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Old Jan 25, 2009, 01:27 AM   #1
bassproguy07
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alcoholic?!?!?!?

ok according to my parents I am an alcoholic, is it because i live in a small town wnd there is nothing t do??? or is it because it is genetic and it is out of my control. For the record, my dad, grandpa, other grandpa, and older sister, are all alcoholics or drug addicts. My life sucks, I failed out of college, joned the marines and leave in 18 days. I got really drunk tonight and came home to my parents wide awake. I cant really say that I drink every night because i dont, only on the weekends. I really need help, and hoping the armed forces will do it for me. Is there anyone on here that has a problem with alcohol, or has delt with it in the passed because I really need some help and this is the only family that really understands me! thanks guys!
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 01:32 AM   #2
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Sober for 9+ years now. Couldn't imagine using/drinking again.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 01:35 AM   #3
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congrats man, I am more than proud and wish my family could do the same as well as myself. I really hate what alcohol does to me but i can not control it. when I am sober I think I do not have a problem but somehow it gets a hold of me.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 02:24 AM   #4
bartelby
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If you only drink on the weekend then you're not really an alcoholic.

If you're worried seek professional advice...

Last edited by bartelby; Jan 25, 2009 at 02:31 AM.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 02:31 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bartelby View Post
If you only drink on the weekend then you're not really an alcoholic.
Agrees...

Can I offer you beer or wine in a box?
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 02:32 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bartelby View Post
If you only drink on the weekend then you're not an alcoholic.
no, but your binge drinker. if you always get drunk on a friday and saturday try and cut down to 1 night. Your body is on a schedule where 2/7 days a week at the same'ish time your getting drunk. This is the case with alot of my friends, i dont drink, but they all binge drink(drunk on fridays and saturday nights) and when 1 tried to stop they got withdraw and the shakes. Hopefully this isnt the case with you but just cut down, dont try and "quit" right away, it will be much easier to just cut down until your at nothing.

Good luck in the marines mate. I hope you stick it through.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 02:49 AM   #7
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the only reason i dont drink every day is because i dont drink alone.....i need people around me and all my friends have work on the weekdays. I dont know i am still a little messed up right now so idk. I got in a big fight with the parental units tonight over this whole thing but i try not to let it bother me. i am leaving in 17 days for the marines, hope to never come back to this crap hole of a town. I love you guys, my macrumors family, and maybe i will get better soon, or die trying but thanks, it means a lot that all of you care so much! peace! Semper Fi to my macrumors friends
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 03:11 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by bartelby View Post
If you only drink on the weekend then you're not really an alcoholic.
Yeah amateur, Bartelby's right.


When you say your dad, 2 grandfathers, and older sister are alcoholics or drug addicts, do you mean they drink like you do, or do they drink until they're drunk every single night?

If they don't, then your family members just drink. They're not alcoholics.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 06:33 AM   #9
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You're not an alcoholic by British standards

Not drinking alone is a good sign in my opinion, anyway - best of luck to you in the marines!
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 06:56 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by bassproguy07 View Post
the only reason i dont drink every day is because i dont drink alone.....i need people around me and all my friends have work on the weekdays. I dont know i am still a little messed up right now so idk. I got in a big fight with the parental units tonight over this whole thing but i try not to let it bother me. i am leaving in 17 days for the marines, hope to never come back to this crap hole of a town. I love you guys, my macrumors family, and maybe i will get better soon, or die trying but thanks, it means a lot that all of you care so much! peace! Semper Fi to my macrumors friends
Drinking alone is a big sign of alcoholism.
Not caring what your family think is also a big sign.
NEEDING to drink EVERY day is a sign, whether a work day or not.

You're just a weekend drinker. Very far from being an alcoholic.

You'll be fine once you have something to occupy you fully.
Good luck in the Marines.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 07:11 AM   #11
nick9191
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There are different varieties of alcoholism, my dad could go months, years even without a drink, and then out of nowhere go on a month long bender. He was a gambler and had it in his head he needed to drink to be lucky and to be sociable.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 07:25 AM   #12
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How much do you drink on the weekend anyway? Please don't exaggerate.

I used to drink quite a bit but I wouldn't have considered myself an alcoholic, I could easily drink a 700ml bottle of gin in a night though, I just drank large amounts every now and then, occasionally not drinking for a few weeks and occasionally drinking excessively on consecutive days.

I don't drink at all now, havn't since around February last year as it just messes with my head too much.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 09:40 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by bassproguy07 View Post
I really hate what alcohol does to me but i can not control it.
Hmmm ... in your own words it sounds like a problem. Whether you label it "alcoholic" or not.
.

Last edited by Rt&Dzine; May 13, 2009 at 07:22 PM. Reason: addition
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 10:01 AM   #14
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You could self assess by asking yourself the screening questions that you'll get asked by anyone who is counseling you on the subject:
  • Has anyone ever asked you to cut down on your drinking?
  • Has someone asking you to reduce your drinking made you angry?
  • Have you ever felt guilty for drinking?
  • Do you ever have a drink as the first thing in the morning (an eye opener)?

These questions were from a 44 question survey that was developed to screen for alcohol abuse. These were the four questions that had the highest correlation with drinking problems. Yes to any of these questions means that more indepth counseling on alcohol is needed.

There are other questionnaries for binge drinking that I can't remember off the top of my head, but ask if you've ever gotten behind the wheel after drinking (drunk or otherwise), or if you've ever been driven by someone who is drunk, or if you've ever blacked out from drunkenness...etc.

If you're concerned about it, perhaps you should seek help.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 10:07 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by bartelby View Post
Drinking alone is a big sign of alcoholism.
Not caring what your family think is also a big sign.
NEEDING to drink EVERY day is a sign, whether a work day or not.

You're just a weekend drinker. Very far from being an alcoholic.

You'll be fine once you have something to occupy you fully.
Good luck in the Marines.
I drink alone most of the time I drink. if I could find someone to watch hockey with me every night I wouldn't be drinking alone.

So now I am confused and I an alcoholic or a hockeyholic?

Not caring what the family thinks or cares could be a by product of their own doings.

My dad is probably a classic alcoholic. When going through a divorce I think it I realized that the signs were there for me.
One morning I woke up and just made a decision to stop drinking.
When I got my wife back in order I started to consume alcohol but its on occassion with far more responsibility/control. But there are times where I can feel it in myself those feelings/cravings of needing alcohol.
It's not always easy. What helps me is looking at my wife and son and what we have. then looking at my father at what he had and lost.

Going into the Marines can be a good thing or bad.
It is up to the individual on how they handle the brotherhood of the Marines. Being in the navy I drank with a lot of Marines. A lot of Marines would party pretty hard. The services had a wide array of assistance for their members.

I don't think there would be an officer in charge in the service today that wouldn't help a member find treatment or counseling.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 10:11 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by bruinsrme View Post

So now I am confused and I an alcoholic or a hockeyholic?
I was pointing out that out of 3 of the main signs to look out for the OP has none.


But I'm no expert. I've been through it all though and come out the other side still able to drink without feeling the need to get blasted at every available opportunity. I drink very little these days, maybe 1 - 2 bottles of beer a week.

Like I said in my first post, if the OP is worried he should get professional advice.

If you like hockey then I think you're just confused
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 11:01 AM   #17
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Binger not alcoholic.

Relax, the Marines will put you on the wagon in short order.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 11:25 AM   #18
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Does it really matter whether you meet a specific definition of being an alcoholic? The point is that you are concerned that you may have a problem that could get worse. I suggest that you act as if you ARE an "alcoholic" and take steps to get it under control so it doesn't become worse. Why wait until you have hit bottom to initiate corrective action? It also sounds like you are self-medicating yourself out of a miserable mental/emotional state brought on by your life's circumstances, perhaps even going the military and possibly having to face combat. That would freak me out and want me to seek a diversion. Or, maybe when you do get on with your life and out of your town, you will mature a little more and what behaviors seem appealing to do now (including drinking) will rate much lower on your "want to do" scale than they do now. In any event, just keep taking positive action in your life and don't focus so much on the negative. Sorry for the lecture.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 11:46 AM   #19
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ok so I guess you could say I am a weekend binge drinker....I only drink on the weekends though because that is the only time I am able to obtain alcohol. I dnt have a job, so i dont have any money so the only way I can get drunk is when my friends drink. I drink a lot though, like enough to where i pass out somewhere or am puking my brains out. I will drink until my body cant handle anymore. I am sure this is what most teens and college kids do but I was just told I was an alcoholic by my parents so i didnt realy know. I am feeling really bad now that I am sober, we got in a huge fight last night about all this. anyways I am going to go get some coffee, hanks for all the help guys!
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 11:53 AM   #20
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Take your time in Boot Camp seriously and when the DI says you're not allowed to drink, don't try to sneak around and do it. Just don't drink.

After a few months of not drinking you'll see you don't miss it that much anymore. And don't get caught up with your buddies trying to ahve a big blowout every time you get a few hours off.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 12:22 PM   #21
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Binger, yes. Everyday boozer no. You have time to nip this is the bud.

I'm an avowed ale-a-holic.

I don't do hard liquor or wine anymore, except a nice bottle of Irish for the New Year.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 12:26 PM   #22
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Take your time in Boot Camp seriously and when the DI says you're not allowed to drink, don't try to sneak around and do it. Just don't drink.

After a few months of not drinking you'll see you don't miss it that much anymore. And don't get caught up with your buddies trying to ahve a big blowout every time you get a few hours off.
Last time I went to boot camp - you're pretty gosh darn sequestered. It has been 30 some years but from what I remember, there wasn't even an opportunity to get a buzz on unless you drank mouthwash or vanilla extract or cough medicine or... Never mind.

You'll probably binge quite a bit before you push off, it's normal. Just relax and try to have some fun. Your parents will be missing you soon enough and when that box comes home with your personal effects, all bad feelings will be forgotten by them and you'll be too busy to worry about it (or having a drink for that matter.) It's a parenting thing. I rag on my 21 year-old too.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 01:45 PM   #23
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Hmmm ... in your own words it sounds like a problem. Whether you label it "alcoholic" or not. If the military has no programs, try AA. You will meet people in the same boat.

When I went for help, I was asked: "Can you stop at 2 drinks every time you drink?"
.
Didn't read all the replies, but a caution about programs in the military. Can't speak about the marines specifically, but getting flagged as a psych issue/substance abuser/etc will put a serious hurt on your future prospects with them. Stick to AA if you need it but keep it out of your military file.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 02:43 PM   #24
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I basically do the same thing as you. Drink on the weekends with friends and "have a good time" (even though I'm underage). I definitely don't consider myself an alcoholic because I only drink on the weekends and would never drink alone. Although I'm pretty sure genetics can play a huge part in alcoholism. Maybe I'm just rambling on, but I think, like someone else suggested, to maybe take it down to drinking just 1 night a week. As long as you can limit yourself, that is the key.
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Old Jan 25, 2009, 09:54 PM   #25
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You guys are steering a serious conversation in an uncontrolled way.

I would advise you to seek groups such as AA which will help with some aspects of your situation but your best salvation would be finding something that you like, be it gardening, woodworking or reading and create a healthy outlet for your craving. In the meantime, limit the number of drinks you have on the weekends and tell yourself that you only have these 3 bottles to drink so you should take your time and enjoy it and at the end of the night, feel proud of your self-control.

Instead of acting in remorse and anger towards the people who call you alcoholics, tell them it's time to change and you now have it under control, and make sure you DO have it under control, who knows, maybe you'll inspire some others around you who are in the same situation.
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