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Old Jan 23, 2013, 05:52 PM   #1
imaketouchtheme
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Asperger's Syndrome

I searched prior to creating this thread, but I could not find any relevant information. I'm just wondering if anyone has Asperger's or is more familiar with the topic than I am, and if you're willing to discuss the disorder.

Let me give you a little background about myself. I am in my early 20s, and I have a brother who is in the early stages of elementary school. He was diagnosed with Asperger's around a year ago. When I was younger, I showed similar behaviors to him (from what I've been told), but they never "officially" diagnosed me with any sort of behavioral disorder. I currently have a girlfriend whom I've known for quite some time. We have been dating for about three months now, and she was recently helping my parents out by babysitting my little brother. After she came home, she kept saying how simliar we were in our personalities (she is unaware he has autism). She kept referencing specific things he would do that were very simliar to my own (I agreed with everything she said).

I do not have very many close friends. I only have three "true" friends that I am willing to spend time with (my girlfriend, and two other guys). I have other people who I would say are my "friends", but I would not find myself hanging out with them or do anything together. I also come across as very egotistical and selfish, but only due to how I talk and sometimes behave. I do not have any traits that would make me selfish other than my tone of voice and how I communicate sometimes. I'm also a very organized, picky person when it comes to routines and situations. I get extremely uncomfortable if I have to meet people for the first time or talk to someone I don't know. I have a difficult time looking directly in people's eyes during conversation.

Also, if something happens that disrupts my routine or what I have planned, I get extremely upset and distraught. I will give a recent example: The other day, my girlfriend and I went bowling. We left her care at a parking lot near where she works, and I took her back to her apartment. The next morning as I was getting ready for work and almost leaving, she reminded me about her car and needed me to drive her to it. I immediately snapped at her and lashed out, but I did not intend to. She got really upset and I apologized after it happened, but it felt like it was something I could not control.

I also get "stuck" on things and become fairly obsessive. I will listen to the same song on repeat for hours a day for weeks at a time, or continuously do a specific activity until something else comes up. I've been recently bowling quite frequently, to the point that I would bowl around 50 games a week. I've been bowling 3-4 times a week for over five months now, and it's not uncommon for me to do something like this about a particular activity. I'm also obsessed with reading random articles on Wikipedia in my free time, and I can generally retain most of what I read. That is another reason why people always think I'm "conceited", because I always have some input on any topic.

I'm also extremely logical and can memorize numbers instantly. I work in sales (which surprisingly doesn't bother me) and I can memorize the price of every single item we sell along with the SKU and even UPCs.

If I do something to upset my girlfriend and she gets mad or upset, after she becomes disgruntled I have to ask her what is wrong as I honestly have no idea. She gets really mad at me, as if I don't care or wasn't paying attention, but it's extremely difficult for me to read emotions like that.

After reading various articles regarding Asperger's syndrome, I'm beginning to come to the conclusion I may have a mild form. I'm fully functioning otherwise, and my strange behaviors generally don't affect my daily life. I have a higher IQ and I am successful in work and school. I took an online "test" and scored a 37. The average person scores a 16, and 80% of Asperger's patients scored above a 32.

Is anyone familiar with the disability and can give some helpful insight?

Thanks!
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Old Jan 23, 2013, 05:58 PM   #2
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I"m not directly familiar with it, but my friend's brother has it. He sounds like you have some similar traits as far as memory, routine, short temper. His temper I guess isn't necessarily short, but like he can always find something wrong or bad in a situation and complains a lot and if someone will disagree he can just snap. He also is like 30 or 31 and still lives with his parents, because he tried to move out a few times but it broke up his routine and he was really stressed out and had to move back. Now he commutes to work about 1.5 hrs each direction.

From what I understand its not that difficult to live with if you know you have it and can sort of get it under control. It sounds like your case is a bit more mild than my friend's brother and besides the living with his parents thing and not really having any friends, he lives a pretty normal day to day life. You have a gf and a few friends and are doing research about it, so you're going in the right direction.
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Old Jan 23, 2013, 06:03 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by imaketouchtheme View Post
After reading various articles regarding Asperger's syndrome, I'm beginning to come to the conclusion I may have a mild form. I'm fully functioning otherwise, and my strange behaviors generally don't affect my daily life.
Same here. Infact your whole post is like looking into a mirror (Close friends, dislike plans being disrupted, mild obsessions (used to be stronger. You mention music, when I was in my teens I could have the same song on loop all day whilst coding or painting), no good with numbers though but I remember way more than I should). I've had no diagnosis of anything but there's probably something there, but mild enough that it doesn't bother me, or better still enhances things. I'm able to laser focus on projects but still able to go up on stage and present them to hundreds.

My girlfriend was believed to have it. She went in for all the tests but 2 or 3 doctors and it was all their opinions she didn't have it (her behaviour stems from being bullied at school).

But the way I see it it's best left alone if it doesn't impact you or those around you negatively. But keep an eye out for things getting worse. I guess!
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Old Jan 23, 2013, 06:47 PM   #4
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Just going to point out everyone has tendencies . For example I have a lot of Asperger tendencies in my personalality and behavior. I do not have Asperger Syndrome so to speak. Now what I do have is dyslexia and they have found there is a over lap. It pretty much a degree thing. You may have some of it and the tendencies for it but not enough to cross the line so to speak. It also shares stuff with OCD. It just the over lap of how things are. And often time you can have multiple things because they are common to be stack on top of each other. I have Dyslexia, ADHD, Anxiety & depression. Most of it linking to my dyslexia only increasing the others effects. Anxiety and depression hits because my brain starts off in a weaken state against those and on top of that I have higher stress from the dyslexia and ADHD.

It is very different and not the easiest thing to cover and even more so if you are a boarder line case. I would not be surprised at all that you do not have it as you are not even in the grey area when they look at you. Yes you have some of the tendencies but not enough to cross over the line.
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Old Jan 25, 2013, 12:51 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Rodimus Prime View Post
Just going to point out everyone has tendencies . Yes you have some of the tendencies but not enough to cross over the line.
I think the things we use to call idiosyncrasies become more and more a diagnosed "thing" as we look for ways to identify, quantify what ails us. Back in the 70's and 80's, they had a teacher term for those kids who didn't necessarily fit into societal roles: OK. That one is diagnosed OK. Odd Kid.

Not in any way trying to minimalize the problems for people who present as unique. Just interested in how as we progress, we identify. Long-term, what does the Asperger's label put on someone? Does it taint a Doctor's perception if seeking medical care? What about insurance? I see constant urging for people with depression to seek help. Yet it impacts your insurance rates significantly if you have that diagnosis. Just rambling. Thought provoking topic.
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Old Jan 25, 2013, 01:11 PM   #6
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My daughter has aspergers and let's just say I'm very familiar with it! Reading your post I would say you sound like you have a lot of the traits that somebody with aspergers would have. My daughters exact diagnosis is higher functioning autism, and she was diagnosed 3 years ago. As we went through the process of getting a diagnosis my wife and I had to fill out a lot of questionnaires about her development. As you answer these questions you can't help but think about how you do or feel similar things. As others have said, we all have traits. You may or may not have enough traits for a formal diagnosis, but more importantly why does it matter to you? For my daughter it was about getting her the additional help with school. But as an adult what are the benefits of having a formal diagnosis?
I should point out that girls present very differently from boys with ASD. My wife is reasonably sure she has it (which I mostly agree with), but has no diagnosis. I think you should just try and avoid stressful situations (which make symptoms worse), and open up to people around you who you trust and are close to. If they are your friends and decent people it won't change the way they feel about you, but it might explain some of your quirkiness to them!
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Old Jan 25, 2013, 01:53 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spork183 View Post
I think the things we use to call idiosyncrasies become more and more a diagnosed "thing" as we look for ways to identify, quantify what ails us. Back in the 70's and 80's, they had a teacher term for those kids who didn't necessarily fit into societal roles: OK. That one is diagnosed OK. Odd Kid.

Not in any way trying to minimalize the problems for people who present as unique. Just interested in how as we progress, we identify. Long-term, what does the Asperger's label put on someone? Does it taint a Doctor's perception if seeking medical care? What about insurance? I see constant urging for people with depression to seek help. Yet it impacts your insurance rates significantly if you have that diagnosis. Just rambling. Thought provoking topic.
This is a great post. It appears that autism is a spectrum and all of us are on that spectrum somewhere. Some of us are further along the spectrum than others, but the vast majority of us who are high functioning should not see this as a "disability" (as the OP calls it) and I certainly have never used it as an excuse for my behavior.
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Old Jan 25, 2013, 02:17 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucidmedia View Post
This is a great post. It appears that autism is a spectrum and all of us are on that spectrum somewhere. Some of us are further along the spectrum than others, but the vast majority of us who are high functioning should not see this as a "disability" (as the OP calls it) and I certainly have never used it as an excuse for my behavior.
I don't think your statement is necessarily accurate. People can be rude or act a certain way because that's how they CHOOSE to act. The difference comes from the fact that people with certain disabilities or disorders are UNABLE to act what is deemed appropriate. Just because you have a hard time making eye contact during conversation does NOT mean you are INCAPABLE of doing so or have a disorder. People with Asperger's, from my personal experience and reading online, are not able to change their behaviors. They realize what happens is wrong or incorrect, they are just neurologically incapable of changing those issues. There is a reason I was specifically requesting information from people familiar with the topic or those who have it, because it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to understand what is felt if you aren't knowledgable with the topic or haven't experienced it.
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Old Jan 25, 2013, 03:08 PM   #9
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Was a teenager with Aspergers who remote installed Linux on my old Thinkpad about 10 years ago. Guys on the forum would complain about him because he was a bit tactless, but I thought he was the business. He was smart, helpful and taught me all sorts of techy stuff. Very rare to meet a teenager like that. Most are rabid, meme-regurgitating wastes of space.

Anyway, hope things work out for you OP
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Old Jan 25, 2013, 03:16 PM   #10
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I know of at least one guy on here now who is diagnosed on the spectrum. I was just telling my daughter about this thread, and she said she thought a lot of people on a website would be on the spectrum, as we all have a special interest!
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Old Jan 25, 2013, 03:25 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by imaketouchtheme View Post
I don't think your statement is necessarily accurate. People can be rude or act a certain way because that's how they CHOOSE to act. The difference comes from the fact that people with certain disabilities or disorders are UNABLE to act what is deemed appropriate. Just because you have a hard time making eye contact during conversation does NOT mean you are INCAPABLE of doing so or have a disorder. People with Asperger's, from my personal experience and reading online, are not able to change their behaviors. They realize what happens is wrong or incorrect, they are just neurologically incapable of changing those issues. There is a reason I was specifically requesting information from people familiar with the topic or those who have it, because it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to understand what is felt if you aren't knowledgable with the topic or haven't experienced it.
To be fair they can learn to over ride those things it is very hard to do but possible.. It is not they are incapable. Just the wiring is different so they have to learn to figure out how to rewire it or stop it before it the no stopping point.

Younger kids have not learn how to control things as well and over ride some of those things.
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Old Jan 25, 2013, 06:44 PM   #12
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Here is a useful link for anybody that would like to learn more about Autism.

http://www.behavioradvisor.com/AspergersSyndrome.html
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