need help to see what wife is up to

roadking30 · Dec 30, 2012, 12:01 AM

After seeing a few message on my wife's phone when one of the kids opened her messages i believe she is having an affair. Is their a program you can get to see what she is up to before i talk to her.

I just want to know all the facts before speaking to her

ConCat · Dec 30, 2012, 12:08 AM

All macs come with a built-in VNC server. Turning it on is trivial. Go into system preferences, then into sharing, and check "Screen Sharing". Allow access to "All Users" then make sure you know the logon for her computer, and you can connect from anywhere on the network. Just go into the Finder and her computer should appear in the sidebar on the left. Click it, click the "Screen Sharing" button, and you're in. I suggest doing this and logging into screen sharing and switching it into "Observe mode" when she's not around just to be safe. Good luck.

MacUser09 · Dec 30, 2012, 12:13 AM

Google Spectorsoft. That might be what you are looking for.

Macman45 · Dec 30, 2012, 12:17 AM

Do you really think that spying on your wife is likely to help this situation? It all comes down to trust....I'd pass on the spying angle, sit down and have this out with her face to face. In the long run, it's the only way to resolve your issues with her. Good luck.

ConCat · Dec 30, 2012, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Macman45

Do you really think that spying on your wife is likely to help this situation? It all comes down to trust....I'd pass on the spying angle, sit down and have this out with her face to face. In the long run, it's the only way to resolve your issues with her. Good luck.

Although sometimes talking about it can create a problem where none exists. I think he's right to get some evidence before he confronts her with his suspicions. If he gets no concrete evidence, then he should probably drop it. Then again, it really isn't any of our business what he does with his marriage.

justperry · Dec 30, 2012, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Macman45

Do you really think that spying on your wife is likely to help this situation? It all comes down to trust....I'd pass on the spying angle, sit down and have this out with her face to face. In the long run, it's the only way to resolve your issues with her. Good luck.

+1000
Have to completely agree here.

And for the the 2 poster above you nice job man, nice job.

ConCat · Dec 30, 2012, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justperry

+1000
Have to completely agree here.

And for the the 2 poster above you nice job man, nice job.

Well, I figured just being helpful was more helpful than being rude and berating him for his marital decisions.

roadking30 · Dec 30, 2012, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ConCat

Well, I figured just being helpful was more helpful than being rude and berating him for his marital decisions.

Thanks for all your help.

I just asked a question I don't wish to having a tennis match. to what everyone else thinks i should do everybody is different

justperry · Dec 30, 2012, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ConCat

Well, I figured just being helpful was more helpful than being rude and berating him for his marital decisions.

You can reply without being rude, initially I wasn't going to reply to his request since I find it unethical, and yes if the story is true and his wife is having an affair that is also unethical, the best way out of such situations is talk to the wife.
Maybe nothing's wrong and it's just a plain friend/colleague.

IMO this is not to site to get help like this, but this is just my opinion.

Macman45 · Dec 30, 2012, 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justperry

You can reply without being rude, initially I wasn't going to reply to his request since I find it unethical, and yes if the story is true and his wife is having an affair that is also unethical, the best way out of such situations is talk to the wife.
Maybe nothing's wrong and it's just a plain friend/colleague.

IMO this is not to site to get help like this, but this is just my opinion.

Exactly...Spying is more than likely to aggravate what could be a perfectly harmless situation....How would you feel if somebody started prying into your private messages etc?

Big Stevie · Dec 30, 2012, 01:49 AM

I disagree. He OP has come here for technical help not marriage guidance. He didn't even have to mention why he needs the advice, but chose to do so.

I agree he should gather his evidence so that he knows whether to drop his suspicions completely, or confront her. Lets stick to the technical side of his question and let him deal with the moral issues.

Gregg2 · Dec 30, 2012, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Stevie

Lets stick to the technical side of his question and let him deal with the moral issues.

But then, you didn't.

Big Stevie · Dec 30, 2012, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gregg2

But then, you didn't.

Guilty! But neither did you

But I don't have enough knowledge to help him. And I'm interested in the answer to his question cus I like the idea of spying on my wife

takeshi74 · Dec 31, 2012, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roadking30

to what everyone else thinks i should do everybody is different

Everyone is different but communication is vital for any relationship. Good luck with it. I'd also encourage talking over spying.

mobilehaathi · Dec 31, 2012, 10:32 AM

It may also be illegal to monitor your wife without her consent. Have you considered honesty in your relationship?

ericrwalker · Dec 31, 2012, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mobilehaathi

Have you considered honesty in your relationship?

Sounds like the wife might have not considered it.

mobilehaathi · Dec 31, 2012, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ericrwalker

Sounds like the wife might have not considered it.

Quite possibly, but this doesn't justify spying. It is time to have a frank conversation.

ericrwalker · Dec 31, 2012, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mobilehaathi

Quite possibly, but this doesn't justify spying. It is time to have a frank conversation.

I agree, to a point but she might deny it and be cheating and the only person who loses if the OP who will continue to feel like something is wrong be just continue a normal life while his wife might be sleeping/seeing someone else?

Not saying spying is the right choice here, but maybe calling the TV show cheaters would be better.

ok probably not that either, but the OP might have be play an active role in finding out what's going on.

Gregg2 · Jan 1, 2013, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Stevie

Guilty! But neither did you

But I don't have enough knowledge to help him. And I'm interested in the answer to his question cus I like the idea of spying on my wife

Well, I didn't offer a technical answer for the same reason as you didn't. But I didn't offer advice from a moral point of view either. Anyway, I appreciate the good humor.

Big Stevie · Jan 1, 2013, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gregg2

Well, I didn't offer a technical answer for the same reason as you didn't. But I didn't offer advice from a moral point of view either. Anyway, I appreciate the good humor.

Once ive mastered the art of spying on my wife, I intend to spy on other peoples wives

Dec 30, 2012, 12:01 AM	#1
roadking30 macrumors newbie Join Date: Dec 2012	need help to see what wife is up to After seeing a few message on my wife's phone when one of the kids opened her messages i believe she is having an affair. Is their a program you can get to see what she is up to before i talk to her. I just want to know all the facts before speaking to her
	0

Dec 30, 2012, 12:08 AM	#2
ConCat macrumors 6502a Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: behind you. No, seriously.	All macs come with a built-in VNC server. Turning it on is trivial. Go into system preferences, then into sharing, and check "Screen Sharing". Allow access to "All Users" then make sure you know the logon for her computer, and you can connect from anywhere on the network. Just go into the Finder and her computer should appear in the sidebar on the left. Click it, click the "Screen Sharing" button, and you're in. I suggest doing this and logging into screen sharing and switching it into "Observe mode" when she's not around just to be safe. Good luck. __________________ Con + Cat
	2

Dec 30, 2012, 12:17 AM	#4
Macman45 macrumors G4 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Somewhere Back In The Long Ago	Do you really think that spying on your wife is likely to help this situation? It all comes down to trust....I'd pass on the spying angle, sit down and have this out with her face to face. In the long run, it's the only way to resolve your issues with her. Good luck. __________________ Time And Tide Wait For No Man
	6

Dec 30, 2012, 01:49 AM	#11
Big Stevie macrumors 6502 Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: UK	I disagree. He OP has come here for technical help not marriage guidance. He didn't even have to mention why he needs the advice, but chose to do so. I agree he should gather his evidence so that he knows whether to drop his suspicions completely, or confront her. Lets stick to the technical side of his question and let him deal with the moral issues. __________________ 2012 Macbook Pro (non retina) - Mountain Lion iPhone5
	3

Dec 31, 2012, 10:32 AM	#15
mobilehaathi macrumors 68030 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Bay Area, CA	It may also be illegal to monitor your wife without her consent. Have you considered honesty in your relationship? __________________ Of crimes---none is greater than having things that one desires; Of disasters---none is greater than not knowing when one has enough. Of defects---none brings more sorrow than the desire to attain.
	6

Dec 30, 2012, 12:13 AM	#3
MacUser09 macrumors regular Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: UK	Google Spectorsoft. That might be what you are looking for.
	0


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