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Old Feb 7, 2015, 07:09 PM   #451
JamesMike
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An Irshman walks out of a bar. No really!
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Old Feb 8, 2015, 01:49 PM   #452
FieldingMellish
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Why do gorillas have big nostrils?


Because they have big fingers.
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Old Mar 17, 2015, 12:26 PM   #453
Doctor Q
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Corny math joke

What do you get if you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Answer: Nothing. You canít cross a scalar with a vector!
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Oh do pay attention 007. In the wrong hands, this cylindrical 12-core Mac Pro with three 4K displays, FirePro graphics, and Thunderbolt 2 could be very dangerous.
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Old Mar 23, 2015, 10:33 PM   #454
Traverse
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"What's brown and sticky?"
"A stick"
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Now I look back upon past strife, to those who hate but gave me life. I hope they too can one day see, just how great this life can be.
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Old Mar 26, 2015, 06:47 AM   #455
A.Goldberg
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For people who work in the medical field or is diabetic...

Pickup line:
Are you a BD Pen Needle? Cause you Ultra-Fine.

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rMBP 13" i5/2.4GHz/8GB RAM/256GB SSD
MacPro Quad 2.8GHz + 23" ACD HD
PowerMac G5 1.8GHz DP + 20" ACD
iPhone 6 32GB + VZW | iPad Air 32GB + VZW
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Old Mar 31, 2015, 01:22 PM   #456
obeygiant
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4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed.

2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects.
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Old Mar 31, 2015, 09:55 PM   #457
obeygiant
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You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes...





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Old Apr 6, 2015, 05:12 PM   #458
eko91
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Cheesy!!

1. Are you a magician?
Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!

2. Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.
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Old Apr 6, 2015, 08:07 PM   #459
Doctor Q
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Don't anthropomorphize computers. They don't like it!
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Oh do pay attention 007. In the wrong hands, this cylindrical 12-core Mac Pro with three 4K displays, FirePro graphics, and Thunderbolt 2 could be very dangerous.
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Old Apr 9, 2015, 03:55 PM   #460
nj-morris
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Here are a few I found on http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/page/1

what did the lawyer say to the other lawer?
we are both lawyers

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck.

How do you get a clown off of a swing?
Hit him with an axe

Doctor, Doctor. I feel like a pair of curtains!
That's the least of your problems. You've got AIDS.

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk.
The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

what do you call a grammatically incorrect horse?
An horse

What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies?
When I see a Porsche on the street, I think to myself, "that's a nice car," but when I see a pile of dead babies on the street I scream, "OH DEAR GOD WHY?!?! WHY?!?! WHERE IS THE MONSTER THAT KILLED THESE POOR BABIES?!?!" I then quickly alert the authorities of the hideous crime before vomiting profusely and crying until my tear ducts run dry. I sustain irreversible psychological damage and the image of hundreds of cruelly murdered infants prevents me from sleeping at night.

Bob: Hey Jim, if you were a caveman, you would die.
Jim: Why?
Bob: Cause everybody dies.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Boo."
"I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away."
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