If you play around at store.apple.com, you'll find that the locked and factory unlocked phones indeed have different part numbers.
In the U.S. Apple Store Online, I added an on-contract (thus locked) 16GB black iPhone 4S on AT&T and in the web address it reveals the part number: MC918LL/A.
I did the same thing with a factory unlocked 16GB black iPhone 4S for AT&T and the web address has the part number listed as: MD234LL/A.
If I'm not mistaken, the part number is actually one of the few pieces of text printed on the back plate of the iPhone.
If you're meeting the seller face-to-face, do the following (assuming you're in the U.S.):
• Bring a non-AT&T micro-SIM card and put it in the phone. If it says "No Service" the whole time, that should mean it's locked. If it says "Searching" or actively shows the network name (such as "T-Mobile") then it's unlocked. Even a deactivated and/or foreign micro-SIM will work—it won't get signal but it will search instead of just saying there is no service.
• Look at the part number on the back of the iPhone per my instructions above.
• Look up the IMEI in Settings --> General --> About and plug it into
http://www.dev.mk.
I presume you already met with the seller. How'd it go?