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corywoolf

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Jun 28, 2004
1,352
4
This has to be the most biased review I have seen of anything, period. It cracks me up how off the person is on the majority of the points. The best part is the screen shot of Safari and the lovely caption reading "Poor standards compliance: Apple's Safari web browser often fails to render MSN properly."

I kid you not, this is for real.

This might be old news, but I just did a search for "mac mini" and this came up in the top ten!!! Scary for Apple to have bad reviews that easy to find.
 

corywoolf

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Jun 28, 2004
1,352
4
CoMpX said:
Yea this is pretty old I remember this. It was confirmed to be a complete joke. ;)
thank god, but it still isn't good it ranks so high on google.
 

katie ta achoo

Blogger emeritus
May 2, 2005
9,166
5
If you believe Apple’s marketing department, the new Mini is “smaller than most packs of gum” and weighs “less than four quarters”. Well, we received our test unit from Apple yesterday, and let me say right off the bat that those claims are a wee bit of an exaggeration. Far from being Trident-sized, the Mini actually measures about 6.5”x6.5”x2”, about the size of two wonderbread cheese sandwiches stacked on top of each other, or about 50 packs of Bubble Yum. As for the weight, it feels about three pounds. Hold a Mini in one hand and four quarters in the other and tell me which one feels heavier. You could perform this experiment yourself at an Apple store.
Uhh... Talking about the iPod shuffle thinking it's a mac mini?
WTF?

and that.. thing he calls equally stylish?

this dude had better be joking.. actually WANTING to install WEATHERBUG and HOTBAR?

*barfs*


and upon further inspection of the rest of the site:
"LOZ ROFL PHWOAR!!!!11!1! HILARIOUS!!!1!!"
Good job having a parody review on the top ten of google searches, to confuse the consumer. Ugh.
 

frankblundt

macrumors 65816
Sep 19, 2005
1,271
0
South of the border
Very good.
When I consider that a good deal of my time is spent running applications like Disk Defragmenter, Scandisk, Norton AV, Windows Update and Ad-Aware--none of which are available for the Mac platform--it doesn't make sense for me to "switch" to a Mac at this time.
But yer right - sarcasm's not culturally universal - so perhaps dangerous.
 

MacQuest

macrumors 6502a
Jan 18, 2003
902
0
You See Dead People...
katie ta achoo said:
...and that.. thing he calls equally stylish?

His description of that thing under the picture is hilarious!

"...or I could grab an equally stylish, full-featured eMachine at the gas station with a bag of chips for less than half the Mini's price, with the added benefit of being able to run Windows XP. Decisions, decisions."

Gotta love sarcasm. :D
 

MacQuest

macrumors 6502a
Jan 18, 2003
902
0
You See Dead People...
Another gem:

"Heck, the Internet Explorer icon isn’t even out on the taskbar by default, it’s buried in the c:\applications folder."

It does concern me however that some people might take this review seriously and totally miss the fact that it is an obvious, sarcastic joke.
 

jacobj

macrumors 65816
Apr 22, 2003
1,124
87
Jersey
This may be old news, but I haven't seen it before. There's enough inaccuracy in the article for Apple to take them to court - no sh*t. All the cr*p about apples claims on size, the claim that it is a stripped down version of OSX (Apple don't do stripped down versions).

Here are some of my favourites - if favourite can be defined as something that infuriates me enough to want to rip someone's private assets off :eek

  • Stripped down version of OSX
  • He tried installing office from an Windows Office CD and uses it as proof that Office isn't compatible.
  • $1,100 is would cost for a monitor, keyboard, mouse and of course the Virus software that it soooo necessary...
  • Since he can't get his main apps it is no good. His main apps are Windows Update (Doh), A virus scanner, an anti adware app.. God this guy is insane.


After a bit of reflection I don't want to rip his private assets off.... I do however want to know what justification his parents had for giving him a frontal lobotomy when he was young!
 

cnakeitaro

macrumors 6502
Jan 16, 2006
277
0
Virginia Beach
when he starts to talk about the loss of a keyboard, mouse, and monitor....

wasn't the mac mini supposed to be a transition machine for windows users?

They could just plug in their mac mini in the place of their current desktop, using the same monitor, keyboard, and desktop. Yeah and the guy is a complete moron, like all MCSE's, for thinking that a windows version of office would work on a mac.

I know its probably a joke, but it seems like a bit too much...
 

toothpaste

macrumors 6502
May 8, 2005
293
5
It is quite old, rabble rouser appears to have stirred an emotion from the OP. Stories like this can not be taken seriously and are a poor attempt at being humors. :)
 

munkees

macrumors 65816
Sep 3, 2005
1,027
1
Pacific Northwest
This kid is a real retard, if you go to the home page there is a picture of him. He looks young, any how I emailed him this response

I just read your article found at

http://www.divisiontwo.com/articles/MacMini2.html

first item I thought was very wrong

"While the hardware is about roughly equivalent to a Windows PC circa 1995".

What windows computer back in 1995, came even close to a PowerPC 7455, which has 128 BIT vector processor on board.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that the Mini has no PCI slots either? And no floppy disk drive? Well, no wonder they got the unit to be so small. No keyboard or mouse either. Sorry, Kayla, daddy’s got to make another trip to Best Buy before you can play with your new computer."

Firstly don't need PC, is a complete solution, what PCI card were you wanting to put in it? or any other $500 computer market for low entry. The keyboard and mouse is not include because this system is designed to sell to people who already have those items.

"...I could get a Mac mini computer for $499 and have no keyboard or mouse, no serial ports, no way to connect a printer, no PS/2 ports, no floppy drive, no 5.25" bays, no PCI slots, no speakers, and no Windows XP..."

There is no PS/2 and hello, every heard os USB, it means universal Serial Bus, that where you plus your printer, mouse, keyboard, and if you want an external floppy. The Dell computer we have now in the US Army have no floppy drive anymore since most people use USB flash stick or thumb drives. Dell printers are USB, same with mouse and keyboard

No windows XP because it runs Mac OS X, a clearly more advance robust operating system. My guess you don't know much about different OSes.

"Back in the lab, we were able to borrow a USB keyboard and mouse from a Tangerine iMac collecting dust in the closet and get the darn Mini booted up at last. This is where the first noticeable problem with Apple design arises. While there is a Mac-style “donnnnggggg” when the Mini is first turned on, during normal operation the unit makes no sound whatsoever. This could make it very difficult for a novice user to know whether or not the computer is on. In fact, it took our techs about fifteen minutes before we realized the unit itself was operating normally and it was the monitor that was not plugged in properly. It turns out the Mini uses a weird kind of display connector on the back that requires a special adapter if you want to plug it into a PC monitor. We used a 15” Compaq VGA display."

you guys are not smart, does not matter if it is a Mini or a Windows PC, you need to plug a monitor into it.

"The Mini has got some built-in software for basic computer functions, but it can’t do many common things as well as its grown-up brothers in the Windows world can. The little things can add up to big frustration for someone who might accidentally buy a Mini expecting it to be just like Windows. For example, there is no Outlook Express for email, but Apple includes a program called Mail, which is like a stripped-down email client that can’t execute scripts or open attachments without user intervention. Personally I find it annoying, but if someone doesn’t depend on emailing their coworkers vbscripts like I do, they might be able to get by with it. Secondly and possibly even more glaringly, there is no antivirus program shipped with the Mac. In today’s climate of non-stop worms, trojans and viruses, releasing a computer with no virus removal software is irresponsible on the part of Apple. The OS X comes with some system maintenance utilities, but essentials such as a defragmenter or a registry cleaner are notably absent. I would expect a Mini to get really slow and unstable within a couple months if you can’t perform any routine maintenance tasks on it."

Well lets look at the software, windows XP does not come with anything out of the box or those cheap PC, that has anything like iLife, the program to create web pages, music with garageband, do HD movie editing with social effects, DVD burner software to make those DVD menus. and the best part all this are integrated with one another, so you have access to multimedia in each application. Don't forget iTunes.

Outlook express is not that great. The mail clients is designed for imap, pop3 and hello what's this Microsoft exchange support.

Don't need defrag is the disk OS can manage the drive better. plus there are freeware available for people who really want to waste that time. This is a UNIX OS not a windows.

no registry cleaner needed, does not have a registry, Microsoft biggest mistake was the registry, a poor design, and clearly has mad it is for viruses.

"To see how much industry support the Mac platform has these days, I did a google to see if there were Mac versions of any of my favorite applications; unfortunately I ended up disappointed every time. There are very few first-person shooters for OSX. There is no Mac version of WeatherBug to check the temperature anywhere in the world. Nor is there a Mac version of helpful web and email enhancers like Hotbar. Or any equivalent of the DealHelper software I use to keep track of my passwords. My Office 2003 CD would not install, despite claims I had heard from Mac fanboys that OS X is compatible with Office. Heck, the Internet Explorer icon isn’t even out on the taskbar by default, it’s buried in the c:\applications folder. "

You must not be to bright, I guess you could not install office 2003 on this device because it runs on Windows with intel processor, but you could install Office 2004 for Mac from Microsoft, which is newer and very better than it's windows version. All apple programs are scriptable using apple script.

There is a weather tacking feature it under the dashboard and is very easy to use.

I will agree the game choices are not as many, nor do the games get released in the same time frame.

Does not need explore on the task bar it has safari instead and there is no c: drive it a unix file system, also same with linux, the root top of the drive is /.

$1600 what crap are you putting on. I can have a wireless keyboard mouse using bluetooth, bose speakers, and a nice Dell 19" flat panel for $1250 with this Mac mini. There are not many virus out there for the Mac and because of it unix frame it does not have as many security holes as Windows. Believe me I am a systems Admin for the US Army currently, and they are Super Serious about security.

Well you should go to a real school and learn about the technology. You don't seem very well educated on computers. I have a degree in Micro Electronics processor design, 11 years software engineering experience. Have work on cell phones, routers, Internet servers, real time control systems to make chemicals. I have programed Windows, Linux, Unix(different flavors), and Mac OS X.

so before you try to school the world school yourself.
 

Mr Skills

macrumors 6502a
Nov 21, 2005
803
1
Goodness me...


It's a joke!!!

I can't believe so many people are taking it seriously! It's taking the mic out of PCs, not Macs! Hence: "essentials such as a defragmenter or a registry cleaner are notably absent" and "the unit makes no sound whatsoever. This could make it very difficult for a novice user to know whether or not the computer is on".

Another review on the same site is of the Barbie OS, "the result of almost a year's worth of marketing research into what pre-adolescent girls want in a mobile Linux solution".

:D
 

munkees

macrumors 65816
Sep 3, 2005
1,027
1
Pacific Northwest
Do I feel like the fool, i started to look around the site, made it to the PowerBook G5, and saw that was a joke. Also the dell rumors. which does say its a joke. I am the fool
 

Daedalus256

macrumors 6502
Nov 7, 2005
308
0
Pittsburgh, PA
MacQuest said:
Another gem:

"Heck, the Internet Explorer icon isn’t even out on the taskbar by default, it’s buried in the c:\applications folder."

It does concern me however that some people might take this review seriously and totally miss the fact that it is an obvious, sarcastic joke.

That's what happens when you just get so blind about stuff that you can't actually see what is happening in something like this.

This is pretty great. I knew it was a joke the moment he brought up eMachines because as many should know, eMachines makes the shattiest, most poorly built computers I've ever seen.

EDIT: Oh and munkees, I can't believe you actually toook the time to write out a very long and drawn out explanation of why this kid is dumb and how much he sucks, etc, etc. Oh the irony, lol :D
 

jacobj

macrumors 65816
Apr 22, 2003
1,124
87
Jersey
Munkees you are so gullible.. It's incredible..

Please ignore my earlier post.. actually, no don't.. it was a double bluff, very acerbic and wry I think you'll find! ;)
 

munkees

macrumors 65816
Sep 3, 2005
1,027
1
Pacific Northwest
LOL :D I have to laugth at myself, I told my wife, and she did not understand why somebody would waste there time building such a site, and spend the energy on articles like these. Guess she does not understand geek, she does not even speak geek.
 
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