As many of you assumed, this is actually a personal issue i am going through at the moment.
We were best friends for 6 years (22 now). My go to person for everything. Helped me through my previous relationships (she wanted to date but didn't see her in that way at first). Ended up dating, but she was never able to get over the resentment towards me for picking my ex over her. Broke up a couple times in a span of three years but always got back together. Now she found someone else. Killed me so did went no contact for 5 months. Started talking to her because the void (either as a friend or relationship, can't tell yet) was driving me insane. But ironically, i resent her now because she was with other guys when i assumed (she uses Ross's excuse of...) we were on a break but still exclusive (happened twice now :X)
Now after talking to her the past few days and hanging out with her, im left feeling very similar to doing drugs. A high when with her, then a low when im not with her (from the realization that the relationship is a very large shell of not only from when we dated but even when we were just friends).
So in this confused, reflective state atm. Ultimately it will be up to me, which i understand. Just wanted some opinions.
Originally didn't want to go too in depth but meh, its the internet so fug it. I consider MR my family anyways
Currently im leaning towards the fence of just talking to her through text and maybe via phone calls when I need her but not meeting up with her. I want her in my life, thats a given, but seeing her at the moment def puts me in a wrong state of mind. Plus, it hits my self esteem in a way where I feel as though Im a safety blanket to her, someone who keeps her company at home (her BF lives in chi town I think. Didnt want to ask).