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Old Nov 2, 2012, 12:39 AM   #1
aliciadear
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Spyware/Parental control for iPhone 4S?

Any good suggestions of Spyware/Parental control for iPhone 4s?
My parents are having some problems with my 16 year old sister and I know many people on here are going to think they're being over protective and controlling before I explain the situation, but I assure you, they are justified. If you are still having problems understanding their actions, pretend you are her parents and put yourself in their shoes.

The Problem: My 16 year old sister has been sneaking around and lying to my parents for the past year. She has an iPhone 4S because her android phone she had before broke and the iPhone was a good deal when she got it. They'd had spyware to watch her texts and call log on the android because she would lie about where she was going and then come home throwing up drunk or they'd catch her in a lie and pick her up drunk. They also intercepted very inappropriate text message conversations with multiple boys that I won't go into detail about because as her older sister, it makes me want to throw up. Now that she's driving, this is all the more of a concern because if she gets behind the wheel drunk (or if any of her friends do) lives are in danger. These days, she isn't being as bad as she used to be, but there is still major lying going on and none of these kids parents care about their kids well being enough to put them on tighter leashes. So my sister feels like this poor, tortured soul because my parents wont let her do things like driving 100 miles out of town to stay at some boys ranch with all her friends and no parents and probably a lot of alcohol instead of going to the homecoming dance. I'll add that some kids did go to this ranch and there was a 4-wheeler accident involving 3 kids and all 3 were care-flighted and one girl has brain damage and several broken bones and only recently has come out of a medically induced coma. She'll have to be in physical therapy/rehab for the next year and her brain functionality will probably never be the same. These kids are spoiled and their parents are stupid for letting them pretend like they're adults.

All that being said, my parents have tried to get spyware to work to watch my sisters iphone, but since the IOS upgrade, none of the software works. They also could never see imessages which was a problem because all of these kids have iphones.

Does anyone know of a really good type of spyware or software that my parents can use to keep track of my sister and read her texts? She knows they have seen her texts and stuff so it doesn't have to be a secret to her, she just needs to not be able to hide stuff. They've spent so much money on different products and they just need to find one that works.

note: they already turned down my idea which was locking her in her room till she's 40 or taking away her phone and her car and treating her like she's an 8 year old. I tried.

Last edited by aliciadear; Nov 2, 2012 at 01:07 AM.
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Old Nov 2, 2012, 01:00 AM   #2
KeepCalmPeople
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Firstly, let me say that I admire your concern for your sister.

Secondly, I think you want to get all these problems with her off your chest, and that is understandable. You might get a better response on another forum (raising children?) regarding your sister, as clearly her phone use is just one small part of the problem.

Thirdly, and to answer your question, I have tween children and a teenager with an iPhone, and I have yet to find any monitoring apps that can be used without jail breaking. It seems to me that your/our only option is to disable features entirely (Texting, FaceTime, Safari, Internet access etc.).

Perhaps your phone carrier can provide you with texts etc.?

I hate to say it but an Android phone is much better suited to monitoring IMO.
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Old Nov 2, 2012, 09:16 AM   #3
scaredpoet
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aliciadear View Post
note: they already turned down my idea which was locking her in her room till she's 40 or taking away her phone and her car and treating her like she's an 8 year old. I tried.
Exaggeration aside; they're enabling her. If the phone and car is how she gets to these bad influences, they need to get rid of both.

In any case, there are some parental controls built into iOS. Beyond that, without jailbreaking, there's not a whole lot you can do. Sorry.

And even if you did jailbreak and install other controls, there's probably a good chance that those friends of hers with iPhones would know how to get around that pretty easily, by just wiping and resetting the phone.

This is why your parents are going to need to step up. If she's using the iPhone to do all these things they don't want her to do, then it's clear she's not mature enough to have one. Give her a dumbphone, or even no phone at all.
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Old Nov 2, 2012, 09:32 AM   #4
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Trust me that wont help especially if she knows they are watching her texts, she could easily download an app like google voice and just use that to text, and text innocent things using her regular phone number to throw them off.

Honestly short of taking away her car and phone, kids will be kids and will find ways around anything.
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Old Nov 2, 2012, 10:14 AM   #5
bsmith4832
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While I'm probably not "qualified" by any means - I'm in my late 20's and get questions like this often from co-workers as I work in IT (I work with alot of people with children in the 10-18 range).

First, I agree wholeheartedly with scaredpoet. If the phone and car are getting her to said places/setting things up - cut those items off.

When I got "caught" by my parents when I was 16 for doing things A LOT worse than anything you've mentioned above - they cut off my phone, my car, monitored everywhere I went (since they were usually dropping me off/picking me up), took my money from my job at the time, etc. Then they laid out different "options" for me. Such as, activities that I could get involved in, along with trying to promote me hanging out with other non-trouble making kids (whom they were close with the parents and they could monitor situations/have a mutual understanding). When I wanted to buy something - they would allow me to access my funds for that one item. They did this to ensure I wasn't buying alcohol/drugs with that money.

While I thought (at the time) it was the worst and dumbest thing they could have ever done, I now realize it was solid parenting. If they were going to monitor my texts or try and catch me in lies - I would outsmart them. They tried that a few times, and I got around it. Kids are smart when it comes to technology and if your parents aren't active in these "techniques" (which I'm assuming they aren't) they won't catch her.

In regards to your parent's not allowing her to go to some guy's ranch 100 miles away -- that's good parenting. There's NO WAY in hell my parent's would have let me done that in my teens. Good for them.

I think your parents have the right idea - but monitoring her texts isn't going to solve a problem - it's simply going to make her move to another method of lying. They need to "blanket" the entire situation - start from the beginning - stand back and try to figure out how you can aid in changing the catalysts in her behavior.
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Old Nov 6, 2012, 12:06 PM   #6
old-wiz
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If she is actually driving home drunk, the parents should take away both her car and her phone before she kills someone. If the girl kills someone, the financial cost to the parents would be enormous.

I have zero sympathy for people who drive drunk.
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Old Nov 8, 2012, 11:36 AM   #7
ucfgrad93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scaredpoet View Post
Exaggeration aside; they're enabling her. If the phone and car is how she gets to these bad influences, they need to get rid of both.

In any case, there are some parental controls built into iOS. Beyond that, without jailbreaking, there's not a whole lot you can do. Sorry.

And even if you did jailbreak and install other controls, there's probably a good chance that those friends of hers with iPhones would know how to get around that pretty easily, by just wiping and resetting the phone.

This is why your parents are going to need to step up. If she's using the iPhone to do all these things they don't want her to do, then it's clear she's not mature enough to have one. Give her a dumbphone, or even no phone at all.
Agreed. While it is possible that she will find ways around this, the parents need to step up and make it as difficult as possible for the girl to do bad things.
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Old Nov 8, 2012, 12:23 PM   #8
Small White Car
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While I agree with others that this situation sounds more severe than what software can fix, I'll at least suggest the iOS Enterprise management software:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/appl...34433123?mt=12
(Mac only, of course)

This would allow them to manage the phone in the same way business IT departments manage their employees.

Again, this isn't a fix for this problem, but it may be a start.
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Old Nov 9, 2012, 09:11 AM   #9
Stampyhead
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If you want to read her iMessages and know her location all you need is her Apple ID and password. Get another iPhone or iPad or even a Mac and set it up with her Apple ID. Then any texts she sends via iMessage will come through to that device as well. To know her location simply log into Find My Phone using her Apple ID and it will tell you where she is.
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Old Nov 10, 2012, 09:08 AM   #10
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For location, you can also set up Find My Friends and put parental controls on so she can't modify the app.
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