Stupid Spider Questions

Yes. This is gonna be a heated thread, and will likely cause more drama and angst than someone talking about George Zimmerman not paying his taxes on PRSI. Feelings will be hurt. Long standing friendships shattered like so much brittle glass. The only reason I dare broach such a difficult topic is because I've already scoured Google and come up negative, and with the large spread of professions represented on this board, someone here has to be a spider expert.

That's right. In case you couldn't tell by the subject and the last sentence of my last paragraph, this thread is going to be about spiders. Particularly the unbearably frightening spiders I've come across in my back yard. Normally spiders don't bother me (save for brown recluses), and are hardly something I'd consider wasting your collective time with. But these spiders?

...are crazy spiders. We're talking freakishly huge, hairy bastards the likes of which I've never seen before. These aren't things that normally live in temperate climates. Oh no. They have to be something displaced from the deepest, darkest heart of the Amazon rainforest. Now one wouldn't be so bad, but I've come across three out in my yard. I'm afraid they're gonna get together, have some nasty spider orgy, and breed an infestation. If that happens, yeah...I'd have to sell the house and move.

But enough buildup. Without further ado, I give you: SPIDERS! Needless to say, if you're an arachnophobe, you should not click on these following links.

What the hell...

Oh my good lord god...

To give you a sense of scale, I have roughly medium sized hands, and this thing could easily fit in my palm and then some. The web is large enough to be strung between two trees. And what the thing is eating in that second shot? I'm pretty sure it's the dessicated remains of a camel cricket. The pictures were taken with me holding my iPhone roughly two feet away from it in one hand while holding an LED flashlight in the other.

So my question is, what kind of spiders are these, and are they going to eventually raid my house and kill me?

chown33 said:

Please post approximately where you live. Knowing your location also gives some idea of what species live in your area. It's one thing if you found those spiders in Phoenix; quite another if you found them in Anchorage.

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Gah, should've remembered to do that. I live in Georgia, just south of the Tennessee state line. The largest spiders we have around here are writing spiders, which this...whatever it is...is a bit smaller than. On a rough guesstimation, With it laying like it is in the first shot, it'd be a little larger than an old US Liberty dollar.

In general, spiders are relatively easy to kill with any household insecticide. Even more so if they're sitting stationary in the middle of a big web. You could use the "imminent threat" doctrine noted in this thread, and pre-emptively dispatch them.

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Honestly, I don't think anything short of napalm supported by a healty spray of automatic weapon fire will get rid of these things.

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Shrink said:

What do you mean eventually...have you checked under the covers on your bed recently?

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I've done all I can do given the circumstances, which is walk around the house with an old football helmet on and carry a broom wherever I go.

...it's kept me safe so far.

simsaladimbamba said:

If they are not poisonous, why kill them? I get, if they are big, the photos do not do them any kind of justice in any regard how big they are, they can be frightening, I probably would squeak a bit, and I love those buggers for what they are, beings with a purpose.

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Normally I wouldn't bother, but these...things present a problem. See, over the summer, something has been building a web that stretches over an absolutely massive span. Most spiders find a corner and build their web there. These spiders (I'm assuming they're the ones doing it) will shoot strands that stretch 20 feet easily. To give you an example, here's a shot of my front yard...



See those two red circles? Any time I pass between them, I'll invariably walk into a part of a spider web. I'll end up knocking it down, but whatever's doing it just builds it right back again a few hours later.

I haven't seen the spider that builds that particular web, but finding these three spiders and seeing their webs makes me think they're the ones doing it.

...and since they like to hang their webs out in open, empty space, that means I'll eventually walk into one face first at some point.

...which means I might very well end up with one of those spiders sitting right on my face.

...and though I'm not particularly scared of spiders, I do not want that to happen.

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LIVEFRMNYC said:

Put rubbing alcohol in a spray bottle and spray it on everyone you see, if you want to kill them. Just a few drops of rubbing alcohol is like instant death for incests.

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That'll make me a hit at the parties.

LIVEFRMNYC said:

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More like...

I don't think that's it, but your link did lead me to a spider it looks most like.

The Araneus Diadematus, aka the European Garden Spider. The only thing that throws me off is that my mystery spiders are a bit larger than what Wikipedia claims here, and they're apparently so common across the US, I should've seen more than my fair share by now.

...uugggghhh.

Roller said:

I didn't know spiders could write, but I suppose if they could they'd be able to weave a tangled web of a story.

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You obviously haven't seen Charlotte's Web. It's based on a true story, you know.

I live across the state line in Ala. I read the other day that conditions this year have been ideal for spider growth and procreation - lots of insect food for them to chow down on. Someone posted a picture of a small snake that was killed by a black widow spider not far from here.

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I'm not gonna click that link because I can't stand snakes, dead or alive. But you are right, we've had such an incredibly wet summer this year it's been great for insects in general. Even if the weather weren't perfectly ideal for allowing spiders to breed to near mutant proportions, they'd still be huge just from the bounty of bugs flying into their webs. If I ever wanted to recreate that one scene from Temple of Doom, all I'd have to do is turn my breezeway light on for 15 minutes, and there they are. Bugs galore.

But on the plus side, the constant rain has made for the greenest, mildest summer I've seen in years.