Protecting Children Who Use iOS Devices

scaredpoet said:

What I've generally found is that anything you can do to lock down a device, can just as easily be undone by the person it's meant to lock down. If they don't have the expertise themselves, they will find someone who will.

That said, I have little faith in nanny software. Wiping and restoring is a pretty trivial thing, and so it won't be one bit hard to get rid of any monitoring/blocking software once it's discovered (and it will be).

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It's possible to use private browsing in Safari which deletes all user-visible history, and she can use other wifi hotspots to do what she wants. For that very reason, "nanny software" seems to be the only way to go in order to implement this kind of surveillance. The monitoring software can continuously send the information to a 3rd-party-server so that it won't be wiped out by the user, and alert the parents if anyone attempts to delete the monitoring software (more commonly known as "spyware") or by other means tamper with it.

Under such circumstances, I wouldn't let my kid have an iPod touch at all.

shinobi-81 said:

It's possible to use private browsing in Safari which deletes all user-visible history, and she can use other wifi hotspots to do what she wants. For that very reason, "nanny software" seems to be the only way to go in order to implement this kind of surveillance. The monitoring software can continuously send the information to a 3rd-party-server so that it won't be wiped out by the user, and alert the parents if anyone attempts to delete it.

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This is an iPod touch, which lacks an always-on internet connection by nature of traveling outside of Wifi boundaries. The alerts about removal won't go anywhere if the user goes to a place where there's no wifi, or a wifi hotspot that they don't join to, and then wipe the device clean. The data just stops, which could again be explained away as being out of wifi range, or just having the device turned off.

Under such circumstances, I wouldn't let my kid have an iPod touch at all.

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That's not what the OP wants, though. And I tend to agree. Actively shielding a child from being online only means they'll be irresponsible online later in life... like in college. And we've seen in the press how badly that can go.

Key monitoring on a device is pretty interesting but much easier on " Full OS" device that runs OS X or Windows.

The parental settings are pretty good on iOS, i'd stick with them and just look at histories etc once in a while on your child's device.

scaredpoet said:

That's not what the OP wants, though. And I tend to agree. Actively shielding a child from being online only means they'll be irresponsible online later in life... like in college. And we've seen in the press how badly that can go.

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This is not about shielding them from being online, but ensuring they can be monitored. Then the iPod touch is a poor solution. They can allow the child to get online using a real computer instead, which is easier to install spyware on.

There are also other ways to teach them responsibility than shielding them from being online. However, the reason given here for not confiscating the iPod touch, looks like some arbitrary excuse for the parent to avoid the hard battle of removing a non-surveillable Internet-device.

I was reading some posts about people locking down the internet preventing against child molesters.

Yeah, that would've been smart if this was like, 5 years ago. Child Molesters rarely spring and snatch your kid just from knowing them on the internet. (keyword: rarely). If your kid is going to get snatched up, it's going to be by somebody they know in person and trust.

Secondly, If you have to monitor your 13-year-old's computer activity, that's starting to enter the waters over overprotectiveness OR you can't just your own kid. Sometimes the latter makes sense and you may need to do all that, but there is NO way you can monitor EVERYTHING your child does. The better, smarter route to take is to confiscate the laptop or iPod, rather than track and snoop on every single thing they do.

My mom doesn't sniff my internet history or track every key I type. If I break a rule on the internet, she simply takes my laptop or iPhone or whatever away from me. If I have to use one of them during the period I have lost the privilege to use it, she has to be next to me.

Again, rather than become nosy obnoxious parents into your child's entire world, rather, explain the dangers of what she could be doing. Greatly Exaggerate them (it's what my mom did). Maybe enable *light* parental restrictions such as a designated web browser on the touch. Don't go koo-koo crazy full blast on the restrictions though, at least, not on a 13-year-old.

chrf097 said:

If your kid is going to get snatched up, it's going to be by somebody they know in person and trust.

Secondly, If you have to monitor your 13-year-old's computer activity, that's starting to enter the waters over overprotectiveness OR you can't just your own kid. Sometimes the latter makes sense and you may need to do all that, but there is NO way you can monitor EVERYTHING your child does. The better, smarter route to take is to confiscate the laptop or iPod, rather than track and snoop on every single thing they do.

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It's not OP's kid even, but his girlfriend's kid. He is going to become a step-father. I hope that also the mother of that 13 y.o. girl is aware of what may happen if she's not careful.

ckurt25 said:

Hi All!

I'm looking for input / suggestions for software / apps that will help monitor activity on an iPod Touch. Long story short, my girlfriend found out that her 13 year old daughter was visiting an online dating site and posing as a 24 yr old. Ideally we could find something that can monitor all activity, texts, emails, pictures & video taken, web surfing (even a keystroke logger) so that we can make sure she isn't going to get herself into too much trouble.

We will have a frank and honest discussion with her regarding how dangerous those type of activities can be but we don't want to just take away the iPod Touch or it may push her to find another outlet for her curiosity. We wouldn't want to tell her we're monitoring her activity either. Just tell her that we opened up Safari and saw this and have concerns and give her the Touch back to her and encourage her to be responsible with it.

I saw a product called iKeyMonitor that may do the trick but it requires a jailbroken device. This is doable but not ideal. Some of the apps I've seen in the App Store only replace Safari and can only block / monitor web traffic. Email, Texting from the messaging app or TextNow or Facebook or anything like that isn't monitored so it wouldn't come close to painting a full picture of what she's doing.

I would greatly appreciate any suggestions you have.

Thanks!
Chris

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Honestly return the ipod or sell it and get a galaxy player. Thats the only way your gonna be able to any of these things without having to worry about the negatives of jailbreaking.

Why would you give your kid an iOS deivce if you don't trust them?

PatrickW98 said:

Why would you give your kid an iOS deivce if you don't trust them?

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OP's gf gave her daughter the iPod touch some time ago, it seems. And now the stepfather (OP) wants to install spyware on the device of the 13 y.o. girl to keep her from going to dating websites. Taking the iOS device away seems out of question though, since the kid probably will raise hell over that. Another reason mentioned is that she will explore her curiosity somewhere else then, i.e. "find another outlet" for it. What a thoughtful stepfather.

The situation looks familiar with a twist.

Hey Chris (your name, TS), is your last name by any chance "Hansen"? If so, I'm sure you know how to make the best of this

chrf097 said:

I was reading some posts about people locking down the internet preventing against child molesters.

Yeah, that would've been smart if this was like, 5 years ago. Child Molesters rarely spring and snatch your kid just from knowing them on the internet. (keyword: rarely). If your kid is going to get snatched up, it's going to be by somebody they know in person and trust.

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You should be aware the pedophiles can cause damage at a distance via the internet. One current tactic is to get kids to post pictures of themselves, and the pedophiles don't care what psychological damage they inflict when they coerce or trick kids into doing this. Seriously, you must not underestimate just how callously evil these people can be.

VulchR said:

You should be aware the pedophiles can cause damage at a distance via the internet. One current tactic is to get kids to post pictures of themselves, and the pedophiles don't care what psychological damage they inflict when they coerce or trick kids into doing this. Seriously, you must not underestimate just how callously evil these people can be.

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Every time we see these types of threads, the parenting advice from kids and non-parents abounds.

Watch their web habits like a hawk until they leave the house. A 19 year old that has been over-sheltered is still a lot more capable of protecting themselves than a "worldly" 13 year old.

To the original OP another option is to use router based filtering/monitoring. You can block a lot of sites or at least monitor traffic at the router.

ckurt25 said:

We've actually be doing a combination of things. We've locked down the ability to install new apps, deleted questionable ones, disabled safari and installed a browser that has a blacklist and emails summaries of surfing. We did tell her we knew what she was doing on the iPod and would "watch" her in the future. We didn't flat out say there is monitoring software on the iPod. We also sat her down and discussed the dangers of her behavior further. So far it seems to be working.

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That seems like a very sound strategy. There are indeed kid-safe browsers for iOS, i had forgotten that.

robanga said:

Every time we see these types of threads, the parenting advice from kids and non-parents abounds.

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How can you tell in an online forum if someone is a non-parent or not?

ckurt25 said:

We've actually be doing a combination of things. We've locked down the ability to install new apps, deleted questionable ones, disabled safari and installed a browser that has a blacklist and emails summaries of surfing. We did tell her we knew what she was doing on the iPod and would "watch" her in the future. We didn't flat out say there is monitoring software on the iPod. We also sat her down and discussed the dangers of her behavior further. So far it seems to be working.

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And by "working" you mean she is now avoiding using the iPod for these purposes and instead is using other means to the same end.


I'm afraid you have it all wrong, here. (Excepting that last step.)

shinobi-81 said:

How can you tell in an online forum if someone is a non-parent or not?

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It some instances its obvious because there are quotes like " my mom and dad would never ... "

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CyBeRino said:

And by "working" you mean she is now avoiding using the iPod for these purposes and instead is using other means to the same end.


I'm afraid you have it all wrong, here. (Excepting that last step.)

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I agree the last step is the best discussion. Do you really think you can't not monitor kids 100% of the time?, because i can assure you at least as it comes to technology you can get pretty close to 100% of the way there all the way up to adulthood

Honestly, you're being a little bit irrational. Just have a talk with her, there's no reason to check everything she does, that's just you being snoopy for no reason. I've had a computer since I was 7 and a phone since I was 10, and my parents have never read my texts or checked my browsing history. Learn to trust your daughter, don't invade her privacy.

EDIT: Wow... After reading these parents, I'm so happy that my parents aren't crazy, privacy-invading crazies.

Lightey said:

Wow... After reading these parents, I'm so happy that my parents aren't crazy, privacy-invading crazies.

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Depriving people of their privacy is something not only parents to do their children. Governments do the same to adult citizens, like in the Patriot Act.

shinobi-81 said:

Depriving people of their privacy is something not only parents to do their children. Governments do the same to adult citizens, like in the Patriot Act.

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Ummm... ok. But what's your point? This discussion IS about parents snooping on their children, right?

lordofthereef said:

Ummm... ok. But what's your point? This discussion IS about parents snooping on their children, right?

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If governments can snoop on its adult citizens, why can't parents snoop on their children? Privacy is obviously not a constitutional right in the United States, but perhaps it should be.

shinobi-81 said:

If governments can snoop on its adult citizens, why can't parents snoop on their children? Privacy is obviously not a constitutional right in the United States, but perhaps it should be.

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Yeah I agree on the privacy for adults. Rights are a sliding scale and necessarily have to be because of the brain and emotional development of the population in question in this thread.

Lightey said:

... Learn to trust your daughter, don't invade her privacy.

EDIT: Wow... After reading these parents, I'm so happy that my parents aren't crazy, privacy-invading crazies.

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I am sure that most parents here do trust their kids. The problem is that they don't trust all of the adults a child might come into contact with on the internet. Concerned parents are far less crazy and far less dangerous than pedophiles. Also, you are assuming that parents are restricting access to the internet without their children's knowledge or consent. In my family we had a series of ugly incidents and that now my kids want me to help them be secure when they are online. There is nothing wrong with that. There is something wrong with allowing vulnerable kids to come into contact with people who intend to harm them.

EDIT: As for snooping on adults, I worry both the US and the UK are headed in a very dangerous direction. Here in the UK the Met are now going to download the contents of mobile phones of the people that they arrest, without regard to whether the phone constitutes material evidence of the crime. To me that just fascist, but off-topic so I'll stop ranting.