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Old Dec 20, 2012, 07:01 PM   #126
TedM
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this seems crazy when juxtaposed with that teen who raped a child and was let off because internet porn had negatively influenced him ~ according to the judge.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...-36-years.html
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Old Dec 20, 2012, 07:37 PM   #127
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To those thinking 18 with 14 is terrible: It's been over 10 years since I was in high school and back then seniors and freshmen were extremely common. I can't imagine it has gotten better (in your opinion for age range) in the last 10 years. Most likely worse.

If this was my daughter I'd be enraged but I'd never feel like jail was appropriate. The law needs some sort of exception for high school teens.
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Old Dec 20, 2012, 07:42 PM   #128
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To those thinking 18 with 14 is terrible: It's been over 10 years since I was in high school and back then seniors and freshmen were extremely common. I can't imagine it has gotten better (in your opinion for age range) in the last 10 years. Most likely worse.

If this was my daughter I'd be enraged but I'd never feel like jail was appropriate. The law needs some sort of exception for high school teens.
So the age of consent automatically drops to whenever you get a locker? and its ok for someone in the same school? what about when he graduates is still ok? What about middle school - 8th vs. 9th -

You have to have limits and laws.
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Old Dec 20, 2012, 07:52 PM   #129
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this seems crazy when juxtaposed with that teen who raped a child and was let off because internet porn had negatively influenced him ~ according to the judge.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...-36-years.html
x5555555555

little backwards...
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Old Dec 20, 2012, 07:53 PM   #130
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You have to have limits and laws.
You don't. We choose to.

I see nothing wrong with the concept of two high school sweethearts. I'd prefer it to not be my daughter but a law against it seems overstepping to me.
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Old Dec 20, 2012, 07:53 PM   #131
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So the age of consent automatically drops to whenever you get a locker? and its ok for someone in the same school? what about when he graduates is still ok? What about middle school - 8th vs. 9th -

You have to have limits and laws.
Hence having an age gap makes sense. Just because a 16 year old boy has sex with a 15 year old girl doesn't make him a rapist( or a 18 year old having sex with a 17 year old).

We may all agree that an 18 year old dating a 14 year old may be inappropriate, but jail and labeling him a rapist is hardly the right punishment.
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Old Dec 20, 2012, 07:58 PM   #132
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You don't. We choose to.

I see nothing wrong with the concept of two high school sweethearts. I'd prefer it to not be my daughter but a law against it seems overstepping to me.
it would be interesting legislation to determine who would be a sweetheart and fellow student.

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Hence having an age gap makes sense. Just because a 16 year old boy has sex with a 15 year old girl doesn't make him a rapist( or a 18 year old having sex with a 17 year old).

We may all agree that an 18 year old dating a 14 year old may be inappropriate, but jail and labeling him a rapist is hardly the right punishment.
I think this is one reason a fair amount of the states put the age of consent at 16 and not at 18
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Old Dec 20, 2012, 10:11 PM   #133
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I think this is one reason a fair amount of the states put the age of consent at 16 and not at 18
Hence why I put the 16/15 scenario in.
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Old Dec 21, 2012, 06:52 PM   #134
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That is an idea.

But I think if the 9th grade was moved to Junior School then the rate of these issues will fall dramatically.

Eliminate (at least reduce) the temptation.
But the rate of 14/15 year olds dating 11 year olds would drastically rise. Freakin' Obama.
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Old Dec 21, 2012, 07:42 PM   #135
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Americans getting in a tizzy about two people having SEX, who would have thought it.
It has nothing to do with the country you are from. No matter where you are at an adult having sex with a child (yes this is what it is) is just sick and illegal. At 18 I knew better, and everyone I hung out with knew better. You stayed away from the freshmen. This is the law and a good one at that. The punishment was just if not a little too lenient.

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We may all agree that an 18 year old dating a 14 year old may be inappropriate, but jail and labeling him a rapist is hardly the right punishment.
Wrong. He is a rapist by law, and was punished. IMO it should have been a harsher punishment. An adult having sex with a child is just sick.
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Old Dec 23, 2012, 11:41 AM   #136
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That was the implication. If you read the rest of my post though, I didn't say it should be criminalized by any means. I think it is wrong because someone who is 14 is even less capable of rational thought than someone who is 18. But to say someone who is 18 has reached their full state of rational thought is also wrong.

Both sides have families, lives, friends...if we throw an 18 year old in jail with a bunch of hardened criminals, we are wasting government money and destroying families more than we are 'serving justice'. I don't know about you but I made some pretty stupid calls at 18. That wasnt one of them, but my point is 18 is not a mature adult. So my original point that is is wrong and an 18 year old should know it is wrong stands, but I did not say and am not saying we throw a young man or woman under the bus.
Agree.

Even 20 is no guarantee of wisdom.

For sure our society has a very poor regard and understanding of sexual behavior. And common sense.
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Old Dec 23, 2012, 11:46 AM   #137
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That was the implication. If you read the rest of my post though, I didn't say it should be criminalized by any means. I think it is wrong because someone who is 14 is even less capable of rational thought than someone who is 18. But to say someone who is 18 has reached their full state of rational thought is also wrong.

Both sides have families, lives, friends...if we throw an 18 year old in jail with a bunch of hardened criminals, we are wasting government money and destroying families more than we are 'serving justice'. I don't know about you but I made some pretty stupid calls at 18. That wasnt one of them, but my point is 18 is not a mature adult. So my original point that is is wrong and an 18 year old should know it is wrong stands, but I did not say and am not saying we throw a young man or woman under the bus.
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Agree.

Even 20 is no guarantee of wisdom.

For sure our society has a very poor regard and understanding of sexual behavior. And common sense.
It is a matter of does the punishment fit the crime? My understanding is that high school kids are very sexually active. Locking them up as punishment or deterrence seems more destructive than effective in correcting the issue.
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Old Dec 23, 2012, 11:54 AM   #138
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But the rate of 14/15 year olds dating 11 year olds would drastically rise. Freakin' Obama.
Oh, your right, 14/15 would be with younger....

Regardless, unrestrained teaching from 13 to 17 year olds about sexual emotions and urgings is a must. As well as law.
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Old Dec 23, 2012, 11:54 AM   #139
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I understand where you are coming from Huntn, but the specific boy in the article made some really bad decisions. He went back to his girlfriend after getting out a jail and while he was on probation. In my opinion it's hard to have sympathy when he knowingly and willfully broke the law that landed him in trouble initially. Would you be sympathetic to someone in this situation if the crime were different say shoplifting or assault?
Shop owners don't want to be stolen from. Some laws are just wrong.
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Old Dec 23, 2012, 05:40 PM   #140
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It is a matter of does the punishment fit the crime? My understanding is that high school kids are very sexually active. Locking them up as punishment or deterrence seems more destructive than effective in correcting the issue.
And our justice system is not looking at it this way, which is a problem.

There is no justice served to lock an 18 year old up with hardened offenders...well, unless we want to create a hardened criminal. It's a lot of money to put someone in jail and at some point, we have to realize that this offers no value to society and that it ruins families. I don't think anyone can say value exists here as it doesn't. It adds to the national debt, it tears families apart, and it helps perpetuate a cycle of crime. And this case shows that the punishment isn't even effective!!! Clearly, this is not working for the people.

Most of us seem to agree than 18 and 14 having sexual relations is not okay. So we've reached a consensus, which is a very good thing as it means we can move on to policy. However, we need to reach a consensus on a better punishment/deterrent system...something that will deter while not ruining someone's life over an immature decision over a lust of of boobies or penia (I think that is the plural spelling). Doing nothing seems to be wrong, so there needs to be some sort of sanctions or punishment to prevent the offender from committing the offense again. I honestly believe an effective punishment can be developed that isn't so extreme that it means being locked away with hardened criminals and having to report yourself as a sex offender limiting your personal livelihood. There has to be a better way.

I'm interested how other countries approach this issue?

Then, let's solidify these laws nationally. Individual state laws on a topic like this are hurting us. A lot of time and money is spent on this and it creates genuine confusion through ambiguity of law. We need a solid set of guidelines for law and punishment.
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Old Dec 23, 2012, 05:44 PM   #141
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x5555555555

little backwards...
Given its from a source which publishes pictures of underage teenage girls in bikinis they don't really have a right to complain.
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Old Dec 29, 2012, 10:37 PM   #142
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They were in high school together. Likely he just turned 18.

To put it in perspective, my mom and dad are four years apart. They started dating in highschool. When mom was a freshman, and dad a senior. They got married when mom was 19 and dad 23. Now they're 58 and 62.

It's actually a fairly common thing. I mean hey. I dated a 15 year old when I was 17. We were about 2 and a 1/2 years apart age wise, and I turned 18 nearly half a year before she turned 16. Would you consider me a pedophile? Should I have had the book thrown at me for statutory rape?

Yes. There is a point when things go from stretching the issue a little bit to flat out wrong. But let's let common sense decide when that point is reached, rather than ruining some idiot teenager's life because what they did was against the strictest interpretation of the letter of the law.
Im pretty sure that a 5 year age gap is the minimum for someone to be labelled as a peadophile, which seems about right.
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Old Dec 30, 2012, 08:43 AM   #143
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They were in high school together. Likely he just turned 18.

To put it in perspective, my mom and dad are four years apart. They started dating in highschool. When mom was a freshman, and dad a senior. They got married when mom was 19 and dad 23. Now they're 58 and 62.

It's actually a fairly common thing. I mean hey. I dated a 15 year old when I was 17. We were about 2 and a 1/2 years apart age wise, and I turned 18 nearly half a year before she turned 16. Would you consider me a pedophile? Should I have had the book thrown at me for statutory rape?

Yes. There is a point when things go from stretching the issue a little bit to flat out wrong. But let's let common sense decide when that point is reached, rather than ruining some idiot teenager's life because what they did was against the strictest interpretation of the letter of the law.
It boils down to society's standard and who is writing laws. The boy highlighted in this thread is not a sexual predator, how ever the way the laws have been written he is. This is beside the point that he defied a judge and got thrown into jail for an extended period and is now being treated as sexual predator for the rest of his life. The punishment is inappropriate for the situation IMO.
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Old Dec 31, 2012, 09:02 AM   #144
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Wrong. He is a rapist by law, and was punished. IMO it should have been a harsher punishment. An adult having sex with a child is just sick.
And do you really think that the day someone turns 18, they are magically much more able and ready for the world than they were at 17 years and 364 days? That one day makes a huge amount of difference in who they are as a person? I do understand that there has to be an age limit for things, as we have with driving, smoking, drinking.

But you don't think any adjustments should be made to these types of laws, such as an age-range limit, say four years? To me, an 18-year-old is not an adult, and a 14-year old is not a child. They are both teens. A 30-year old having sex with a 6-year old...that's an adult and a child, and that is sick and deserves harsh punishment. An 18-year-old with a 14-year-old, that's two teens getting frisky, and it's a little weird, but I hardly think that deserves jail time and sex-offender-for-life status. Is an 18-year-old having sex with a 17-year-old sick? Is it not sick the day that 17-year-old turns 18?

And what harsher punishment would you like to see and what do you think that such a thing actually accomplishes? Does labeling every high schooler caught having sex as a sex offender for life, literally on the same list as old men who grab little girls on the playground, do anything? Does putting every high schooler caught having sex in jail for months or years with drug dealers and actual rapists really help? Or does it just give you a boner knowing that people are getting put away?
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Old Dec 31, 2012, 09:18 AM   #145
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I see nothing wrong with the concept of two high school sweethearts.
We aren't talking romance and kisses here, we're talking sticky stuff. Let's not confuse the two. Nobody's going to do time for a peck on the cheek.
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Old Dec 31, 2012, 09:26 AM   #146
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We aren't talking romance and kisses here, we're talking sticky stuff. Let's not confuse the two. Nobody's going to do time for a peck on the cheek.
Today, high school sweethearts means sticky stuff. Since it definitely did when I was in HS 10 years ago. I still see nothing wrong with a senior+freshman couple.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 06:00 PM   #147
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A bunch of people here are saying it should be about the parents, yet the girls dad said no, and he kept coming around anyway.

At what age do we give people adult rights ? Right to vote, buy property, enter into a contract, lease an apartment, goto war, ect ?

A fourteen year is still dependent upon his or her parents or guardian, an 18 year old, with 30 days notice, can be sent out into the world to fend for themself.

Louisiana has a three year rule, so if it would have happened here, he still would be a predictor. Just last year Virginia changed the age of consent to 15. A 50 year old perve can have sex with a 15 year old and there is nothing the 15 year old's parents can legally do, unless the 15 year old is a pregnant girl, then because she is under the age of responsibility, the parents are responsible for the child. It takes going to court twice to get child support.


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What if it was a 16-17 year old girl or the situation was reversed and the guy was 14? I view them both as just kids, although that's an awkward gap at that age.
The thread is about an 18 year old and a 14 year old, not a 17 year old. If 16-17 is awkward, what would you consider 18 ?

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I think it is inappropriate, but that is my job to do something about as a parent. Not something to send the guy to jail and put him on the sex offenders list though.

He went to jail for home invasion and destruction of property and that was warranted.

Would you be saying the same if in a state that gay marriage is illegal sent gay couples to jail for being together? They broke the law. They deserved it. Not that the law is wrong and needs changing?

Please tell me you're being sarcastic.....

Sending a guy to jail and label him as a sex offender is not a way to prevent teenage pregnancy. That's as screwed up as abstinence only education......

And what prevents two 14 year olds from having sex and the girl getting pregnant?
As a parent, do something tell the adult male to stay away from your minor daughter. He doesn't. Now what ?

Two 14 year olds? How about education and wait for it, here it comes..... Supervision. Why in the heck would two 14 year olds be left alone together. (Yes, I was resourceful at that age, but it wasn't easy or convenient.)
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 06:53 PM   #148
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Why in the heck would two 14 year olds be left alone together.
Isn't refusing to leave them alone a bit weird?
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 09:52 PM   #149
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As a parent, do something tell the adult male to stay away from your minor daughter. He doesn't. Now what ?

Two 14 year olds? How about education and wait for it, here it comes..... Supervision. Why in the heck would two 14 year olds be left alone together. (Yes, I was resourceful at that age, but it wasn't easy or convenient.)
Get him for harassment, stalking, restraining order, etc. But, I don't believe in automatic jail time, labeled a rapist, and put on the sex offenders list.

What kind of education? Would it be abstinence only? You hit the nail on the head with the supervision part.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 10:26 PM   #150
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Dating without sex really is possible and not that unenjoyable despite what our urges and entertainment tell us
So, it's kind of unenjoyable? I hope you're not in sales.
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