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Hold

macrumors regular
Original poster
May 19, 2010
111
0
However close the relationship may be now, it's obvious OP wants it to be closer!! Hope it works!

I love her very much but she has a boyfriend. I don't want to give gift that will cause any problems even though we are quite close.
 

Daffodil

macrumors 6502
Jun 7, 2011
329
1
In a sunny state of mind
All girls love jewelry, handbags & shoes, it all depends on what is your current state w/ the person.

It's funny, because I used to think this was ridiculous, and that the perfect gift was a good book. Then I got my ears pierced... :D Don't know about buying shoes for someone else, that seems too hard to get right, but jewelry is (pretty much) always great.

Although give the OP's situation where she has a boyfriend, I'd lean more towards something like a good book/ good music since it doesn't carry that romantic connotation that will get you in trouble with her bf...
 

Carlanga

macrumors 604
Nov 5, 2009
7,132
1,409
It's funny, because I used to think this was ridiculous, and that the perfect gift was a good book. Then I got my ears pierced... :D Don't know about buying shoes for someone else, that seems too hard to get right, but jewelry is (pretty much) always great.

Although give the OP's situation where she has a boyfriend, I'd lean more towards something like a good book/ good music since it doesn't carry that romantic connotation that will get you in trouble with her bf...

Jewelry is always a good gift and comes in all types & sizes for any occasion/person. Usually you buy her shoes if she had already mentioned how much she loves X shoe. You gals can't never have enough of them, same w/ handbags, in this day & age you would have to be pretty out of fashion to buy a 'granny style' handbag!

My personal experience w/ giving handbags has been good, specially w/ friends that have BF's; I have never felt that handbags had a romantic connotation though? Shoes & big jewelry yes, small like some nice earrings w/out a necklace tend to me less romantic IMO, also some modern out on the town not for big parties bracelets too. I think a book or music is even harder to give this day & age; for a book you must really know what they are into and if they even like to read actual paper books, most woman like romantic novels or love stories so I think giving something like this could send a wrong msj to a BF and music is even harder, since iTunes and digital music came most people just get it at the moment it comes out.


However close the relationship may be now, it's obvious OP wants it to be closer!! Hope it works!
That is true, most guys don't want a friend that is also girl just for friendship. Woman tend to think he is just a friend, but most guys tend to think otherwise.
 

Hastings101

macrumors 68020
Jun 22, 2010
2,338
1,446
K
I sincerely don't know what that means:eek:

It's when a man takes his partner and then*********************************************************************************************************************************************************************** resulting in what looks similar to a necklace made of pearl! Classy huh?
 

iBlue

macrumors Core
Mar 17, 2005
19,180
15
London, England
Do you live near an amusement park? If so and if you both like this sort of thing, that might be a WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE sort of way to birthday fun.

Don't do suggestive gifts, like jewelry or gift cards because one implies something her boyfriend might not like and the gift card implies you don't care and aren't creative enough.

Find a way to spend some time with her in a way that you'll both find totally fun.
 

mscriv

macrumors 601
Aug 14, 2008
4,923
602
Dallas, Texas
I love her very much but she has a boyfriend. I don't want to give gift that will cause any problems even though we are quite close.

What's the nature of your relationship with the boyfriend? Are you guys cool? Is he comfortable with your relationship with her or is he threatened? You are wise in wanting not to cause problems.
 

Hold

macrumors regular
Original poster
May 19, 2010
111
0
What's the nature of your relationship with the boyfriend? Are you guys cool? Is he comfortable with your relationship with her or is he threatened? You are wise in wanting not to cause problems.

He doesn't know quite how close we are. I suspect he isn't pleased that she is friends with me.
 

mscriv

macrumors 601
Aug 14, 2008
4,923
602
Dallas, Texas
He doesn't know quite how close we are. I suspect he isn't pleased that she is friends with me.

Dangerous territory my friend. Are you simply waiting for an opportunity? Are you putting her in an unfair or uncomfortable position? I guess the bottom line is this, are your intentions pure in terms of friendship or is there more?
 

Daffodil

macrumors 6502
Jun 7, 2011
329
1
In a sunny state of mind
Dangerous territory my friend. Are you simply waiting for an opportunity? Are you putting her in an unfair or uncomfortable position? I guess the bottom line is this, are your intentions pure in terms of friendship or is there more?

Excellent point. If you intentionally harm her relationship with her boyfriend, it may come back to bite you in the long run.

I still stand by music or a good book being good options, because they're not as expensive (such as the purse/jewelry) and carry no romantic connotations. Besides, if they're as close as he claims, OP shouldn't have a hard time finding something he knows she'll enjoy. And contrary to Carlanga's opinion, we don't all have terrible taste in books and only read love stories or romance novels... :rolleyes:

I think a book or music is even harder to give this day & age; for a book you must really know what they are into and if they even like to read actual paper books, most woman like romantic novels or love stories so I think giving something like this could send a wrong msj to a BF and music is even harder, since iTunes and digital music came most people just get it at the moment it comes out.
 
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Reactions: Scepticalscribe

Scepticalscribe

macrumors Ivy Bridge
Jul 29, 2008
63,957
46,411
In a coffee shop.
............
My personal experience w/ giving handbags has been good, specially w/ friends that have BF's; I have never felt that handbags had a romantic connotation though? Shoes & big jewelry yes, small like some nice earrings w/out a necklace tend to me less romantic IMO, also some modern out on the town not for big parties bracelets too. I think a book or music is even harder to give this day & age; for a book you must really know what they are into and if they even like to read actual paper books, most woman like romantic novels or love stories so I think giving something like this could send a wrong msj to a BF and music is even harder, since iTunes and digital music came most people just get it at the moment it comes out.



That is true, most guys don't want a friend that is also girl just for friendship. Woman tend to think he is just a friend, but most guys tend to think otherwise.

Er, no, not necessarily. I'm with daffodil on this one; it is a sort of (slightly patronising) cliché that these are the only books that women like - in fact, it is why I dislike people buying books for me, because they will often get it wrong, (I'm an historian and love 'real' books, not the sort of twee nonsense that male friends seemed to think would work) and contrary to much of the advice on this thread, this is why I love book tokens as a present.

Likewise, jewellery is so personal; the OP would need to have an idea of what she would like in terms of jewellery before attempting to offer her a gift on those lines.

It's funny, because I used to think this was ridiculous, and that the perfect gift was a good book. Then I got my ears pierced... :D Don't know about buying shoes for someone else, that seems too hard to get right, but jewelry is (pretty much) always great.

Although give the OP's situation where she has a boyfriend, I'd lean more towards something like a good book/ good music since it doesn't carry that romantic connotation that will get you in trouble with her bf...

Agree completely with you; books and music - or tokens for same - never fail. If I know the musical tastes, or literary tastes, of the person in question that is what I'll get for them.

A panini press, good sandwiches for life after that.

Excellent point. If you intentionally harm her relationship with her boyfriend, it may come back to bite you in the long run.

I still stand by music or a good book being good options, because they're not as expensive (such as the purse/jewelry) and carry no romantic connotations. Besides, if they're as close as he claims, OP shouldn't have a hard time finding something he knows she'll enjoy. And contrary to Carlanga's opinion, we don't all have terrible taste in books and only read love stories or romance novels... :rolleyes:

again, agreed.

I hate gift cards.

Nothing says "I don't actually know you" like a gift card.

Actually, I disagree. If a gift token is for something that you know she may wish to buy, - but you don't know the details - then it is a good gift. It is way, way better than a really stupid gift, the sort of 'stupid' gift which takes the form of a book which screams 'while I know you are an intellectual in the big bad world, deep down I know you are just as fluffy as every other female on the planet and would just love this'......the problem is, I rarely do.
 

eric/

Guest
Sep 19, 2011
1,681
20
Ohio, United States
Actually, I disagree. If a gift token is for something that you know she may wish to buy, - but you don't know the details - then it is a good gift. It is way, way better than a really stupid gift, the sort of 'stupid' gift which takes the form of a book which screams 'while I know you are an intellectual in the big bad world, deep down I know you are just as fluffy as every other female on the planet and would just love this'......the problem is, I rarely do.

Gifts need not be "intellectual fluffy books or whatever. Perhaps people have purchased poor gifts for you because they don't know you well.

But if you actually know somebody, you'll be able to find a great gift, because you know the things they like and dislike. It's pretty simple. I suppose you can buy a gift card, but I wouldn't recommend it unless you're able to make it personal.

For example, my best female friend just had a baby. I purchased a gift card for her for Starbucks with a very personal, joking and mocking note.

If you go to Wal-Mart and buy somebody an iTunes gift card without knowing for a fact that they spend all day buying things on iTunes, you're doing it wrong. Or those Visa credit card gift card things? Disgusting.
 

twietee

macrumors 603
Jan 24, 2012
5,300
1,675
I'm going to give a gift token to my mother for Christmas. Think it's pretty useful and nice since she really wants one of these KitchenAids, but I have no clue about the color. Asking her would be...well, and buying one so that she eventually has to return it / keep it out of kindness isn't the route to go too.

But I'd agree that a gift token about 100$ or so isn't exactly an emotional highlight - although pretty useful. :D
 

Scepticalscribe

macrumors Ivy Bridge
Jul 29, 2008
63,957
46,411
In a coffee shop.
Sure not necessarily, but MOST LIKELY that is the book type MOST are reading ; If you don't believe me, just look at the top books on Amazon:
At the very top #1: 50 shades TRILOGY :rolleyes:

Why the screaming capital letters? Why the shrieking emphasis? Why is the possibility - when you write the words 'most likely' penned in howling shouting capitals?

Sigh. The topic of the trilogy in question has been discussed at length in another thread. At the risk of reiteration of a few points, I will ask again what is so egregiously awful about what is - most likely (I haven't read it) a trashy trilogy written by a woman (who has made a fortune), aimed at a female market, and - 'most likely' - bought by women in what clearly, are vast numbers? Trash has been written by men for men yet rarely attracts the sustained and virulent contempt which has been levelled at these books.

Whatever. While possibly indeed trash, do they pass as 'romantic novels' in the widely (and derided) understood sense of the word?

My point stands. Unless you know what sort of book a woman really likes, don't risk assuming that she likes a clichéd version of romantic novels 'because most women do'.
 

Mirela Ivanova

macrumors newbie
Nov 1, 2020
1
0
Why don't you get something not that expensive or common like a gift card for a shop? You can think extraordinary and more personal. For example - a handmade jewelry, if she likes that stuff (they cost from 10 to 20$), or a T-shirt with cool print (videogame, nature, inspiration) depending on what she likes. If she has a pet, you could write to somene who draws well and make her personalised gift - T-shirt, totebag, poster, phonecase, accessory pouch (@ivispap on Instagram does this). Just be more creative, she would appreaciate this not the money you spent on the gift ;)
 
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