmony.com!

Seriously tho, some people just get to date too much, some not enough. If your active, have fun and not a bitch (goes for guys and girls) you'll find somebody. Don't not try hard enough or try too hard, there's just a median point of being fun.

Also, you go on sprits of too much dating, to nothing. This is one of those places where life just figures itself out.

Goodluck!

Also, where are you from? University area's and medium sized cities seem to be the best place to meet people. I've only lived in the north tho (northeast and northwest) so that might be different for those of you who speak in a southern twang.

BEN

[MacFan26]

Edit: Oh sweet heavens, I just noticed you're in computer science?! Okay, I am too, and let me tell you: you will get asked out -- by whom or what is another matter. :)
lol, I'm in computer science, how come no one ever asks me out? ;)

[fuzzynavo]

in my experience electrical engineering and computer science classes, while filled to the brim with extremely smart guys, aren't terribly desirable when one's looking for a physically fit, non-myopic male specimen to date. :)

perhaps its just where i go that gives me a skewed view though.

[AmigoMac]

They look at you like a geek girl who is a lot smarter than they are and are afraid of you, they want an almost brainless girl to date and overtake, if you are/look smarter they will feel bad beside you, you will get a date but not the normal one, if you combine/cover the beauty with the smart for them, you are looking dangerous... Kids... oh wait you use a mac, don'T you? ... that's geek. you are around big kids and not teenagers who want to meet you. IMO.

[blackfox]

So.

I am a female, college freshman. And I am lonely. I have never had a boyfriend or "been in a relationship" or however you would like to say it.

In fact, I have been asked out a total of three times. The first time was by a friend...a mentally challenged friend. Awkward. The second time was by an overweight 26 year old who is bipolar and struggles with depression. And the third time was by a 42 year old.

And it's like hell, what in the world is wrong here??
By all appearances it would seem I'm extremely dateable. I'm blonde, big blue eyes, 5'3", 127 lbs, feminine. I'm musical, was honor roll all through high school, valedictorian, happy person.

It's not like I have issues with guys, either. I have lots of guy friends who I love hanging out with. I often prefer them to girls...they're just more fun. But I always end up being their friend instead of their girlfriend. I'm the one they always come to with the girl troubles. "Amy's mad at me because ___, now what do I do?" "What should I get Clarice for her birthday?" that kind of thing.

Just looking for some perspective, and whatever advice you may have
;)
cheers.

Where are you exactly? Do you live on-campus (ie dorms)? What do you do for fun/social time? What are you looking for in a boy?

The answers to these questions (and others) would help a lot in recommending some advice.

That said, in the broadest sense, I agree with those who suggest you take the iniative, I know I love woman who do.

I will say, however, with your lack of experience, be careful. College boys are a devious lot, and don't let your various needs/desires get in the way of common sense.

College is a great time for experimentation (take as you will), so keep your wits about you and make the effort to see what is possible.

If you post with further detail, I will try to be more helpful.

Good Luck.

[gwuMACaddict]

i'm pretty amazed with some of the adivce that is pouring out here... as i usually am when techheads and macgeeks try to offer dating advice...

do you all REALLY honestly beleive that most men are afraid of smart women!? i think thats the biggest pile of crap i've heard all week. and it's been a crazy week... :rolleyes:

[pseudobrit]

do you all REALLY honestly beleive that most men are afraid of smart women!? i think thats the biggest pile of crap i've heard all week. and it's been a crazy week... :rolleyes:

Most men are afraid of smart women because most men are afraid of all women because most men are afraid of rejection.

[pseudobrit]

and whatever advice you may have

Learn to flirt.

[gwuMACaddict]

Most men are afraid of smart women because most men are afraid of all women because most men are afraid of rejection.

well...

thats lame.

and i agree with your next advice. FLIRT. you're a GIRL. it can't reeeeally be that hard to find guys. :o

[balticgreen]

I'm a guy and have a lot of "just friends" who are girls, so I understand that part of your dilemma. In college, I was once surprised to hear that everyone thought I was dating a girl who I wasn't, but of course they thought that because they saw me with her a lot. So anyway, if you're spending a fair amount of time with your male friends in public areas of the campus, some other guys who may want to ask you out might think that you're dating whomever you're with at the time.

I'm not saying don't hang out with your friends because friends are important too. But make sure that you're not always seen with someone. Go hang out at the student commons (or whatever equivalent) by yourself. You're a Mac user, if you have a portable take it with you. iBooks and Powerbooks always got noticed on my campus and several people, male and female, approached me just to ask how I liked my Powerbook because they either had one too or thought about buying one.

Depending on the social climate at your school, dining times can be a great way to meet new people. Go by yourself either at a time when the place is practically empty (that's when a lot of singles seem to go) or when it's really busy and seats are hard to find. You never know who might ask "Mind if I join you?" Or if you see some good looking guy sitting by himself, ask if you can join him. As some other people said, take the initiative yourself but don't be extremely obvious about it. "Is this seat taken?" "What are you reading?" "Hey, you're in my *whatever* class; what did you think of that exam yesterday?" (that only works if he's actually in the class, haha, but in addition to an ice-breaker it also tells him that you've noticed him. And yes I speak from experience on this one.) or you could always just smile and say "Hi, I'm Jane" or whatever your name actually is.

Also, one thing you might find out later (since you haven't had much relationship experience yet) is that guys you like might find it weird that you have so many guy friends and might be threatened or feel insecure about your relationship or the possibility of one. Girls don't seem too threatened that I have a lot of female friends, but the guys my female friends date sometimes don't care too much for me. There's not a lot you can do about that, except to be honest about your friendships and don't try to hide them because that will look worse in the end.

This is a really long post but I hope it helps. Good luck :)

[pseudobrit]

And it's like hell, what in the world is wrong here??

Have you tried posting your stats along with notification of a desperate emotional state on a geek forum yet?

Oh, wait...

[apple2991]

So.

I am a female, college freshman. And I am lonely. I have never had a boyfriend or "been in a relationship" or however you would like to say it.

In fact, I have been asked out a total of three times. The first time was by a friend...a mentally challenged friend. Awkward. The second time was by an overweight 26 year old who is bipolar and struggles with depression. And the third time was by a 42 year old.

And it's like hell, what in the world is wrong here??
By all appearances it would seem I'm extremely dateable. I'm blonde, big blue eyes, 5'3", 127 lbs, feminine. I'm musical, was honor roll all through high school, valedictorian, happy person.

It's not like I have issues with guys, either. I have lots of guy friends who I love hanging out with. I often prefer them to girls...they're just more fun. But I always end up being their friend instead of their girlfriend. I'm the one they always come to with the girl troubles. "Amy's mad at me because ___, now what do I do?" "What should I get Clarice for her birthday?" that kind of thing.

Just looking for some perspective, and whatever advice you may have
;)
cheers.

Well, are you ugly? That's probably the problem. Either that or you smell.

[18thTomorrow]

Wow! I'm amazed at the amount of responses I've gotten overnight...

Crap, swap out the "guys" with "girls", and you get a too-typical AFC post. You, my friend, is a female version of AFC. And I thought they don't exist.

So... where you from? I could ask you out.

What is an AFC?

And I'm from Allendale, MI. I go to Grand Valley State University...a great school, about 20,000 students.

ask some guys out...you'd be surprised how many guys who don't ask you out are just to shy to.

Ah, but that takes so much fun out of it...I'm oldschool in that I've always felt it should be the guy doing the pursuing and asking.


Make more obvious hints and guys you are intrested in.


Ok, fine. So guys, tell me what you like. What is it that a girl does that drives you absolutely wild and you just can't get enough of her? Tell me how to flirt. I went to a small, academics-heavy highschool so I admit, I may have gotten too caught up in studying and excelling, and forgotten to learn how to flirt :P

i think that it all depends on what kind of person you are. there are people in the world who just want to date for dating's sake, then there are people who are constantly on the search for "the one." there are people who advocate dating around because it will shape your image of what you want in a partner. personally, i think that if you wait long enough, there will eventually come a time when you will meet someone and it will just "feel right." but then again, i'm the kind of person who watches movies and believes that kind of stuff actually happens (i even believe in "true love" *gasp*). you shouldn't have to change who you are just to get guys and you definitely shouldn't feel forced out of your element. have patience. in the grand scheme of things, odds are that good things happen every so often.

if you're in the dating for dating's sake mode; you're in college. if you drink enough coffee and get up to go to the bathroom enough, chances are a guy will ask you out. heck, if you strategically drop things in class often enough, some guy will eventually ask you out (unless you go to an all-womens' school, at which point eventually some woman will ask you out). if you go to a frat party, it becomes a likelihood. good luck.

If I were dating, it would definitely be to find "the one". I'm not the kind of person who would like to date around, just for the fun of it. I'm looking for...a future spouse. Not that we'd get married right away, i'd like to finish school first. But for me, dating has a goal in mind.

Dropping a pencil? That seems really jeuvenile...

I cannot continue this thread any longer without seeing a picture ;). But seriously, I need one.

jon

I'll work on that one and have it here soon. Just not right now.

Heh. You just described me, only I'm a dude. You'll probably remember my thread from the summer.

Trust me, you've got to find a way to be happy the way things are. These things often happen in unexpected places. Just be you, and somebody will probably find that he's in love with you someday. I've known so many people that started going out with folks that just started out as friends, even years after they met.

Those are all INCREDIBLY hard things to learn, and I still struggle with them.

If you're just looking to date around, go ahead and drop pencils, go to the restroom a lot, and I guarantee that will work. If you want something more serious, develop some closer friendships with some guys. Ask to go do stuff more one-on-one with them. I know one guy who would hang out with this girl occasionally, just chill out and have fun. That went on for a long time, and now they're officially together.

Just be patient. I know it's REALLY hard, but it pays off in spades in the long run.

Thanks for the heartfelt advice, daveman. I do remember your thread last summer, and I enjoyed it ;) How's that going by the way?

Where are you exactly? Do you live on-campus (ie dorms)? What do you do for fun/social time? What are you looking for in a boy?

Good Luck.

I live off-campus, though I'm on campus (either in class, hanging out, or at work) at least 8-5 every day, often more. For fun/social time, I don't party very much, but I do like to do things with groups of people. Anything active is fun--frisbee, skating, sledding/other snowplay (we have a lot right now!) indoor stuff like pool, movies, video games, etc...

What am I looking for in a boy? I've got a whole list with 11 items on it...;) but mainly someone who is kind, funny, courteous, perhaps somewhat outgoing, doesn't have to be drop-dead gorgeous but not overweight/unkempt...that covers most of the basics.

Learn to flirt.

Tell me how.

[gwuMACaddict]

i dont think you can 'learn' how to flirt. i think you either have itor you dont. i know which of my friends can flirt, and which can't. and usually, those who have tried to 'learn' end up scaring people away because its not natural.


dont worry about what everyone else is telling you here. if you BE YOURSELF, you'll find someome who appreciates that.

[apple2991]

Dropping a pencil may sound juvenile, but if you are so high maintenance to the point that you won't even approach a guy (as in you expect HIM to ask YOU out), it might be hard. Actually--you've already shown that it is. If you want to play the role of the subservient or shy one, you've got to get them to notice you somehow. That is especially true because, if you aren't willing to be forward and are hiding behind a shroud of "old school" shyness and/or fragility, you are mostly going to attract the guys who look for that type of girl. The shy guys, AKA the smart, interesting, non-ego-centric cool guys, won't approach a girl like that.

I mean, flirting in general is rather juvenile, which is partly why it's so fun. It's all finding little excuses to talk to or touch someone that are often silly, that you otherwise wouldn't do.

But basically, Daveman is right on the money. Be yourself, and do what makes you happy. Eventually you will find somebody. I always propone being honest with your feelings--which means asking a guy if you want to spend more time/go on a date with him, instead of waiting to see if he will ask you because of some arbitrary stigma. It may be all well and fun to see if you can get the guy to ask you, but if he doesn't and you really like him, then what? It's best just to be honest. Plus, that's unfair to the guy.

Be yourself, plainly and purely. Unless you suck, in which case, be me.

[pseudobrit]

Ah, but that takes so much fun out of it...I'm oldschool in that I've always felt it should be the guy doing the pursuing and asking.

You have to give him signals. You have to flirt. Smile a lot and be uh... playful.

Ok, fine. So guys, tell me what you like. What is it that a girl does that drives you absolutely wild and you just can't get enough of her?

Sleeps with me. Seriously. "Absolutely wild?" yeah, she'd have to do a lot more than wear perfume and shoot me lustful glances to get to "wild" status.

If I were dating, it would definitely be to find "the one". I'm not the kind of person who would like to date around, just for the fun of it. I'm looking for...a future spouse. Not that we'd get married right away, i'd like to finish school first. But for me, dating has a goal in mind.

Oh crap. You're not going to find a future spouse with relationship No. 1. It's just not going to happen. Date, have fun, don't tie yourself down yet because chances are you'll end up hanging onto something that wasn't meany to be for too long and a good bit of opportunity will pass you by.

I'll work on that one and have it here soon. Just not right now.

You don't want to do that. This place is crawling with Mac geeks. Just look at us! Freaks, all of us!

What am I looking for in a boy? I've got a whole list with 11 items on it...;) but mainly someone who is kind, funny, courteous, perhaps somewhat outgoing, doesn't have to be drop-dead gorgeous but not overweight/unkempt...that covers most of the basics.

Mwahaha. I can tell you right now, judging by that repsonse, you have no idea what you're looking for. ;)

[PlaceofDis]

hmmmmm i GUESS ill reply

here is one thing though, you might not feel comfortable asking a guy out, and thats perfectly fine, nothing wrong with it, most girls are that way, but i guy will not ask a girl out unless he even remotely thinks she is interested, period

guys are just as insecure as girls, i am, im in a horrible state right now after the breakup with my fiancee, im sure some of you remember my thread, but im back to wanting to date, i got over it, breakups suck but they happen, but here is the thing, you have to have some guts when it comes to dating.....i know im not brave enough to just approach any random girl right now, and most guys wouldnt do that anyways, it takes more confidence than most of us are capable of, but there was as time where i would do that

if you want a guy to ask him out, flirt....
you want to know how to flirt? well there is no one way to, but guys give hints, and girls give hints that they are interested

to start off, eye contact, its huge, i notice it, girls notice it, it makes a huge difference, as my friend pointed out to me in class the other day, there is a girl that always looks me up and down as she walks past, shes makes eye contact too, am i going to approach this girl? yes, because i know that she at least likes what she sees, and that im intriguing enough to look at.

try locking eyes with a guy you think is cute, try sitting next to him each day or if you are across the room from him, start looking at him, and try and get him to notice you. if you can sit next to him, yeah drop your pencil, if he picks it up say thank you, and start talking up a storm, if the class is boring, and you have started talking to him every now and then, write notes, yeah this all sounds juvenile i know, but it works, it gets peoples attention, it lets someone know that you are interested, its tedious, its time consuming and frustrating, but if you do not want to approach a guy, give it a try, i think it works

but you cant just sit there and ignore the guys, if thats what you do then they are either going to think that your taken or that your just not interested, and then they will in turn ignore you

when i did have a girlfriend/fiance, i tended to ignore most of the girls, made friends with some, but there was no reason to check em out, but now, i try to make eye contact, let them know i think they are cute, and yeah some people are taken and are going to ignore you, some wont be interested, but you will find some that are looking too

i think ill shut up now.....but ill be back :D

[topicolo]

Also, just to add to all the (mostly) good points being made here:

1) Us guys are a lot more shallow than girls. Appearance has a far larger weight in our attraction to a girl than it does with women. Our attraction more like an On/Off switch, as opposed to the women, who have dials. Guys can be attracted to a beautiful woman within seconds of seeing her. Personality does matter, but appearance is what usually gets us interested initially.

2) Confidence is really sexy. I find timid girls to be boring and uninteresting. If you can't make eye contact with a cute guy while talking to him, you won't hold his attention very easily

3) Flirting shows interest. Talk about things other than work or school. Usually the best conversations are about absolutely nothing. Be sarcastic and playful, it's a real turn on.

4) You can't meet people if you don't venture into situations which facilitate meeting people. For example, trying to hook up with a guy on the bus or in class when they're preoccupied with other thoughts is a lot harder than talking to him in a bar, a party or a social outing where he expects it or is looking for it (unless you're naked, in which case it works anywhere ;)).

5) Don't try to change yourself completely immediately because you're more likely to fail and be discouraged. You can try flirting with guys online first, so that you can have time to think of good responses and practice your flirting before you do it in real time. Who knows, maybe you'll pick up a date along the way too (Don't try to practice on me because you'll end up falling madly in love with me and then I'll just break your heart ;))

6)Finally, don't dwell on failure, look upon it as a learning experience and have fun while doing it, because it is fun :D.

Good Luck!

[jasylonian]

I miss the good old days when GVSU and UC Davis were football rivals in D2. One of my female friends from UM had a boyfriend from GVSU who was just a great guy in general. If he was representative of the guys at GVSU, you're definitely in good hands.

Dropping pencils is a method for people trying to draw people towards themselves. For those of us that insist upon looking for "the one," I'm a big believer in the idea that worrying about being alone is what keeps you alone. For shy people, I believe that drawing attention to ourselves momentarilly changes peoples' perceptions towards them and attracts a group of people which would not normally be attracted to them. I understand that it's extremely difficult to not worry about it (still reeling from a 3yr relationship that ended 10 months ago), but I also recognize that the air of desperation and worry does quite a bit to keep the suitors at bay. While I am still formulating my ideas on relationships and such, I just think the best way to approach this is to be thankful for the other relationships in your life and not to have expectations. Expectations lead to disappointments, and eventually, when you find someone, creating an expectation of that person will do the same.

Basically, just be happy with what you have and don't worry about what you don't have. It's hard, and for some people, nearly impossible, but sometimes you just have to let go of a dream so you can grab on to what is given to you.

[apple2991]

I miss the good old days when GVSU and UC Davis were football rivals in D2.

Don't you mean you miss the good old days when Team Iceland and Team USA/USA Ducks were rivals in D2?

[broken_keyboard]

Dropping pencils is a method for people trying to draw people towards themselves.

But what if when you drop it the lead breaks - but you don't know until later when you go to sharpen it? And then it's a total disaster because you have to stand there sharpening and sharpening and it just keeps breaking off and breaking off. And then there is nothing left but a little stub and the whole thing is just too much to take. Is a relationship really worth all that? I think I have to lie down, it is too stressful to contemplate.

[applemacdude]

Haha i love this thread i wnna see how it sends up ;)

[*Y*]

That why you have two pencils. One to write with, the other to drop. :D

[18thTomorrow]

Haha i love this thread i wnna see how it sends up ;)

I'm glad my lack of a love life is so dang entertaining. My friends seem to think so too. :rolleyes:

[mactastic]

Ah don't panic... 18 wasn't exactly the high point of my love life either. The best advice I can give you is to be happy with yourself before you seek out someone else to spend your life with. If you can be perfectly content with your web of friends, that's the time you're likely to find a mate. Well that and shortly after you hook up with someone seriously. Then for some reason there are prospective dates all around, but then you're off the market... Oh irony. :p

[applemacdude]

I'm glad my lack of a love life is so dang entertaining. My friends seem to think so too. :rolleyes:


Haha not your case in particualar just the replies people give :)

[dotnina]

lol, I'm in computer science, how come no one ever asks me out? ;)

Sorry. I guess it's just my university then. :p

[iJon]

Ah don't panic... 18 wasn't exactly the high point of my love life either. The best advice I can give you is to be happy with yourself before you seek out someone else to spend your life with. If you can be perfectly content with your web of friends, that's the time you're likely to find a mate. Well that and shortly after you hook up with someone seriously. Then for some reason there are prospective dates all around, but then you're off the market... Oh irony. :p
I don't think it should be looked at like that. I'm sure she is happy with herself, just a little new to the dating scene, and nothing wrong with that. She really doesn't have to be looking for someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with. That is the great thing about dating. She dates around and figures out more and more what she wants in a man. Then when it comes for marriage she knows what she wants and doesn't have to settle.

Some things I recommend is start getting out there more and being more involved. Go to some frat parties or something. If the frat scene is completly not you then try joining some clubs. I know my campus has tons of clubs to be involved in.

You can always just wait for Queer Eye for the Straight Girl to come on Bravo next year and see what they do to girls ;)

jon

[broken_keyboard]

That why you have two pencils. One to write with, the other to drop. :D

Hmm....tricky...

[mactastic]

I don't think it should be looked at like that. I'm sure she is happy with herself, just a little new to the dating scene, and nothing wrong with that. She really doesn't have to be looking for someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with. That is the great thing about dating. She dates around and figures out more and more what she wants in a man. Then when it comes for marriage she knows what she wants and doesn't have to settle.

I'm not saying she's unhappy with herself per se, but she is obviously in some distress over a lack of a love life. Perhaps I should have said "Be happy by yourself..." I've found that when I'm distressed and trying to do something about it is when I have the worst luck. When I'm not actively looking for love is when I've found it. And while I certainly wouldn't advocate the 'date to mate' approach, she did express some desire to take that route so I was trying to give advice that met her requirements. Not everyone wants to notch their bedposts. Personally I'd say date a few people before getting serious, but that might mean you lose out on a perfectly good person because you weren't ready for The One. *shrugs* There's no hard and fast rule. Whatever works for you.

Some things I recommend is start getting out there more and being more involved. Go to some frat parties or something. If the frat scene is completly not you then try joining some clubs. I know my campus has tons of clubs to be involved in.

No offense to the frat guys here, but a frat is probably the LAST place I would advise a woman looking for a serious relationship to look. Campus clubs, as well as other activities like sports would be better as you are more likely to find people with common interests. Common interest and friendship are a good starting place for a relationship.

You can always just wait for Queer Eye for the Straight Girl to come on Bravo next year and see what they do to girls ;)

jon
Somehow I doubt that show is coming. Women seem to have less um... hygine issues than the guys on those shows typically do.

[iJon]

No offense to the frat guys here, but a frat is probably the LAST place I would advise a woman looking for a serious relationship to look. Campus clubs, as well as other activities like sports would be better as you are more likely to find people with common interests. Common interest and friendship are a good starting place for a relationship.


Somehow I doubt that show is coming. Women seem to have less um... hygine issues than the guys on those shows typically do.
I agree with finding something serious at a frat party. But it would give her a chance to get out there in front of bunch of guys and possibly get some attention.

As for the show, http://www.bravotv.com/Queer_Eye_for_the_Straight_Girl/

jon

edit: I meant saying not finding something serious :)

[apple2991]

I agree with finding something serious at a frat party. But it would give her a chance to get out there in front of bunch of guys and possibly get some attention.
jon

And by attention you mean raped?

Unbiased advice coming from a business major who is in a fraternity. (http://www.lifeofjon.com/about.html)

[iJon]

And by attention you mean raped?

Unbiased advice coming from a business major who is in a fraternity. (http://www.lifeofjon.com/about.html)
Yep, thats exactly what I meant. Every week we buy all this alcohol and throw these awesome parties and get everyone drunk, then we just rape girls. It's really a good system :rolleyes:.

jon

[apple2991]

Yep, thats exactly what I meant. Every week we buy all this alcohol and throw these awesome parties and get everyone drunk, then we just rape girls. It's really a good system :rolleyes:.

jon

Um, I know. That's kind of why many people join fraternities.

[iJon]

Um, I know. That's kind of why many people join fraternities.
Coming from the unbiased person who I assume wasn't in a frat.

You and "ignorant columnist (http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=99464&page=1&pp=25) " should get together and write a story on greek like.

You can bash me all you want. I don't really find it insulting but we have a good amount of quality members here who have participated in greek life and might find it offensive but that's up to them.

jon

[7on]

OMG, I have you beat on loneliness. Never dated or had a girlfriend. And there was a period for about a month that I cried myself to sleep everynight. Very bad. My problem I can't really talk to girls. In fact the only time I have ever told a girl I liked her was back in elementary school. Apparently she didn't feel the same way and made it known to most of my classmates in a mockingly manner. Hmmmm... there I go with my problems...

Now I think girls should ask out guys. In fact I wished they did. Just go and ask a guy out.

[Mr. Anderson]

Ask a guy out - you'll never know if you don't ask and by doing so you take control. You've got nothing to lose....

You're 18, you've got a ton of time - one thing is not to worry too much about it and don't put pressure on yourself. Over analyzing things only leads to more angst :D

D

[jasylonian]

hmm... this seems to be degenerating rather quickly. loneliness sucks and elementary school kids are mean.

no offense, but frat parties just aren't great environments for looking for keepers. it's entirely possible, and no offense to the brethren, but frat parties tend to lend themselves more to the dating for dating's sake type or the quick hookup. on the other hand, a girl i knew met her hubby at a frat party... eh, whatever. it happens. the moral of the story: don't overgeneralize in forums because you'll upset the natives.

[iJon]

hmm... this seems to be degenerating rather quickly. loneliness sucks and elementary school kids are mean.

no offense, but frat parties just aren't great environments for looking for keepers. it's entirely possible, and no offense to the brethren, but frat parties tend to lend themselves more to the dating for dating's sake type or the quick hookup. on the other hand, a girl i knew met her hubby at a frat party... eh, whatever. it happens. the moral of the story: don't overgeneralize in forums because you'll upset the natives.
And I agree, possible but not likely. I simply through it out there cause I think she needs to be more "social" and parties are a great place to do that at. Tons of people and you can meet lots of friends, guys or girls.

jon

[Daveman Deluxe]

Thanks for the heartfelt advice, daveman. I do remember your thread last summer, and I enjoyed it ;) How's that going by the way?

Well, I'm doing better. Things are kind of tenuous between the Becky and I, but that's because she did something earlier this year that hurt me, and I got angrier than I should have. And while we both apologized and accepted the apologies, there's not really any room for us to grow closer again because of her boyfriend. I have good days and bad days when it comes to dealing with that. But I'm trying to remember that Paul wrote in Galatians that we're supposed to serve one another in love (she's a Christian too), and so I ought to do so, regardless of the way she responds or treats me. It's the times that I make it a point to do that that things have been the best between us. It's DANG hard.

As far as the no-girlfriend situation, there's days that it's easier and days that it's harder there too. It seems like a zillion of my friends are getting together this term, starting with Becky and going on from there, including my roommate. On one occasion, it kind of cut me off from one of the girls that I was starting to get to see more often (platonically) and become better friends with.

The days that it's easier are the days that I've managed to turn it over to God and let him take care of it. Not coincidentally, those are the days that I'm convinced that I'll meet somebody and sooner than I think. The hard days are the days that I'm tired and have too much time to think, so I'm already depressed. Those are the days that all I do is reflect on the girls I've been interested in in recent memory and the fact that they all have boyfriends now.

But the thing is, I'm not really into just asking somebody out unless I know her really well. In all honesty, the ideal situation as I see it from this point would be where a girl I know says to herself, "Dang. This guy loves God, and he's got a servant-like and humble spirit. I really dig that." And that I would say to myself, "Dang, this girl really loves God, and she's got a servant-like and humble spirit. I really dig that."

I'm digressing. The truth is that some people are going to meet people to go out with by being social and meeting lots of people, and some people meet people by sticking to a few people that they're close to. I want the latter, and I'm guessing that you might want that too. I say go for it if that's the case. Keep on investing in those friendships. I've said it before, and I'll say it again--I know a LOT of people who got together in that way. Some are still together, some aren't, some are even married--at least one couple for over thirty years now. The great thing about being really good friends with somebody is that you know that person, and if you realize you're in love with him, you can get an idea for whether he does too. But being in love with somebody is risky. That's one of the things that makes it so wonderful--that somebody loves you enough to put it all on the line and potentially look like a doofus in your eyes is a wonderful feeling. Or so I'm told, by all manner of friends and even a girl that I fell in love with and made that fact clear to her.

I'm convinced that you'll meet somebody, but now may not be the time. But keep on keeping friends around and jut let those relationships do what they will. You won't be disappointed.

[Rocksaurus]

7on,
You tell her to ask a guy out, but are afraid to do so yourself. Perhaps you can understand her best, yet you tell her to ask a guy out like it's nothing. My advice to you is to ask a girl out. Just do it. It gets easier everytime you do it. Plus, unfortunately it's not really the girl's job to ask the guy, but the guy's job, and it's something you've gotta get used to.

As for the original poster of the topic, 18something, if you like a guy, make it reeeeeeeeally obvious to him, because it's hard for guys to put their egos out on the line (and ask you out), just like you're hesitant to, so you have to give him LOTS of confidence. Just go out there and flirt and apply this advice again and again, and as with guys asking out girls as I mentioned above, it gets easier every time... Practice makes perfect, yada yada yada. Go get 'em.

[iJon]

7on,
You tell her to ask a guy out, but are afraid to do so yourself. Perhaps you can understand her best, yet you tell her to ask a guy out like it's nothing. My advice to you is to ask a girl out. Just do it. It gets easier everytime you do it. Plus, unfortunately it's not really the girl's job to ask the guy, but the guy's job, and it's something you've gotta get used to.

As for the original poster of the topic, 18something, if you like a guy, make it reeeeeeeeally obvious to him, because it's hard for guys to put their egos out on the line (and ask you out), just like you're hesitant to, so you have to give him LOTS of confidence. Just go out there and flirt and apply this advice again and again, and as with guys asking out girls as I mentioned above, it gets easier every time... Practice makes perfect, yada yada yada. Go get 'em.
Exacly. It takes practice. It's also easier said that done. We can visualize it all day in our heads but its when you actually make it happen that it counts. Biggest fear for the guys is just getting rejected. But in reality we have to realize that the worse they can say is no and you move on to the next.

jon

[absolut_mac]

Tell me how.

You've gotten some good advice from MR readers here.

My advice on learning how to flirt - watch the girls that do. Pick up pointers/ideas from them and try the same (or similar) things that you feel comfortable with and see how they work out.

Also, from a this guys perspective, you sound like you are quite attractive. A lot of younger guys are intimidated by attractive women because they feel that the girl is so attractive, guys must be breaking down her door to date her, so they don't bother asking her out - you know, the fear of rejection.

If a guy seems interested in you, or if you are good enough friends with him and would like to date him, ask him out. Even if you are old school. Try it, you might be surprised at the results and might even enjoy it.

Lastly, just relax (yeah, I know, easy for me to say) and be yourself. No guy wants to ask a girl out only to find out that she deceived him about who or what type of person she really is.

Good luck and let us know how it goes :)

[pseudobrit]

the worse they can say is no and you move on to the next.

No, the worst thing a chick can say is "I'm pregnant." "It's yours" is a close second.

[18thTomorrow]

Hey, so much good advice and many good comments and great discussion going on here. I hesitated to air my goofy personal problems on an internet forum, but I'm glad I did, just for the discussion it's generated. Awesome!

Daveman, good to hear from you. Your reply and testimony of faith are amazing. You seem to hold identical views and positions to mine. In fact, you seem to be a lot like what I'm looking for :p I know how it feels when all of your friends are hooking up...with each other, no less! and you're the odd one out. My two best friends, growing up, just got engaged. While I love them, I'm incredibly happy for them and taking lots of joy in planning the upcoming wedding, there's still a part of me that's absolutely green. Anywho, Best wishes to you.

As for the whole greek life thing, iJon, that's really cool that you enjoy it. I have friends who participate/ed in greek life and they think it's great. I have no issues with it, but it's just not for me.

I think one of my problems may have been that I was raised to be uber-polite. Therefore the whole eye-contact and looking people over thing may have gone right over head. It's not polite to stare ;) However, now that I think of it, I love it when I get an admiring glance from someone of the opposite sex. Why should some guy feel any different? So, to-do item #1: More Eyes.

I find it funny that some people have said, "be confident! that's attractive!" and others have said things to the effect that they're scared of confident girls :) I suppose the bottom line is be myself, you can't please everybody.

As for asking a guy out, I just might, provided I'm interested enough. But that brings us to the rules of proper dating. If I do the asking out, who pays? That could get awkward.

So thanks ya'll, I love all of the awesome replies that have been generated and thoughts that have been shared!

[absolut_mac]

As for asking a guy out, I just might, provided I'm interested enough. But that brings us to the rules of proper dating. If I do the asking out, who pays? That could get awkward.

The few times that I was asked out, I assumed that my date would pay, and sometimes she already had, but out of politeness - and in gratitude to her asking me out - I always offered to pay :)

I find it funny that some people have said, "be confident! that's attractive!" and others have said things to the effect that they're scared of confident girls :) I suppose the bottom line is be myself, you can't please everybody.

Yes, just be yourself. Having said that though, I think the confusion stems from the fact that men are attracted to confident, self assured women, but are definitely turned off by women who come across as cocky and too sure of themselves, eg I'm just so gorgeous and I know it too!!

[apple2991]

No, the worst thing a chick can say is "I'm pregnant." "It's yours" is a close second.

Mom?

[jsw]

No, the worst thing a chick can say is "I'm pregnant." "It's yours" is a close second.
Yeah, but you rarely hear that when asking a girl out for the first time. Except, maybe, after one of the aforementioned frat parties... ;)

[jsw]

I think one of my problems may have been that I was raised to be uber-polite. Therefore the whole eye-contact and looking people over thing may have gone right over head. It's not polite to stare ;) However, now that I think of it, I love it when I get an admiring glance from someone of the opposite sex. Why should some guy feel any different? So, to-do item #1: More Eyes.Just be sure to go for the slightly-lingering-eye-contact-with-a-hint-of-a-smile thing, not the staring-like-a-stalker thing. ;)

I find it funny that some people have said, "be confident! that's attractive!" and others have said things to the effect that they're scared of confident girls :) I suppose the bottom line is be myself, you can't please everybody.Read "confident" as "self-assured". Not everyone wants to date someone who seems to know all the answers, but everyone likes people who seem comfortable with themselves.

I find it funny that some people have said, "be As for asking a guy out, I just might, provided I'm interested enough. But that brings us to the rules of proper dating. If I do the asking out, who pays? That could get awkward.
I think you should always offer to pay if you ask someone out, and offer to help pay if you were asked out. Generally, though, most guys will pick up the tab on the first few dates, although it shouldn't be a real issue. I mean, if you haven't had a date yet, I'm guessing you've had time to save up the $25 a movie date would cost. ;) But, really, the guy will probably pay for all/most of it anyway. Seems unfair to us men, but that's the way it is....

[PlaceofDis]

yes dont stare, but glance enough that he knows that you are looking, catch his eye and smile, that will go along way, if he is interested and sees that, well things will probably progress from there

like jsw said, confident should be taken more as comfortable and self assured, people dont want someone who is constantly self deprecating its depressing to hear someone who keeps putting themselves down, but we also dont want a person with a huge ego, thats difficult too, be yourself, you dont sound egotistical, you dont sound like you have a low self esteem, although we all go through periods when we have that stigma of ourselves

be yourself, its key, flirt a bit, and if you notice a guy looking you over, its probably because he thinks your cute or hot and interesting, look back, etc, etc, and thing will happen, guys have fragile egos, we are afraid of being shot down consistently, its the guys who have girls clamoring to get them that will approach any girl, and trust me very few guys have that

on another note, heres the thing, there are no set rules for dating, each person is different, has a different perspective, so each person you date will expect different things, its a fact, just be prepared for it
as to the issue of paying, if a guy asks you out, expect him to pay for it more than not, unless its a platonic situation at first, then you each would pay for your own stuff, which isnt bad btw, getting to know someone at alike a coffee house and just hanging out as friends a few times before going on an actual date. If you ask a guy out, be prepared for some guys to assume that means that you will pay, but some guys will step up and pay, and others might want to do it 50/50. like i said its different with each person.

no one is supposed to ask the other one out, guys and girls are both scared and feel awkward approaching someone new for the first time, just make it easy for guys to approach you by not seeing aloof and above them, dont play extremely hard to get, guys wont bother, some might, but there is one girl in my class that i think is absolutely adorable and sweet, yet she plays it up like she is above some people, and crap like that, she will never hear from me though because thats not the type of person i would go for

and just to let you know, you sound like a very sweet person, and a very genuine individual, those are great qualities, and im sure your a cute girl too, things can be hard your freshman year, make friends and dont force anything, things will always get better, oh and if i lived closer i would ask ya out :D

[Digidesign]

what in the world is wrong here??
By all appearances it would seem I'm extremely dateable. I'm blonde, big blue eyes, 5'3", 127 lbs, feminine.

Haha... riiiight. :rolleyes:

[PlaceofDis]

Haha... riiiight. :rolleyes:


im sure shes cute, just not used to dating, i know plenty of VERY attractive girls who are single. Guys just dont approach them and they dont approach guys, but seriously, if you have nothing to contribute to the conversation why post?

[pseudobrit]

If I do the asking out, who pays?

For what? Dating doesn't have to cost money.

[rueyeet]

Well, reading through the thread, almost everything I would have said has been said by someone, so I'll just hit the highlights.

It's okay to be old-school in wanting the guy to make the first move, and to date with a view to marriage. But you're going to have to date around a bit to find your "One", and reconcile yourself to the fact that it'll take some trial and error. Have the goal in the back of your mind, but don't put so much pressure on your relationships to live up to that goal (and your ideals) that you end up sabotaging your efforts. In other words, dating without an agenda will probably go a long way towards actually achieving it. jasylonian is right: most times, worrying about being alone is what keeps you alone.

As for flirting, look around your circle(s) of friends and identify the ones who are good at it, and learn from them. After a while, osmosis does its thing and you can start to develop your own personal flirting style. It's not a matter of becoming something you're not, but of developing a part of yourself you may have neglected up until now. I basically learned everything I know about flirting from my college roommate, and while I will never in all my days be the hard-core flirt she is, I can manage for myself. :)

And above all, relax. So everybody else may have been hooking up from grade whatever, so what? You're only 18, and have at least four years before you'll even have your bachelor's in CompSci, and maybe more if you want more than a bachelor's. A lot can, and will, change in that span of time; it's not like there's a rush, y'know?

OT:http://www.bravotv.com/Queer_Eye_for_the_Straight_Girl/ :)Oh crap. I can so see my friends submitting me for that. :eek:

[blackfox]

18thTomorrow,

Here is an idea, although admittedly somewhat left-field:

Spend some money and get yourself a makeover; a new haircut, outfit, etc.

At the risk of being a little sexist, the boost in confidence you might get from doing such and the fact that you look better than usual, might be enough to seal the deal with some lucky gentleman.

Is is a shallow solution? Probably. Still, I can't help thinking that even in a worst-case scenario, that you wouldn't feel better. This can be done with or without the help of gay men, televised ones or not...

[Crikey]

Hey, 18thTomorrow,

Lots of good things said here. My contribution is to echo the advice not to get worried or stressed about things. You are young and you have time.

If you're a Christian, have you looked into Christian social groups around your campus? That would be one way to meet like-minded people. Is there a CS club on campus? I always recommend taking dance classes as a way of meeting people.

More eye contact with others will definitely help.

But mostly, relax and don't worry. Things will work out.

Crikey

PS, what's wrong with 42-year-olds? ;-)

[atszyman]

Just be sure to go for the slightly-lingering-eye-contact-with-a-hint-of-a-smile thing, not the staring-like-a-stalker thing. ;)

Never discount the staring like a stalker approach. It got me my wife.

I kept seeing her in the halls at work, unfortunately due to the hammering of sexual harassment laws and my own social defects I could never bring myself to actually talk to her. (It appears that all my life what I've found most attractive in women is their ability to render me unable to speak).

Eventually she started asking my department administrative assistant about me and things progressed from there.

There is one caveat. Every time she saw me I made eye contact. She never caught me checking her out (not that I didn't check her out, she just never saw me do it).

Now we are happily married for over 2 years with a beautiful one month old daughter.

I guess the lesson is you never know what approach will work.

[stubeeef]

Have you tried posting your stats along with notification of a desperate emotional state on a geek forum yet?

Oh, wait... :D :D :D (laughed outloud!!)

[pseudobrit]

In all honesty, the ideal situation as I see it from this point would be where a girl I know says to herself, "Dang. This guy loves God, and he's got a servant-like and humble spirit. I really dig that." And that I would say to myself, "Dang, this girl really loves God, and she's got a servant-like and humble spirit. I really dig that."

The ideal situation as I see it involves a girl saying to herself, "dang, I'm really horny and want to shag the brains out of this guy." And I would say to myself, "dang, this chick wants it bad, I guess I'll oblige."

But that's just me... or is it?

[stubeeef]

18th-You are on the right track, I don't think the majority of people find a spouse in college, alot, not the majority (I'm guessing).

I went on a lot of blind dates, it was a blast, box of chocolates and all.

You are going to probably kiss alot of frogs to get to the prince.

Sounds like you have your head on straight, and are vastly more mature than those your age, good luck! I think you and daveman ought to have lunch :D ! At least a pm back and forth-you just never know. I met my fabulous wife on a blind date, got married 10 months later, been married 14 yrs.

I have laughed outloud on this thread more than anyother so far, good straight advice, just funny to hear. jsw
Just be sure to go for the slightly-lingering-eye-contact-with-a-hint-of-a-smile thing, not the staring-like-a-stalker thing

18th-just looked at your profile, you and daveman are music people, he and probably you are very compatible......comeon......you two...... :)

[edesignuk]

I cannot continue this thread any longer without seeing a picture ;). But seriously, I need one.

jon
*BUMP* http://upload.edesignuk.net/uploaded_data/smilies/smilie_pics.gif

[pseudobrit]

*BUMP* http://upload.edesignuk.net/uploaded_data/smilies/smilie_pics.gif

The decent human being in me wants to tell her not to.

But then my indecent id gives that part a beatdown and now I must concur.

For this thread to continue, we need to see pics. If you have any from the beach, that's ideal.

And no family photos. We don't want dad or grandma disturbing us in the periphery.

[blackfox]

The ideal situation as I see it involves a girl saying to herself, "dang, I'm really horny and want to shag the brains out of this guy." And I would say to myself, "dang, this chick wants it bad, I guess I'll oblige."

But that's just me... or is it?
haha...To each his own, I guess...

18th tomorrow, let this be a lesson. For every nice, pious guy like Daveman, there is a someone <ahem> like Pseudobrit, or rather, several probably.

Personally 'brit, I might add the words "amazingly attractive" to your statement, as long as we are talking ideals...

[blackfox]

The decent human being in me wants to tell her not to.

But then my indecent id gives that part a beatdown and now I must concur.

For this thread to continue, we need to see pics. If you have any from the beach, that's ideal.

And no family photos. We don't want dad or grandma disturbing us in the periphery.
18th,
If you have the courage to post a picture for this raving lot, then taking the iniatiative should be a walk in the park...

[pseudobrit]

18th, tomorrow, let this be a lesson. For every nice, pious guy like Daveman, there is a someone <ahem> like Pseudobrit, or rather, several probably.

Says the man who shagged a chick from the bar on election night. Remove the plank from thine own eye, sinner!

Personally 'brit, I might add the words "amazingly attractive" to your statement, as long as we are talking ideals...

Oh, that was a given. If she weren't, I wouldn't have even noticed her over there all checking out my ass and stuff. I'd be like, "why's that ugly chick staring at me? Maybe she's got a lazy eye or something."

[blackfox]

Says the man who shagged a chick from the bar on election night. Remove the plank from thine own eye, sinner!
I didn't say I wasn't one of the "several"...besides I need that plank to get over to said strumpet, or alternately, to walk off of...

Besides, we have been dating since. Weird.


Oh, that was a given. If she weren't, I wouldn't have even noticed her over there all checking out my ass and stuff. I'd be like, "why's that ugly chick staring at me? Maybe she's got a lazy eye or something."
Too early in the morning to be laughing that hard. I choked on my coffee. You must be quite the catch mate...

[apple2991]

Never discount the staring like a stalker approach. It got me my wife.

I kept seeing her in the halls at work, unfortunately due to the hammering of sexual harassment laws and my own social defects I could never bring myself to actually talk to her. (It appears that all my life what I've found most attractive in women is their ability to render me unable to speak).

Eventually she started asking my department administrative assistant about me and things progressed from there.

There is one caveat. Every time she saw me I made eye contact. She never caught me checking her out (not that I didn't check her out, she just never saw me do it).

Now we are happily married for over 2 years with a beautiful one month old daughter.

I guess the lesson is you never know what approach will work.
Yeah, but you don't know that she's cheating on you.

[stubeeef]

18thTomorrow,

Here is an idea, although admittedly somewhat left-field:

Spend some money and get yourself a makeover; a new haircut, outfit, etc.

At the risk of being a little sexist, the boost in confidence you might get from doing such and the fact that you look better than usual, might be enough to seal the deal with some lucky gentleman.

Is is a shallow solution? Probably. Still, I can't help thinking that even in a worst-case scenario, that you wouldn't feel better. This can be done with or without the help of gay men, televised ones or not...

Reminds me of the scene in MIB where will smith tells the wife of the farmer that she needs to go to bloomingdales and by herself some nice dresses, "then call a decorator, cause damn..." :p :p :p

[atszyman]

Yeah, but you don't know that she's cheating on you.

Yes but trust it the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. You can never be absolutely positive your significant other isn't cheating on you unless you tail them 24-7 but a relationship like that has bigger problems.

[stubeeef]

OK 18th, it's been 48 hours and a Friday nite, since we have heard from you, HOW GOs IT?

Is it
A) "So many men, So little time!"

B) "So many exams, so little time!"

OR

C) "So many men, and too many phobias, I need more time!"

[7on]

-

[18thTomorrow]

OK 18th, it's been 48 hours and a Friday nite, since we have heard from you, HOW GOs IT?

Is it
A) "So many men, So little time!"

B) "So many exams, so little time!"

OR

C) "So many men, and too many phobias, I need more time!"

Sorry. I thought I posted last night but I guess I closed safari instead of clicking submit reply. Oops.

I'd say it's a combo of B and C. Thursday and Friday I worked all day + late in the evening because my partner and I had a project due. Saturday was homework catchup day/2nd job day. Today was "a day of rest"--made extremely restful by two church services, a recital, choir practice, and a prayer meeting. :-)

Check back with me a week from Tuesday--that's when Christmas break starts and I plan to have more time to test out my flirting prowess and test-drive the hints given in this thread :)

and 7on, good luck with the girl. If she has any class at all she shouldn't make a big deal of your age difference/her ability to drink, your being prohibited to. (My best friends who are engaged right now are 20(guy) and 24(girl) and it works out fine because she's mature enough to not bitch about things that can't be changed.) Which, by the way, I think is ridiculous. I'm 18--I vote, pay taxes, and could enter the military, even be killed in the line of duty. But I can't have a stupid beer if I feel like it. The kids who will drink, will drink no matter what, law or not. It's the rest of us, who would rather not be busted for it, who suffer.

[stubeeef]

Yes sunday is busy, but in a good way!
My wife is in the choir, does 99% of the solos, also an elementary music teacher, has a 76 kid choir, and 124 kid 5th grade holiday program in work, and more........
Hows about Dave though? ;)

PS how was the recital?

[PlaceofDis]

So I started hanging out with this girl I like. It's crazy the kind of stuff we have in common. We like the same Movies, Music and TV shows. I'm obviously approaching it with much care as we haven't "dated" yet - just hung out. Which does involve more people involved with the hanging out. I do feel a little bad though, she's 21 and I'm 19 so she can drink/visit bars and I can't. Dunno how it'll work out though. But here's hoping for the best.

thats awesome man, take things slow, get to know her, slowly decrease the amount of people you hang out with, or not and just start hanging out with her alone, but not dating yet, and dont worry about the age thing unless she's a party animal, if she likes you then the age thing wont matter at all

if you need advice im sure we are here to help you out, good luck!

[Brother Michael]

7on - I let age rob me of a perfectly good oppertunity (well not completly, but it factored into it at first). She is 18 and in a senior at high school. I am 20 and a sophomore in college...I felt wrong. I felt like I was doing something wrong, though clearly by law I wasn't. Doesn't matter.

iJon - what FRATERNITY (or frat, I don't care, most do) are you in? I just signed a bid to Delta Sigma Phi. I dig it a lot. We have people of all different cultures and majors and stereotypes. A few preps, a few punks, a few drunks, a few scholars, a few midmen, a few jewish, a few christian, a few homosexual, a few straight, and all the inbetween.

18th - As I said I jsut had an awkward situation myself with a girl, but like you i came to college very very green. I had no girlfriend in highschool and am very shy around most girls. I dont consider myself bad looking, I think that there are better looking guys then me, however, I think I have a better personality, and feel I have plans for my life. At anyrate, I learned a lot with this girl about what to do what not to do. I can say this too you, if you make a small first initiative the rest will follow suit.

Examples: I was working in the art buildings computer lab and a girl needed some stuff printed off (this one I kinda broke the ice but she helped out too ill splain). I talked to her for a few minutes, then somehow the printer the broke....WTF??? :rolleyes: Actually seriously, it was f'd up. I had to figure it out while talking to her. Anyways, we started talking about classes and such and she asked about a class I was going to take and i helped her get into it. Anyways, I asked her for her S/N, and she gave it to me, and I gave her mine (this is where she came in). She IM'd me first (oddly enough it was like an hour after I saw her). At that point, I figured that she didn't mind me talking to her, so I continue to talk to her. In fact I spent all night hanging out with her (in person) helping her with a grahpic design project. Point is, I now have another female friend that could become a relationship, with some time. Gotta work at it a bit.

Next example. At the rec working out. All of sudden a girl from my American Culture Studies class (I know what you are thinking...we have culture?!) just comes running up to me and asks if I am in her class and such and talks to me for a few minutes. I had basically a huge confidence boost right there. I asked her out for the night about 1/2 an hour later during a "coincidental" meeting up at the exit. She, refused stating it was her roommates 20th bday party...but the point is, I had some confidence to ask her, because she let me know that I could talk to her. You follow at all?

At anyrate, the Greek scene is a great way to meet some people, or at least practice. If you are worried about your safety, go to one of the lesser known party Fraternities. It's no guarentee, I mean people are people, not everyone fits an EXACT stereotype, and there can always be a wolf in sheeps clothing, no matter what party you go to. Keep your drink with you and don't go home alone, or don't go home with a guy alone on first meeting them and you will be fine.

Also since you are in college, try The Facebook.com (www.thefacebook.com) They might have your college listed. You don't have to meet someone online through IM per se, but you might see someone at a party who is on there or connected through one of your friends.

Take it easy.

Mike

BTW: a picture would help.

[Brother Michael]

Oh and if like anyone in your computer science classes, just get a shirt that says "Got Root?" and I am sure you will be beating them off with a stick...

Mike

[7on]

-

[CubaTBird]

yea 7on u go, woot woot :o

[7on]

-

[Brother Michael]

Yeah, AIM is basically "double click for confidence" and I am guilty of spending time waiting for someone to get on. Not endless amounts, but if I have nothing better to do, I will watch TV and just sit here waiting. That is the obessive in my coming out (thank you mother :rolleyes: ). I'll post my pic up on my profile later...at any rate 7on do you have some sort of disease? or do you smell bad? I mean you don't look like the type that would be a complete social recluse.

Mike

[topicolo]

EDIT: oh and since michael mentioned looks --> me (http://truman.collegefacebook.com/userpics/149601-102441-a.jpg)
She did mention me being hot -- though I know she uses that term rather loosely, not necessarily a term of affection. I think we were talking about Brad Pitt - and I mentioned how I did not find men attractive, and I said how anyone can look good in a suit, execute me or something along those lines. haha, I had to look away when I said thanks because of the whole "adoration of female faces" thing I have. haha, fun nonetheless.

Good call on that, apparently women don't see guys as someone they're into or not. It's weird, but they overanalyze everything the guy does and also give signals that they expect you to analyze properly. A "hot" comment doesn't mean that they're into you, it just means that they are showing signs of being interested. So far, you seem to be doing well with her 7on. Keep it going and good luck. Just don't act too needy or clingy and you should be fine.


18th: how is the manhunt coming? any cute guys you're interested in yet? The comment about being confident is totally the truth. If you want to attract confident guys that aren't going to latch onto you like a blood-sucking leech and never let go, you have to act that way yourself. The guys who are too afraid to approach a confident girl are also the ones who will buy you chocolates and flowers every day and dote on your every needs (which can be fun for a couple of days, but gets very boring, very quickly--unless you want to give away a lot of chocolate and flowers as free christmass presents).
AOL and MSN are great ways to practice your verbal flirting skills. Think of it as a man-simulator: you can say anything to the person, and he won't have to know who you are and will act like any regular guy (unless you find the special one). One thing to watch out for is 3rd or 4th year students descending on you freshmen because they think you are inexperienced and easy (which is kinda true). Just keep a look out for the right kind of intersting, confident guy, who isn't trying to have sex with you at the first possible opportunity.

Good Luck

[gwuMACaddict]

havent checked back in a while, but still didn't see any pictures... :p ;)

[pseudobrit]

I mean I was literally shaking as I was typing, which is why meeting girls has been hard. Talking to them upfront is really embarrassing for me because I get super nervous.

A cure is on the way.

Soon you will discover the world of beer.

[cluthz]

A few years ago I was very anxious about dating and flirting, and I haven't had many girlfriends. Most people think its related to their appearance, but they're very wrong ..
Luckily I have a very good friend (a few years older than me too) who learned me a few easy moves to turn this around :D

The first step was to get self confident when flirting:
Go to a club or a party with your friends and flirt with someone just for fun. If you try to hard you will fail! Do it for the fun of it. I you get someone's attention at that party/club dance and talk with he/she for awhile and then leave he/she, and hang out with your friends for the rest of the night instead (this give you so much self-esteem!), if he/she comes looking for you, then you know that you have his/her attention 100%!

If you makes flirting into a game instead of something serious, then its so much easier to handle that you are getting rejected.

[edesignuk]

havent checked back in a while, but still didn't see any pictures... :p ;)
Ditto :D

[wdlove]

I'm Happy that am no longer in the dating scene. Trust is a thing that has to be earned. In a true commited relationship there would be trust. No worry of your significant other straying. True love really means that all you think about is the other person. So in that case fidelity shouldn't be a problem.

[apple2991]

Sounds like the only guy who's gonna make you happy is Jesus.

You have trouble getting guys for one of two reasons: either you are hideously ugly, or you are a failure as a human being. Add to that the fact that you haven't posted any pictures of yourself, and I'm going with hideously ugly--which in and of itself is failing as a human being. Whatever, I'm sure this will prompt you to post some pictures of your hot friend or something.

For better or for worse, how you look really is an important factor, one which you have witheld from those from whom you seek advice. If you're not hot, the best way to get any guy of value is to be really flirtatious and sexual, which makes Jesus sad.

Whatever.

[18thTomorrow]

I get the message.
I wanted to post a picture that shows all of me, but surprisingly enough, out of my 5000 image iPhoto library, I could find like 5 that were of me :p (I'm an obsessive-compulsive takes-my-camera-everywhere type photographer and it's on a rare occasion that I'll hand the camera over to someone else...) So this picture is a year old. Sorry. Since it's been taken I grew out the bangs and started wearing a lot more makeup...

http://blh.ambitiouslemon.com/Randomphotos/profilepic.jpg

So there I am. I'm no Kiera, that's for sure.

[18thTomorrow]

Sounds like the only guy who's gonna make you happy is Jesus.

You have trouble getting guys for one of two reasons: either you are hideously ugly, or you are a failure as a human being. Add to that the fact that you haven't posted any pictures of yourself, and I'm going with hideously ugly--which in and of itself is failing as a human being. Whatever, I'm sure this will prompt you to post some pictures of your hot friend or something.

For better or for worse, how you look really is an important factor, one which you have witheld from those from whom you seek advice. If you're not hot, the best way to get any guy of value is to be really flirtatious and sexual, which makes Jesus sad.

Whatever.

holy freaking cow, you make me laugh. that was the most comical statement I've seen yet...

[gwuMACaddict]

Sounds like the only guy who's gonna make you happy is Jesus.

You have trouble getting guys for one of two reasons: either you are hideously ugly, or you are a failure as a human being. Add to that the fact that you haven't posted any pictures of yourself, and I'm going with hideously ugly--which in and of itself is failing as a human being. Whatever, I'm sure this will prompt you to post some pictures of your hot friend or something.

For better or for worse, how you look really is an important factor, one which you have witheld from those from whom you seek advice. If you're not hot, the best way to get any guy of value is to be really flirtatious and sexual, which makes Jesus sad.

Whatever.

don't be such an ass

[blackfox]

18th,

You are quite fetching, I shouldn't think you should have any problems with the guys. Now you just have to work on the motivation.

Just to qualify my above statement, do you have a full-length photo? I ask because some men tend to like a nice caboose. The state of yours remains, sadly, a mystery.

Could be a deal-breaker.

I am not completely serious, btw. Nor am I completely joking. I figure the longer this thread continues and the more you have to endure, the more likely you will come away able to succeed at your stated goal.

[stubeeef]

Or get ticked off and ask out some guy out of spite!

Dave, where r u dude?

[18thTomorrow]

18th,

You are quite fetching, I shouldn't think you should have any problems with the guys. Now you just have to work on the motivation.

Just to qualify my above statement, do you have a full-length photo? I ask because some men tend to like a nice caboose. The state of yours remains, sadly, a mystery.

Could be a deal-breaker.

I am not completely serious, btw. Nor am I completely joking. I figure the longer this thread continues and the more you have to endure, the more likely you will come away able to succeed at your stated goal.

:) thanks, blackfox. your affirmations are encouraging and make me smile.

I can't believe how long this thread has lasted, and how many replies I've gotten. It's quite amusing.

I'll work on the full-length pic, if people are interested ;) I like to think I have a fairly nice 'caboose' as you call it. It is neither very huge nor nonexistent.

[7on]

-

[PlaceofDis]

wow 18, you are definitely a cutie and one that i would ask out if you lived closer to me thats for sure

since this semester is winding down, meeting people is hard at this point, finals and xmas break and all, but if there is a cute guy you like, slip him your # or AIM sn so you guys could chat over break, it does mean you take the first step, But, then the ball is in his park and up to him, just a thought though

i dont think you will have any problems meeting a guy, we just have to get your confidence up because you are certainly attractive

[18thTomorrow]

aaaawwww.... more smiles for you, Place of Dis...

[Daveman Deluxe]

Dave, where r u dude?

I'm right here.

I must say, it bugs me that folks are asking Britt if there's anybody she's interested in yet. Just 'cause she's got dating advice now doesn't mean she's going to meet somebody she's interested in right off the bat.

Britt, take your time. Never be interested in somebody just to be interested in somebody. Even worse is to go out with somebody just to go out with somebody. That's called being desperate, and it doesn't work. If you're desperate, you really shouldn't be in a relationship anyway. I've made that mistake before and I never want to make it again. Desperation is as piss-poor of a reason to get involved with somebody as there ever was.

You're pretty cute, BTW. :D

[topicolo]

don't be such an ass
Don't be such a tightass


apple2991 was obviously joking and he got her to post her pic, didn't he?

[revenuee]

Put-out ... it's a very effective dating tool -- especially around exams -- people are very tense, sex is a great stress releif --- it'll be your advantage

:p

[MacAztec]

well then, the picture explains everything....

[18thTomorrow]

I'm right here.

I must say, it bugs me that folks are asking Britt if there's anybody she's interested in yet. Just 'cause she's got dating advice now doesn't mean she's going to meet somebody she's interested in right off the bat.

Britt, take your time. Never be interested in somebody just to be interested in somebody. Even worse is to go out with somebody just to go out with somebody. That's called being desperate, and it doesn't work. If you're desperate, you really shouldn't be in a relationship anyway. I've made that mistake before and I never want to make it again. Desperation is as piss-poor of a reason to get involved with somebody as there ever was.

You're pretty cute, BTW. :D

Daveman, I wholeheartedly agree with you. Wholeheartedly. You're awesome! :)

[18thTomorrow]

Don't be such a tightass


apple2991 was obviously joking and he got her to post her pic, didn't he?

Actually.
I was in the process of posting that pic even before I saw his post. I read the thread, went to post my pic, and by the time I was finished, his post had appeared before mine. However, his posting had no bearing on my decision to reveal my looks.

[PlaceofDis]

I'm right here.

I must say, it bugs me that folks are asking Britt if there's anybody she's interested in yet. Just 'cause she's got dating advice now doesn't mean she's going to meet somebody she's interested in right off the bat.

Britt, take your time. Never be interested in somebody just to be interested in somebody. Even worse is to go out with somebody just to go out with somebody. That's called being desperate, and it doesn't work. If you're desperate, you really shouldn't be in a relationship anyway. I've made that mistake before and I never want to make it again. Desperation is as piss-poor of a reason to get involved with somebody as there ever was.

You're pretty cute, BTW. :D

your right on 110% i wouldnt be surprised if she was interested in a guy and then came asking for advice, perhaps thats why people are curious and asking

im glad your smiling, and like Dave said, take your time, and relax, dont be afraid to flit though, its fun and its can be an icebreaker at times

good luck and now im off to talk to the girl i have a huge crush on

[gwuMACaddict]

well then, the picture explains everything....

how so...?

[ravenvii]

http://www.kaitaia.com/funny/pictures/hitit/hitit_alien.jpg

[dotnina]

This thread has really taken off ... looks like we need a new Dating subforum. ;)

18th, you're cute and you have a nice smile -- it seems like the MR males certainly think so, too! I concur that it's just a matter of time until you find someone or someone finds you. You're probably tired of hearing this, but just keep trying to make yourself "available" ... study in the library, go to coffee shops, and talk to people in your classes. It really is an excellent way to meet people and refresh bonds with acquaintances.

Keep us updated on any possible developments. :)

[pseudobrit]

Drop 15 and give us a new pic.

[pseudobrit]

MR males certainly think so, too!

You can't trust anything from the mouths of sex-starved packs of geeks such as us.

a/s/l?

[blackfox]

Drop 15 and give us a new pic.
15 lbs? Why?

That is not very nice from a sex-starved geek such as yourself, psuedo.

I do agree on the new pic, however.

BTW, 18th - you should add your photo (or two) to the MR pic thread. Then you can see what the rest of us poor bastards look like. Even I put in a picture recently...represent. (that goes for you too Pseudo)

[pseudobrit]

15 lbs? Why?

That is not very nice from a sex-starved geek such as yourself, psuedo.

She's asking for advice; I'm offering. I think if she dropped 15 she'd have a very tight body.

I do agree on the new pic, however.

Of course you would. Sex-starved geek.

Even I put in a picture recently...represent. (that goes for you too Pseudo)

Ha... I think my picture in there is so blurry as to be unrecognisable. But you can make out the Pens jersey I'm wearing as I'm skating.

[iJon]

how so...?
Hahahaha, is it really that hard to figure out what he is saying...

jon

[gwuMACaddict]

well... :p

[apple2991]

well then, the picture explains everything....

Agreed.

[Brother Michael]

You want my honest opinion about the pic, I have seen girls better looking...but I have seen more that are worse looking. I would say you are in the middleish.

You have asked for an opinion from a guy, I have given it, and I can be pretty shallow sometimes.

I agree with what was said, try working out, don't go EXTREME, like trying to lose 10-15 in a week, give it a semester (or about 6 months whatever) don't do anything drastic that is not healthy.

Also, I am no Brad Pitt...but as I have said you wanted an opinion.

Mike

[18thTomorrow]

actually.

If you read back, I never asked for any opinions re: my looks. It was ya'll who were continuously badgering for a pic. I only obliged.

[18thTomorrow]

that's not to say I'm opposed to your sharing your opinion. I'm not going to be brokenhearted because some nerd on an internet forum says I'm homely. I might laugh at you though.

I actually have lost some weight since that picture was taken. Then I was around 142. I spent the past summer working for a cleaning company and all that lifting, bending, vaccuming, etc. tends to make one a bit trimmer.

And now that I go to school, sometimes I can't afford to eat :rolleyes:

[jsw]

I don't see any reason to gain or lose weight. As others have said, your appearance is obviously not what's keeping guys from asking you out. I didn't realize you were such a tree-hugger, but I suppose that's not the reason either. ;) Although I think you're actually supposed to face thre tree when hugging it.

Anyway, keep us up to date (no pun intended, well, not really). I don't think you'll have any problems at all. You're attractive, you're intelligent (hey, you're on this forum), you're focused, and you have an idea of what you're looking for. I'd agree with others that you shouldn't wait for "the one" to start dating, as often you can better appreciate someone by comparing them to others and realizing how good they really are for you (i.e., often, your "checklist" needs to be adjusted once you have a better idea of what is truly important and what needs to be removed from it).

For God's sake, you're 18. You're not exactly the oldest person on Earth who hasn't really dated yet. I mean, if you're still dateless by the time you turn 19, I'd worry. But now, I think there's still hope for you. :)

[Brother Michael]

Ok, that was out of line, you are right you aske for advice, and you are right we did ask for a picture.

Like I said, you are far better looking than a lot of girls that I know personally...thank God they don't read this forum. :rolleyes:

And, I guess I am biased about the working out thing, because I personally dig girls who work out, as I like too as well.

I am sorry.

Mike

[7on]

-

[18thTomorrow]

70n, congrats, that is so cool! best wishes to ya.

Mike, apology accepted though it's not entirely necessary. You're a good guy.

[revenuee]

The only negative is that she wants sex.

I fail to see the negative


And I'm not ready to offer my virginity yet.

You're 19, you're ready

[iJon]

HAHAHAAHAHAHAH, boy do I feel foolish.

Apparently this girl feels the same way about me. Curses!!!! lol

I'm just so excited. The only negative is that she wants sex. And I'm not ready to offer my virginity yet. LOL anyway - we're gonna hangout and cuddle and stuff - it'll be awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks guys!!! I'm the king of the world!!!!!!!!
Well just to let you know, if your not willing to give it to her than she is going to get it from somewhere else.

Cuddle and stuff?? At the rate your going your going to be her gay friend/gal pal soon, so don't worry, a relationship or sex will completly out of the picture soon.

jon

[7on]

-

[iJon]

Well this will probably go against my usual advice and things I say on this board. Sex is fun, not doubt about it, but for my friends who haven't had it I always recommend them wait and share it with someone they are very comfortable with, if not love at the time. That's how I did it and I never regret it.

Granted I am not with that girl anymore but it was a nice and calm experience. Now in college I was already prepared and have my occasional one night stands. If you really like her go for it, just put a top on it cause you don't know where those other two guys have been. As for drinking, just get used to. Drink, have fun but just learn your limits.

jon

[7on]

-

[pseudobrit]

I'm just so excited. The only negative is that she wants sex.

You know, if you e-mailed this to Maddox, he'd probably want to stab you in the face.

yeah, we're going to wait a while of course. But we'll be cuddling in the meantime

Damn, dude, are you a man or a puppy? Tap that ass! Then roll over and go to sleep.

[iJon]

You know, if you e-mailed this to Maddox, he'd probably want to stab you in the face.



Damn, dude, are you a man or a puppy? Tap that ass! Then roll over and go to sleep.
HAHA, now that was some funny stuff.

jon

[topicolo]

yeah, we're going to wait a while of course. But we'll be cuddling in the meantime. That's what I meant about it.

Just be sure to never give her ANYTHING she wants whenever she wants it. You have to sometimes make them work for it a bit so that they enjoy it more when they do get it. If you begin to do anything to make her happy, she will eventually get bored of her dating a doormat and look elsewhere for more excitement.

Good job and good luck buddy! ;)

[Rocksaurus]

7on you are AWESOME. I love you with all my heart. Hugs and kisses XOXOXOXOXOXO <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[jasylonian]

Damn, dude, are you a man or a puppy? Tap that ass! Then roll over and go to sleep.

18th, aren't you looking forward to boys? Aaaahhh, the wonders of peer pressure combined with blood flow.

Edit: I just read "I Am Charlotte Simmons" and now I just hate everybody.

[7on]

-

[revenuee]

yeah, we're going to wait a while of course. But we'll be cuddling in the meantime. That's what I meant about it.

Try to get a friends with benefits thing going for ya -- those are best, no commitment, no phone calls, -- you're free to do what you want

be smart, take the sex, screw the cuddling --- it's a waste of time

[7on]

-
as you can see, I cease to exist in this thread...

[MacFan26]

be smart, take the sex, screw the cuddling --- it's a waste of time
lol, are you serious?
These dating threads always take interesting turns.

[applemacdude]

lol, are you serious?
These dating threads always take interesting turns.


haha good advice

[revenuee]

lol, are you serious?
These dating threads always take interesting turns.

off-course i'm serious -- i just don't have the patience for a g/f anymore -- if i can get what i want without commitment (which has become easier and easier lately -- gotta love Naive first years) i'm taking that root ... sure it's not as fulfilling as when it happens with someone you care about/even love --- but you don't have to deal with the ******** either, and thats a huge plus

[iJon]

off-course i'm serious -- i just don't have the patience for a g/f anymore -- if i can get what i want without commitment (which has become easier and easier lately -- gotta love Naive first years) i'm taking that root ... sure it's not as fulfilling as when it happens with someone you care about/even love --- but you don't have to deal with the ******** either, and thats a huge plus
Drink to that my friend. Don't forget, no cuddling either.

jon

[revenuee]

Drink to that my friend. Don't forget, no cuddling either.

jon

some girls like to be held after, i'm willing to hold them until they fall asleep ... and then make my 4 am escape

or nothing like a girl coming over when you wake up, before an exam for a little play time, and the leaves right after so that you can get ready to go

i love this year ... :)

[iJon]

some girls like to be held after, i'm willing to hold them until they fall asleep ... and then make my 4 am escape

or nothing like a girl coming over when you wake up, before an exam for a little play time, and the leaves right after so that you can get ready to go

i love this year ... :)
I have to go back on the hunt. My current FB has withdrew from classes and moved back home. It's sad but there are more whorish fish in the sea, only a matter of looking.

jon

[revenuee]

I have to go back on the hunt. My current FB has withdrew from classes and moved back home. It's sad but there are more whorish fish in the sea, only a matter of looking.

jon

ya i have a female best friend who always told me that the reason i wasn't getting any was because i was lazy -- she was right

[iJon]

ya i have a female best friend who always told me that the reason i wasn't getting any was because i was lazy -- she was right
Getting any from her or women in general?

jon

[revenuee]

Getting any from her or women in general?

jon

women in general -- she's my best friend -neither of us could do that with each other -- just to weird, we know way to much about each other's past --- plus it's almost like siblings ... ewww ... haha

[topicolo]

Now now guys, this is 18th's dating problem thread. We don't need conversations about our male virility--she'll find it more fun discovering guys for herself :)

[virividox]

Sounds like the only guy who's gonna make you happy is Jesus.

You have trouble getting guys for one of two reasons: either you are hideously ugly, or you are a failure as a human being. Add to that the fact that you haven't posted any pictures of yourself, and I'm going with hideously ugly--which in and of itself is failing as a human being. Whatever, I'm sure this will prompt you to post some pictures of your hot friend or something.

For better or for worse, how you look really is an important factor, one which you have witheld from those from whom you seek advice. If you're not hot, the best way to get any guy of value is to be really flirtatious and sexual, which makes Jesus sad.

Whatever.

HAHHAHA made me crack up

as for you looking for love; dont look hard, just let it happen

[Macaddicttt]

as for you looking for love; dont look hard, just let it happen

I've been following this thread since the beginning, and this is the best advice I've seen so far. All through high school I had wanted a girlfriend and I made about two real efforts that didn't work out. Then my senior year when I wasn't trying at all things just worked out with one girl. I just say whatever happens happens. Don't try too hard.