iOS iPhone Developer Program Acceptance Time + need more help please.

Acceptance times greatly vary. It can be anywhere from a day to weeks. I think it's typically quicker for people in the US, so hopefully someone from the UK that recently went through it can chime in for you. And the process doesn't stop there, there's still payment, processing, etc. Once you are paid, you can go to your development portal and download the 3.0 beta and the iTunes 8.2 beta for any device, including your 1G Touch. And beta 4 is stable enough that you can use it as an every day OS, however some current apps don't work on it (like the Dictionary.com app).

It took 2 days for me.
I applied as an "Individual Develeoper".
Within hours I received my Activation code.
After I had completed the online forms etc., received the email from Apple, to download and print the "Tax Form".
This I had to sign and post to Apple in Tx, USA.
It took 24 hours after that to show my status as "Completed" both for the "Free" and "Paid" applications.

My experience was identical to steve10172's.

I applied for mine at 23:00pm on Bank Holiday Monday and got my acceptance at 8:30am the following day.

No idea on the other issues.

As a company = long while.