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So my sister in law wants me to help her buy a gun....

glocke12

glocke12

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Jan 7, 2008
999
7
for my brother as "christmas present".

Heres the thing though, they are in the midst of going through a divorce (he cheated multiple times, went to washy-washies, etc), and are legally separated. He has moved out, but comes home for a few days at a time when his kids have birthdays or there are holidays.

According to him, he wanted to leave her 15 years ago, but didnt because of the kids and for the fact that he was afraid she would hurt herself.

Ive had some conversations with her recently, and she is in a highly emotional, mentally traumaztized state, and is on some type of medicine (xanax and some anti-depressants). For all I know she could not have any intentions other than to have this be a memento for someone who is walking out on her life, but given everything that she is going through I dont think its a wise purchase

Now, as a proud gun owner (multiple dozens :) :) :) )even though I am usually all for people buying guns, I am certainly NOT going to help someone I suspect is not mentally stable to buy a gun, especially as a "christmas present" for someone who cheated on her (click-clack, BANG, Merry Christmas you cheating M-f'er).

Question is, do I tell my brother, or mention it to her friends or her family what she asked me to do?
 
jessica. said:
No, you man the f up and tell her you're not helping her.
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uh, Ive already " man'd the f up" and told her Im not going to help her buy a gun, and I think I made it clear in my first post (if you bothered to read it) Im not going to help her.

The question is, do I alert my brother, or at least her friends and family (who all know she is not stable right now) what she asked me to do.
 
I think you take the story to a cable channel. I smell reality TV here.

Then I'd alert others if she's unstable, as you call it.
 
glocke12 said:
Question is, do I tell my brother, or mention it to her friends or her family what she asked me to do?
Click to expand...


Of course, don't help her buy a gun. She seems suicidal or have a good motive for murder... thats a given.

Second, I would tell her husband. If you don't help her, she might find another person who will. He has to deal with this gal for kids sake and he has a right to know. His life might be in danger.

My question is this, if they are going to go through with this divorce, why on earth would she buy him a gift, let alone a gun?
 
KnightWRX said:
No, of course you don't. You suspect she's going to shoot him while he least suspect it, if you tell on her, that'll ruin the surprise.
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yes you should tell your brother ... he already knows why she wants to shoot him ... at least if he knows she has a gun ... he can now fear for his life when he goes for his washy-washies.

His knowing it is coming ... He will have a better chance to survive when she shoots him. :cool:
 
Apple OC said:
yes you should tell your brother ... he already knows why she wants to shoot him ... at least if he knows she has a gun ... he can now fear for his life when he goes for his washy-washies.

His knowing it is coming ... He will have a better chance to survive when she shoots him. :cool:
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Clearly. Depending on what state she is in she can get a gun anyway. And, if she is in a state where it is tough to get a gun without "help" you'd be going to jail for that.
 
If you do tell your brother, and the motive for the gift was in fact innocent you may be breaking up a perfectly happy marriage - can you live with that?

If you don't tell your brother, and he gets shot because he didn't take any precautions, could you live with that?

I think the answer is pretty obvious....

Bear in mind that in King County Washington, in 50% of the cases where someone is shot it's during a domestic dispute. And in 25% of time, it's another family member (like a brother-in-law) who gets shot.
 
You should tell your brother and you should tell her relatives. Just because you don't get her a gun doesn't mean that she doesn't get one by other means. She could be planing to shoot your brother or she could be planing to shoot herself & the kids. The fact she tells this to you could be a clue she is asking for help... it doesn't sound good.
 
snberk103 said:
If you do tell your brother, and the motive for the gift was in fact innocent you may be breaking up a perfectly happy marriage - can you live with that?
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They are getting divorced so I don't think it is a perfectly happy marriage.

I echo the sentiment here, don't help her and I would at least alert your brother.
 
xlii said:
You should tell your brother and you should tell her relatives. Just because you don't get her a gun doesn't mean that she doesn't get one by other means. She could be planing to shoot your brother or she could be planing to shoot herself & the kids. The fact she tells this to you could be a clue she is asking for help... it doesn't sound good.
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Yeah, I thought about all of that, trust me.

First, the reason I asked this question here, was because I was looking for impartial opinions. I had planned on trying to contact either a family member of hers, or one of her friends first and let them know. Problem is she has really doesnt have any family she is close enough to that could be of any help, and she doesnt really have any friends, the ones that she does have are my really more of my brothers friends than hers.

I was also hesitant to contact my brother about this for a very good reason. He has shown some signs of being rather irrational and bad tempered (he has a very dark side that i have only recently become aware of), and I was afraid of what he may do in retaliation.

In the end I did end up contacting him and explained the situation to him, surprisingly he does not see any problem with it. Apparently there are already guns in the house she has access to (I had thought they were removed), and in his words:

"If she wanted to hurt herself or someone else all she has to do is try to prepare an ***** mea and get people to eat itl"

Im still not entirely comfortable with the whole situation, but there really is nothing preventing her from just going out to get a gun without me being there, so I am tempted to offer to go with her to help her pick one out, with the condition that I hold onto it at my house until Christmas.


As for being divorced/separated and still doing christmas and gift exchanges I cant really figure it out. Its a very weird divorce..The only thing I can think of is that they are trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy for the kids, but one is 21, in college and effectively has moved out, the other is 18 and, a senior this year in high school,is moving out for college as soon as he graduates, and is accepting of the divorce.
 
Umm. You’re kidding right? Your husband's psychopathic wife tells you she's interested in buying a gun "as a present" for your bother and you question whether you should tell him?

Are you thinking on hooking up with her after she shoots him?

How would you explain that to the cops..... "Yes officer, my brother was having a lot of affairs and they were going through a messy divorce.... She was in a complete mess, in tears all the time..... I took her out to the local gun shop to help her buy a gun, I even helped her buy the bullets"


Sounds like accessory to murder to me.
 
I would suggest this be the only gun you help her buy:

nerf+gun.jpg
 
wackymacky said:
Umm. You’re kidding right? Your husband's psychopathic wife tells you she's interested in buying a gun "as a present" for your bother and you question whether you should tell him?

Are you thinking on hooking up with her after she shoots him?

How would you explain that to the cops..... "Yes officer, my brother was having a lot of affairs and they were going through a messy divorce.... She was in a complete mess, in tears all the time..... I took her out to the local gun shop to help her buy a gun, I even helped her buy the bullets"


Sounds like accessory to murder to me.
Click to expand...

do people not read posts? Look at # 18 where I have addressed this.
 
I think you made a good choice not to help her. I mean really, when in doubt... you definitely made the responsible choice.

As for telling your brother - absolutely. Why not? Don't be overly alarming about it (after all you don't know anything, just decided to be cautious). Just give him the facts, and let him know what happened. He will know better than you what it means (probably nothing) and will be able to make a better choice of what to do at that point. The way I see it, the more information the merrier. If there's reason for concern, he'll be the one who would know.

Sorry about all of the crazy off-topic posts here. If only people's reading skills were up to par with their typing skills.
 
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