Hi all
I was looking some advice cos I really jsut don't know what to do. I have two really good friends with two similar problems. I'll just go through one friend's situation and maybe you guys can offer me some advice .. if anything though - I need to write it down .. apologies for the length.
Friend A
Is an important ex of mine - first serious boyfriend but I've moved on from all that - ... but I still care about him so much! Another factor is - he's my best friend's brother .. and I'm his parents "adopted child" as they would call me lol ...
So his situation: He used to be really smart, done well at school and was a brilliant guy ... but the last 5 years or so - he got into smoking weed. That's on top of the alcohol he drinks. He's got this gf who's a bit of a reputation for being a druggie/alcoholic mess (as sad as it is to say) ... this last year he's developed a strong friendship with another guy who's an alcoholic and a heavy drug user .. he's not at all there in the head.. Well my friend (A) has recently been started drinking much much (dangerous amounts) more and has been getting into other drugs.. this last 2 weeks he's been bunking off work (a good job at that - in an aeroplane engineering company or something like that) ... unpaid sick leave at that ... but he's been meeting up with the new guy and drinking every single day .....
The new guy has been seeing my best friend (so Friend A's brother) on and off the last month or so and if my friend knew, he'd go absolute crazy! But because this guy has been seeing my best friend, he's been giving us an insight into Friend A - .. he's mentioned how he's depressed, been doing different drugs and things ..
Another point is that his uncle died last year - he committed suicide - and it's coming up to the anniversary of that!
I'm really really worried about him. I care alot about him ... but not in that way anymore .... however he came on to me a few weeks ago after a drunked/drug fuelled evening - obviously I didn't go there but he texted me for a bit afterwards and was like saying he still felt a connection with us - now I'm not looking for any of that again - but I feel he might trust me a bit more .. so I'm wondering what the hell I can do to help him or if there is anything I can do to help him...
I really want to help him but he's so easily led by other people .. though he thinks he's a big man, running the show..but in actual fact, looking out on it - he's under the thumb from his gf and obsessed with his friendship with this new guy (I should mentioned, he's not really a new guy - we've all known him as the local druggie for the last number of years, but I say new guy cos he's recently started hanging out with him) ...
I'm good friends with his mum too, and I could talk to her easily enough - but she would kick him out of the house if she knew the half of it - but at the same time he's the apple of her eye , though she has recently confronted him about the alcohol drinking .. but he just tells her she's being stupid..
He needs serious help - after what happened to his uncle, and with signs of depression ... I really worry I'm going to get a phone call someday from his sister to tell me he's been killed or has died from an OD or something!
With regards to the people who could help him - his sister is too scared to do anything..keeps saying she would love to tell her dad etc but she wouldn't... his gf is just as messed up and doesn't even care about him ..I know she's cheated on him with another woman in the past .. his druggie friend - that's an obvious no no ... his younger brother - nope!
I just don't see anyone else who could realistically help him or would step in and try to do something...
I think if I don't do something, and something bad did happen to him - I'd regret it .. It would be with me all my life ... I feel the time has come to do something .. I just really don't know what to do and it hurts me seeing him like this and his sister and family worrying about him all the time ...
Apologies for the length - and if anyone has made it through to the very end - thank you for reading and I hope someone can offer me some advice
I was looking some advice cos I really jsut don't know what to do. I have two really good friends with two similar problems. I'll just go through one friend's situation and maybe you guys can offer me some advice .. if anything though - I need to write it down .. apologies for the length.
Friend A
Is an important ex of mine - first serious boyfriend but I've moved on from all that - ... but I still care about him so much! Another factor is - he's my best friend's brother .. and I'm his parents "adopted child" as they would call me lol ...
So his situation: He used to be really smart, done well at school and was a brilliant guy ... but the last 5 years or so - he got into smoking weed. That's on top of the alcohol he drinks. He's got this gf who's a bit of a reputation for being a druggie/alcoholic mess (as sad as it is to say) ... this last year he's developed a strong friendship with another guy who's an alcoholic and a heavy drug user .. he's not at all there in the head.. Well my friend (A) has recently been started drinking much much (dangerous amounts) more and has been getting into other drugs.. this last 2 weeks he's been bunking off work (a good job at that - in an aeroplane engineering company or something like that) ... unpaid sick leave at that ... but he's been meeting up with the new guy and drinking every single day .....
The new guy has been seeing my best friend (so Friend A's brother) on and off the last month or so and if my friend knew, he'd go absolute crazy! But because this guy has been seeing my best friend, he's been giving us an insight into Friend A - .. he's mentioned how he's depressed, been doing different drugs and things ..
Another point is that his uncle died last year - he committed suicide - and it's coming up to the anniversary of that!
I'm really really worried about him. I care alot about him ... but not in that way anymore .... however he came on to me a few weeks ago after a drunked/drug fuelled evening - obviously I didn't go there but he texted me for a bit afterwards and was like saying he still felt a connection with us - now I'm not looking for any of that again - but I feel he might trust me a bit more .. so I'm wondering what the hell I can do to help him or if there is anything I can do to help him...
I really want to help him but he's so easily led by other people .. though he thinks he's a big man, running the show..but in actual fact, looking out on it - he's under the thumb from his gf and obsessed with his friendship with this new guy (I should mentioned, he's not really a new guy - we've all known him as the local druggie for the last number of years, but I say new guy cos he's recently started hanging out with him) ...
I'm good friends with his mum too, and I could talk to her easily enough - but she would kick him out of the house if she knew the half of it - but at the same time he's the apple of her eye , though she has recently confronted him about the alcohol drinking .. but he just tells her she's being stupid..
He needs serious help - after what happened to his uncle, and with signs of depression ... I really worry I'm going to get a phone call someday from his sister to tell me he's been killed or has died from an OD or something!
With regards to the people who could help him - his sister is too scared to do anything..keeps saying she would love to tell her dad etc but she wouldn't... his gf is just as messed up and doesn't even care about him ..I know she's cheated on him with another woman in the past .. his druggie friend - that's an obvious no no ... his younger brother - nope!
I just don't see anyone else who could realistically help him or would step in and try to do something...
I think if I don't do something, and something bad did happen to him - I'd regret it .. It would be with me all my life ... I feel the time has come to do something .. I just really don't know what to do and it hurts me seeing him like this and his sister and family worrying about him all the time ...
Apologies for the length - and if anyone has made it through to the very end - thank you for reading and I hope someone can offer me some advice