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Old Jan 2, 2013, 12:19 AM   #51
Judas1
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A lot of rules tied to a smartphone makes no sense to me. If they're good, it's just overbearing and annoying. If they're bad, it's just stupid because they will find ways around it. If you give your kids a smart phone, you should only do it if you trust them. Otherwise, don't give to them.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 04:33 AM   #52
tymaster50
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Originally Posted by syd430 View Post
OP is biased, he is not far off from 13 himself
And the parents are biased too. So what's your point? She started off the "contract" with congrats you're the proud new owner of a iPhone blah blah blah I believe you to be mature and responsible enough and then look at all the rules she outlined. Naturally any teenager will not want to follow rules like that. He can either turn out to be one of those uptight 40 year old virgin kind of guy's or one of those guys that once reaching 18 will move out to college as quickly as possible and never call his mom again.
And I'm not one of those snobby rich kids. I get my apple products through working, even if it's small like taking out the garbage, I'm a middle class African-american in a suburb. When I was 13 I was still posting on forums such as this with grammar that was easily above the age level. I am not in any way shape or form "a snot-nosed brat".
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 06:13 AM   #53
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Originally Posted by Small White Car View Post
It is relevant because anyone with kids quickly realizes that every kid is different and you can't judge other parents since you don't live with that particular kid.

We're not saying us parents know how to raise that kid and you don't. We're saying that NONE of us here know how to raise that kid.

What makes the non-parents different is that they haven't realized that yet.

So yeah, I'm saying you can't express an opinion about that mom. And I, as a parent...can't either!
If someone is a nurse no two of their patients are the same, if someone is a teacher no two of their students are the same, etc. Of course no two children are the same, it's obvious to most people with a brain. To say people who don't have kids don't understand people (old or young) are different is ridiculous.

Going on what you've written most PEOPLE should stop expressing an opinion on most things. Maybe we should only be able to vote if we've held political office? Or how about having no say as to which school your child is enrolled in because you know nothing about education? This would be a stupid thing to do, so why is it wrong for a 17 year old to express an opinion? He/she has more recent direct experience of the other side of this story than the rest of us. Their opinion is no less valid than anyone else's since this is after all only a discussion on a forum.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 06:15 AM   #54
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Originally Posted by ucfgrad93 View Post
For me, my #1 rule would be "My 13 year old kid is too young for an iPhone."
Kudos.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 06:36 AM   #55
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The 13-year-old’s mom made him sign an 18-point contract before handing over his new prized possession: an iPhone.
What is this, 50 Shades of Parenting?

Quote:
The first rule reads: "It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?"
Merry Christmas, I'm lending you some of my possessions! Now sign this contract!

She sounds like a right barrel of laughs.

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The contract stipulates when Greg must turn off his phone for the day and where he is allowed to use it.
Not only is it just a rental, but I'm also going to control exactly how and when you use it, because **** you that's why!

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It also forbids the teen from ignoring calls from his parents or using the phone to hurt others.
Fair enough.

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Other rules in the agreement prohibit Greg from using the phone to look at porn or to send and receive “pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts.”
The last bit of this is also very fair, not allowing a teenager to sext is all well and good. But if you seriously expect them not to use their smartphone to look up porn you got another thing coming.

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If Greg fails to follow the rules, the phone will be taken away, Janell warns in the contract.
In all honesty, the bulk of this is less about giving the kid a gift and more about exerting more control over him. It's like your company giving you a work phone. Yeah, you have a cool new phone, but you only have it so your employer can keep tabs on you in your free time.

If my parents tried to pull this **** I'd tell them they can keep the damn phone. But then, when I was just a year or two older than the kid in the article, I saved up and bought my own phone.

The biggest concern I have about this story, though, is that it was reported by a news outlet. It must have been a reaaaally slow news day for them to bother reporting this BS.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 06:49 AM   #56
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 07:58 AM   #57
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I'm 22, so I think I'm old enough to look at this objectively but young enough that I had a cell phone at 13.

I completely understand the need for cell phone rules with kids, but some of these are completely ridiculous. The kids with parents who go crazy with the rules are always the ones that go crazy breaking said rules. The kid is 13, he's too old for such specific rules like that. 7:30pm on weeknights? Come on. She's treating her son like he's 8 and it's going to frustrate him, causing him to rebel.

Just my opinion.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 08:14 AM   #58
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Originally Posted by Certinfy View Post
Would rather not have a phone to be honest.
Most of us got thru childhood just fine without one - and realize we learned some necessary lessons which having a phone precludes. I'd rather they not have one, save perhaps for one with a big red "dial Dad" button and no other function. Insofar as they likely will (hey, her second word was "iPad"), similar rules will be in place - not to stifle them, but because there's stuff they're not ready for yet.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 08:44 AM   #59
Damolee
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The one about music, must be a joke. Pretty sure of that.

The rest could make perfect sense.

The one about excessive pictures and videos might not make sense to you kids on here, but it could be that this particular child has a habit of filming / taking excessive pics at inappropriate times.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 08:50 AM   #60
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Originally Posted by QuarterSwede View Post
Bingo.


Bango.


Bongo.

Sorry OP, but if you don't have kids you simply have zero room to talk. Having them changes you that much.

My thoughts on the article: Some kids need harsh rules because they're strong headed, stubborn, etc. and won't learn any other way while others learn quicker and are more likely to obey authority. It all depends on the kid.
Hold up. Not having a child doesn't suggest that a person cannot have an opinion on a subject. Not to mention, I have seen a fair amount of great decisions made when it comes to the well-being of a child by people who did not create said kid. Likewise, I've seen some pretty poor parenting from people who did reproduce.

That being said, the rules for the most part make a lot of sense to me but there seems to be little reason this child should have a smart phone. A simple phone would have worked a lot better but parents will do what they want. This news article doesn't need to prove that.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 08:57 AM   #61
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I've seen some pretty poor parenting from people who did reproduce.
Like this guy.

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Old Jan 2, 2013, 09:24 AM   #62
Kissaragi
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Poor kid, if she's like that over a phone, image the other rules he has to abide by. Theres a difference between setting boundaries and being a dictator.

She going to get a well deserved shock when he enters his rebellious teen years.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 09:29 AM   #63
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Originally Posted by m00min View Post
Going on what you've written most PEOPLE should stop expressing an opinion on most things.
Now you've got it!

Do I know what it's like to quit smoking?
Do I know what it's like to be in a war zone?
Do I know how to work in a hospital?

No, no, and no. I would absolutely take the advice of a smoker, a soldier, and a doctor on these subjects over my own thoughts. Of COURSE they know better than me!

And I don't see why I should somehow think my opinion should supersede those people's experience.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 09:35 AM   #64
corvus32
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The rules are perfectly fine considering no one had a cellphone when I was a teenager. If you wanted to talk to your girlfriend, there was this thing called a house phone and if you had one that was cordless or in your bedroom you were really something.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 09:39 AM   #65
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I have seen this topic posted on multiple forums recently, being a parent of 2 under 5 year olds - seeing all the replies from kids/teenagers is both funny and scary.

I agree with about 80% of these rules
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 09:40 AM   #66
pat park
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The rules are perfectly fine considering no one had a cellphone when I was a teenager. If you wanted to talk to your girlfriend, there was this thing called a house phone and if you had one that was cordless or in your bedroom you were really something.
This is what most of us older folk went thru when we were teenagers.

This generation who grew up with smartphones certainly come off as entitled, spoiled brats who expect to get a phone with no rules, no obligation.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 09:50 AM   #67
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Originally Posted by corvus32 View Post
The rules are perfectly fine considering no one had a cellphone when I was a teenager. If you wanted to talk to your girlfriend, there was this thing called a house phone and if you had one that was cordless or in your bedroom you were really something.
I grew up with the same kind of environment. I did the old Nokia brick phone when I was 17 but it was a family plan and I didn't really even use as my social tool. It was call people when I getting ready to hit the road or call in emergencies on the farm. I had one girlfriend after I was 16 and could drive to go see her. I personally don't want my kids dating at 13 with all the teenage pregnancies. Kids are stupid at that age. I know, I was there. I was immature as crap at 13. This 13 year old needs to focus on two things. School and figuring out how to fap in peace without getting caught.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 09:55 AM   #68
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Instead of the 8 million rules and requirements to giving a 13yo a smartphone, how about saving about $300 plus the monthly cost of the cell phone bill by giving him the old flip phone collecting dust in a drawer and maybe give him an ipod touch..

I don't have kids, but to have that many rules on something at 13, maybe it's a hint the kid isn't ready for it.. but that's just my opinion.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 09:58 AM   #69
m00min
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Originally Posted by pat park View Post
This is what most of us older folk went thru when we were teenagers.

This generation who grew up with smartphones certainly come off as entitled, spoiled brats who expect to get a phone with no rules, no obligation.
At the moment there are at least options, i.e. don't buy the smart phone, a dumb phone calls home just fine when they need picking up from their friends house, etc. same with computers, the family computer is a desktop, with the screen facing into the room, a room with plenty of traffic. Wifi is good but lock it down properly. Clearly us geeky, nerdy types have an advantage there.

Give it a decade though and all of the above gets a lot harder. All mobile phones will be smart phones. Affordable desktop computers will go the way of the dinosaur.

That's why the kid with the smart phone in the original post is a bit of a red herring, there's got to be some trust there first regardless of the technology. If he needs an explicit rule to not photograph and text his own dangly bits I'd be worried about him having access to a computer, let alone a phone.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 09:58 AM   #70
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The kid in question is 13. These rules make perfect sense. Me being 33 and the fact that I paid for my iphone and my monthly service fees, I will look at as much porn as I like and pretty much do whatever I please with it. Of course if I break it, then I gotta fix it.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 10:16 AM   #71
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....Theres a few good points on both sides! I love a good debate!

While I do not iron-clad agree or disagree with the actions of this mother, I would like to say this:

The intent is admirable. The execution is interesting. As a parent, I understand and agree with most of the rules. Theres a few silly ones. To each their own, but I feel this is a situation that could backfire horribly. I'm talking not only rebellious behavior, but building a false safety net as well. This kid gets to a certain age, the rest of the world could eat him alive. Could work great too, every situation/child is different.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 10:20 AM   #72
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Originally Posted by tymaster50 View Post
so basically it's like a dictatorship lol way to have faith in your kids!
Parenting isn't a one-size-fits-all matter.

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Originally Posted by tymaster50 View Post
Nope but I wouldn't want to be overly controlling.
...and theorizing versus actually parenting are two entirely different things. Every parent tries to strike the right balance and what's "overly controlling" depends not only on the parent but the child as well. It's certainly possible to go too far in the other direction as well. Generalizing on the subject really doesn't mean anything. The parent has to adjust as needed to the child.

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Originally Posted by tymaster50 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by pat park View Post
How old are you?
17.
...especially when you're just 17 and an expert on every topic. I was there too -- as were many others. With more age, experience and wisdom you'll realize you're not the expert you think you are. I certainly have.

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Old Jan 2, 2013, 10:23 AM   #73
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I'm glad she isn't my mother, no offence to that kid.

My parents were always strict on me, but I got my first phone when I was going to High School (11 in the UK) and I was allowed to do what I wanted with it.

No rules controlling me or what I could do with it. The computer was different, they knew my passwords until I didn't have to use the family one anymore, then again I was allowed to do what I wanted with it.

I can see why some parents do this, but even with a trustworthy kid, well I think sometimes it's better to let kids discover these things for themselves, and well if he makes a mistake he will learn from it, placing all these rules infront of kids can sometimes just make things more difficult for them.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 10:32 AM   #74
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Originally Posted by ucfgrad93 View Post
For me, my #1 rule would be "My 13 year old kid is too young for an iPhone."
Agree 100%. And I'm 16.

If a kid absolutely needs to call, those small simple nokias can do the job quite well. I find lots of kids who don't need them, still get a fully fledged smartphone.
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Old Jan 2, 2013, 10:36 AM   #75
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I think the one about body parts and not to use it to hurt people is ok, having raised a 20 and 17 year old boys, I see some of the points but some are way too strict. I think she is trying to make a point but taking away some of the glory of having the phone, especially that she notes he is a good 13 year old. This mom could have made her point without being so harsh.
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