Going with the easy question first. If you decide to go with the D3200, that is an excellent price for the 55-200 lens and I would recommend it.
As for the D3100 versus the D3200, I looked at a DP Review side-by-side comparison and 2 things jumped out at me. The megapixel difference and the video differences. There are some other differences as well. I would probably lean towards the D3200, especially if you plan on using it for more than a couple of years. Then again, I'm still using a Nikon D200 that is over 7 years old so I do get good use out of my camera gear.
Yes, I've noticed the big jump in pixels and video between the two. I'm nervous about buying something and then quickly outgrowing it. I guess it's because I like value for money! Better to spend extra now, but then not have to upgrade as quickly maybe?
If I go with the D3200 the extra Lens seems like a no brainer to me for that price.