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Old Nov 2, 2012, 03:33 AM   #26
Happybunny
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After my first wife died of cancer, I had a bit of trouble staying focused with life. But both family and good friends pulled me through, they did not take the pain of loss away, but they did show me a reason to carry on.

The only advice I can truly give, is what ever you do don't be afraid to ask for help, it does not make you less of a person.
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Old Nov 2, 2012, 05:53 AM   #27
Andeavor
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Whenever I feel "stuck" mentally, I go for a walk in the woods, and sometimes to the center of town people watching. That usually clears out my head and puts me in a better mood. My problems will still be there when I get home but my viewpoint might have changed and I can deal with the issue better.
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Old Nov 3, 2012, 01:24 AM   #28
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What a great thread. I really appreciate everyone's responses, and OP for not being afraid to ask.

I saw a doc about depression a couple of years ago and took meds for a year. I started to feel better, but I'm not sure if it was because of the meds or just the passing of time. One day I decided to stop taking them and I didn't notice any change in the way I felt. Haven't taken them since.

But I work at a pharmacy, and I've had patients also taking Wellbutrin tell me that if they miss one dose they go haywire. I missed doses all the time and never felt any different, which led me to believe that maybe it's all in your head, you know?

I agree that you might have to come to terms with feeling bad- for now. As you probably know by now, there's not a switch to flip to magically make you feel better, so you just have to exist/persist, and one day you'll realize that you don't feel so bad after all. Time really does fix everything. I agree that MDMA could help but that's impractical for someone without connections, and I wouldn't suggest that to anyone without prior drug experience.

Go for walks. Ponder life, ESPECIALLY the beautiful things in life: look at the stars, realize that humans suck but we're also amazing. Have meaningful conversations with family and friends, hell, even strangers. If you are a smoker, I strongly suggest trying to quit. Smoking made me feel awful inside- being addicted to something made me feel powerless over my own life. It may seem impossible to do at first, but I promise, if you persevere, your brain will literally re-wire and you will not desire cigarettes anymore. I totally agree with the comedy suggestion- comedy makes me feel great, even if only temporarily.

Finally, do not be afraid to seek professional help. It took me a longgg time to finally say, "aww what the hell, what do I have to lose" and I'm glad I did.
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Old Nov 3, 2012, 09:16 AM   #29
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If there is a specific issue that's getting you down, and there is no easy way of getting closure, then time is the only thing that helps numb it.

In the meantime though I found that the following helped:

-Surrounding myself with family/friends. I tried not being alone too much.
-Exercised daily. Really pushed myself.
-Ate good food. Mostly comfort food, but if I felt like eating out then I'd grab someone and go get a steak or something.
-Watched a lot of movies.

At first the above was just meant to distract me, but I still do the above now that the issue has been resolved.
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Old Nov 3, 2012, 10:57 AM   #30
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Exercise, moving my body around, either physically working or hiking, biking, etc. It's not a panacea, but it's a good place to start. I find if I feel better physically, I am less likely to get depressed or mopey.
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Old Nov 3, 2012, 11:10 AM   #31
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Given that nobody has mention faith on here is not surprising. For me science is may faith and I look for it for answers to the worst problems in my life. Although science does not help you at a human level it does give you a greater perspective to the true meaning of life and what you can get out of it, or from my stand point what you can give. To give is the most important aspect of living as if you live you life selfishly opposed to selflessly you are a negative burden and will eventually be forgotten to a point where you would never have existed at all. In effect a pointless life, a life not worth living.

To answer the op's question, scientifically speaking we are just atoms, a body of chemicals interacting with each other to give us thoughts, feelings, emotions, love. Love is just a basic human instinct, it is something we humans need to exist but it does not have impact externally on its own. It is how we can become selfless, to give, to improve, to have external positive effects from our humble selfish body. In effect filtering the flow of atoms and helping to improve every human being to come, to create a better world.

What is the point if we are selfish and only look upon ourselves. We will then be doomed to dust a fitting reaction from what was. So to live selflessly might not make yourself feel better but it will have a positive effect around you. It does not matter what you are doing or who you are, as long as you are selfless you will know you will never be forgotten and never missed. The more selfless act's there are the greater the effect and the eventually returning upon the one who has given.

Just think about it and what you can do. You only live once, they may be more fulfilling ways to satisfy yourself on here but don't forget what you will eventually become...just think what might become of you!
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Old Nov 3, 2012, 11:20 AM   #32
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Old Nov 3, 2012, 11:33 AM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4JNA View Post
running. always running. makes tough times easier and everything else better.
This; and anything else productive you can do to put your mind on something else. Also, writing down thoughts and feelings helps me cope when I feel depressed...that or a long drive. Music is also a great way to cheer your self up.
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Old Nov 3, 2012, 12:17 PM   #34
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Animals cannot give consent. You should have found another woman.
If you read the rest of his quote, you'll find he did...
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Old Nov 3, 2012, 05:12 PM   #35
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Lots of good stuff here.

Going by past experiences, I wouldnt try to blanket my sorrows/worries/sadness, instead I would try to accept them and move on. Its obviously something that wont go away overnight, and there will definitely be nights that are rougher than others, but eventually, it goes away. I had a heavy heart break years ago, and went on an eating and drinking craze for 3 months. I ended up waking up one day and saying, "you know what, you are better than this," and that was it. Obviously people take pain and heartbreak tougher than others, but those blanket solutions just temporarily mask the problem IMO, and they just end up coming back worse. Man, heartache sucks lol.
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Old Nov 3, 2012, 07:06 PM   #36
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Personally I use alcohol to numb the pain (infact I've had a lot to drink this evening). My particular pain was caused by professionals. That's why I can't talk to them. As for faith, I used to be a Christian before my particular pain. I don't have many friends left except for alcohol. It's the only thing that works for me. Because I have a family I can only drink when there not around. About once a week. But I find I look forward to this time more and more. I hope none of you end up in the place I'm at through no fault of your own. I would strongly advise against seeking professional help for anybody with children. They will only use it against you (the professionals not the children).
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