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Please critique AGAIN, thank you
- Thread starter slipper
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I'd drop the italics. Use it for one or two lines, but not for all.
Also, I like the antialiased one (bottom) better...
Also, I like the antialiased one (bottom) better...
Savage Henry
macrumors 65816
see i was thinking that the bottom one might be getting a little to cluttered. i dont want an overwhelming amount of words in the ad so people just skim right by it. but yeah thats the reason why i changed the font size and spaced each ground of words in its own section on the bottom ad.
wowser
macrumors 6502a
I can only see the top two image - is this normal?
out of those i would go with the bottom one (this one)
The italics is fine, but i prefer the one with the thinner, less muddy font.
I'm not sure about the title graphic, though. The red colour is ok, but the font looks scrappy. Also, the text ("Alexander Shu... sold to his favourite") is awkward, unclear and needs improvement. Eg - having two 'making's so close together in the sentence is clumsy. I realise that this is not the full text and that that sentence is incomplete, but i would be interested to see the full text for clarity. Just my 'two pence' so take this with as big a pinch a salt as you like.
Sorry to bother again, but i also feel that too many font sizes have been used and grouping them all together so closely makes it look odd. In terms of text layout, i would choose the top design
out of those i would go with the bottom one (this one)
The italics is fine, but i prefer the one with the thinner, less muddy font.
I'm not sure about the title graphic, though. The red colour is ok, but the font looks scrappy. Also, the text ("Alexander Shu... sold to his favourite") is awkward, unclear and needs improvement. Eg - having two 'making's so close together in the sentence is clumsy. I realise that this is not the full text and that that sentence is incomplete, but i would be interested to see the full text for clarity. Just my 'two pence' so take this with as big a pinch a salt as you like.
Sorry to bother again, but i also feel that too many font sizes have been used and grouping them all together so closely makes it look odd. In terms of text layout, i would choose the top design
bro, your definately not a bother, in-fact i want you guys to 'bother' me with youre ideas.wowser said:
the ad is meant to have no pressure to the prospective client. i mean, how often do you go up to the girl of your dreams and say, "hey this is my phone number, give me a call when your ready to marry."
and the reason why i put the sentences in different groups is to make it more easily readable. if i make just one single paragraph, dont you think that would be a little overwhelming.
as for the "making a difference by making", ill change that.
thanks for your ideas and insight guys!
Squire
macrumors 68000
wowser said:I can only see the top two image - is this normal?
out of those i would go with the bottom one (this one)
The italics is fine, but i prefer the one with the thinner, less muddy font.
I'm not sure about the title graphic, though. The red colour is ok, but the font looks scrappy. Also, the text ("Alexander Shu... sold to his favourite") is awkward, unclear and needs improvement. Eg - having two 'making's so close together in the sentence is clumsy. I realise that this is not the full text and that that sentence is incomplete, but i would be interested to see the full text for clarity. Just my 'two pence' so take this with as big a pinch a salt as you like.
I actually like the top one better. Maybe it's just my monitor, but it looks clearer. As for the "making" comment above, how about:
...has been making a difference by contributing a significant portion of his proceeds to his favorite charity.
It looks good but there are two things that still seem a bit awkward at first glance.
1) It took me a few reads before I realized that the top header ("Together we can make a difference") and the next line ("in saving and changing lives") were one sentence. Perhaps a black line separating that part from the remainder of the ad?
2) I would include the word "charity" after favorite.
Overall, it looks good. It's also a good heads-up on your part to ask for so much feedback. So many people publish/submit stuff nowadays without getting an extra set of eyes to look it over.
Squire
1. red is too bright, match it with the tab on the cancer society logo.
2. drop italics on everything EXCEPT the caption at top, and text above and below logo.
3. I would place "That's why I urge you to donate..." below "...and he needs your help."
4. the bottom image looks better IMO, anti alias your text (are you using photoshop? it's under the text options, i like sharp or crisp).
5. soften the logo's drop shadow, it's too hard.
6. organize. it looks like everything was tossed onto a photoshop document and then dragged into place. Some text is too large, others too small.
7. you should add the word "charity" to the end of your little blurb, it was confusing the hell out of me for awhile until I assumed that's what was supposed to go there, don't assume your target audience knows anything, they usually don't.
8. reconsider a font sans serifs. they make things seem too congested when they really aren't. also the top image, text is chunky, bottom image it's blurry, anti aliasing is key 😀 .
9. i dont know what the grey text under ACS logo is...but it's illegible so is unnecessary.
quick edit of how i'd arrange it, it still needs resizing and all the other touch ups, just thought i'd give my input 😛
2. drop italics on everything EXCEPT the caption at top, and text above and below logo.
3. I would place "That's why I urge you to donate..." below "...and he needs your help."
4. the bottom image looks better IMO, anti alias your text (are you using photoshop? it's under the text options, i like sharp or crisp).
5. soften the logo's drop shadow, it's too hard.
6. organize. it looks like everything was tossed onto a photoshop document and then dragged into place. Some text is too large, others too small.
7. you should add the word "charity" to the end of your little blurb, it was confusing the hell out of me for awhile until I assumed that's what was supposed to go there, don't assume your target audience knows anything, they usually don't.
8. reconsider a font sans serifs. they make things seem too congested when they really aren't. also the top image, text is chunky, bottom image it's blurry, anti aliasing is key 😀 .
9. i dont know what the grey text under ACS logo is...but it's illegible so is unnecessary.
quick edit of how i'd arrange it, it still needs resizing and all the other touch ups, just thought i'd give my input 😛
