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Old Mar 21, 2006, 10:59 AM   #1
greatdevourer
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Windows Sourcecode!

/* Source Code Windows 2000 */

#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "workst~1.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#include "monopoly.h"
#include "backdoor.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD

char make_prog_look_big(16000000);
void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();

if (first_time_installation)
{
make_100_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of-OS2();
make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
disable_Netscape();
disable_RealPlayer();
disable_Lotus_Products();
hang_system();
} //if
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();

if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_31();
do_nothing_loop();
} // if
} //while

if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();

if (fast_cpu())
{
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed,very_slow);
set_mouse(action,jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction,sometimes);
} //if

/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");

if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt)
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp",O_CREATE);

while(something)
{
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
} // while
create_general_protection_fault();

} // main

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Old Mar 21, 2006, 11:35 AM   #2
odedia
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Excellent
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Old Mar 21, 2006, 11:38 AM   #3
liketom
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so true , so funny


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Old Mar 21, 2006, 12:30 PM   #4
Josh
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Location: State College, PA
OS X Source Code

Code:
#include <update>
#include <graphics>

int main()
{ float their_price,our_price;
  float their_performance,our_performance;
  
  if(their_price < ourprice && their_performance > our_performance)
    {  while(reality_distortion())
          { pretty_graphics();
             update_frequently();
             make_new_obsolete();
             force_upgrade();
          }

   return 0;
}

bool reality_distortion()
{ string lies,lies2,lies3;
   bool customer_tricked;

   while(lies || lies2 ||  lies3)
      customer_tricked = true;

  return true;
}
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Old Mar 21, 2006, 01:44 PM   #5
jtalerico
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh
OS X Source Code

Code:
#include <update>
#include <graphics>

int main()
{ float their_price,our_price;
  float their_performance,our_performance;
  
  if(their_price < ourprice && their_performance > our_performance)
    {  while(reality_distortion())
          { pretty_graphics();
             update_frequently();
             make_new_obsolete();
             force_upgrade();
          }

   return 0;
}

bool reality_distortion()
{ string lies,lies2,lies3;
   bool customer_tricked;

   while(lies || lies2 ||  lies3)
      customer_tricked = true;

  return true;
}

Nice
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Old Mar 21, 2006, 04:57 PM   #6
HiRez
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Location: Western US
Hehe...funny!

But hey, who says Macs can't run Windoze software?
Code:
- (void)runWindowsSimulation {
    [crashView lockFocus];
    [[NSColor blueColor] set];
    NSRectFill([crashView bounds]);
    [crashView unlockFocus];

    [crashTextField setTextColor:[NSColor whiteColor]];
    [crashTextField setStringValue:@"A fatal exception 0E has occurred at 0292:DBAA4C16. The current application will be terminated."];

    BOOL done = NO;
    while (!done) {
         [self release];
    }
}
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Last edited by HiRez; Mar 21, 2006 at 05:06 PM.
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Old Mar 21, 2006, 04:59 PM   #7
Benjamin
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oh yeah, thats been around a few times. I remember seeing basically that when the win2k source code was leaked and it was on /., its funny alright.
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