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Old May 4, 2004, 03:38 PM   #1
applebum
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Microsoft patents Apple

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Before I read this article, I wondered what that crazy MS had done to be able to patent Apple. Now I know.
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Old May 4, 2004, 04:17 PM   #2
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Pretty weird if you ask me, its called having way too much free time, maybe they should spend their time fixing holes in XP.
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Old May 4, 2004, 04:21 PM   #3
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I can't help thinking that perhaps Cnet has too much time on their hands. They use this tantalizing headline that of course will draw people in and then this is the story. Is this really news? It certainly isn't the news that most people will think it is when they see the headlines.
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Old May 4, 2004, 04:26 PM   #4
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microsoft needs to patent VIRUS
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Old May 4, 2004, 08:03 PM   #5
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funny how stupid mistakes can be made.

if apple accidentally patented microsoft, windows fanatics would be saying the same thing to us.
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Old May 4, 2004, 08:32 PM   #6
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Cool mistake, never did like Red Delicious, I'm a Granny Smith and Gala man myself.
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Old May 4, 2004, 09:24 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bennetsaysargh
funny how stupid mistakes can be made.

if apple accidentally patented microsoft, windows fanatics would be saying the same thing to us.
You mean that there are actually Windows fanatics!

I wonder why Bill Gates is also wanting to begin dominating the food market also. Now it starts with an apple!
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Old May 5, 2004, 02:31 AM   #8
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these headlines are really misleading. grrr

but its what gets ppl to read it in the 1st place
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Old May 5, 2004, 09:54 AM   #9
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That's why I get most of my news from google. I hate going to CNN and wasting my time reading misleading articles. Google seems to remove all that which makes reading the news that I actually want to read a lot easier.
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Old May 5, 2004, 12:18 PM   #10
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But this was CNet, not CNN...



Anyways, that's pretty funny.
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Old May 5, 2004, 07:45 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wdlove
You mean that there are actually Windows fanatics!

I wonder why Bill Gates is also wanting to begin dominating the food market also. Now it starts with an apple!
damn him! oh well, we should get the blueberry, so we can make muffins. who ever heard of apple muffins?

windows fanatics actually, they're mac haters
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Old May 6, 2004, 01:27 AM   #12
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Now of course the question is whether MrBill will use his monopoly leverage to put other produce companies out of business.... force Dell, Gateway and other PC manufacturers to include a bushle of thier apples with every order- making the rest of the apple growers of the world to lower thier prices to unprofitable levels just to compete...and when they're all long gone and broke- MS will stop giving thiers away...and instead raise thier prices to obsene reaches. Want to bake an apple pie- the staple on which America was built? $500.

This is an outrage and should be stopped. Everyone from the government to the FFA should be boycotting them- making a stand for our future... and our childrens future. Without apples- what kind of a sick world would we live in?

/sarcasm
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Old May 6, 2004, 01:31 AM   #13
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Now that Microsoft has a patent on the "Adams Apple", I wonder what other parts of our bodies they will patent next?
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Old May 6, 2004, 06:56 AM   #14
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what's coming next?

Microsoft Patents 1s & 0s*-



REDMOND, WA--In what CEO Bill Gates called "an unfortunate but necessary step to protect our intellectual property from theft and exploitation by competitors," the Microsoft Corporation patented the numbers one and zero Monday.

With the patent, Microsoft's rivals are prohibited from manufacturing or selling products containing zeroes and ones--the mathematical building blocks of all computer languages and programs--unless a royalty fee of 10 cents per digit used is paid to the software giant.


"Microsoft has been using the binary system of ones and zeroes ever since its inception in 1975," Gates told reporters. "For years, in the interest of the overall health of the computer industry, we permitted the free and unfettered use of our proprietary numeric systems. However, changing marketplace conditions and the increasingly predatory practices of certain competitors now leave us with no choice but to seek compensation for the use of our numerals."


A number of major Silicon Valley players, including Apple Computer, Netscape and Sun Microsystems, said they will challenge the Microsoft patent as monopolistic and anti-competitive, claiming that the 10-cent-per-digit licensing fee would bankrupt them instantly.


"While, technically, Java is a complex system of algorithms used to create a platform-independent programming environment, it is, at its core, just a string of trillions of ones and zeroes," said Sun Microsystems CEO Scott McNealy, whose company created the Java programming environment used in many Internet applications. "The licensing fees we'd have to pay Microsoft every day would be approximately 327,000 times the total net worth of this company."


"If this patent holds up in federal court, Apple will have no choice but to convert to analog," said Apple interim CEO Steve Jobs, "and I have serious doubts whether this company would be able to remain competitive selling pedal-operated computers running software off vinyl LPs."


As a result of the Microsoft patent, many other companies have begun radically revising their product lines: Database manufacturer Oracle has embarked on a crash program to develop "an abacus for the next millennium." Novell, whose communications and networking systems are also subject to Microsoft licensing fees, is working with top animal trainers on a chimpanzee-based message-transmission system. Hewlett-Packard is developing a revolutionary new steam-powered printer.


Despite the swarm of protest, Gates is standing his ground, maintaining that ones and zeroes are the undisputed property of Microsoft. "We will vigorously enforce our patents of these numbers, as they are legally ours," Gates said. "Among Microsoft's vast historical archives are Sanskrit cuneiform tablets from 1800 B.C. clearly showing ones and a symbol known as 'sunya,' or nothing. We also own: papyrus scrolls, written by Pythagoras himself in which he explains the idea of singular notation, or 'one'; early tracts by Mohammed ibn Musa al Kwarizimi explaining the concept of al-sifr, or 'the cipher'; original mathematical manuscripts by Heisenberg, Einstein and Planck; and a signed first-edition copy of Jean-Paul Sartre's Being And Nothingness. Should the need arise, Microsoft will have no difficulty proving to the Justice Department or anyone else that we own the rights to these numbers." Added Gates: "My salary also has lots of zeroes. I'm the richest man in the world."


According to experts, the full ramifications of Microsoft's patenting of one and zero have yet to be realized. "Because all integers and natural numbers derive from one and zero, Microsoft may, by extension, lay claim to ownership of all mathematics and logic systems, including Euclidean geometry, pulleys and levers, gravity, and the basic Newtonian principles of motion, as well as the concepts of existence and nonexistence," Yale University theoretical mathematics professor J. Edmund Lattimore said. "In other words, pretty much everything."


Lattimore said that the only mathematical constructs of which Microsoft may not be able to claim ownership are infinity and transcendental numbers like pi. Microsoft lawyers are expected to file liens on infinity and pi this week.


Microsoft has not yet announced whether it will charge a user fee to individuals who wish to engage in such mathematically rooted motions as walking, stretching and smiling.


In an address beamed live to billions of people around the globe Monday, Gates expressed confidence that his company's latest move will, ultimately, benefit all humankind.


"Think of this as a partnership," Gates said. "Like the ones and zeroes of the binary code itself, we must all work together to make the promise of the computer revolution a reality. As the world's richest, most powerful software company, Microsoft is number one. And you, the millions of consumers who use our products, are the zeroes."
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Old May 10, 2004, 12:00 AM   #15
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Yeesh! RTFA! You guys are acting like they did it on purpose!
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