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grrrr......I just wigged out on a stupid incosiderate "friend"

glocke12

glocke12

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Jan 7, 2008
999
7
Sorry, need to vent....
Ive got a "buddy" who I dont hear from for weeks at a time, doesnt return calls when called, etc.

Than at SEVEN A.M. on a SUNDAY morning he shows up unannounced at the front door, ringing the bell, expecting coffee, breakfast, etc., than acts surprised when I tell him to pretty much go away and not pull that cr@p again.

I play in bands, so usually dont get home until 2-3 a.m., and I also have my widowed, elderly mother staying with me since she doesnt have anyplace else to go, and she enjoys sleeping until about nine or ten a.m. This idiot knows all that, and than comes and rings the bell at seven a.m. and doesnt understand why I sent him away.....

For 10+ Ive been asking this guy to call before coming over, not to show up unannounced in the middle of the night, etc.


grrr.....
 
Can we get back the OP's point please?

OP: you did the right thing.
 
Right, back to the point...

Have you seen "Things we lost in the fire"?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0469623/

We all have friends who are bad at keeping in contact/forget seemingly essential information.
Did he turn up to be disruptive on purpose or do you think he was looking for a friendly face at an inconvenient time for you?

It's up to you to decide whether or not your past friendship with this person is enough for you to want to continue with it in the future.

Personally I've been both of those people.
My friends stuck by me, the rest became people I used to know.
 
"Did he turn up to be disruptive on purpose or do you think he was looking for a friendly face at an inconvenient time for you?"


Im pretty certain he was trying to be disruptive....He knows my schedule, and my current living situation.

The one thing I did not mention is that 1 minute before he rang my bell the dude calls me on my cell phone and is chit-chatting via cell phone with me while he is on my front step, than while on the phone decides to ring the bell.....Since he was on the phone with me while outside my front door, all he had to do was tell me he was out there and the outcome would have been much different.

I dunno about other people, but to me that kind of behavior just really doesnt make any sense.
 
glocke12 said:
"Did he turn up to be disruptive on purpose or do you think he was looking for a friendly face at an inconvenient time for you?"


Im pretty certain he was trying to be disruptive....He knows my schedule, and my current living situation.

The one thing I did not mention is that 1 minute before he rang my bell the dude calls me on my cell phone and is chit-chatting via cell phone with me while he is on my front step, than while on the phone decides to ring the bell.....Since he was on the phone with me while outside my front door, all he had to do was tell me he was out there and the outcome would have been much different.

I dunno about other people, but to me that kind of behavior just really doesnt make any sense.
Click to expand...

Eh? He was talking to you on the phone to make sure you were awake and then rings the doorbell when he knew you were. Sounds reasonable to me.

Ringing the doorbell is not a crime you know and I doubt he even considered it.
 
"Eh? He was talking to you on the phone to make sure you were awake and then rings the doorbell when he knew you were. Sounds reasonable to me. Ringing the doorbell is not a crime you know and I doubt he even considered it."

Did you not read my original post at all?
Im a musician, so I dont get in until 3 a.m. at the earliest (if Im lucky), and I also have my eldery mother staying with me who likes to sleep until nine or so. This guy knows all of this.
He was on the phone with me, could more than likely see me also since I was sitting about 5 feet from the front door which has a window in it, and still rang the bell while he was on the phone with me. As I said, all he had to do was say he was out there. There was no point in ringing the bell.


In any case, I dont know about you, but I always thought there was like some unwritten rule amongst people that you shouldnt go ringing someones doorbell at 7:00 a.m. on a sunday, especially when you know the guys doesnt get home until very, very late.
 
glocke12 said:
In any case, I dont know about you, but I always thought there was like some unwritten rule amongst people that you shouldnt go ringing someones doorbell at 7:00 a.m. on a sunday, especially when you know the guys doesnt get home until very, very late.
Click to expand...

Not really. If you want to talk to someone face to face you ring the doorbell. Okay he could of said on the phone he was outside but really it would make little difference if he said that or rang the doorbell.

I don't understand why you are annoyed enough about this to post on a forum? Did your Mum even wake up? If not what is the problem?
 
Cromulent said:
Not really. If you want to talk to someone face to face you ring the doorbell. Okay he could of said on the phone he was outside but really it would make little difference if he said that or rang the doorbell.
Click to expand...


Im just a little different I guess, or its an age thing. Im 40, have alot of responsibilty, so really am not that interested in people showing up unannounced at any time of the day or night. When I was in my twenties I had more of an "anything goes, anytime" mentality, but not now.

Personally, I wouldnt think of ringing ANYONES doorbell for any reason, or disturbing anyone so early on a sunday. Especially if I knew the guy worked until three or four a.m. Furthermore, I wouldnt keep the guy on the phone a few minutes while I was standing outside his house and THAN ring the bell.


"I don't understand why you are annoyed enough about this to post on a forum? Did your Mum even wake up? If not what is the problem?"

yes, it did wake her up. the lady is 75 years old with all kinds of ailments and needs rest.....not only that but it woke up my girlfriends 1 year old baby. The point is, if your friends with someone, and you know their schedule/living situation is such that it is not appropriate to come at a certain time, than you should respect that.

Anyway, like I said I just needed to vent.
 
Cromulent said:
I don't understand why you are annoyed enough about this to post on a forum? Did your Mum even wake up? If not what is the problem?
Click to expand...

There must be a nagging little percentage of him that is unsure.

He's looking for support.

He has it with me. This guy is a (family board word) penis.

:apple:
 
"You have my support, so why would you think I meant you in my last sentence??"

sorry, didnt read the post carefully enough.
 
glocke,

i'd call the guy up later in the day and ask what the bleep he was thinking?

was he stoned or something? that seems really odd. inconsiderate doesn't even describe it. it's way offside in my opinion.

if he doesn't get it when you call and explain why it's not right, then call him back some inconvenient time and go from there :)

just to show him how wrong it is.
 
He is your friend and I assume from your post that this type of behavior of his is known and to be expected from him. Some people are inconsiderate or just do not think of the outcomes of their actions.

Now your friend is who he is and likely will not change. So you must decide if you can accept his behavior or if it is time to end your friendship.

Furthermore I consider it unacceptable to expect anyone to change. Either you embrace their faults or reject them entirely.
 
I hate people like that. Thankfully I've distanced myself from that lot.
I smashed my back in once and had to take a few months off biking, skating etc. One guy comes round to my house, goes into the garage to get my bike out and expects me to go for a ride whilst I can't stand up straight. I tell him I physically can't and he throws some kind of hissy fit about how I ruined his day.

He avoided me for ages and then moved down to Cornwall or somewhere. Dreading the day he finds me on Facebook.

Just push them away, tell him to GTFU. As many times as need be.
 
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