Become a MacRumors Supporter for $50/year with no ads, ability to filter front page stories, and private forums.

glocke12

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Jan 7, 2008
999
6
Nice gesture on her part for sure..didn't really have any plans that day (my family members are either deceased or live far away) until later that evening when Im getting together with friends. The meal is at her place at noon with her parents and some of her friends from outside of work.

Not really sure if I am going or not, since I really like to keep my work and personal life separate, but she is pretty insistent, extending a verbal invitation as well as an email invitation.

Thoughts on this? I'd like to graciously decline but don't want to offend her at the same time, and in this day and age of good jobs being hard to come by, and given my "advanced age" of 45 I figure I need all the brownie points I can get.

Also, should I go, does anyone have a wine recommendation? The meal is going to be a prime rib roast..all I know is that means red wine...Since she is a wine person Id like to make a good choice...my budget for that would probably be around $40-$50.

thanks in advance.
 

jeremy h

macrumors 6502
Jul 9, 2008
491
267
UK
Wow... Don't envy you this one. Makes Christmas with the inlaws sound almost fun! ;)

If you do go ... I always think wine is a compete minefield - (particularly expensive wine) so if I was in your position I'd buy an expensive (aka decent) bottle of champagne and suggest you have it just before lunch. (She'll have probably already thought the lunch wines through). I've only ever known one person (who drinks) who doesn't like champagne. Everyone else's eyes seem to light up when they're offered a bottle. It a real treat.
 

glocke12

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Jan 7, 2008
999
6
Wow... Don't envy you this one. Makes Christmas with the inlaws sound almost fun! ;)


ugh...i hear that.
her father who will be there is a WWII vet who served in the pacific, and apparently has some good stories to tell, so it could be worth going just for that.

If you do go ... I always think wine is a compete minefield - (particularly expensive wine) so if I was in your position I'd buy an expensive (aka decent) bottle of champagne and suggest you have it just before lunch. I've only ever known one person (who drinks) who doesn't like champagne. Everyone else's eyes seem to light up when they're offered a bottle. It a real treat.

thats not a bad idea...but I also know next to nothing about champagne. suggestions??
 

leighonigar

macrumors 6502a
May 5, 2007
908
1
I'm not sure there's an easy way out of this one if she knows you don't have other plans. Presumably you get on. Personally I'd be humbled and go.

I don't know where you're from, or what the conventions of your/her social group are (prime rib roast would be bizarre where I come from... are you in the southern hemisphere??). That said, if it was me I'd try and make an inexpensive but cheery gesture as well as the wine, for example, a nice plant or some mice pies (made myself). I'd probably get some wine too. In the UK, also as a wine novice, I'd probably head to Marks and Spencer for a suitably mainstream but respectable bottle, probably basing my decision on - price, look, whatever awards its got. That said, $40-50 is quite a lot of money, which suggests you're thinking of something serious?

A decent branded champagne surely can't offend. Again, I've no idea where you are or what's available in your region.

Good luck!
 

jeremy h

macrumors 6502
Jul 9, 2008
491
267
UK
ugh...i hear that.
her father who will be there is a WWII vet who served in the pacific, and apparently has some good stories to tell, so it could be worth going just for that.

Actually, in that case - I'd quite like to come... :D

I'm more of a real ale man (I can offer advice on that but everybody - including Veteran Dad - would be paralytic by 3pm - so it could wind up as a career ending lunch.)

I normally just go to a decent wine merchant / shop and ask their advice about the top shelf French stuff and just open my wallet and wince a bit. I think in this case you've got to be seen to be generous. It hasn't failed me yet.

(A small thing of freshly squeezed orange juice is also thoughtful in case there's elderly people there who'd prefer a bucks fizz type thing rather than drinking it 'straight'!)
 

iGav

macrumors G3
Mar 9, 2002
9,025
1
I've only ever known one person (who drinks) who doesn't like champagne. Everyone else's eyes seem to light up when they're offered a bottle. It a real treat.

Can't stand the stuff. But then you don't know me, so I suppose your theory still holds. ;)

And glocke12, she invites you to Christmas, along with her parents, and her friends from outside work... have you ascertained whether your boss has any romantic intentions? ;)
 

jeremy h

macrumors 6502
Jul 9, 2008
491
267
UK
your boss has any romantic intentions? ;)

I did wonder that too - but I guess Glocke will find out soon enough (after the bottle of champagne) when he enters the steamy kitchen to ask if there anything he can help with... ;)
 

Bishwasher

macrumors regular
Jun 10, 2012
210
0
Portsmouth,UK
Are you looking for a promotion and/or pay rise?:D:D
If you are and she suggests at any point "taking things to the next level" ie. to the bedroom then don't argue just go;):D
 

kolax

macrumors G3
Mar 20, 2007
9,181
115
lets just say shes not my type...

Say you've been offered to stay with your family that's far away. I agree that work and personal life should be kept separate, and your boss inviting you to spend Christmas day with her family is pretty personal. She may just be a nice friend, or she may be looking for something more..
 

iJohnHenry

macrumors P6
Mar 22, 2008
16,530
30
On tenterhooks
lets just say shes not my type...

Is there a position (no, not that) opening up between her level and yours?

Is so, perhaps she is going to use the assessment of you by close family/friends to help with her decision? :confused:

Or did she suggest that you bring night attire? :p

All that aside, as most people will have had little/no breakfast leading up to this feast, if you decide to go, offer to bring the fixin's for mimosas.
 

glocke12

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Jan 7, 2008
999
6
Is there a position (no, not that) opening up between her level and yours?

Is so, perhaps she is going to use the assessment of you by close family/friends to help with her decision? :confused:

Or did she suggest that you bring night attire? :p

All that aside, as most people will have had little/no breakfast leading up to this feast, if you decide to go, offer to bring the fixin's for mimosas.

I am not aware of any position opening up, but I do know there is another round of layoffs scheduled, either before the end of the year or early next year. Thats one reason why I say I could use all the brownie points I can get. At 45, I simply can't afford to get laid off.

NIght attire?? I always have my night attire with me....its called my birthday suit.

Hell, Im not even sure I can lie my way out of this...She knows I never go anywhere when I take time off...

Still, though not entirely ruling it out. It could be fun, and I do admire the WWII generation for what they've been through...There are not too many of those guys left and I think it would be fascinating to meet a veteran who served in that war.
 

chown33

Moderator
Staff member
Aug 9, 2009
10,678
8,300
A sea of green
I think you should:
1. Ask if bringing champagne would be good (she may already have something else planned).
2. If the answer is "Yes", ask if she has a preference (could be risky, as in "Veuve Clicquot or Cristal would be great.").
3. Tell her you're looking forward to hearing her father's stories.
4. Open the champagne by holding the cork stationary and turning the bottle (leverage is better).

For real brownie points, send a nice handwritten thank-you note afterwards (only if there are no champagne-cork casualties).

EDIT
If champagne is a no-go, you could try a dessert wine instead of one that pairs with the main course. Late harvest Gewürtztraminer is quite sweet, but with a spicy almost woody background. I also like some of the Muscatos, both US made and Italian (sorry, no labels come immediately to mind).
 
Last edited:

4JNA

macrumors 68000
Feb 8, 2006
1,505
1
looking for trash files
...you could try a dessert wine instead of one that pairs with the main course. Late harvest Gewürtztraminer is quite sweet, but with a spicy almost woody background.

this is what came to mind. if she is a wine person and already set the menu, then think outside the box. i have wine hating family who even think 'G' is awesome.

totally worth it for the WWII stories. best of luck.
 

Macky-Mac

macrumors 68040
May 18, 2004
3,471
2,510
.... The meal is going to be a prime rib roast..all I know is that means red wine...Since she is a wine person Id like to make a good choice...my budget for that would probably be around $40-$50.....

people who don't know wine should NEVER bring wine to a wine person's dinner party......it's a certain disaster and you WILL be judged for your mistake :p
 

phrehdd

macrumors 601
Oct 25, 2008
4,283
1,291
Nice gesture on her part for sure..didn't really have any plans that day (my family members are either deceased or live far away) until later that evening when Im getting together with friends. The meal is at her place at noon with her parents and some of her friends from outside of work.

Not really sure if I am going or not, since I really like to keep my work and personal life separate, but she is pretty insistent, extending a verbal invitation as well as an email invitation.

Thoughts on this? I'd like to graciously decline but don't want to offend her at the same time, and in this day and age of good jobs being hard to come by, and given my "advanced age" of 45 I figure I need all the brownie points I can get.

Also, should I go, does anyone have a wine recommendation? The meal is going to be a prime rib roast..all I know is that means red wine...Since she is a wine person Id like to make a good choice...my budget for that would probably be around $40-$50.

thanks in advance.

Bring beer and a date.
 

Fresh Tendrils

macrumors regular
May 14, 2011
124
0
Since it's Christmas I would say a bottle of champagne. Every Christmas dinner I've ever been to, everyone's at least tried 1 glass of champagne. Alternatively, you could think about an after dinner liquor like Kahula, or Baileys etc. Or like others said, a desert wine. But if you don't know much about wine, might be hard to choose a good one.
 

GoCubsGo

macrumors Nehalem
Feb 19, 2005
35,741
153
Any respectable wine merchant will assist you in picking a wine. You can look up ratings online in store before you buy it as well I'm sure.
 
Register on MacRumors! This sidebar will go away, and you'll see fewer ads.