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Old Dec 17, 2012, 08:34 PM   #51
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sorry but i dont see any reason why an 18 year old MAN should be dating a 14 year old

4 years is a big gap at that age. She is just a child

His jail time was well deserved in my opinion
I am not sure about the jail time, but that 4 year gap at that age is huge and few of us here really remember those ages like it was yesterday. It could be argued that in that time period a person only starts to make the long, and often painful process of going from childhood to adulthood.

The laws are still draconian though and should be levied more on the much older adult being a pedophile with a 14 year old. While an 18 year old is much different in most cases than a 14 year old, it's hard to say any 18 year old is a rational thinking "adult".
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Old Dec 17, 2012, 08:44 PM   #52
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That's true, but wouldn't you advocate a change in the law?
Not this one.
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Old Dec 17, 2012, 08:49 PM   #53
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That was always really weird in my high school. Oh God, I wonder how many of those couples did it...
Really? In what world?

Let's pick the most stereotypical example for those with blinders on: senior varsity football player and freshman cheerleader or pom girl. It's a given that happens more than a few times at practically any school in America. I guess the only slight issue is 17 v. 18 year old senior, with probably the majority skewed toward 17 because most kids aren't 18 until the second half of their senior year, but come on.

---

That being said, the kid was an idiot, because as an 18 year old high school student, he's still more of a kid than a man. It was stupid to get into an argument with the father and stupid to then break parole, so it's hard to say he didn't get what he deserved (especially since he got off the sex offender registry).
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Old Dec 17, 2012, 08:50 PM   #54
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Really? There was never girl chatter about going out with a senior?
Awkward guy on tech message board did not talk much to girls in high school.

Even then, it's the sex part where it gets... creepy. I mean, the guy is one year away from college, the girl is one year away from middle school... It's just weird.
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Old Dec 17, 2012, 08:50 PM   #55
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Not this one.
So you would send the 18 year old guy to jail over this? This is the job of the parents, not the law. It is an inappropriate relationship, but not one requiring jail time or ruining the persons life over.
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Old Dec 17, 2012, 08:55 PM   #56
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If an 18 year old had sex with my 14 year old daughter, jail time would be the least of his worries!
I would bet if your daughter was any age and a boy had sex with her there would be issues.
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Old Dec 17, 2012, 09:08 PM   #57
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So you would send the 18 year old guy to jail over this?
Without thinking twice.

Not only did he break the law, he went to jail for a year, got out on probation, then broke the same law again (this time as a 19-year-old). It's a good law IMO. Breaking this law was pretty dumb the first time, but it takes a special kind of thick-headedness to do it a second time.

Don't blame the law for this, blame the guy who seems unable to learn his lesson.
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Old Dec 17, 2012, 09:13 PM   #58
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Without thinking twice.

Not only did he break the law, he went to jail for a year, got out on probation, then broke the same law again (this time as a 19-year-old). It's a good law IMO. Breaking this law was pretty dumb the first time, but it takes a special kind of thick-headedness to do it a second time.

Don't blame the law for this, blame the guy who seems unable to learn his lesson.
It's a law designed to punish pedophiles. You think a senior in HS is a pedophile for having sex with a 14 year old freshman? I'm not for repealing the law, just changing it to get rid of a gray area like this one.

Jail and ruining a guys life over this is ridiculous. Do your job as a parent and tell them it is an inappropriate relationship. Do some actual raising with your kids and don't pass the football to the law so you don't have to do your job! ( This isn't directed at you. Just saying I can't stand when parents pass the football to the government or schools to do their job).
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Old Dec 17, 2012, 10:30 PM   #59
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It's a law designed to punish pedophiles. You think a senior in HS is a pedophile for having sex with a 14 year old freshman?
No, it's a law to keep adults - which this guy is and was at the time - from having sex with someone who is not old enough to give consent.

I don't think this guy is a pedophile (the correct term would be hebephile), I think his attraction was toward one girl in particular. And she was underage. Both times.

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Do your job as a parent and tell them it is an inappropriate relationship. Do some actual raising with your kids and don't pass the football to the law so you don't have to do your job! ( This isn't directed at you. Just saying I can't stand when parents pass the football to the government or schools to do their job).
This has nothing to do with parenting. The man was an adult. He got caught, went to jail, then did the same thing AGAIN. Parenting, or lack of it, was not part of this equation. He knew he was breaking the law and did it anyway.
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 08:41 AM   #60
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I guess the point I'm trying to make is that this specific guy went back after being arrested, serving sentence, and being on probation. That makes him a repeat offender in terms of the circumstances. To me these details make this case more about disrespect for the law, the parents of the young girl, and the girl herself as opposed to just a simple underage "love story". Heck, I did some really dumb things when I was young, but if I had been found guilty of something and served time for it, you better believe that when I got out I wouldn't be messing with the same girl or any other girls under the age of consent.
I see it as there are 2 ways to approach the story, poorly constructed laws and in some cases inappropriate punishments, versus defiance of established laws. Both of these can be argued at the same time, but they are two different arguments.

Yes, based on the circumstances, this individual along with those who came before him, like the teacher who was in love with the student and persisted in her relationship with him, having children with him, made what society would call bad choices. Last I heard they were still together despite the obstacles. But these people, the ones I am thinking of, are not predators persee. They do have what can be described as emotional based issues, the teacher much more so, then the 18-14 year old relationship, because in her case the age difference was much greater as I recall. My wife is 5 years younger than I am. Fortunately I met her when I was 25 and she was 20. I know: does not apply.
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 10:08 AM   #61
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No, it's a law to keep adults - which this guy is and was at the time - from having sex with someone who is not old enough to give consent.
Again, let's look at grey areas. Would you say that a guy who is in his later months of being 17 should not be able to date someone in her younger months of 16? They've been dating for two years. That sounds completely reasonable to me. Does it not?

Now, in California, the age of consent is 18. When that guy turns 18, it is now illegal for him, for a period of a year and half, to fool around with his girlfriend, who he has legally been fooling around with for over two years. That's a bad law. It needs to deal with areas such as this. It needs to take separation of age into account. An 18 year old having sex with a 17 year old in California is illegal, and carries the same punishment as a 45 year old having sex with a 12 year old. There should be an age-separation clause, like 4 years or something.

I'm not saying that the guy didn't do anything wrong by smashing the dad's TV or whatever, or that all cases of 18-14 sex are awesome, but yeah...this law needs to be revisited.

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My wife is 5 years younger than I am. Fortunately I met her when I was 25 and she was 20. I know: does not apply.
My wife is 7 years younger than me. We met when I was 27 and she was 20. In fact, on one of our first dates, I had to be her "chaperone" because the Dave & Buster's we went to required anyone under 21 to have a chaperone over 25 or something to that effect. Heheh.
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 11:25 AM   #62
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The law needs to be changed. The sex offender list was meant to protect underage kids from pervs that are way over age. Not to prevent a senior in HS dating a freshman.
Law is law.
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 11:38 AM   #63
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Law is law.
It doesn't mean the law can't be changed.
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 12:46 PM   #64
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It doesn't mean the law can't be changed.
Nor does it mean the law should be changed. At the end of the day everyone has their opinion. To me, I think he broke the law twice and as with any other crime has to deal with the consequences.
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 12:51 PM   #65
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Again, let's look at grey areas. Would you say that a guy who is in his later months of being 17 should not be able to date someone in her younger months of 16? They've been dating for two years. That sounds completely reasonable to me. Does it not?
That's not a "grey area." In Michigan, there's no close age exception; in that case, they're both breaking the law.

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Now, in California, the age of consent is 18. When that guy turns 18, it is now illegal for him, for a period of a year and half, to fool around with his girlfriend, who he has legally been fooling around with for over two years.
That's not correct. In California, there's no close age exception; while they're both underage, they're both breaking the law.

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That's a bad law.
Perhaps. But breaking it twice is inexcusable, regardless of how bad it is. Just how many times would you allow him to go free after repeatedly breaking the same law?
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 12:57 PM   #66
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Nor does it mean the law should be changed. At the end of the day everyone has their opinion. To me, I think he broke the law twice and as with any other crime has to deal with the consequences.
Was he stupid for breaking it twice and violating probation? Yes. No doubt about it. Was his jail time warranted? Yes in this case for first home invasion and then for violating probation.

But, jail time and being put on the sex offenders list in a situation like this( 18 year old senior in HS dating a 14 year old freshman) is excessive. The relationship is inappropriate, but not one to send the older person to jail and ruin his life over.
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 01:17 PM   #67
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Perhaps. But breaking it twice is inexcusable, regardless of how bad it is. Just how many times would you allow him to go free after repeatedly breaking the same law?
Yeah, I exceeded the speed limit on the highway once, but NEVER again. Don't want to break the law twice! All laws must be obeyed at all times!
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 01:19 PM   #68
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Yeah, I exceeded the speed limit on the highway once, but NEVER again. Don't want to break the law twice! All laws must be obeyed at all times!
comparing speeding to statutory rape. interesting
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 01:21 PM   #69
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comparing speeding to statutory rape. interesting
Key word being statutory. Rape is an entirely inappropriate word to use.
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 01:35 PM   #70
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Key word being statutory. Rape is an entirely inappropriate word to use.
I disagree, as does the law and let's be frank, that is all that matters.

Regardless, the fact that you make light of this scenario and allude it to the same thought process behind that of speeding is.... not really comparable. The punishments for those two laws are magnitudes different in severity
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 02:05 PM   #71
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Yeah, I exceeded the speed limit on the highway once, but NEVER again. Don't want to break the law twice!
The principle is even the same - second and subsequent offenses are given harsher punishments.
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 02:26 PM   #72
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At ~16 girls are generally much more mature than boys. Plenty of 15/16 year old girls went out with 18 year olds at my school - in fact far more than went out with 15/16 year old boys.
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 03:05 PM   #73
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Was he stupid for breaking it twice and violating probation? Yes. No doubt about it. Was his jail time warranted? Yes in this case for first home invasion and then for violating probation.

But, jail time and being put on the sex offenders list in a situation like this( 18 year old senior in HS dating a 14 year old freshman) is excessive. The relationship is inappropriate, but not one to send the older person to jail and ruin his life over.
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These parents argue that the laws are imposing punishments on their high-school sons that are out of proportion to the crime.
That's my biggest things. Educate your adult children rather then trying to bend laws around their stupidity.

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Her father disapproved of the relationship, Lester says, and told the pair to split up.
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One morning, Thornsberry drove to Lester’s house when he thought her father would be at work. His plan, he says: to pick up some belongings and drive his girlfriend to school. But her father saw Thornsberry outside the home and the two started arguing. Thornsberry kicked open the front door and hurled a sugar bowl at the TV. The father called the police. Thornsberry was arrested for home invasion.
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“He was acting like a dumb teenager,” Baldino says. One day, Lester’s father came home and found Thornsberry with his daughter. Back to jail he went.
He messed up his own life. Poor choices. I think he belongs on the list.
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 04:06 PM   #74
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That's not a "grey area." In Michigan, there's no close age exception; in that case, they're both breaking the law.
I don't think you're getting my point. It's not a grey area because of current law in that state. I am saying that the law should change to take care of what is actually a grey area. In many states you can start legally having sex with someone while you are both underage and within a few years of each other. For instance, in Tennessee the age of consent is 18, but someone who is over 13 can consent to sex with someone less than four years older.

Now, I don't quite agree with 13-year olds having sex, but every state should have an age-range law in my opinion, not just a hard "two people must be over this age".

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That's not correct. In California, there's no close age exception; while they're both underage, they're both breaking the law.
You are correct. I just looked that up. I think that is stupid.

This is also another one of those things where I think it needs to be a nationwide law.


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He messed up his own life. Poor choices. I think he belongs on the list.
You really think a teenager who simply has sex with his girlfriend should be put on a lifelong sex-offender registry, the same registry as pedophiles and child rapists, and have to report his whereabouts for the rest of his life? Wow.
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Old Dec 18, 2012, 05:15 PM   #75
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The only thing that bothers me is the fact that people are/were punished for being in love, and that's sad on some levels.

I can relate to both sides of the concept, where these laws are designed to keep young people from hurting themselves, but I think there's a difference between the intent of the law and the letter of the law, and sometimes, common sense is disregarded in following all laws to the letter. As mentioned, some countries consider 18 and 14 year old couples normal. It's not like a grown man was penetrating an unknowing pre-teen. We all have our opinions of what is acceptable, and a line has to be drawn somewhere... hence the argument.
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