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Yay, that took too long. (Kicked Out)

Hummer

Hummer

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Feb 3, 2006
1,012
0
Queens, New York NY-5
Well I've finally been kicked out. I've been waiting for this moment a long time and I've been gaging my options with who I could stay with for a while till I make enough to live on my own. I'm currently moving out to Hempstead with a friend and I don't really know what to make of it.

If anyone wants a back story read my "Oh **** I don't have a car" thread. I don't know what its really called. Anyways this is pretty much what I wanted to happen and how I wanted it to happen as its not too abrupt.

How do I pack all of this ****. I don't want to ship it when I'm pretty low on funds.
 
Hummer said:
Well I've finally been kicked out. I've been waiting for this moment a long time and I've been gaging my options with who I could stay with for a while till I make enough to live on my own. I'm currently moving out to Hempstead with a friend and I don't really know what to make of it.

If anyone wants a back story read my "Oh **** I don't have a car" thread. I don't know what its really called. Anyways this is pretty much what I wanted to happen and how I wanted it to happen as its not too abrupt.

How do I pack all of this ****. I don't want to ship it when I'm pretty low on funds.
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You should probably sell your computer, for starters.
 
Plymouthbreezer said:
You should probably sell your computer, for starters.
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About that, I'm still in school despite what my family thinks about me totally flunking out and not getting a diploma. So I need my laptop. And I still work 2 jobs so money isn't much of an issue. It's just the whole thing of I've never lived on my own before. And I don't know how I'll possibly get all of my wardrobe to where I'm living now.
 
You wanted to get kicked out of your house because your parents won't help you get insurance for the car that you can't afford and you have shown you aren't mature enough to own?

Sorry, but I hope you look back at this period of your life later and realize how ridiculous you acted.
 
it5five said:
You wanted to get kicked out of your house because your parents won't help you get insurance for the car that you can't afford and you have shown you aren't mature enough to own?

Sorry, but I hope you look back at this period of your life later and realize how ridiculous you acted.
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Pretty much.

But yea I just wanted some words of advice for living on my own. Has anyone here experienced a job transfer? How easy is it?
 
Am I missing something? Why did you need to be kicked out, could you not have left under your own steam?

I think that budgeting may be your biggest problem. You will suddenly have a lot more to pay for (gas, electricity, insurance etc.) so make sure that you have it all set out at the beginning of the month and don't be tempted to spend more than you can afford. Remember to have some contingency in your budget as well for things that crop up out of nowhere.
 
richardjames said:
Am I missing something? Why did you need to be kicked out, could you not have left under your own steam?

I think that budgeting may be your biggest problem. You will suddenly have a lot more to pay for (gas, electricity, insurance etc.) so make sure that you have it all set out at the beginning of the month and don't be tempted to spend more than you can afford. Remember to have some contingency in your budget as well for things that crop up out of nowhere.
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Well my mother told me that if I left under my own steam they'd go and find me and bring me back. (trying to give me run arounds because my father was the one to kick me out) So because they kicked me out when my mother sends the cops looking for me I'll just say I was kicked out.

And that's a great idea, but as of now I wouldn't need to do that for utilities because where I'm crashing utilities are paid for. I could apply that concept to necessities as I often buy things I need weekly. If I could have a set cost and list of things I need that could help on expenses greatly.
 
Well, WalMart and some of the low income thrift stores should help you get some of the things you need at low prices.

WalMart is evil, but at times they can help stretch dollars when you need to stretch them.
 
Yeah, finally found it on my third go-around. :D

Frankly I don't know what to think about this. Perhaps the parents are unreasonable. First they discourage/ignore the OP's attempts at independence, then they kick him out. Contradictory at best, but we have only a sketchy view of what happened.

OTOH I can't ignore the feeling from the OP's posts that his ideas of how the world works are based in fantasy at least as much as reality. He keeps asking questions about how to get things that he can't have. He also says things like everybody tells me... and then ignores what everybody is telling him.

I get the distinct feeling that one of two things is gonna happen here: he's either gonna come home with his tail tucked between his legs, begging to be let in, or he's gonna morph into one of those street hustlers who get what they want by conning people.

Sorry, I'm not trying to slam the OP, but I know one of those hustlers. He's always going on about how he left home early, how he's a self-made man, etc., and he's nothing but a con man who's always trying to see what he can get out of somebody else for free, and some people fall for his BS. You don't wanna be that guy.

Maybe I'm wrong and Hummer is being mistreated by his parents and others. It's admirable that he tried to hold down jobs and school. But I have a feeling if we heard his parents' side it'd put a whole different spin on this.
 
Thomas Veil said:
Yeah, finally found it on my third go-around. :D

QuoteSnip™ --mkrishnan
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Story goes, I'm very bitter for not being able to get something I tried working for. All I wanted was my parents to put me on their insurance so I wouldn't have to pay as high of a premium and I'd buy one of my parent's idle cars from them to pair with the insurance. Now I've worked my ass off academically and physically for the luxury of driving, but my parents have been giving me the run around about financial status after building a house when I was pretty much brought up with the thought I'd be driving as soon as I got a license. My father started teaching me at 4 years old on his lap and then by the age of 10 I was in the drivers seat alone on empty roads down south and parking lots up here. But that all changed somewhere and as of now if I'd even ask my mother or father to drive with them somewhere they'd say no as if I'm not experienced enough to drive that long or that far. I'm just mad that I worked for it and my parents wouldn't help me out when they saw I was working so hard to try to be able to pay for both insurance and car when they could've helped me out and put me on their insurance/sold me one of their idle cars. This is contrary to my friend's parents who have basically given my friends fancy german cars and insurance with paid maintenance and fill-ups.

And this leads to the story now where I told my father I tried working physically for something I wanted and it just happened to screw me up in school and thats when he got mad at me and said it was my fault which I agree it was, but I really wanted it and even though I didn't get it, I'm now too adjusted to two jobs.
 
Hummer said:
Story goes, I'm very bitter for not being able to get something I tried working for.
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Welcome to life, kid. As the Rolling Stones said, you can't always get what you want. Get used to it, this won't be the last time this happens.
 
ucfgrad93 said:
Welcome to life, kid. As the Rolling Stones said, you can't always get what you want. Get used to it, this won't be the last time this happens.
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Well I've already accepted that fact, the only thing is I'm still bitter and I just have feelings of revenge especially since my parents could never give me a straight solid answer as to why they couldn't put me on their insurance while I would be paying for it. I felt I needed to get back at my parents. Whatever I just happened to screw up with, I was going to use as spite. So I told them the story about how I gave up on life a long time ago in spite of them, but the truth is picking up two jobs and failing school was something I didn't expect to happen. And its not like I'm failing all of my classes.

I have three real classes in total:

AP Biology
AP Euro
English Honors

My other classes are:
Religion and Gym which don't really count for anything, but I'm passing them just fine.

I'm passing Euro and English Honors just fine. Bio is the only thing I'm having trouble with and its somewhat a long story but I've become discouraged with some run ins with the teacher who teaches it.

Honestly I'm just angry and doing things that I feel will be disappointing to my parents. I feel they could've either said no we wont put you on the insurance because ..., but I got the run around of "Oh, the house," "Oh, its your Mother," "Oh, I can't afford it," (This is after I keep saying I'd pay for it), "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I just want to know what it is and a good reason about why I can't get put on their insurance, but no I get the run around of 50 million stories from each parent. When I really believe its just that they don't want me driving which I feel if I heard it from them that it would just get me more pissed off at them for building me up the way they did. But yea I'm not just going to shut up and accept the fact that I'm being lied to or not given real answers.
 
Maybe they see you as far too immature to be trusted driving them anywhere.

Can't think why, but that might be the case.
 
Hummer said:
Well I've already accepted that fact, the only thing is I'm still bitter and I just have feelings of revenge...
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If you are still bitter and plotting your revenge, then I would argue that you really haven't accepted their decision. It screams that you believe you are entitled to drive, insurance, etc. no matter what anyone says.

Hummer said:
especially since my parents could never give me a straight solid answer as to why they couldn't put me on their insurance while I would be paying for it. I felt I needed to get back at my parents.

Honestly I'm just angry and doing things that I feel will be disappointing to my parents.
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Ok, not to be harsh, but they don't owe you any answers. They said no. Deal with it. Again, this won't be the last time you run into situations like this. You need to learn how to deal with life's disappointments, because you aren't doing a very good job now. Just because you are willing to work for something doesn't mean you will get it. Its one of life's harsher lessons, and it is one that is better learned earlier rather than later.
 
Hummer said:
Whatever I just happened to screw up with, I was going to use as spite.
...
Honestly I'm just angry and doing things that I feel will be disappointing to my parents.
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Okay, you need to realize something.

You screwing up your life to spite your parents will ultimately come back to hurt one person; yourself. And when your life is screwed up in the future, you will feel absolutely ridiculous that you did it all on purpose because of a dispute about a car while you are living in the city with the best public transportation system in North America.

I've read your past posts, and this isn't mean to be insulting, but it seems like you have a hard time accepting that things don't always happen the way you want. You didn't get into NYU. Rather than applying to one of the many great schools in the NYC area, you had a one track mind, scheming to get into NYU in any way possible. You wanted to get a car, something which would require you to work full time (while going to school) to accomplish, and take out a loan on top of that. Rather than listen to the advice of people older and wiser than you, you had a one track mind about this, doing whatever you could to get that car.

I know you want to prove your parents "wrong", but you need to realize this: everything you are doing right now is proving them RIGHT. If they had thought you were too immature to own a car, there is absolutely nothing you are doing right now that will change their mind about it.

So you want some advice? Do the mature thing. Go back home, apologize, and tell your parents that you have been acting absolutely ridiculous. Show them you are mature enough to drive, because there is nothing you are doing now that shows that.
 
it5five said:
Okay, you need to realize something.

You screwing up your life to spite your parents will ultimately come back to hurt one person; yourself. And when your life is screwed up in the future, you will feel absolutely ridiculous that you did it all on purpose because of a dispute about a car while you are living in the city with the best public transportation system in North America.

I've read your past posts, and this isn't mean to be insulting, but it seems like you have a hard time accepting that things don't always happen the way you want. You didn't get into NYU. Rather than applying to one of the many great schools in the NYC area, you had a one track mind, scheming to get into NYU in any way possible. You wanted to get a car, something which would require you to work full time (while going to school) to accomplish, and take out a loan on top of that. Rather than listen to the advice of people older and wiser than you, you had a one track mind about this, doing whatever you could to get that car.

I know you want to prove your parents "wrong", but you need to realize this: everything you are doing right now is proving them RIGHT. If they had thought you were too immature to own a car, there is absolutely nothing you are doing right now that will change their mind about it.

So you want some advice? Do the mature thing. Go back home, apologize, and tell your parents that you have been acting absolutely ridiculous. Show them you are mature enough to drive, because there is nothing you are doing now that shows that.
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I wish all of you guys would realize, everything was great before this denial of me driving. Everything went down hill after I got my license. Before all of this I was an honor roll student making my parents proud and they were happy. I was happy because they made me believe I was working toward what I wanted. The only motivation I've ever had in doing well was when my dad told me he'd buy me a car if I were to get straight As in school which I did up until he told he that he couldn't get me the car. Thats when I got my first job, because I was under the impression that maybe he couldn't buy me a car but I could still buy my own and he'd help me out with insurance. Then he made the idea clear that there was no way he was helping me out with any of that as to which I am now bitter. They have never said that I was too immature to get a car or anything. And even if thats what they think, they only have room to think that now as before everything was fine. Its you guys that say that I was immature before and that I am immature now based on my circumstances right now. All of this downhill slope took place in October which is 4 months after I got my license and was eligible to drive.

Oh yea and I'm not purposely screwing up my life. I'm failing one class and tell my parents that it was my decision to fail. I failed it due to the complexity of the class and the fact that the relationship between me and the teacher isn't too well after I criticized her ability to teach a college course. She makes the entire class feel like idiots because she says that "We don't perform like a college class" . The AP course is meant to be a college course but when I made suggestions to her about what I've seen to be a college course by attending actual college courses with my college peers, she was highly insulted that I was correcting her. But the way she holds her classes are no where near a university standard.

Oh yea and I got into NYU's engineering school.
 
Hummer said:
...everything was great before this denial of me driving
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Yeah, life is always great when you are getting what you want. Its how you deal with not getting what you want that shows your maturity and character. Personally, I don't think that you have handled this very well.

Hummer said:
Thats when I got my first job, because I was under the impression that maybe he couldn't buy me a car but I could still buy my own and he'd help me out with insurance. Then he made the idea clear that there was no way he was helping me out with any of that as to which I am now bitter.
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Perhaps you should have talked all of this out with your parents and not made false assumptions.

Hummer said:
Oh yea and I got into NYU's engineering school.
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Congratulations! Perhaps this is what you should be focusing on rather than trying to get even with your parents.
 
I'm glad your parents are telling you no. By the sound of things they've indulged you for far too long.

Don't give this one any advice, sympathy or even attention folks. He's determined to show his parents the error of their ways by destroying his life. Of course he'll regret it later, but if he's going to behave like a spoiled child throwing his dummy out let him make the mistake and learn by it.

Best of luck with growing up Hummer.
 
dynamicv said:
I'm glad your parents are telling you no. By the sound of things they've indulged you for far too long.

Don't give this one any advice, sympathy or even attention folks. He's determined to show his parents the error of their ways by destroying his life. Of course he'll regret it later, but if he's going to behave like a spoiled child throwing his dummy out let him make the mistake and learn by it.

Best of luck with growing up Hummer.
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Uh, gee I'm not destroying my life. I'm failing one class. So what I tell my parents I am just to get even with them even though I'm not. I'm so glad you actually read my last post. I am not ruining my life despite me telling my parents I am doing so. I may be ruining the relationship with my parents but I'm definitely not ruining my life.

I'd be glad to see what kind of parent you'd make if you believe that verbal positive reinforcement as motivation to do well in school is indulgence. And especially if you're going to lie to your children about it, wait till they're done with school to tell them that you were lying to them.

I don't see that my parents telling me I'd be getting a car by doing well is indulgence. I sure don't know how you see that as me being indulged for a long time.

I'm glad I am not having children or a family because I know now that by doing one thing I could put them on the wrong track or show them mixed intentions.
 
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