Need Help with a Girl

cart16 · Oct 30, 2009, 06:58 PM

There is a girl that lives a few doors down who I really like and have known since we were like 4. I am now sophomore she is a junior and her little brother is a freshman in highschool. Until last year me and her little brother were best friends but since then our interests and personalities have changed and we are just friends, I am not going to call him to hang out any time soon type of friends. As my friendship with him has gone down the tubes his sister and I better friends than ever. In August she asked me to start running with her as she is the best Cross Country runner in our school and she felt like she needed some competition while she is training. Since then we have probably ran 5 times together as she was hurt for a month and they practice a lot so we don't have much of a window to run together. While running I have way too much fun talking to her and even forget that I am running. She is the popular type who all the guys want but are afraid to make a move on but I have been always one of her best guy friends. I am not so popular I have no social life in the summer because of golf taking up all day in the summer but during the school year I kinda get back in the swing.

Fast forward to this week the last time we ran together the tone was a bit different. We talked a lot about HS hockey and how I am pumped for the season to start as I am a player on the team. She is a big fan and was talking about she was way pumped and how she is thinking about joining the girls team alongside her usual figure skating. The grand finale figure skating show is like 6 months away and she asked me if was going to skate with her (as her partner) and I said yeah and that it is a long ways away. She also added that that show is the only reason she is on team. She asked me what I was doing this friday and I said I might be going to the local university hockey game and she said the she should go too.(didn't specify who with). Thursday I asked her if she wanted to go with me and another guy who she is also friends with and she said that she had plans with a friend, but that she was sorry.

Do you think we are progressing out of the friend zone and if not how can I get us moving more in possibility of dating mindset.

P.S. I have read these forums for a long time just never had to become a member.

eawmp1 · Oct 30, 2009, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cart16

Thursday I asked her if she wanted to go with me and another guy who she is also friends with and she said that she had plans with a friend, but that she was sorry.

If you are interested in moving past the just friends, you ask her somewhere, not with another friend.

rdowns · Oct 30, 2009, 07:07 PM

Very, very, very, very few ever escape the Friend Zone. Good luck.

eawmp1 · Oct 30, 2009, 07:09 PM

Particularly the friend male figure skater zone.

cart16 · Oct 30, 2009, 07:09 PM

Quote:

If you are interested in moving past the just friends, you ask her somewhere, not with another friend.

I am pretty sure she would be shocked if I asked her out right now and was hoping if you guys could give some advice on how to get her thinking about the idea of us dating without actually asking her. Plus the original plan did not her involved to go to the game.

eawmp1 · Oct 30, 2009, 07:16 PM

Enough of the games. Be honest, straightforward and ask her out.

I3eXa · Oct 30, 2009, 07:20 PM

PICT-ARS!!!!!

please

jav6454 · Oct 30, 2009, 07:22 PM

Unluckily, the Friend Zone is one of the places (like a black hole) where almost no one makes it out.

However, make your move man. Besides, what's the worse that could happen? She says no? Ok, she said no. Move on and find someone else. I am not trying to be all cold and all, but that's how dating works, finding that someone.

leomac08 · Oct 30, 2009, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cart16

I am pretty sure she would be shocked if I asked her out right now and was hoping if you guys could give some advice on how to get her thinking about the idea of us dating without actually asking her. Plus the original plan did not her involved to go to the game.

text her..........make her laugh.......facebook her.....smile

don't make it obvious.....don't be a stalker......

wait a couple months or year......

maybe she will like you first...

cart16 · Oct 30, 2009, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Unluckily, the Friend Zone is one of the places (like a black hole) where almost no one makes it out.

However, make your move man. Besides, what's the worse that could happen? She says no? Ok, she said no. Move on and find someone else. I am not trying to be all cold and all, but that's how dating works, finding that someone.

If I ask her out and she says no being friends again will be real awkward if we even continue to be friends.

t

Quote:

ext her..........make her laugh.......facebook her.....smile

don't make it obvious.....don't be a stalker......

wait a couple months or year......

maybe she will like you first...

Last year I was at her house with her brother while she was dating some other dud and her mom said that the guy she was dating back then didn't act like he liked until she started dropping hints so if she likes me she will probably let me know just not directly.

jav6454 · Oct 30, 2009, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cart16

If I ask her out and she says no being friends again will be real awkward if we even continue to be friends.

t

Yes, it'd be awkward (I never said it won't), but since you are her friend, you will move on (taking your time of coarse) and keep on being friends.

dmr727 · Oct 30, 2009, 07:36 PM

I'd try The Naked Man. It works 2 out of 3 times.

kellen · Oct 30, 2009, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dmr727

I'd try The Naked Man. It works 2 out of 3 times.

or the Ether bunny...

Seriously just ask her out. You sound young and need to get over doing it sometime. Plus the answer is always no until you ask.

Just see if she wants to do something with you, anything.

pukifloyd · Oct 30, 2009, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dmr727

I'd try The Naked Man. It works 2 out of 3 times.

+1

poor barney...

tristangage · Oct 30, 2009, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cart16

P.S. I have read these forums for a long time just never had to become a member.

You joined a Mac forum to ask advice on a girl?

eawmp1 · Oct 30, 2009, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tristangage

You joined a Mac forum to ask advice on a girl?

We's got guides:

heehee · Oct 30, 2009, 08:52 PM

Just ask her out. Don't think too much about the outcome, what if she says no and it'll become awkward stuff. The more you wait, the better chance she'll go out with someone else. Life is too short to think about what ifs...

scotty96LSC · Oct 30, 2009, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eawmp1

We's got guides:

OR see if she wants you to go Bra Shopping with her. (See other thread).

TheOnlyJon · Oct 30, 2009, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scotty96LSC

OR see if she wants you to go Bra Shopping with her. (See other thread).

+1 Internets to scotty.

Dagless · Oct 30, 2009, 10:30 PM

Why does nobody ever post a topic asking for help with grids or grills?

aristokrat · Oct 30, 2009, 11:13 PM

Or girders? Can't know too much about them.

bearbear · Oct 31, 2009, 12:43 AM

Like everyone said, you're in the friend zone. Not just the friend zone, but the "guy who has lived a couple doors down from me my entire life" friend zone.

You're right in that she needs to see you in a different light. A good way to go about this is to go begin to use her as a middle-man to set you up with her friends or just other girls in general. The entire time treat her the same as you always have as a friend and if you're lucky she'll take the bait. She'll maybe question why you're going after all of these other girls but not her and the next thing you know she's seeing you in a different light.

I've done this personally with success so maybe it will work for you. Good luck.

allisonv7 · Nov 1, 2009, 02:09 PM

For getting out of the "friend zone" I'd suggest asking her to go do something that isn't something or somewhere you would normally see or hang out with her. If she's seeing you in a completely different environment doing something you've never done with her before she may start to open up to you in a different way.

Pick a different restaurant across town or go see a speaker or something like that. You don't have to completely put yourself out there .... Just say "Hey, I was thinking about trying this...., would you want to come with?"

Just see what happens, if she turns you down once, try again, sometimes girls really do have plans, it's not always an excuse. Now if she turns you down twice, you may want to think about your options. And make it one-on-one, no friends allowed.

As far as the figure skating thing, if she brings it up say something about how it really takes a guy who's comfortable with himself to be able to do that, and you're willing to do it for her. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing that she asked you, it means she trusts you and feels like she can depend on you.

Tomorrow · Nov 1, 2009, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cart16

If I ask her out and she says no being friends again will be real awkward if we even continue to be friends.

Which is why it's so rare to ever get out of the "friend zone."

solusoracle · Nov 1, 2009, 03:04 PM

I've been hung up on girls for so long that actually asking them out becomes a problem as I've already become good friends with them. In fact, quite often I chicken out and haven't said a word.

My advice is that if you really like her more than just as a friend you should tell her. It is much better to know if she likes you too than to ALWAYS be wondering the rest of your life.

If you were good enough friends before you ask, and the feeling is not reciprocated, things will be awkward for a while but improve with time. After a while, things may be as they were before and you'll feel like a weight has been lifted. If she turns you down and avoids you and is no longer friendly towards you, then you really just were not that good friends to start with.

If she feels the same then Woohoo! You are going out with a really good friend.

Oct 30, 2009, 06:58 PM	#1
cart16 macrumors newbie Join Date: Oct 2009	Need Help with a Girl There is a girl that lives a few doors down who I really like and have known since we were like 4. I am now sophomore she is a junior and her little brother is a freshman in highschool. Until last year me and her little brother were best friends but since then our interests and personalities have changed and we are just friends, I am not going to call him to hang out any time soon type of friends. As my friendship with him has gone down the tubes his sister and I better friends than ever. In August she asked me to start running with her as she is the best Cross Country runner in our school and she felt like she needed some competition while she is training. Since then we have probably ran 5 times together as she was hurt for a month and they practice a lot so we don't have much of a window to run together. While running I have way too much fun talking to her and even forget that I am running. She is the popular type who all the guys want but are afraid to make a move on but I have been always one of her best guy friends. I am not so popular I have no social life in the summer because of golf taking up all day in the summer but during the school year I kinda get back in the swing. Fast forward to this week the last time we ran together the tone was a bit different. We talked a lot about HS hockey and how I am pumped for the season to start as I am a player on the team. She is a big fan and was talking about she was way pumped and how she is thinking about joining the girls team alongside her usual figure skating. The grand finale figure skating show is like 6 months away and she asked me if was going to skate with her (as her partner) and I said yeah and that it is a long ways away. She also added that that show is the only reason she is on team. She asked me what I was doing this friday and I said I might be going to the local university hockey game and she said the she should go too.(didn't specify who with). Thursday I asked her if she wanted to go with me and another guy who she is also friends with and she said that she had plans with a friend, but that she was sorry. Do you think we are progressing out of the friend zone and if not how can I get us moving more in possibility of dating mindset. P.S. I have read these forums for a long time just never had to become a member.

Oct 30, 2009, 07:20 PM	#7
I3eXa macrumors regular Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: IdaPIMP	PICT-ARS!!!!! please __________________ 2.4GHz. C2D Penryn 13in macbook 4GB RAM 20" iMac 2.16GHz. C2D 3GB RAM 12" PowerBook 1GHz. 1.25GB RAM 80GB iPod classic, 8GB Nano, & 2- 8GB iPhones

Oct 30, 2009, 07:22 PM	#8
jav6454 macrumors 601 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Ontario, CA \| Metairie, LA \| San Pedro Sula, Honduras	Unluckily, the Friend Zone is one of the places (like a black hole) where almost no one makes it out. However, make your move man. Besides, what's the worse that could happen? She says no? Ok, she said no. Move on and find someone else. I am not trying to be all cold and all, but that's how dating works, finding that someone. __________________ Collector's Edition Al MacBook 2.4GHz \| 1st Gen iPhone 8GB \| iPhone 3G S⃣ 32GB New to iPhone World? Click Me On a search? MRoogle

Oct 30, 2009, 08:52 PM	#17
heehee macrumors 65816 Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Same country as Santa Claus	Just ask her out. Don't think too much about the outcome, what if she says no and it'll become awkward stuff. The more you wait, the better chance she'll go out with someone else. Life is too short to think about what ifs... __________________ 15" MBP C2D \| 20" ACD \| iPhone 3G

Oct 30, 2009, 10:30 PM	#20
Dagless macrumors 604 Join Date: Jan 2005	Why does nobody ever post a topic asking for help with grids or grills? __________________ Maybe if everyone who'd ever been close to you had died, you'd be sarcastic, too.

Oct 30, 2009, 07:07 PM	#3
rdowns macrumors Demi-God Join Date: Jul 2003	Very, very, very, very few ever escape the Friend Zone. Good luck.

Oct 30, 2009, 07:09 PM	#4
eawmp1 macrumors 65816 Join Date: Feb 2008	Particularly the friend male figure skater zone.

Oct 30, 2009, 07:16 PM	#6
eawmp1 macrumors 65816 Join Date: Feb 2008	Enough of the games. Be honest, straightforward and ask her out.

Oct 30, 2009, 07:36 PM	#12
dmr727 macrumors 601 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Southern California	I'd try The Naked Man. It works 2 out of 3 times.

Oct 30, 2009, 11:13 PM	#21
aristokrat macrumors member Join Date: Apr 2007	Or girders? Can't know too much about them.

Oct 31, 2009, 12:43 AM	#22
bearbear macrumors member Join Date: Jun 2008	Like everyone said, you're in the friend zone. Not just the friend zone, but the "guy who has lived a couple doors down from me my entire life" friend zone. You're right in that she needs to see you in a different light. A good way to go about this is to go begin to use her as a middle-man to set you up with her friends or just other girls in general. The entire time treat her the same as you always have as a friend and if you're lucky she'll take the bait. She'll maybe question why you're going after all of these other girls but not her and the next thing you know she's seeing you in a different light. I've done this personally with success so maybe it will work for you. Good luck.

Nov 1, 2009, 02:09 PM	#23
allisonv7 macrumors 6502 Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Indy	For getting out of the "friend zone" I'd suggest asking her to go do something that isn't something or somewhere you would normally see or hang out with her. If she's seeing you in a completely different environment doing something you've never done with her before she may start to open up to you in a different way. Pick a different restaurant across town or go see a speaker or something like that. You don't have to completely put yourself out there .... Just say "Hey, I was thinking about trying this...., would you want to come with?" Just see what happens, if she turns you down once, try again, sometimes girls really do have plans, it's not always an excuse. Now if she turns you down twice, you may want to think about your options. And make it one-on-one, no friends allowed. As far as the figure skating thing, if she brings it up say something about how it really takes a guy who's comfortable with himself to be able to do that, and you're willing to do it for her. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing that she asked you, it means she trusts you and feels like she can depend on you. __________________ • imac intel core 2 duo \| 2.0ghz \| 1GB \| 160GB • macbook intel core 2 duo \| 1.83GHz \| 512MB \| 60GB • ipod nano \| silver \| 2GB • ipod \| 20GB \| 4G

Nov 1, 2009, 03:04 PM	#25
solusoracle macrumors member Join Date: Sep 2007	I've been hung up on girls for so long that actually asking them out becomes a problem as I've already become good friends with them. In fact, quite often I chicken out and haven't said a word. My advice is that if you really like her more than just as a friend you should tell her. It is much better to know if she likes you too than to ALWAYS be wondering the rest of your life. If you were good enough friends before you ask, and the feeling is not reciprocated, things will be awkward for a while but improve with time. After a while, things may be as they were before and you'll feel like a weight has been lifted. If she turns you down and avoids you and is no longer friendly towards you, then you really just were not that good friends to start with. If she feels the same then Woohoo! You are going out with a really good friend.

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