Have you made a major move/relocation?

sdilley14 · Jan 26, 2015

I'm at a point where I am considering making a major (to me) relocation.

I turned 30 years old in October. I am single with no kids.

Currently I like in Wisconsin. I am 2+ hours away from any major city. I have lived in my current city for about 10 years.

Pros:
Stable job I have been at for 3 years with a company I really love
I own a decent house
I have a small but good core group of friends
Family lives about 2 hours away

Cons:
COLD 4-5 months out of the year
The job I have is good, but I'm not exactly lighting the world on fire. I work at a credit union and I make $40k/yr
Very thin/shallow/weak dating pool where I am at (college town of about 70k people)
Basically NO culture/diversity
Bars/drinking is the primary form of activity/entertainment here

I could add on to these lists, but that is the bulk of it.

I'm at a point where I feel like I could use a change of scenery. I live in this town where everyone seems to know everyone else. I have dated a lot around here and nothing has seemed to work out. As I mentioned, it's mostly a college town. Two great women that I dated ended up moving away for grad school. I'm a decent looking guy, smart, athletic, blah blah...and I find myself in this place where I'm 30, single, making a mediocre income, and feeling like I'm living in this place that I've outgrown.

I am thinking about moving from WI to Phoenix, AZ.

I have a couple friends that live there, so I wouldn't be flying in completely blind. The weather is vastly better there, more things to do, places to go, people to see, MUCH better dating pool, etc etc. But of course I would also be leaving a couple "best friends" and my family would be much farther away. However, I only see my good friends maybe once a month? And my family once every 2-3 months? And it would only be a $250 flight back home to visit.

I'm trying to be rational about it and take my time. Don't rush it, get a job lined up, make sure it's a good fit, etc.

Even though I know 30 isn't "old", I feel like this is the type of move someone in their early-mid 20's would make. Someone who is still trying to figure out who they are and where they belong. Maybe I still fall into that category.

Has anyone else on here made this type of move? Any insight/advice/comments on my idea of moving or the situation as a whole?

Apple fanboy · Jan 26, 2015

sdilley14 said:
I'm at a point where I am considering making a major (to me) relocation.

I turned 30 years old in October. I am single with no kids.

Currently I like in Wisconsin. I am 2+ hours away from any major city. I have lived in my current city for about 10 years.

Pros:
Stable job I have been at for 3 years with a company I really love
I own a decent house
I have a small but good core group of friends
Family lives about 2 hours away

Cons:
COLD 4-5 months out of the year
The job I have is good, but I'm not exactly lighting the world on fire. I work at a credit union and I make $40k/yr
Very thin/shallow/weak dating pool where I am at (college town of about 70k people)
Basically NO culture/diversity
Bars/drinking is the primary form of activity/entertainment here

I could add on to these lists, but that is the bulk of it.

I'm at a point where I feel like I could use a change of scenery. I live in this town where everyone seems to know everyone else. I have dated a lot around here and nothing has seemed to work out. As I mentioned, it's mostly a college town. Two great women that I dated ended up moving away for grad school. I'm a decent looking guy, smart, athletic, blah blah...and I find myself in this place where I'm 30, single, making a mediocre income, and feeling like I'm living in this place that I've outgrown.

I am thinking about moving from WI to Phoenix, AZ.

I have a couple friends that live there, so I wouldn't be flying in completely blind. The weather is vastly better there, more things to do, places to go, people to see, MUCH better dating pool, etc etc. But of course I would also be leaving a couple "best friends" and my family would be much farther away. However, I only see my good friends maybe once a month? And my family once every 2-3 months? And it would only be a $250 flight back home to visit.

I'm trying to be rational about it and take my time. Don't rush it, get a job lined up, make sure it's a good fit, etc.

Even though I know 30 isn't "old", I feel like this is the type of move someone in their early-mid 20's would make. Someone who is still trying to figure out who they are and where they belong. Maybe I still fall into that category.

Has anyone else on here made this type of move? Any insight/advice/comments on my idea of moving or the situation as a whole?

I've lived in a few different locations within the UK. My first move was Essex (South) to Newcastle (North). I did this when I was in my late teens and thoroughly enjoyed my time in Geordie land.
Then when I was up North, I met my future wife, who was living in London at the time. I moved down to London to be closer to her not long after. After a few years of living in London together, my firm offered me a relocation package to move to the Midlands. By then I was a dad and early 30's. It was much harder than my previous moves, as it was much easier to integrate with the locals when I was in my teens and twenties, but that was probably more to do with my own family situation.
If your not happy where you are, either change where you are, or change something's about how you live there.
Good luck.

sdilley14 · Jan 26, 2015

Apple fanboy said:
If your not happy where you are, either change where you are, or change something's about how you live there.

That's good advice - thank you.

Thekarens · Jan 26, 2015

When I was 29 (16 years ago) I got up and moved me and my 2 kids and critters from Idaho to Texas. It wasn't the most financially sound decision, but I'm much happier here and if I had to do it over I'd do the same thing.

tzhu07 · Jan 26, 2015

A great metropolis without the craziness of LA or NY.

ucfgrad93 · Jan 26, 2015

In 2005, my family moved to Colorado from Florida. We came out here with no friends, no jobs, & no family. My teenage daughter thought the world was coming to an end when we told her we were moving. I was born and lived my entire life in Florida. And we love it here in Colorado.

You are young, unattached, etc. I say go for it.

bradl · Jan 26, 2015

I'll chime in..

I was born and in Omaha, Nebraska. I spent 23 years of my life there, and like Wisconsin, I had the ups and downs of weather: warm in the summer (whether that be from rain/floods or droughts), and chillingly cold in the winter. I always joked that for the winter storms we got in the winter, we sent the leftovers to Chicago.

Anyway, I got tired of it, and shoveling my way out of my driveway every year. So I decided to make the move to Las Vegas. I chose there because all my relatives (save 2) were living in Oklahoma, and I got tired of the football rivalry, plus it was a bit too (culturally) conservative for me. So I packed up everything I had, and shortly before a snow storm came in the beginning of January, I took the southern route to Vegas (drive down south and then west).

First day I get there, it snows.

However, snow in Las Vegas is just as crazy, as people there don't know how to drive in it, and I was out in a t-shirt and shorts (and people there thought I was crazy).

Anyway, fast forward 5 years, and while I loved the desert scenery and being able to go out of town and actually see the stars, I missed trees and grass (let's admit it: the only trees you see in Vegas are shipped in on flatbed trucks from Palm Springs, and the only grass you see is on a golf course).

Wanting the best of both, I moved to Sacramento, where I live with my wife. I'm 100 miles from the desert and mountains (Reno), in the middle of the central valley (farmland), and moderate trees.

1500 miles from Omaha to Vegas, 680 from Vegas to Sacramento, and we're potentially considering a move to Portland, so that would be another 670 miles.

I don't regret any of the moves I've made, especially now with the fact that old friends are only a FaceTime call away.. but earlier in those moves I missed a lot of my childhood friends. But it was a move I needed. No regrets from it.

BL.

einmusiker · Jan 26, 2015

I made a VERY similar move as you are considering. I moved from Madison after grad school to NYC. I don't regret it, even though I sometimes miss the simplicity of wisco. My career is much better off, although it's hard to say what might have happen had a stayed for a doctorate. The dating scene was vastly more expansive but also has its complications as well. Its difficult to say what might be best for you in your particular situation but you won't really know unless you give it a try.

sdilley14 · Jan 27, 2015

Wow - thank you all for the feedback and sharing your experiences.

Any time you're thinking about making a change like this, whether you want to admit it or not, you're looking for a little validation in your idea. I haven't come across a single person (on here or in "real life") that has told me, "no, don't do it, bad idea!"

The way that we're all so connected now with Facebook, texting, FaceTIme, and flights across the country only costing a couple hundred bucks, it doesn't *feel* like you're that far away from anyone anymore.

I certainly have more to think about and consider, but I'm heavily leaning in the direction of moving.

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tzhu07 said:
Come to Seattle.

A great metropolis without the craziness of LA or NY.

That was/is on my short list of places I would move to.

Huntn · Jan 27, 2015

It's a big move. Culture shock could be an issue. You are trading extreme cold for 4 months for extreme heat for 6 months. I assume you've hung out in Pheonix with friends on many occasions? For myself I prefer the hills and woods of Wisconsin to the desert. You could also move over by the Twin Cities and be in or near a city of 2 million with lots of cultural and athletic activities. My cousin moved from Iowa to Florida for a job and hated every minute of it.

sdilley14 · Jan 27, 2015

Huntn said:
It's a big move. Culture shock could be an issue. You are trading extreme cold for 4 months for extreme heat for 6 months. I assume you've hung out in Pheonix with friends on many occasions? For myself I prefer the hills and woods of Wisconsin to the desert. You could also move over by the Twin Cities and be in or near a city of 2 million with lots of cultural and athletic activities. My cousin moved from Iowa to Florida for a job and hated every minute of it.

Yup, I've visited Phoenix and have a fair idea of the culture, weather, scenery, etc.

And don't get me wrong, I love WI in the Spring, Summer, and Fall. The colors and scenery are wonderful. But the 4-5 months Winters are just brutal and depressing. It actually got up to about 38 degrees this past Sunday, so that was nice. Aside from that, it has been 0-30 degrees and grey/cloudy/dark for the last 2 months. We can't even seem to get any sunshine here anymore - just grey and cold every.damn.day. :S

The Twin Cities would be an upgrade as far as culture and "places to go and things to do", but it would be a lateral move weather-wise. And only about 2 hours away from where I'm living now. I feel that if I'm going to make a move, I'd really like to move to an entirely new area.

sdilley14 · Jan 27, 2015

Another question - would you buy or rent?

On one hand, there is always some uncertainty in making a move like this. What if you get 3-6 months in and it just doesn't work? If you buy a house you're left with that pressure to sell ASAP (or be straddled with a big monthly payment on a place you're not living in) if you need to move again. I know turning the place into a rental is always an option, but that comes with challenges too.

On the other hand, after looking at apartments, it's looking like it'll be $700+/mo to get an apartment I'm really going to enjoy. 10 month lease for $700/mo, 6 month lease for $840/mo.

The payment isn't really the problem - I just can't stand the idea of throwing away $7,000+ on rent for the first 6-10 months.

lucidmedia · Jan 27, 2015

I understand the desire for change and wanting to live in places that are different. It sounds to me like you are ready for a move. In the grand scheme of things you don't appear to have that much risk.

I just accepted a job that will require me to move 9,129 miles away from where I grew up. I had been at my job 15 years and am in my early-40s. The wife and three kids are coming with. It will be an adventure.

I would, however, suggest you rent for a while... even though it seems like throwing money away. The first big step is finally moving away. The second is finding a place that is a good fit. You may discover that once you are untethered you want to continue to explore. There are lots of amazing places out there, and you might not find the right one on the first place you land. Renting allows you to try out the culture of a place to see if it is a good fit. You don't want to buy a home and then decide to move away, esp. in a city where the housing market is notoriously variable.

lowendlinux · Jan 28, 2015

Since I turned 18 I have lived in Florida, Ohio, Michigan, Georgia, New York, Hawaii, and now Europe. I wouldn't change a thing.

sdilley14 · Jan 28, 2015

lucidmedia said:
I understand the desire for change and wanting to live in places that are different. It sounds to me like you are ready for a move. In the grand scheme of things you don't appear to have that much risk.

I just accepted a job that will require me to move 9,129 miles away from where I grew up. I had been at my job 15 years and am in my early-40s. The wife and three kids are coming with. It will be an adventure.

I would, however, suggest you rent for a while... even though it seems like throwing money away. The first big step is finally moving away. The second is finding a place that is a good fit. You may discover that once you are untethered you want to continue to explore. There are lots of amazing places out there, and you might not find the right one on the first place you land. Renting allows you to try out the culture of a place to see if it is a good fit. You don't want to buy a home and then decide to move away, esp. in a city where the housing market is notoriously variable.

That's a very good point.

I'm hoping I can land a roommate to at least lighten the amount of money I'll be throwing out the window each month on rent.

And I suppose if I really wanted to reationalize it to myself, I would be paying maybe $700-$800/mo on rent, and I will have someone renting my house back home for $900-$1000/mo, with my mortgage payment being about $750...so I'm still coming out ahead I suppose.

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lowendlinux said:
Since I turned 18 I have lived in Florida, Ohio, Michigan, Georgia, New York, Hawaii, and now Europe. I wouldn't change a thing.

Sounds like an adventure!

Why so many moves?

mscriv · Jan 30, 2015

My wife and I moved to Texas from Tennessee in the first year of our marriage. We didn't know anyone here at the time, but made the move so that I could finish graduate school. The toughest thing about making a big move is uprooting established things in your life. If you are young, unmarried, and have no children then making a move like this can be a fun adventure with minimal risks. I say go for it if that's what you really want to do. All the best and keep us posted on how things go.

srltzz342 · Jan 30, 2015

I lived in Houston TX for most of my life, and a job opportunity opened up in New Jersey of all places. So now, I live in New Jersey. It was quite a change of climate, for one thing. But I'm happy here. Heck, I was happy in Houston, too. I'd probably be happy most places, as long as my wife is with me. (and we don't live in the tundra all year long........)

sdilley14 · Jan 30, 2015

mscriv said:
My wife and I moved to Texas from Tennessee in the first year of our marriage. We didn't know anyone here at the time, but made the move so that I could finish graduate school. The toughest thing about making a big move is uprooting established things in your life. If you are young, unmarried, and have no children then making a move like this can be a fun adventure with minimal risks. I say go for it if that's what you really want to do. All the best and keep us posted on how things go.

Thanks for sharing and the words of encouragement.

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srltzz342 said:
I lived in Houston TX for most of my life, and a job opportunity opened up in New Jersey of all places. So now, I live in New Jersey. It was quite a change of climate, for one thing. But I'm happy here. Heck, I was happy in Houston, too. I'd probably be happy most places, as long as my wife is with me. (and we don't live in the tundra all year long........)

I hear you. A big part of why I want to move is the fact that I am still single and the dating scene in my area is awful. It's a college town, very few solid prospects for a person like myself. Packing up and moving to a big city in a warmer climate seems like a good move to me in every way.

MusicEnthusiast · Jan 30, 2015

Moved from Seattle to Los Angeles last year. Put my life in 2 check-in bags and 2 carry-on items on a one-way Southwest flight after graduating college. Started a job here and absolutely love the new scenery and warm weather.

Seattle will always be my true home though! I plan to go home for a visit at least once a year to see friends/family and to dabble at the things I left at my house where my mom is still residing.

dukebound85 · Jan 30, 2015

I am 29 and I have lived in Kansas, then to Nebraska to Georgia to Nebraska to Colorado to Oklahoma to Colorado to New York and back to Colorado.

Moving brings excitement. Do it

moonman239 · Jan 31, 2015

Why not move to wherever your family lives? That way, you'll be a 2-hr drive from your old friends.

AustinIllini · Jan 31, 2015

Chicago to Austin for me.

Quite and adjustment. Took me about 18 months to really call Austin home.

sdilley14 · Feb 2, 2015

dukebound85 said:
I am 29 and I have lived in Kansas, then to Nebraska to Georgia to Nebraska to Colorado to Oklahoma to Colorado to New York and back to Colorado.

Moving brings excitement. Do it

Thanks for the input. Even just thinking/daydreaming about it has brought some excitement to my life! I can't wait to keep pushing forward with this.

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moonman239 said:
Why not move to wherever your family lives? That way, you'll be a 2-hr drive from your old friends.

Not an option. My family lives in a very rural, small town. There are NO jobs there other than farms and factories. Absolutely no opportunity for a single, young professional type. And living there wouldn't bring more favorable weather either.

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MusicEnthusiast said:
I plan to go home for a visit at least once a year to see friends/family and to dabble at the things I left at my house where my mom is still residing.

This kind of excites me, too. I love the idea of flying across the country to visit home/family/friends 3-4 times a year. I think it will make that time back home much sweeter and more exciting. And I'm loving the idea of going home to Wisconsin in the middle of the winter for 5-7 days, then being able to leave and come back to sunny, warm AZ.

bradl · Feb 2, 2015

dukebound85 said:
I am 29 and I have lived in Kansas, then to Nebraska to Georgia to Nebraska to Colorado to Oklahoma to Colorado to New York and back to Colorado.

Moving brings excitement. Do it

This brings up sort of a good point that hasn't been talked about: cost of living.

Depending on where the OP moves, there is bound to be a change in the cost of living. Fuel, groceries, transportation, housing, etc., will all vary in cost from one destination to the other. Prime example:

A 3000 square foot, 4 bed-3 bath house here in Sacramento, CA is going for roughly $475,000, while a 5 bed-5 bath, 3900 square foot house in Omaha, NE is going for $340,000.

Obviously population, population density, weather, and other factors will come to play here, but you get the picture. Depending on if the OP can afford it, cost of living will play a factor in where one can move.

BL.

anjinha · Feb 2, 2015

I've actually done two major moves in about a year and a half: from Lisbon Portugal to London, UK and then from London, UK to San Francisco CA.

My only problem with moving is that I miss all of the previous places I've lived in.

Have you made a major move/relocation?

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