I can guarantee 100% for a fact that the light sensor just ISN'T THERE. At all. There isn't one. Apple just didn't put it there and gave a lame excuse.
This is the email from Phil Schiller saying "the iPod 5 doesn't have a light sensor because its just too thin".
But they don't even sell the earPods without remote - they went out of their way to give the new iPod touch an inferior pair than you can get in store, and the remote is one of the things that really makes a difference with a touch based iPod!
They included a random loop, it just seems tight they skimped on the remote!