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Old May 9, 2011, 04:25 AM   #1
furious
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Help writing letter to a friend who is moving away.

My closest friend is moving about 8 hours away. I have decided that part of my, i guess you could say grieving process, is to write her a letter. Below is my first draft. Please read it and provide me with any advice you might have.

Quote:
I am so grateful that we developed a close friendship.

It was a real privilege for me to be able to see the person in side your shell. It is a beautiful shell by the way, but, the person in side is more beautiful.

I can’t believe it’s time for you to leave already. I know I’ll never forget you or the times we spent together. It seems like we have shared so much and you have given me more than I could ever ask for. From the nicknames you gave me the adventures we went on together and the in jokes we shared.

I loved getting your hugs.

Thanks for helping me whenever I had a problem you give out a good advice.

I hope you will find your what you are looking for in your next adventure on the CC. I will miss our get togethers and your sense of fun and humor. I will mostly miss the way you made me feel. I cannot explain it any better than you made me feel like I was wanted and that you cared about me. It meant a lot to me and I hope you felt the same and it meant lot to you too.

****! I hate being so sensitive. I have been through this so many times and it does not get any easier to say goodbye to someone you care about. I will treasure our moments we shared.

Love you tons and tons XXOO
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Old May 9, 2011, 04:28 AM   #2
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Hard to give advice on something like this...!

So long as it's from the heart, I'm sure your friend will really appreciate it.
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Old May 9, 2011, 04:30 AM   #3
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Thanks, I know it is hard to give advice on something like this.
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Old May 9, 2011, 07:09 AM   #4
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It's very sweet. I would be honored to get a letter like this from a friend.
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Old May 9, 2011, 08:30 AM   #5
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Don't be disappointed if she hasn't written you a letter! Best case scenario would be a card from her saying "Goodbye" and inside was a condom..
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Old May 9, 2011, 10:34 AM   #6
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Go with first draft on this. It's from the heart.
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Old May 9, 2011, 12:54 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iSaint View Post
Go with first draft on this. It's from the heart.
Agreed, you don't want to accidentally edit out the emotion!

The only thing I might say is that you may want to make it sound a little less like you will never see each other again. Perhaps say something about coming to visit and staying in touch! Don't take anything out, just add that at the end.
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Old May 9, 2011, 02:08 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iSaint View Post
Go with first draft on this. It's from the heart.

THIS!

The last thing you need are the suggestions of a bunch of Internet geeks.
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Old May 9, 2011, 02:16 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by rdowns View Post
The last thing you need are the suggestions of a bunch of Internet geeks.
How true.

But since you asked...

1. I agree that you shouldn't make it sound like you'll never see her again. It's 8 hours (by car or plane?)

2. "I've been through this so many times..."? That's unfortunate you've had to let so many friends go.

3. I've always been more of a tell it to their face type - get her a nice card or something, but make sure you tell her this before she leaves, not give her the letter to open on the way. Or, for that matter, open in front of you. You should be able to talk to her about this if she's that close to you.
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Old May 9, 2011, 02:57 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by emw View Post

3. I've always been more of a tell it to their face type - get her a nice card or something, but make sure you tell her this before she leaves, not give her the letter to open on the way. Or, for that matter, open in front of you. You should be able to talk to her about this if she's that close to you.
I will tell her as well as hand the letter to her. The letter was a way of structuring my emotions as it is most likely we will never see each other again.
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Old May 9, 2011, 03:20 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by furious View Post
I will tell her as well as hand the letter to her. The letter was a way of structuring my emotions as it is most likely we will never see each other again.
There must be more to this story than just a friend moving away, for you to talk about never seeing her again. Normally, good friends stay in touch, write, phone, Facebook, whatever… visit from time to time. Whatever happened here, I can hear the pain in your letter, and I feel for you mate. It's never easy.
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Old May 9, 2011, 03:37 PM   #12
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Maybe throw in this Yeats poem that Kramer wrote in a birthday card to Elaine.
From: Seinfeld: "THE DEAL"

Elaine: (Reading card)
Think where man's glory most begins and ends
And say my glory was I had such a friend.


Kramer: (To Jerry) Yates.

Elaine: Oh Kramer! (They embrace)
I've used that junk on a few of my female friends since I first saw that episode.
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Old May 10, 2011, 12:22 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by kalsta View Post
There must be more to this story than just a friend moving away, for you to talk about never seeing her again. Normally, good friends stay in touch, write, phone, Facebook, whatever… visit from time to time. Whatever happened here, I can hear the pain in your letter, and I feel for you mate. It's never easy.
You are right. I have been given some advice that writing a letter is often a good way of getting over a lose and grief in general. It is helping. It does not dull the pain though.
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Old May 10, 2011, 12:29 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by RawBert View Post
Maybe throw in this Yeats poem that Kramer wrote in a birthday card to Elaine.
From: Seinfeld: "THE DEAL"

Elaine: (Reading card)
Think where man's glory most begins and ends
And say my glory was I had such a friend.


Kramer: (To Jerry) Yates.

Elaine: Oh Kramer! (They embrace)
I've used that junk on a few of my female friends since I first saw that episode.
I will think about it thanks.
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Old May 10, 2011, 04:01 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by Kilamite View Post
Don't be disappointed if she hasn't written you a letter! Best case scenario would be a card from her saying "Goodbye" and inside was a condom..
I know she will not write me a letter or even give me a card. I am writing this letter to her simply to help me through the process of getting over her.
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Old May 10, 2011, 05:44 AM   #16
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Is she more than just a friend to you? Like, are you in love with her..?
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Old May 10, 2011, 07:07 AM   #17
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It is complex. I would not say love as in romantic love.

I think I just have more invested or our friendship means more to me than it does for her. To put it simply she helped me put my life back on track.
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Old May 13, 2011, 02:04 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by furious View Post
It is complex. I would not say love as in romantic love.

I think I just have more invested or our friendship means more to me than it does for her. To put it simply she helped me put my life back on track.
It sounds like you have a deep emotional connection to this person. Writing your letter is a really great idea, and your words, I can tell, are from the heart and very meaningful. I would change very little. Believe it or not, actually READING your words will get the message across far better than just saying them. Trust me, they will have a lasting effect, unless she is a particularly superficial individual.....doesn't sound like it if she had the sensitivity/ability to help you in a difficult time.

Maybe you should try keeping in contact with someone who is obviously so important to you. I left my country of birth (South Africa), many years ago and still maintain friendships with a few people that were close to me growing up.
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Old May 13, 2011, 04:29 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by laurenr View Post
It sounds like you have a deep emotional connection to this person. Writing your letter is a really great idea, and your words, I can tell, are from the heart and very meaningful. I would change very little. Believe it or not, actually READING your words will get the message across far better than just saying them. Trust me, they will have a lasting effect, unless she is a particularly superficial individual.....doesn't sound like it if she had the sensitivity/ability to help you in a difficult time.

Maybe you should try keeping in contact with someone who is obviously so important to you. I left my country of birth (South Africa), many years ago and still maintain friendships with a few people that were close to me growing up.
Thank you. I gave her the letter yesterday.

For me writing the letter was a way to say goodbye and also for my own mental health. Writing the letter was a form of therapy for me.

I am still up set that she is leaving but i have accepted it and am slowing moving on.
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