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Old Jan 1, 2013, 06:25 PM   #26
Small White Car
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Originally Posted by Rocko1 View Post
Well good ol' first amendment allows anyone to spew out their opinion about anyone's mom, whether you like it or not.
Ah, I guess you're not up to speed on common idioms, so allow me to help.

When English speakers use the phrase "you can't express an opinion" we are not meaning that you must literally become mute as you seem to have interpreted it. Rather, it's an expression meaning that an opinion is based on faulty information, and is thus not applicable or useful to the conversation.

You're likely to run into that phrase again in the future, so now you'll now what people mean when they say that.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 06:33 PM   #27
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Ah, I guess you're not up to speed on common idioms, so allow me to help.

When English speakers use the phrase "you can't express an opinion" we are not meaning that you must literally become mute as you seem to have interpreted it. Rather, it's an expression meaning that an opinion is based on faulty information, and is thus not applicable or useful to the conversation.

You're likely to run into that phrase again in the future, so now you'll now what people mean when they say that.
Thanks for the lesson. What using that idiom does is make you sound preachy and wound tight. Whether you like it or not, holding back all judgement for whichever reasons you have given faith to, can be a detriment too. Do you stop a man from screaming at his kids even though you feel it's overboard and borderline abuse? You Probably would not, it's not your place to judge, or express your opinion. Many times those 'cant's, shouldn't' are out of your own fear and counter intuitive towards the common good of the situation.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 06:37 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by Rocko1 View Post
Do you stop a man from screaming at his kids even though you feel it's overboard and borderline abuse?
Ah, you're one of the "one rule for every situation" kind of people. I believe that you treat different things in different ways because they're, you know, different.

But apparently you think the rules for cell phones and child abuse must be the same rules. I really can't understand that viewpoint so I don't think we'll find a common ground here.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 06:49 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by Small White Car View Post
Ah, you're one of the "one rule for every situation" kind of people. I believe that you treat different things in different ways because they're, you know, different.

But apparently you think the rules for cell phones and child abuse must be the same rules. I really can't understand that viewpoint so I don't think we'll find a common ground here.
You're in the parent zone, you lack to understand what he is saying simply because people like you see themselves as the parent/authority.

Like there was said before, if you know your children, and you've thought them well. Such obvious rules shouldn't be required. I am not going to give my kid a phone stating that it's mine. If the situation ever arrives where he doesn't deserve to have it anymore, I'll just take it from him. Giving him something and stating in a contract that it's still mine takes away alot of the fun for the child. Making him pay for a replacement when he loses it is also out of line for a 13 year old with, what I can only assume, has no income. It's very simple. You lose it? You're **** out of luck. Seems like punishment enough. Make a gift and gift, not a prop to teach a child responsibility in what should be something to enjoy without concern.

If you don't understand the world of teenagers, you can't comprehend that these rules are too much to a certain extend, some good others over the line.

It has nothing to do with being a parent, because lots of parents give their kids these things at age 10 without any rules whatsoever. And I think we all know that's the other side of the spectrum which isn't appropriate either.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 07:05 PM   #30
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Love to see parents acting like children online.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 07:13 PM   #31
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basically this is what it is
mom gives him a gift, son is happy he gets an iPhone 5 (at the age of 13 is around the right time to start getting phones anyway, getting ready to start high school and stuff) (yes I was 13 when I started high school)
First thing he sees next to it "this is a gift but it's mine, I'll take it away whenever I want, pretty cool huh?" Then basically restricts him from a lot of features, makes it mandatory for him to play a game like crosswords or something, gets his phone taken everyday pretty much until he comes back from school, he can't use it in public because it's considered rude, he has to pick up every phone call politely(sucks for when those annoying telemarketers keep calling) he can only put music that none of his friends listen to, his mom has to know all his passwords and he pretty much can't call anyone. With rules like that I'm sure a lot of people would have rather gotten a flip phone and an iPod Touch or something. He is 13 but restricting his freedom like that has a chance of making him grow up rebellious.
Love that he also can't google anything that he wouldn't ask his mom.

and for the record I think it's best when you lead by example. If she's gonna teach him how to be responsible then she should be responsible too. She practically embarrassed him by putting the full story and his name on the internet. Does it even count as a gift if you can only use it for like 3 hours a day? It's like buying a brand new expensive HDTV for someone and telling them they can only watch it from the time they get home until 7:30 and only pre-approved channels, with a mandatory 30 minute "learning" channel show.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 07:35 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by tymaster50 View Post
...has to download new songs that his friends haven't discovered yet (really?)...
That seemed a bit odd at first reading, but I think they're encouraging the kid to discover new music and not just follow the crowd. Furthermore, the way I'm interpreting it, he's not banned from downloading popular music, he just can't listen exclusively to it. Seems reasonable.

Anyway, it's none of my business. With two teenagers myself, I learned a long time ago that while strangers may be eager to offer their thoughts on raising your kids, they are unwilling to put any real skin in the game. 'Nuf said.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 07:49 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by tymaster50 View Post
17.
LoL.... my mother was pretty easy on me and I turned out ok. I pretty much let my kids do what they want but they know the boundries and know the results of poor decisions. The money man giveth and the money man can taketh away!

I guess most would label me a "bad" parent. I let my 10 year old play halo 4 and Black Ops 2 (all COD series). I let my daughter of 7 look at my medical books and other very graphic books like "The Visable Human Project" (A book I recommend for anyone interested in anatomy or medicine). I don't sheild them from bad language, nudity (graphic nudity/sex of course), violence in media ect ect. Because I've had the advantage of living outside the US I have seen how attempting to sequester your children from all the social "taboos", you actually cause those things to be more of an appeal. Why do you think kids that went through the DARE program were more likely to try drugs? My older kids have no curfew but know what is acceptable.

My father was a pretty strict disciplinarian, my way or the highway type and we didn't have a very good relationship for much of our lives together. I believe you can give kids choices but withing given perameters. Of course there are times when you need to be the dictator but that's life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by m00min View Post
I always found the old "unless you have kids you wouldn't understand" line insulting. It implies that you lack empathy, that there's no one you care for, old or young. Why shouldn't a seventeen year old express his/her opinion?
You said you left out the fact that you may or may not have kids.... Well do you? IF you do and you say things didn't change after you had them you're either a liar or a really crappy parent! If you're a parent and you actually care, kids ABSOLUTELY change things! They have to or you're not doing it right. So yeah, if a person has no kids they can comment on things, but those with kids know how silly they look saying it.

Last edited by AFDoc; Jan 1, 2013 at 07:57 PM.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 08:47 PM   #34
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i had 299 to spare, i paid for the phone my parents pay for the plan. also i payed for the case and apple care +.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 08:56 PM   #35
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The thread title got me. I thought someone was going to claim they were an iphone owner for the last 13 years.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 09:10 PM   #36
pat park
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Originally Posted by tymaster50 View Post
basically this is what it is
mom gives him a gift, son is happy he gets an iPhone 5 (at the age of 13 is around the right time to start getting phones anyway, getting ready to start high school and stuff) (yes I was 13 when I started high school)
First thing he sees next to it "this is a gift but it's mine, I'll take it away whenever I want, pretty cool huh?" Then basically restricts him from a lot of features, makes it mandatory for him to play a game like crosswords or something, gets his phone taken everyday pretty much until he comes back from school, he can't use it in public because it's considered rude, he has to pick up every phone call politely(sucks for when those annoying telemarketers keep calling) he can only put music that none of his friends listen to, his mom has to know all his passwords and he pretty much can't call anyone. With rules like that I'm sure a lot of people would have rather gotten a flip phone and an iPod Touch or something. He is 13 but restricting his freedom like that has a chance of making him grow up rebellious.
Love that he also can't google anything that he wouldn't ask his mom.

and for the record I think it's best when you lead by example. If she's gonna teach him how to be responsible then she should be responsible too. She practically embarrassed him by putting the full story and his name on the internet. Does it even count as a gift if you can only use it for like 3 hours a day? It's like buying a brand new expensive HDTV for someone and telling them they can only watch it from the time they get home until 7:30 and only pre-approved channels, with a mandatory 30 minute "learning" channel show.
you know nothing about raising children. You're still a teenager yourself.

You are entitled to your opinion. But do not expect any parents here to line up with your perspective, since you're closer to the 13 y.o. in terms of wants and needs.

If my parents bought me an iPhone at that age, I would have given my left nut for it and signed whatever they wanted. Entitlement issues seem to be the other side of this argument. Some people here think the phone should be given with less or no rules. Remember, the kid is 13 and his parents are paying for everything (phone, plan). Unless if the kid has a job and some extra cash on hand, he has no choice but to go with what his parents are offering. All things considered, its not that bad of a deal for a free phone.

Will this really affect him in a negative way? Probably not. There will be other, much more significant life experiences that will affect him more. This is just one of many devices he will own. One of many "challenges" he will face with his mother. Wait till he get's his first girlfriend. You know mom is going to be ridiculous and tell him, "no sex, no drugs." Oh the horror!
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 09:11 PM   #37
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It's also important to remember that 13 years old is barely a teenager and generally that age group needs boundaries for their protection while learning to develop their own good judgment, a process that takes more years. And yes, I'm the proud mom of a responsible young adult.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 10:01 PM   #38
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I'm 15. I've had an iPhone since I was 11, and my parents didn't make me promise anything with it. I use it until the wee hours of the morning, I watch porn, I ignore people's calls, and my parents don't use it to annoy me, or to "teach" me. It's a phone, use it as such. It's a tool for making calls and texting, not for teaching your kid "social etiquette".
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 10:08 PM   #39
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As a 27 year old with no children of my own but has 4 years experience with pre teen kid in a previous relationship, I can speak from some experience. I wouldn't even give my kid a smart phone at that age. There's simply no need for it. Don't even know if I'd get an iPod touch. Regular iPod yes and yes I'd allow them to play certain video games. Your not teaching the kid responsibility with this. He's going to naturally want to rebel against such stringent rules. Focus on setting the example for your kids and they will follow for the most part. Just my 2 cents.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 10:09 PM   #40
pat park
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interesting perspectives we are getting from adults, parents and teenagers.

We all see the story a little differently thru our own perspective.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 10:17 PM   #41
stonyboys
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1. Get your own kid
2. Give them more lenient rules

Problem solved.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 10:19 PM   #42
JayLenochiniMac
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tymaster50 View Post
basically this is what it is
mom gives him a gift, son is happy he gets an iPhone 5 (at the age of 13 is around the right time to start getting phones anyway, getting ready to start high school and stuff) (yes I was 13 when I started high school)
First thing he sees next to it "this is a gift but it's mine, I'll take it away whenever I want, pretty cool huh?" Then basically restricts him from a lot of features, makes it mandatory for him to play a game like crosswords or something, gets his phone taken everyday pretty much until he comes back from school, he can't use it in public because it's considered rude, he has to pick up every phone call politely(sucks for when those annoying telemarketers keep calling) he can only put music that none of his friends listen to, his mom has to know all his passwords and he pretty much can't call anyone. With rules like that I'm sure a lot of people would have rather gotten a flip phone and an iPod Touch or something. He is 13 but restricting his freedom like that has a chance of making him grow up rebellious.
Love that he also can't google anything that he wouldn't ask his mom.

and for the record I think it's best when you lead by example. If she's gonna teach him how to be responsible then she should be responsible too. She practically embarrassed him by putting the full story and his name on the internet. Does it even count as a gift if you can only use it for like 3 hours a day? It's like buying a brand new expensive HDTV for someone and telling them they can only watch it from the time they get home until 7:30 and only pre-approved channels, with a mandatory 30 minute "learning" channel show.
Agreed. Teach your kids to be responsible in the first place and there's no need for those "rules." I question the sanity of those of you who see nothing wrong with the rules (and yes, I'm the father of two kids).

For those of you who're familiar with tymaster50's posts, he's significantly more mature and intelligent than his age.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 10:22 PM   #43
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Agreed. Teach your kids to be responsible in the first place and there's no need for those "rules."
easier said than done.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 10:25 PM   #44
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There's a naturally huge gap in maturity between age 13 and 17.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 10:34 PM   #45
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easier said than done.
Unless your kid suffers from some kind of disorder, teaching responsibility through proper parenting is 100% achievable. Don't make excuses.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 10:37 PM   #46
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Not a parent or anything, but I personally wouldn't have gotten him an iPhone unless I knew that he/she could be trusted or mature enough to have one. In other words, I wouldn't have to spell out a list of what is acceptable and what isn't. Additionally, it could be possible that this mom is just like that in general...
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 11:06 PM   #47
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OP is biased, he is not far off from 13 himself
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 11:25 PM   #48
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You shouldn't have to tell a child what's right or wrong. Your actions speak louder than words.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 11:29 PM   #49
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I agree 100% with all those rules. They may seem harsh to some, but they teach a lot of lessons. The kid isn't complaining according to the articles I read so why are people here complaining??
It seems like a poor way to present something. I don't see how it would teach responsibility if the focus isn't on self moderation. I also noted the part about damage or theft, yet no case to help protect against possible damage. I don't know a single adult (including myself) that has never once dropped their phone.
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Old Jan 1, 2013, 11:37 PM   #50
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It seems more like she made the contract to get 15 minutes of fame, most of the rules are ok but you have to listen to music your friends don't know about yet? That doesn't seem a little bit unfair to you?
Watch the kid start to listen to underground rap or hard metal.

Honestly if the kid is smart he can get around almost every single one of those rules. When you give somebody technology that can do so much its almost impossible to control.



If the mom doesn't trust her son, she shouldn't have given her son the iPhone. He should have been given a dumb-phone.

+ What is the kid going to do? Say he doesn't like the rules and get his phone taken away?
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