Well, I was just posting the question to see if this is a common thing with the new models and if other people were having similar issues. I knew right away that it was the ram, and that no real troubleshooting could be done since it wouldn't even give the classic mac bootup sound. It appears as if I'm almost completely alone in this issue though... It was traumatizing to hear nothing but those beeps the first time i opened the lid...
Anyway, rather than getting a replacement, I got a full refund from apple, and ordered it off MacMall with 2 day shipping since I needed it ASAP and would be on vacation long before apple reshipped it, due to custom 1.7/8gb/128gb order. Also, even though I had a student discount through the apple store, it still came out $10 cheaper through MacMall