Make your very own Steven Seagal straight-to-DVD-movie by combining random selections from the sections below (or rolling a six-sided die):
Steven Seagal plays a:
1. cop/detective
2. streetwise hero
3. bounty hunter/mercenary
4. fisherman/cook
5. government agent
6. ex-special forces soldier
who assisted by:
1. a beautiful but deadly female assassin
2. a beautiful but sassy female nurse
3. a beautiful but dangerous female spy
4. a beautiful but cocky female journalist
5. a beautiful but bisexual set of female twins
6. a token black guy who will be killed pointlessly 20 minutes in to add gravitas to the movie
must:
1. rescue
2. kill
3. find
4. stop
5. destroy
6. avenge
his:
1. brother
2. best friend or old police/army buddy
3. best friend's child
4. wife
5. boss
6. neighbour
who has been:
1. raped
2. murdered
3. blackmailed
4. addicted to drugs
5. sold into slavery
6. kidnapped
by:
1. a drug-dealer
2. a seemingly respectable but corrupt businessman
3. an ex-military mastermind
4. a crooked cop
5. a gangster
6. a religious figure
who aims to:
1. steal millions of dollars
2. kill lots of people
3. destroy the environment
4. sell military secrets
5. bring down the government
6. spread a deadly virus
It really is that easy!
Steven Seagal plays a:
1. cop/detective
2. streetwise hero
3. bounty hunter/mercenary
4. fisherman/cook
5. government agent
6. ex-special forces soldier
who assisted by:
1. a beautiful but deadly female assassin
2. a beautiful but sassy female nurse
3. a beautiful but dangerous female spy
4. a beautiful but cocky female journalist
5. a beautiful but bisexual set of female twins
6. a token black guy who will be killed pointlessly 20 minutes in to add gravitas to the movie
must:
1. rescue
2. kill
3. find
4. stop
5. destroy
6. avenge
his:
1. brother
2. best friend or old police/army buddy
3. best friend's child
4. wife
5. boss
6. neighbour
who has been:
1. raped
2. murdered
3. blackmailed
4. addicted to drugs
5. sold into slavery
6. kidnapped
by:
1. a drug-dealer
2. a seemingly respectable but corrupt businessman
3. an ex-military mastermind
4. a crooked cop
5. a gangster
6. a religious figure
who aims to:
1. steal millions of dollars
2. kill lots of people
3. destroy the environment
4. sell military secrets
5. bring down the government
6. spread a deadly virus
It really is that easy!