Just a few things that strike me in the VFX department:
Really just subtle things, but subtle things are extremely important in VFX. If our suspension of disbelief is broken because something looks fake, we think about it, and it distracts us from getting out of the film what the director wants.
The "Visual Cross" logo in the beginning is tacky looking to me. If you're not a professional motion designer, there's no shame in just using white text in a nice font. Since I'm assuming that it's a logo, though, maybe just have it static and fade on. I don't care for the movement. I like the clouds behind it, though.
When the timelapse is happening behind the two boys at around the 9 minute mark, the lighting doesn't change on them like you would expect it to. You could reshoot in front of the greenscreen, flashing a soft light on and off of them, or, and this would be the inferior choice, add the "exposure" effect the layer with the boys in After Effects, adding the expression wiggle(8,.1) to the "exposure" property. This would loosely simulate quickly changing light conditions.
You might argue that you wanted them to look entirely independent from the rest of the world, so you made the choice not to have the light changes affect them, but IMO, it draws attention to the fact that they're just flat planes composited in front of the timelapse.
It's noticeable that all of the VFX shots are locked off, when most others are in motion, even if only slightly. I realize that this was to avoid motion tracking (which can be hard, admitted), but here's what you can do to add some life to those shots and better help them match. This is all assuming you're using After Effects. If not, perhaps that you can adapt it.
Make a new null object with the completed shots in the timeline and add the expression wiggle(x,y) to the position property of the null, where x is the number of wiggles per second, and y is the intensity. You want it to be very subtle and slow. Perhaps less than 1 per second, with a pretty low intensity. You're trying to simulate what the movement would be like if it was handheld, but the operator was trying to hold the camera as still as possible. Anything more will look fake with this method. Parent the video layer to the null object.
Now add the "motion tile" effect to the video layer and check "mirror edges, then just crank the output width and output height to something high. Since your video is now moving, you'll be able to see black on the edges. The motion tile effect just mirrors the edges, which is sufficient for most shots.
I'm not really an authority to speak on the cinematography and editing that much, but it doesn't look bad overall. I agree that the dog scene could use some work, though. I like the color grading, and the film is overall a good idea.
If you choose to take any of my advice, let me know if you've got any questions on how to do it.
