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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:24 AM   #1
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Teen Pregnancy

May as well just go ahead with it here, I love this forum and actively post on it and view it everyday.

Ill just go ahead with it now,

My Girlfriend and I have been sexually active for about 11 Months now. We have been dating for over a year, and we are much more mature for our age then others. We are both 16. We are both Catholic, while I call myself a catholic, I have not gotten confirmed or received communion or anything, and i don't go to church that often, she is the opposite, but we are madly in love, so she doesn't mind it. Anyway, its come to my attention that she may be pregnant. While i am going purely off of symptoms, and she hasn't tested yet, I am worried. I realize the mistake, and Its on my hands. I already am set on getting through anything, and if she does turn out to be, I'm not having thoughts of leaving her. I will not have an abortion, and she won't either, of course. I care deeply about her, and I don't want this to affect her education and her immediate future, I am on the lines of adoption, but this is totally up to her more then me, and if she doesn't want it, I respect that, and I will put all my effort to not allowing it to affect her as it does everyone else.

I have only done the sha-bang inside her once, about a month ago now, and that is why the thought is even in my head.(No, we do not use protection, she won't allow me to.)

What your guys thoughts on this? And please, don't flame me for the mistake, I realize it, and my main focus is support and hope.
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:25 AM   #2
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Why won't she allow you to use protection? If it is due to religious reasons, well she already threw that away by being sexually active outside of marriage....

I commend you for stepping up and going to take responsibility instead of running away. But, you are going to hear about it from others for your mistake( and hers for refusing to use protection). Nature of putting this on a forum.
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:31 AM   #3
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Why won't she allow you to use protection? If it is due to religious reasons, well she already threw that away by being sexually active outside of marriage....

I commend you for stepping up and going to take responsibility instead of running away. But, you are going to hear about it from others for your mistake( and hers for refusing to use protection). Nature of putting this on a forum.
Yep religious reasons, and yeah I have already talked to her about that, but she still refuses.

Thank you, and yeah I figured I would try.
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:35 AM   #4
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Yep religious reasons, and yeah I have already talked to her about that, but she still refuses.
What was her attitude toward her high chance of becoming pregnant due to not using protection? Because she is clearly picking and choosing on religious beliefs if she wants to be sexually active, but still follow religious beliefs on protection...... Can't have it both ways.

I'm curious about it. Not trying to attack you or her. But, I am always curious to hear people who say they are religious, but then see them pick and choose what beliefs to follow and hear their reasoning.
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:37 AM   #5
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Why hasn't she taken a pregnancy test? These are readily available at drug stores for around 10 bucks. This is the first thing she needs to do.
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:38 AM   #6
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Religious sex education at its finest
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:38 AM   #7
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Run, don't walk to your local cvs and buy a pregnancy test. If she is pregnant, go to your parents. ASAP. You have three choices, of course, abort, keep or adoption. Adoption is a wonderful thing to do for another couple and I personally know a beautiful couple in the NY area who would adopt your baby in a heartbeat. PM me if you decide to go this route and I will PM you their adoption website.

And you don't want to hear this but I can not finish this without adding: the next time a girl won't allow you to wear protection, ask yourself why? And then stick to you guns: no protection, no sex. Period.
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:41 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by quagmire View Post
What was her attitude toward her high chance of becoming pregnant due to not using protection? Because she is clearly picking and choosing on religious beliefs if she wants to be sexually active, but still follow religious beliefs on protection...... Can't have it both ways.

I'm curious about it. Not trying to attack you or her. But, I am always curious to hear people who say they are religious, but then see them pick and choose what beliefs to follow and hear their reasoning.

You know she never has ever told me, as for her attitude, just worried.

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Why hasn't she taken a pregnancy test? These are readily available at drug stores for around 10 bucks. This is the first thing she needs to do.
She's taking one later today.

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Originally Posted by Mac'nCheese View Post
Run, don't walk to your local cvs and buy a pregnancy test. If she is pregnant, go to your parents. ASAP. You have three choices, of course, abort, keep or adoption. Adoption is a wonderful thing to do for another couple and I personally know a beautiful couple in the NY area who would adopt your baby in a heartbeat. PM me if you decide to go this route and I will PM you their adoption website.

And you don't want to hear this but I can not finish this without adding: the next time a girl won't allow you to wear protection, ask yourself why? And then stick to you guns: no protection, no sex. Period.
Don't worry we will be if she is, she's taking a test today.
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:41 AM   #9
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Yep religious reasons, and yeah I have already talked to her about that, but she still refuses.

Thank you, and yeah I figured I would try.
Isn't that extremely stressful?

I would hate sex, with the added stress, and thought of that financial and emotional complications hanging over my head. No way would it be enjoyable.

We use two forms...
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:41 AM   #10
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No one at age 16 is madly in love no matter what you think now man.
You just are madly in LUST. No offense or anything but chances are you just discovering that sex feels good. Welcome to adulthood.
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:44 AM   #11
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Isn't that extremely stressful?

I would hate sex, with the added stress, and thought of that financial and emotional complications hanging over my head. No way would it be enjoyable.

We use two forms...
it's definitely stressful at times, But i've been though much worse stress in my life that its something I've come to handle well.
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:46 AM   #12
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You might want to watch a video by Garfunkel and Oates (a couple of nice young ladies) called "The Loophole." It's very instructive for avoiding situations like this.
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:47 AM   #13
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No one at age 16 is madly in love no matter what you think now man.
You just are madly in LUST. No offense or anything but chances are you just discovering that sex feels good. Welcome to adulthood.
While I would normally agree with you, there is something much more complicated with us. We have been friends since kindergarden, and its just been a whole different kind of relationship.

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You might want to watch a video by Garfunkel and Oates (a couple of nice young ladies) called "The Loophole." It's very instructive for avoiding situations like this.
Hahahaha, ok, that definitely was great.
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:52 AM   #14
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... we are much more mature for our age then others.
Accurate self-assessment—and especially a well developed sense of humility—is a true sign of maturity.

Quote:
Why We're All Above Average

On a scale of one to 10, you probably think you're a seven. And you wouldn't be alone.

While it's impossible for most people to be above the median for a specific quality, people think they are better than most people in many arenas, from charitable behavior to work performance.

The phenomenon, known as illusory superiority, is so stubbornly persistent that psychologists would be surprised if it didn't show up in their studies, said David Dunning, a psychologist at Cornell who has studied the effect for decades.

http://www.livescience.com/26914-why...e-average.html
The same inability to accurately assess one's maturity will likely lead you to inaccurately assess your ability to sustain this relationship, though that would appear to be the only option you're willing to explore.

But that is life.

So explore it. Stay together for as long as your do. Love each other and the baby as well as you can. Work hard to provide for your new family.

And let the rest be revealed in the future.
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:57 AM   #15
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it's definitely stressful at times, But i've been though much worse stress in my life that its something I've come to handle well.
At 16. I doubt you can even fathom the financial and emotional responsibility of a child, the impact on your family...
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 09:59 AM   #16
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Accurate self-assessment—and especially a well developed sense of humility—is a true sign of maturity.



The same inability to accurately assess one's maturity will likely lead you to inaccurately assess your ability to sustain this relationship, though that would appear to be the only option you're willing to explore.

But that is life.

So explore it. Stay together for as long as your do. Love each other and the baby as well as you can. Work hard to provide for your new family.

And let the rest be revealed in the future.
Well, that definitely brought some insight in here. My meaning behind the statement was that we do things a lot different then other people, mainly by me already bringing in income, and us constantly being described as being married already since we act like we are anyway.

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At 16. I doubt you can even fathom the financial and emotional responsibility of a child, the impact on your family...
But I Can, in a sense, my sister had her first child when she was 17. I've grown up with it.
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 10:00 AM   #17
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While I would normally agree with you, there is something much more complicated with us. We have been friends since kindergarden, and its just been a whole different kind of relationship.

Oh please. You're 16 and still a kid. I don't care how much stress you've had in your life or how long you've known this girl, you are no different than other teens who make mistakes when having sex. You also don't know what love is yet. I know my tone is harsh but I've seen situations like this many times and they all tend to end up the same.

You state you're both more mature than others your age. Sorry bro, that's a crock. If you were both mature, you would have used protection, your girlfriend wouldn't be using religion to not use protection but conveniently set it aside to have sex and a pregnancy test would have been done as soon as the possibility arose. [/harsh]
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Old Jun 27, 2013, 10:16 AM   #18
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