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Old May 29, 2013, 03:13 PM   #51
DaKKs
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My wife and i had one between 2 continents and 9 time zones for 10 years we worked it out. Will have one again with a 12 hour time difference when i move to singapore in july until she follows in december.
Hats off to you, pal. I couldn't work it out with my gf and we were only a fraction of that distance from each other. Manchester, UK and Stockholm, Sweden.
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Old May 29, 2013, 03:16 PM   #52
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When I met my other half he was in California, I was in the UK, it was very hard not seeing him but we are very happy now and appreciate what we went through has helped us in our relationship in the long run.

We met and had a long distance relationship for 3 years, have been living together for 2 years now and have a beautiful daughter and twins in the oven.
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Old May 29, 2013, 03:28 PM   #53
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My best friend broke up with her BF because they live in two different cities, about 3-hour long journey by train. Is there similar story around you? Do u think long-distance relationship can not last for long?
When I meet my wife she lived here (Germany) and I lived in NY. I got to play war for a year or so, so she was here and I was in Afghanistan. Then I changed duty locations to Hawaii and she was still here. I went played war some more got hurt and saw her when I got evacuated to Germany. I got back to Hawaii she came to visit we got married and she got pregnant. She came back to Germany to wrap things up here and come back there and had troubles and had to stay here…I came over here and got permission to stay until my daughter was born then went back to Hawaii. I got out some months later and came here. We lived together from 06 until spring of '08 when I had to go back to the states for 8 or so months. in '09 I took my current job which is 180KM from home, I stay here M-F and go home on the weekends.

Are long distance relationship hard? Yes Can they work? Yes Would I wish them on anyone? No
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Old May 29, 2013, 04:07 PM   #54
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I feel it depends on what stage they are in life. If they are young and in college I don't think it will end up working, if older and have a steady job I think it could end up working.
This sums up my feelings on it too. If in doubt tho just try it and see what happens.
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Old May 29, 2013, 05:18 PM   #55
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Difficult at best

Its hard enough when you live five minutes apart....add three hours by train and you are setting yourself up. 160,000,000 women in the US...find another.
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Old May 29, 2013, 05:36 PM   #56
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I swore I wouldn't do a long distance relationship, but I ended up doing it anyways.

Sometimes things just work out that way. She lives in Korea, and I live in Canada. 16 hour time difference, 17 when you factor in DST, but we talk everyday and as hard as it is we both feel it's worth it.

We only get to see each other for a couple weeks at a time during a year, but like I said, it's worth it.

So much so that I asked her to marry me just a couple weeks ago while she was visiting.

If being apart while we were just dating was hard, you can imagine what it's like when you're engaged.

Anyways, the wedding is set for next June in Korea. Add to that the paperwork and immigration stuff (she will be moving here) and yes it's a lot of work, but in the end if it's the right person... it's totally worth it.
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Old Jun 8, 2013, 11:59 PM   #57
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I had a long distance relationship for 2 years but we find out the way to stay together, we just start our new blog

http://mytanfeet.com/about-me/
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Old Jun 9, 2013, 01:48 AM   #58
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Been there, done that. Did not work out for me. Really depends on the stage of the relationship and if "the end of the LDR is in sight".
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Old Jun 9, 2013, 07:00 AM   #59
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I think in a LDR you're not seeing the person in different situations, like what they're like around your family, in the morning and the evening if that makes sense?

Someone could fake themselves face to face as well though? What are your thoughts? I think it's possible for someone to fake themselves face to face as well though.

A relationship is spending time together, seeing each other...getting to know each other in PERSON..not on the phone, text or email. I would NEVER do the long distance thing again. As someone mentioned earlier..there needs to be a lot of commitment on both sides and there has to be an end date.

I can't afford to travel all the time and only have so much time I can take off, so in my situation a long distance relationship is not convenient. And someone mentioned 'open relationship'..well, to me..why bother? That's another thing...I really love the physical part of the relationship, not only the sex...but cuddling, hugs...and when the major form of communication is skype or telephone...where is the touching?

There's a lot that gets missed on Skype (if you do Skype), and 1 or 2 hours a day of "I'm happy/you're happy" talk is not real life. Only when people live in the vicinity does real life set in, and then you can tell if you're suited to one another. Which is not to say there aren't people who have decided to have a go at a relationship that started long distance. There are, but you have to be very open-minded and patient once you finally are in real time with the person, because you're going to find out things you didn't on the all-sweet-all-the-time talk on Skype and e-mail.

Sure you can develop feelings based on talking and emailing. But you have to allow for the fact that your pen pal is a still complete stranger. There is no way to predict chemistry, or how you will feel upon meeting. Did you ever meet someone that was 'on paper' perfect for you, yet there was just something you could not vocalize that felt wrong? How do you judge their social interactions, familial relationships, work ethic or even their smell when you just chat online? There are just too many unknowns for your feelings to be real.

This is my take on it.
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Old Jun 9, 2013, 08:35 AM   #60
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Originally Posted by sunnysweet View Post
My best friend broke up with her BF because they live in two different cities, about 3-hour long journey by train. Is there similar story around you? Do u think long-distance relationship can not last for long?

Friendships come and go, and usually go not for things like distance, but rather the friendship is simply over. I have several friends 700 miles away and we talk almost daily. Going out soon to visit.
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Old Jun 12, 2013, 02:17 AM   #61
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It's hard to maintain a long distance relationship. It's very rare for such a relationship to last.
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Old Jun 12, 2013, 10:39 PM   #62
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I think it's depend on not only which stage of the relationship, but more importantly, what kind people are those two love birds. Most young people's temptation-resisting level are pretty low.
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Old Jun 17, 2013, 03:00 AM   #63
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I think it's depend on not only which stage of the relationship, but more importantly, what kind people are those two love birds. Most young people's temptation-resisting level are pretty low.
In general, it differes from man to man, right?
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Old Dec 8, 2013, 07:05 AM   #64
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I think that it does depend on the age of the people, the stage of their life and what sort of people they are. I was engaged when I was at University. My fiancé was a two and a half hour journey by train. In the end though it didn't work out but it was more because I had grown up a lot and had changed from the person I was at seventeen. The distance wasn't the problem so much as our age gap. In my opinion, with a LDR it is more important that both people are committed to the relationship. It is easier to be on your best behaviour if you do not see each other very often so it is more important that communication is honest and good. Good luck to anyone who tries, I take my hat off to them.
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Old Dec 8, 2013, 05:56 PM   #65
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they can work

I was in one for a couple of years. You can make it work. We tried, ultimately his insecurity of my many male friends in the extreme metal scene proved to be the breaking point. So we functioned pretty normal for a long distance couple at that time.

I'd try it again with another man.

My former best friend was in a long distance relationship and she and her beau got married a couple of years later (he lives with her now.) They're still together 15 years later.
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Old Dec 10, 2013, 08:16 PM   #66
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firm trust for each other is a necessary basis for long distance relationship I think.
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Old Dec 11, 2013, 01:29 AM   #67
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Very hard for them to work, i find. You can be friends long distance, but nothing more.
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Old Dec 11, 2013, 02:50 AM   #68
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Very hard for them to work, i find. You can be friends long distance, but nothing more.
I wouldn't say that. My girlfriend and I are 300 miles apart, we're coping. It's certainly helped by seeing each other once a month. You need to have a definite date in mind for when you'll be together long term though.
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Old Dec 11, 2013, 03:03 AM   #69
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From personal experience, long distance relationships can work, however it depends on the security and maturity of the people on the 2 ends.

I have been in several long distance relationships, although they've been relationships which are like at best 2 hour drives, which isn't that far really.

In one of them which I would say was probably the worse one I was in, I was a lot younger and she was a lot younger and more immature than me, I would stay at her house for a week or so. Keep in mind this was several years ago, but I had serious insecurity issues, so despite staying at her house, it still didn't work and it ended up in a mess and an experience I learned a lot from though.

The others worked out for a bit, but in the end the distance killed it all. Like I said before, it all comes down to the level of security and maturity both ends are on. If they're secure and mature people they can make it work.

As a grown up adult now, I prefer short distance relationships though, but that has it's pros and cons too.

Now I just try and keep it at short distance. No need to burn my head seeking long distance when there's good females around you.
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Old Dec 11, 2013, 04:36 AM   #70
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Tried it. It didn't work out. We should have ended it before she had to move back to Spain.

Can't blame people for trying though. If it works for you then I guess that is a good thing.
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Old Jan 10, 2014, 07:06 AM   #71
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Had I been asked a few years ago I would've said no. I've been in a LDR for over two years. I'm in England and she is in Germany.
We manage to see each other about 4 months of the year. This is due to me being self employed and in a position to have time off when needed. She is a student in the last year of university.
Our relationship was the result of some coincidences and in many ways having a relationship fell in to place. At first I was hesitant to say the least. Do I wish that we were together everyday, of course I do. The time we spend together is precious and if we didn't feel so strongly about each other then it just wouldn't work.
We are both quite young at 23 but we feel it can work. I don't think that they are for everyone it's very hard at times but being together and the experiences that we have shared completely dwarf the distance.
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Old Jan 10, 2014, 07:10 AM   #72
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Its possible but difficult.

My sister and her boyfriend were able to swing the relationship, of course they had a good relationship before be moved, and were able to manage it while he was away.

I had great difficulty managing one and found it best to break it off, for that (and other reasons).

Relationships are complicated and adding more complications makes it more difficult but not impossible but if you meet someone special and can navigate through the rough waters of distance then it will work
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