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whats the difference between the two and how can I determine which has been done to myphone?

hacked is a more generic term that could mean a number of things, usually when someone "hacks" a phone they "jailbreak" it.

jailbreaking is the process of obtaining access to the phones file structure in order to install third party applications and make modifications to individual files.

unlocking allows the phone to be used on a GSM carrier besides AT&T.
without unlocking your phone, you need to activate the phone through AT&T
 
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