You are correct again, I don't understand your meaning because you aren't communicating it well and you are contradicting your own points. You state that it's all Apple's engineers job to understand "my needs", but that they "did it without listening to my needs" in products like the iPhone or iPad.
What you don't seem to understand is that any product starts with a set of requirements that are defined based on market research into what the customer will want, within the limits of technology that exists or will exist. You imply Apple just defines those requirements because they magically "know best" without listening to the customer, but you've got it completely reversed, they define the requirements based on exhaustive research and systematic processes to define what features are most important to the people they intend to sell the product to. They did this with the original iPhone, iPad and every other product.....and while great products, as technology improves and consumer preferences change, the system engineering side of keeping up with the consumer remains one of the most important aspects. Preferences change, competitive companies typically identify these trends first either through trial and error or research, and others follow suit.
Dell is a great example of the link between the technology and customer needs with the original Dell Streak. They saw the desire for large screen devices, but the technology wasn't there yet and compromises were made in screen resolution, physical size of the device, etc.
The galaxy note 3 is a perfect example that Apple is keenly aware of the shift to larger phones. It's no coincidence that a single day after the announcement of the Note 3 the rumors were all back to the fact that larger iPhones are being tested. There is no question of "if" Apple will come out with a larger phone, but when...and the reason for that is people are spending their hard earned money on larger phones such as the Note instead of the iPhone.
For the record, I am a mechanical design engineer, and have conducted several QFD trade studies in my career to better understand customer requirements and refine a design appropriately. So yes, maybe I do have a clue about design and functionality.