iOS exchange setup vs OSx -- what am I missing?

I recently started working for a new company. I'm working remote and need to access their exchange server outside of a VPN. The company uses an exchange active sync email server. I was given the following settings (real info substituted with filler) to set up my email:

IP: intranet.fill-in.com
Username: fakename
Password: fakepass
Domain: aa.bbbb
SSL: OFF

Using the above information, I was able to set up an exchange account on my iPhone 5 in less than 2 minutes. Awesome.

The problems started when I tried to set up the account on Mail on my Macbook Pro (ML 10.8.2). I couldn't get it to work. The company outsources IT to a 3rd party firm, so I got their number and gave them a call (over Skype of course, international…). The IT guy spent 45 minutes remotely screwing around with my machine before he gave up. According to the tech my only options with Apple Mail are to either:

1.) connect using a VPN
2.) Create a POP account

Neither of these options are desirable. Currently I am using outlook webmail through my browser to access my mail on my mac. This is less than optimal for me.

I know very little about exchange servers and connection protocols, however some basic google research suggests that Exchange problems with Apple Mail are not uncommon. I could not find a clear solution on the internet.

This situation is bizarre to me. How is it that the account can be so simply set up in iOS but impossible to set up in Apple Mail?? That just seems counter-intuitive and ridiculous to me.

Does anyone have any advice here? I just began working for this company, and I'm not comfortable insisting the IT rep make something work when he's told me it's not possible. I would be much more comfortable sending him a clear cut solution to put into play.

Any exchange experts out there? What do you think?

DavMail

Just an FYI for anyone else looking for a resolution to this problem in the future. I was able to completely solve my problem with a free application called DavMail

DavMail runs in the background and establishes the connection to the exchange server. I route Apple Mail through it to access the server.

I'm still disappointed that I have to use a 3rd party software to supplement Apple Mail just to achieve basic functionality which is already baked into iOS...but it sure beats a webmail client.