June 11, 2003
NOTE FROM JEFF:
If you haven't seen
http://www.applemusic.com/
yet, you should go check it out. While the RIAA,
Kazaa and the courts haggle and waste time and
money over whether "stealing" music is "right" or not,
Apple has found "The Solution" (cue angelic chorus).
Download over 200,000 songs for 99 cents
apiece ($10 for a whole album). You can't use
that "I only want one song and don't want to pay
$15 for it" excuse anymore -- and the artists are
actually getting a cut. It's all legal!
The Top 8 Features of Apple's Online Music Store
8> Direct USB connection to your wallet.
7> After each download, Lars Ulrich pops up and says, "Thank
you! Your 99 cents has really helped to keep superstars
like me off the streets."
6> Madonna-finder tells which songs have the most nudity.
5> It only carries about 4% of available musicians, but their
songs are better than the crap that 96% of the public listens
to.
4> Discounted songs at "Dexy's Midnight Rummage Sale."
3> Constant line of trucks delivering all those pennies needed
to issue change.
2> Oddly, it only has two songs: "Tiny Bubbles" by Don Ho, and
"Why Does it Hurt When I Pee?" by Frank Zappa.
and the Number 1 Feature of Apple's Online Music Store...
1> One cent from each purchase goes into the "Kick Bill Gates in
the Nads" Fund.
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
[
http://www.topfive.com ]
